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um. . . I'm having a problem. . . - 8/17/2008 8:49:02 AM
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nova86
Posts: 18
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Okay, usually I don't have too much of a problem being single. I am a 22 year old woman, with a VERY full and busy life, and I do desire to be married someday but I believe there are a lot of things that me and God have to work on first. So. . . that being said. . . for a few weeks now I have really, really been struggling with lust. Like. . . bad. It's gotten so bad it keeps me up at night. I mean, I have always had a normal sex drive. I am 22! Of course I want to be having sex! But it has never really interfered with my walk with God/my life until now. I am also a virgin, which may or may not have something to do with it (sometimes I feel like the only one left on earth, so I think that adds to the pressure to have sex). I have prayed several times for God to give me peace, patience, pure thoughts, etc. And sometimes I will have a week or a few days when it's not so bad, when it's like it used to be. But then. . . it starts again. I am very frustrated. Obviously I am frustrated that I am sinning, but I am also frustrated that I have no where to release my sexual tension except to just. . . I dunno, repress them? Forget about them? I'm a human being. That's tough. And what if I never get married? Will I have to repress/forget/struggle for ALL of my days? That sounds almost unbearable. I don't know what to do. I think this is a "problem" that a lot of single Christians struggle with but no one really talks about, so if that is the case I am hoping you guys have some advice for me. . . Thanks!
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RE: um. . . I'm having a problem. . . - 8/17/2008 11:25:45 AM
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GrowinBaptist
Posts: 28
Joined: 7/17/2008
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No, you are not alone in this issue. It's a part of being human. However, it sounds to me like the enemy is really trying to get you to compromise...and by the tone of your thread it appears to me (although I may be wrong) that you are weakening. No one can tell you what to do, of course. But I can tell you right now because of experience that the consequences of giving in are not worth it. And I personally don't think it has anything to do with being a virgin. You don't know what you're missing, unlike those who DO know. You are letting this get the better of you, and believe me, I understand completely.
First of all, you are looking too far into the future. Let your future of being married/not being married rest in the Lord's hands. And if you are wanting to be married so you can have sex without guilt, then you need to rewire your thinking. That is a bonus of marriage, not a reason to get married. I caught myself thinking this way as well at one point until the Lord showed me what I was doing.
You say that you have a very busy and full life. Rhetorical question: How are you busy? Are you busy serving the Lord in your church and community or are you busy with work and friends? Are your pursuits for the Lord or for yourself? Are you spending time daily the the Word? Are you regularly attending worship or are you allowing your schedule to interfere with church? Again from experience, if we are slacking in our spiritual life the enemy will find that opening and go sailing right in. He will do/say anything to get us from turning our attention from the Lord. You are listening way too much to your body. I know the temptation to let this run wild! I know exactly how you are feeling! However, you say that you are "frustrated" that you are sinning. If you are merely frustrated then you are not REPENTANT. You shouldn't be frustrated, but appalled at what you are considering. Pray for conviction, that the Lord will show you how repulsive this thinking is to Him. Sounds to me like the Lord is trying to answer your prayers for "peace" and "pure thoughts," but you keep allowing your mind to go right back to it all. Truly practicing this takes discipline, and you're not going to conquer this overnight. But keep trying, even if it means you have to start over every ten minutes!
One more thing...find someone with whom you can pray about this and be prayed for. If you don't want people to know the exact nature of your request, just write/say something like "unspoken." The Lord will know what they are praying about. This is a struggle for all humans. After all, the Lord made us this way. But I will warn you again about not waiting until you are married. Think of it this way...say you compromise and lose your virginity outside marriage and don't marry the person with whom you lost it. Down the road you meet a good, strong Godly man who you DO marry. Do you want that other person's face coming between you and your spouse at any time? Do you really want that memory? How do you want to answer your children when they ask you if you waited until you were married to have sex? How would you feel about your example to them if you have to answer no, like I do? Remember...it won't be about just you at some point. Give this to the Lord and don't take it back. Let Him take it from you and you, in turn, need to give your all to Him.
_____________________________
I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.
Phil. 4:13
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RE: um. . . I'm having a problem. . . - 8/17/2008 11:41:12 AM
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clag4christ
Posts: 2880
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: We just moved to the big state of Texas!
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Is it possible that these desires are God's way of telling you that maybe it's time to devote some of your time to finding a righteous Godly husband?
_____________________________
<-----Jael as Tinkerbell - Halloween 2008
If you don't want people to insult your intelligence; don't make it so obvious that you have none.
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RE: um. . . I'm having a problem. . . - 8/17/2008 1:48:54 PM
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nova86
Posts: 18
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GrowinBaptist, thanks for your long reply. I actually am not even considering losing my virginity out of wedlock. That is what has me so frustrated. I understand very well that I have no choice in this matter unless I choose to knowingly sin against God (not an option I am willing to choose). And yes, my life is very busy with God-centered activity. I am a youth leader at my church and that is where I have met most of my friends. I'd say that I spend most of my time thinking about God, and I try my hardest to spend real, quality time with Him every day. Not a day goes by when I am not in the Word/in prayer at some point. I am not saying this to pat myself on the back, but just to clear the air. Of course I know I am not perfect and that there are plenty of areas in my life where Satan can get in, and trust me I try very hard to deal with these issues in my life. On top of all this, there is no one to compromise my beliefs *with*, if you get what I mean (unless I grab a random guy on the street). I am not in a relationship, and for that I am glad since that would make my temptation much worse. I guess the point of my post was just to say, "Yeah, I'm struggling with this. What can I *do* to lessen the temptation?" Any advice about what to do when I am faced with this temptation or these thoughts? They kind of just. . . pop up in my head at random times. I need some kind of strategy. . . You say you have also struggled with this. How did you deal with it when the thoughts pop up out of nowhere?
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RE: um. . . I'm having a problem. . . - 8/17/2008 2:50:16 PM
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PrincessButtercup
Posts: 7115
Joined: 4/21/2007
From: not my home...
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Nova, I get this way myself sometimes. You're not alone in this. I'm interested in seeing more responses.
_____________________________
I need you more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up, Buttercup, don't break my heart...
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RE: um. . . I'm having a problem. . . - 8/17/2008 4:24:50 PM
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sharonjef2007
Posts: 788
Joined: 4/10/2007
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Is this the first time you are feeling this way? How long has it been going on?
The reason I ask is that the older I get, the more...uh...frisky I feel around ovulation time each month. Is it possible that ovulation is corresponding with the times you are feeling more desire? Our bodies are made to give us that urge more when we are fertile so that we can reproduce. That may explain why you get it for a few days, it gets better, then comes back.
Also, I just want to add that God made us to be sexual beings. He built that desire into us. There are a few out there who have the gift of singleness, but most do not. Your desires you are felling are perfectly normal. It is not really temptation until you have a dude who is trying to sleep with you or who you are trying to sleep with.
The desire is a good one, and you are soooo wise for waiting until marriage to have sex and that level of intimacy. Your desire is going to be a blessing to you and your future husband if it is God's will that you marry.
_____________________________
my blog......Finally, a new last name!.......
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RE: um. . . I'm having a problem. . . - 8/17/2008 4:38:34 PM
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GrowinBaptist
Posts: 28
Joined: 7/17/2008
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Oh, I'm still struggling with it! I think we all do to some extent. At first I just tried to ignore it or made myself busy instead of letting myself sit around and think about it, because that's what Satan would have us do. I found, though, that this approach didn't work very well because I wasn't truly dealing with it...meaning I wasn't giving it to the Lord. So that's what I do now. And I have found the more involved I get with church and praying the less it pops up. Believe me, the enemy knows this is as a weakness of mine, and if I let my guard down somewhere, then he'll dive right in.
BTW, I'm glad you are not thinking about compromising this. Maybe just the tone of your original thread and the level of frustration I sensed led me to that conclusion, and I am quite sorry for saying otherwise. To face this temptation is to go to the Word and pray every time it arises...anywhere and any time. The devil can't stand that stuff, and the reason he's pounding on you with this is he's trying so hard to get you to fall. Did you know that Satan has to ask the Lord's permission before tempting us? And the Lord always, always provides a way out...and that way is through Him. This is much easier said than done, believe me. But the instant these feelings pop up pray about it IMMEDIATELY. And mean it!  You'll find that the more you turn to the Lord instead of turning to the feelings you will have more control over them. Our sexuality is a part of being human, one of the strongest drives we have. But learn to control it and don't let it control you. The devil knows when your defenses are down and will fire away. These are your "random times." They are really not random at all. The Lord is allowing you to be tested to see how you'll handle it. Are you going to let your body and imagination run away with you....or are you going to turn to Him and let Him take it? Keep fighting! 
_____________________________
I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.
Phil. 4:13
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