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need some advice - 10/24/2008 12:02:58 PM
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gemini169
Posts: 1
Joined: 10/24/2008
Status: offline
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hello all, I'm gemini169. I got a question I've really need help with.
first of all let me tell you, I've been marryied for 5 years now one son and one on the way. My issue is this my wife doesn't trust my judgement in many issues concerning us. she wants to play both roles in the marrage. (when I speak of roles my meaning is this she wants to controll everything) I don't have a really sayso in anything, oh she would play like she checking with me, but when push come to shove its her controlling everything. Listen I'm not trying to take controll of my wife either I believe in the scriptures Ephesians 5:22-27, I also believe the wife is the help mate, but God did also say that men is head of the household. so with that what I've said going to my question if your spouse has no trust in your judgement what should the I do?
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RE: need some advice - 10/24/2008 12:33:53 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1946
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
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Welcome to the forum, Gemini!
A man's greatest need is for admiration; a woman's greatest needs are love and security. Maybe your wife feels insecure and is scrambling to make herself feel safer? Sit her down and just ask her, and hope she's been thinking about what she's feeling and will be honest with you.
Really, I'd talk to the pastor about this. A little marriage counseling can soothe a smarting wound.
All of us were lost in our sin when Jesus found us. Rom. 8: 28,29 tells us God brings us go through things so He can make us more like Jesus. It's a process and doesn't happen all at once (nor is it finished here - we won't be perfect until heaven). So there's a problem on your plate, and as you deal with it, God will be shaping you to become more Christ-like. He'll also be improving your marriage - what a deal!  So ask God for help, pray for your wife because she's struggling with something, check what you can do to make things better, find out how you can live in a more understanding way with your wife, and gently encourage your wife in her growth, too. It's a journey, and we love each other along the way, warts and all. And boy, do we all have warts (don't ask my husband - he'd tell you!  )
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: need some advice - 10/24/2008 3:14:45 PM
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RubySparkles
Posts: 245
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: United Kingdom
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Have you discussed your feelings with your wife?
_____________________________
Lord, all our success is because of what you have done, so give us peace.
Is 26:12
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RE: need some advice - 10/25/2008 2:19:25 AM
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Death_Venom
Posts: 30
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RubySparkles
Have you discussed your feelings with your wife?
I agree talk with your wife. Bear in mind that husbands are the head of the household "it takes to make things go right"........A little '80's advice for you there-LOL.
Moving along-......Marriage is a partnership-that is what it was always intended to be. To be quite honest my wife runs the house (kids are 50/50) I just live there and pay bills. Seriously it is not quite that simple-but in some ways it is.
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RE: need some advice - 10/27/2008 10:22:10 AM
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Simway
Posts: 59
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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Your wife seems to be insecure for some reason, and this is how she is handling it. I know it's not the best way, and she may very well need to talk with a concelor. How much susess that would bring is up to her. She would need to be open and honest and follow the advise given. If she holds anything back, the problem is still going to be there. Simway
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RE: need some advice - 10/27/2008 11:57:43 AM
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DeeAnnBailey
Posts: 2644
Joined: 3/23/2006
From: SC
Status: offline
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I agree with the above posts, most 'control freaks' are insecure and this is their way of coping. The same scriptures that tell the husband to be the head, tell him to love his wife as Christ loved the church - if you can practice this type of love, you are going to slowly move those insecurities away. Your love will give her security.
Also, why do you think she doesn't trust what you say, have you historically made bad choices that left her confused and/or anxious? If so, talk about this as well, why you made those choices and why you are better equiped to make good choices now.
_____________________________
D. Ann Bailey
My Blog Dee's Delights and Delusions
<<<<<<The love of my life - precious Erin!
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