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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/19/2009 9:42:25 PM
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heremainsfaithful
Posts: 180
Joined: 10/14/2009
From: Alabama
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I was kidding about the catnip. I would not do drugs/alcohol. I'm just trying to savor the vestigas of my tired out sense of humor.
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Jer. 29:11, II Tim. 2:13, Jude 24, 25
https://www2.xlibris.com/bookstore/bookdisplay.aspx?bookid=58896
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/20/2009 1:02:40 AM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4853
Joined: 4/11/2005
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heremainsfaithful, it's so good to see you here again! I wasn't sure we would. You seemed to have just disappeared after your previous posts. I agree with Manda. Please call your doctor. He/she needs to know what you're dealing with and there may be a way he/she can help you. You are NOT whiny and we are ALL weak. I understand the twisted comfort that suicide ideation brings. It's bizarre, isn't it? Please seek help! I don't know how much you've read of the posts before yours. My son took is life just over a week ago. He seemed fine to us and suddenly he was gone. SOMEONE NEEDS TO KNOW that you're struggling with this, more than us and more than your family.
It doesn't matter if you haven't been to church regularly. The pastor, if he's a good one, won't care. What he cares about is your well-being. He would be devastated to find out later, if you did take your life, how you'd been struggling but not told him. You MUST, MUST, MUST tell him and your doctor. Your husband too, if he doesn't know.
Molly, I'm glad you get to have your husband around a bit longer before he is deployed again. That's good news.
I've been extraordinarily tired. Slept for 14 hours today. I've been up for five hours and think I won't have trouble going to back to bed for the night. The grief hasn't hit yet, though I had the teeniest glimpse last night of the pain it will be when it comes. I'm not eager to go through it but at the same time I wish it would come so I could get it over with. We leave in a month for my ds4's wedding. I can't imagine getting much done between now and then and yet there are things that I have to do.
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Maggie
Civility Pledge
Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/20/2009 8:55:03 AM
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heremainsfaithful
Posts: 180
Joined: 10/14/2009
From: Alabama
Status: offline
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I am so sorry about your son. So sorry. I think I am going to call doc today, if just to start some therapy again. H will graduate in May, but we don't know about jobs or anything yet.
I used to be such a soft person. Now I feel hard around the edges or something. Anger comes more easily than tears, and I don't like that. I just read a journal entry I wrote awhile back talking about self versus God. I feel like I am still at that same place - a foot in each (actually, a toe in God and everything else in self).
There are so many going through things on here, and each of us need God's strength and each other's prayers. I'm glad there is a Christian place to go.
_____________________________
Jer. 29:11, II Tim. 2:13, Jude 24, 25
https://www2.xlibris.com/bookstore/bookdisplay.aspx?bookid=58896
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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/20/2009 9:39:19 AM
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PinkCarnations
Posts: 10784
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: heremainsfaithful
I am so sorry about your son. So sorry. I think I am going to call doc today, if just to start some therapy again.
Glad to hear that.
quote:
H will graduate in May, but we don't know about jobs or anything yet.
You have my prayers.
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I used to be such a soft person. Now I feel hard around the edges or something. Anger comes more easily than tears, and I don't like that. I just read a journal entry I wrote awhile back talking about self versus God. I feel like I am still at that same place - a foot in each (actually, a toe in God and everything else in self).
I think it's easy to get feeling that way about ourselves, but that doesn't mean it's true. Have you talked to others about what changes they've witnessed in your life? Sometimes they can give us a perspective that we can't see about ourselves.
quote:
There are so many going through things on here, and each of us need God's strength and each other's prayers. I'm glad there is a Christian place to go.
Me too.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/20/2009 10:52:51 AM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4853
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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HRF, I'm glad you're going to see your doctor. Please take care of yourself and do what you need to do to stay safe and well.
_____________________________
Maggie
Civility Pledge
Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/20/2009 11:42:57 PM
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Bountiful
Posts: 786
Joined: 12/15/2008
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HRF, glad you're calling your doctor.
I think feeling "hard around the edges" or angry is a form of defense mechanism. We feel so weak when our illness gets the best of us that I think we compensate by being "hard" or "angry" or stoic or non-feeling. At the time it seems better than feeling soft and helpless. Don't be too hard on yourelf. You're reaching out for help and that's what you should be doing.
Keeping you in my prayers.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/21/2009 6:10:15 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16640
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: online
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I am still dealing with a bout of anxiety. It always seems when I talk to someone who hasn't had this illness, that they just do not understand or get it at all.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/21/2009 7:00:04 AM
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IwillseekHim
Posts: 1757
Joined: 5/17/2009
Status: online
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You're right, humbleinspirit. Many people just do not understand those who are anxious. Sometimes I think I am not happy unless I am miserable worrying about something. Does that even make sense???
I am very thankful for forums such as this. I hope that you have a better day. Do you feel like you have been in a constant state of anxiety, or does it come and go in waves? Do you know what the source of your anxiety is, is it one particular thing or a combination of a few? I do believe that whatever it is, God can help you with it. I remind myself quite a bit that with Him on my side, I have nothing to fear. I think my anxiety comes alot from being fearful. I fight against that alot because doesn't the bible say He does not give us a spirit of fear? If it is not from Him then it must be from the enemy. I believe wholeheartedly that our enemy roams about seeking who he can destroy. When I am anxious, I feel like that is the enemy trying to steal my peace and joy. That is what drives me to pray, to praise and to tell the enemy to flee and take the anxiety with him. We are children of the Living God, may you be reminded of that today. God bless.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/21/2009 7:03:27 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16640
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: online
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Good Morning Iwillseekhim! Lately it seems to be rather constant, that and my sensitivity to noise has been getting to me too. The anxiety does seem to have its highs and lows though.
Last night I was talking to a well meaning and good friend who just did not get as to why I was anxious. I told them I just am and they literally said I do not understand.
Iwillseekhim, I hope that things go better for you too.
Blessings,
Mike
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/21/2009 7:13:57 AM
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IwillseekHim
Posts: 1757
Joined: 5/17/2009
Status: online
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I know about the sensitivity to noise, too. When I am anxious, everything around me feels more sensitive and heightened to a larger degree. Did I read somewhere it was affecting your work, too? I struggle more at my job. I literally have went from loving my work to not wanting to be there. I have to make myself go sometimes and I hate that. I think this also has to do with being bipolar, I go from one extreme to the other.
Today is looking like a good day. It's Saturday so I am off. LOL. Hubby has come home from being out of town with his work. Kid's sleeping. I am gonna do my very best to have a good day and hope that you can do the same.
Speaking to those who can not understand your anxiety probally just makes ya more anxious! However, you have us. And, even more importantly you have God. Blessings to you, too, brother.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/21/2009 7:18:32 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 16640
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: online
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Honestly, it just makes me more annoyed. There is this attitude of just snap out of it! Well the fact of the matter is you can't! Its like tides of the ocean, it has to gradually change, but doesn't usually instantly at all. I did look up the noise sensitivity on the internet and it said that bipolar contributes to it among other things. I am doing ok at the moment, but work can be hard sometimes.
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 11/21/2009 5:35:54 PM
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agapetos
Posts: 9722
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
Status: online
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Manda ~ thanks for posting about my having 'puter problems.
Going through all the posts and catching up as I go, so forgive me if I repeat myself or ask something that's been answered...
quote:
I hope she's not undergoing Internet Posting Withdrawal. Nope, didn't miss it at all (missed some people, but not really forums)... I do like your new name Mollymouser. Do you prefer 'Mollymouser' or are you ok with 'Molly'?
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Just curious if anyone is familiar with borderline personality disorder? Rawr.Ben ~ I've just been diagnosed with it.
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But, I was wondering if anyone has any personal experience that I can gleam some more wisdom off of? Such as?
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I have heard of it, from the very little that I understand of it, the person with this identity is not complete unless they are with someone. IOW, if they are alone, then they are not themselves because part of them is missing. That's not strictly true. There are different traits of BPD, one of which (and it's not one I have) is a fear of (real or imagined) abandonment ~ and because of this they make efforts to avoid that abandonment.
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However when I put it up for a vote from my friends a few years ago, overwhelmingly people told me to keep the Humbleinspirit name! If you want to change your name, you should (within reason). I have serious problems with someone changing their name because they're having a bad day and their new name reflects that ~ ie, if you went from 'humbleinspirit' to 'worthless', I'd have problems because while you may feel that (right now), you're also a creation of God and God don't make mistakes. However, I probably wouldn't comment on it (though I also probably wouldn't address you by it either!). I think as we learn and grow, a new name may be appropriate. I just haven't ever figured one out for myself before now!
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Me? I've had to report my ex. Again. Twice. Desert_rose ~ uggle. I'm so sorry. I'm glad that you felt able to report him though and that those involved in his care know that he's lied to them about being able to contact you.
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Ugh. Court all day tomorrow. This had BETTER settle it. I am *so* tired of dealing with him. I hope that it is settled by now (responding to posts as I read them).
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To try to avoid that, I lower my expectations of others. I suppose that's a very jaded way to look at things.
Bountiful, it's not jaded, it's *sensible* and *realistic*. It releases us from trying to make others come through for us and meet our needs (when really only God can meet our needs), releases us from disappointment. It also releases other people to be who they are, not who we want them to be. I agree, it's not jaded. My expectations of some people (in my life) have changed over the past few years. It is unrealistic of me to expect them to react in a way that would be positive for me. I no longer accept it. I don't share certain details of my life with them because of it. Instead, I turn to people who do have a positive influence on my life for support.
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I just guess I didn't think it would be expecting too much of her to inform her children that she was adopting a teenager. But she moved house and didn't tell anyone her new address, nor contact anyone for a long time, as I recall. Isn't this just the way she behaves?
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I'd like to speak to the sisters who tried reassuring me last week that I should feel "honored" for the dead "gifts" this cat is presenting me with lately. Well, I don't feel honored yet. Hmmm... so you'd rather have a dead mouse or rat running around your house instead of being dead huh? Rather you than me!
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Stovie, Stovie, what am I going to do with you!
Maggie
September 09
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