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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/2/2009 7:13:00 AM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 5151
Joined: 12/30/2007
From: Inside my head
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: teacher1982
quote:
Many times we must change the way we think and feel in order for our lives to be different. If we refuse to be thankful about where we are, why would God give us more? If we insist on telling God exactly what our job is why would we expect Him to do anything but sit back and wait for our attitude to change?
Paul endured some really miserable circumstances (worse even than any of us )...but he didn't hate his life no matter what was going on. He learned to be content in all circumstances. Speaking of Paul - talk about someone who was asked to be something very much other than what he thought he was made for. He thought he was perfectly suited for persecuting Christ followers. Turns out he was very wrong about what his job was. Can you imagine Paul sitting down and staying there blind in the road and saying he was now a Christian hunter out of a job?
I think we're comparing apples and oranges. It's obvious what God's will for Paul was and he accepted it. I know what my life's calling is, but the devil hindered and destroyed it. God didn't. The devil did. And it DOES leave me without a job.
There is NO WAY it was God's will for my ex to do what he did. God doesn't want or plan for people to leave Him and go out into open sin. However, when someone does that, he leaves behind a path of damage and destruction. (free will, remember?)
Back to the OP question - No, I'm not bitter or angry, just sad and lonesome, lonely and groundless. I no longer grieve for him, but I do grieve for his soul. I no longer want him to come back to me, but I sure want him to go back to God. I feel sorry for his children, grandchildren and parents, who he has hurt so much, but there's nothing that I can do to help them feel better except pray.
Meanwhile, I am trying to piece together some sort of life. Is it God's will for me to be single? Absolutely NOT! I know that without a doubt, but God doesn't make people live right and do what they are supposed to do. (free will again).
You are still grieving your life and what "should have been". That's understandable and perfectly normal. Know that there are others who have had the same (or worse) happen to them. Many of us have been very angry that someone else was permitted to wreak havoc in our lives.
I don't know how long you've been single now but, hang in there. God would change you through this and conform you more closely to the image of His Son. This can be a very productive time spiritually for you. God really does work ALL THINGS together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. No matter what's been done, God changes what was meant for evil and turns it to our good...if we let Him.
Feel free to PM me if you wish...I think I could have written your posts myself four or five years ago. There are others here, too, who can no doubt relate to what you're going through. In any case, keep posting. There is healing and fellowship here.
_____________________________
I will admit that the Lion is, in general, weird.
~Kerrlaw~
People of Character
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/3/2009 1:45:05 AM
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ForgivenGrace
Posts: 8477
Joined: 5/11/2005
From: Wherever God plants me.
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: allisonbrett
Hello singles!
I have a Christian friend of mine who has never married. He spent quite a number of years working through drug addiction but has been clean and sober for a few years now. Today, at 50 he is very bitter, angry and resentful that he's never been married yet sees so many others go through multiple divorces it makes him crazy. He's judgmental on other singles especially if one is divorced and has children. He's very particular in the fact that he doesn't want a woman whose been divorced much less more than once with children by different fathers. He sees these women as having too much baggage and undesirable. When he complains and he does frequently I try to encourage him to let it go but he insists on hanging on to it.
Do you struggle with such negative emotions at your single status?
Sound just like a man I want to date. This man who is not perfect is expecting perfection and there is no such thing.
No I am not bitter or angry. I may yearn (sp?) for someone once in a while but that about it.
_____________________________
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
~Dr. Seuss
Formally known as saraimay75
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/3/2009 11:13:44 PM
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Enoch195
Posts: 92
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline
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I don't think I am bitter and angry but I have those moments when I wonder
what it would be like to not be single and I do yearn to eventually married.
However, I realize that as a single, I have more time to do certain things
such as missions/travelling that I would not have a chance to do if I were
even dating.
_____________________________
Don't be sappy.. be happy.
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/4/2009 12:52:40 PM
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WilliamtheConqueror
Posts: 165
Joined: 7/31/2009
Status: offline
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The scripture tells us about Jepthah's daughter, however she had a more serious problem. Judges
...and there is Jeremiah.
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/4/2009 1:09:00 PM
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Elena1030
Posts: 2578
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Music City, USA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WilliamtheConqueror
The scripture tells us about Jepthah's daughter, however she had a more serious problem. Judges
Judges 11:29-40 to be precise.
And... what particular truth were you desiring to point us to?
quote:
...and there is Jeremiah.
Um, yes, an entire book named after him. So....... ?
Hmm... I am curious: what good counsel do you advise we should take from these persons' lives (or, as in Jephthah's daughter's case, the episode from the person's life)? I'm not sure why you brought them up in particular.
_____________________________
Prayer thread for singles who desire to marry someday
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/4/2009 3:26:09 PM
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trainfan
Posts: 3074
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: The land of confusion
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: blueeyedgirl2
quote:
ORIGINAL: shemaromans
God had Ezekiel lay (or lie) on his left side for 360 days. After that, God had Ezekiel lay (or lie) on his right side for 40 more days. God also had him prepare his bread on cow dung during that time. 
God allowed Joseph's brothers to sell him into captivity.
God allowed Satan to torment Job repeatedly.
Come to think of it, God sent his only son to be tormented, ridiculed, beaten, scorned, rejected, and crucified on the cross...for us...
Whether I'm to be single indefinitely or permanently, I want to live like Paul--a singleton--lived:
In chains in prison,
"For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you....Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
This deserves stars! Beautifully said, Shema. You made me tear up just a tad. I pray that those of above verses will remain the cries of my heart as I wait. . . 
It does deserve stars. It and one of Shallbe's post got them.
_____________________________
Disappoints are inevitable, discouragment is a choice.
Dr. Charles Stanley.
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/4/2009 4:36:32 PM
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blueeyedgirl2
Posts: 3019
Joined: 8/31/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: trainfan
quote:
ORIGINAL: blueeyedgirl2
quote:
ORIGINAL: shemaromans
God had Ezekiel lay (or lie) on his left side for 360 days. After that, God had Ezekiel lay (or lie) on his right side for 40 more days. God also had him prepare his bread on cow dung during that time.
God allowed Joseph's brothers to sell him into captivity.
God allowed Satan to torment Job repeatedly.
Come to think of it, God sent his only son to be tormented, ridiculed, beaten, scorned, rejected, and crucified on the cross...for us...
Whether I'm to be single indefinitely or permanently, I want to live like Paul--a singleton--lived:
In chains in prison,
"For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you....Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
This deserves stars! Beautifully said, Shema. You made me tear up just a tad. I pray that those of above verses will remain the cries of my heart as I wait. . .
It does deserve stars. It and one of Shallbe's post got them.
Thank you, moderator!
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/5/2009 7:39:51 AM
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rgod
Posts: 1877
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
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trainfan - glad to see that you are a moderator! Congrats - Fritz made a good choice :)
And now to keep it on topic:
I've been single all of my life. I've had many many times (especially when I was in my late 20s and early 30s) when I was on "melt-down mode" - bitter and angry about being single, wanting so desperately to be married. I blamed myself - thought I was too ugly, too fat, too nerdy, too intimidating, or was somehow just unattractive to men. I've cycled through the range of emotions many times. Bitterness - Anger - Fear - Contentment - Joy and back again. There have been times when I've raged at God for making me be single, times when I was glad that I was single, times when I was just content.
Then, the Lord revealed to me exactly why I wasn't married. The Lord clearly told me that marriage any sooner would have destroyed me. He revealed inner vows that I made that needed to be renounced. You see, at the time, I had so many wounds and hurts, that I wouldn't have been able to handle everything that comes along with a marriage relationship in a healthy way. Heaps of married people are unhealthy emotionally, many of them end up divorced. I had prayed for a healthy marriage that honored God and for a husband of integrity; but to have that, I needed to be restored.
After I was healed emotionally, I was strong enough to date, I saw that I was avoiding the unhealthy relationships and patterns that my friends were falling into. But I still wasn't letting men get too close to me. I'd decided that maybe this was the way it was going to be, I didn't like it, but would accept it and be content. Then God started sending all of these people to me, who didn't know each other, to tell me that they felt that they were having dreams and visions and hearing from God during prayer time that I would be married and that my husband was coming. None of them even knew that I wanted to be married (except one) - 'cause I don't talk about it much. Well. It was exciting to hear all of that, but I wanted action. Days turned into weeks, turned into months, maybe will turn into years. More cycles of up and down, content and discontent - being afraid to believe God on this - driving those who were really close to me crazy with my incessant worrying.
Then I realized that no matter what we seek or desire, after we get it eventually becomes routine - with the exception of God. Every other earthly thing brings along its own set of problems and joys. And nothing or no one satisfies like God. When I get married, there will be'a whole other set of issues to deal with and joys to experience. I realized that, now is a good time to practice being content, to get into the habit of being thankful for exactly what I have right now. I have friends and family. I have a house. I have time and freedom. I have opportunities to get education. I have health. And mostly, I have the Lord who meets all of my needs. I am learning to be content no matter what circumstance while being open to change. I'm excited about the man to come - (and men are coming out of the woodwork - goodness - where have they been hiding?) But mostly, I am excited about my life right now too. I didn't ever think I'd get to this place, but God brought me to contentment, and he used the periods of bitterness and discontentment to do it.
_____________________________
The Way Out Is In
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/5/2009 8:12:38 AM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 4088
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
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That post needs stars. rgod, what you have written, I could've written, though you did a much better job. I too have gone through times where I deeply desired to be married, but was so not ready. Marriage at those times would have been disastrous, and God saved me from that. But then I went through a time of healing and restoration. What was really interesting is that when I finally felt I was truly ready to marry, I had a personal crisis at home, and went through another melt-down. Yay! Another crisis to face alone.  Maybe I was just being stubborn or fearful... I don't know. But no matter what, my faith in Him did not falter. There are so many blessings in my life right now that I can hardly contain myself. I know that He is looking out for me, knows my desires to someday marry, and has wonderful plans for me. I just have to be open to His leading, not knowing what that may be.
_____________________________
New Blog Posts: http://encouragement4life.blogspot.com/
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/5/2009 8:43:55 AM
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ames01
Posts: 76
Joined: 5/11/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
And now to keep it on topic:
I've been single all of my life. I've had many many times (especially when I was in my late 20s and early 30s) when I was on "melt-down mode" - bitter and angry about being single, wanting so desperately to be married. I blamed myself - thought I was too ugly, too fat, too nerdy, too intimidating, or was somehow just unattractive to men. I've cycled through the range of emotions many times. Bitterness - Anger - Fear - Contentment - Joy and back again. There have been times when I've raged at God for making me be single, times when I was glad that I was single, times when I was just content.
Then, the Lord revealed to me exactly why I wasn't married. The Lord clearly told me that marriage any sooner would have destroyed me. He revealed inner vows that I made that needed to be renounced. You see, at the time, I had so many wounds and hurts, that I wouldn't have been able to handle everything that comes along with a marriage relationship in a healthy way. Heaps of married people are unhealthy emotionally, many of them end up divorced. I had prayed for a healthy marriage that honored God and for a husband of integrity; but to have that, I needed to be restored.
After I was healed emotionally, I was strong enough to date, I saw that I was avoiding the unhealthy relationships and patterns that my friends were falling into. But I still wasn't letting men get too close to me. I'd decided that maybe this was the way it was going to be, I didn't like it, but would accept it and be content. Then God started sending all of these people to me, who didn't know each other, to tell me that they felt that they were having dreams and visions and hearing from God during prayer time that I would be married and that my husband was coming. None of them even knew that I wanted to be married (except one) - 'cause I don't talk about it much. Well. It was exciting to hear all of that, but I wanted action. Days turned into weeks, turned into months, maybe will turn into years. More cycles of up and down, content and discontent - being afraid to believe God on this - driving those who were really close to me crazy with my incessant worrying.
Then I realized that no matter what we seek or desire, after we get it eventually becomes routine - with the exception of God. Every other earthly thing brings along its own set of problems and joys. And nothing or no one satisfies like God. When I get married, there will be'a whole other set of issues to deal with and joys to experience. I realized that, now is a good time to practice being content, to get into the habit of being thankful for exactly what I have right now. I have friends and family. I have a house. I have time and freedom. I have opportunities to get education. I have health. And mostly, I have the Lord who meets all of my needs. I am learning to be content no matter what circumstance while being open to change. I'm excited about the man to come - (and men are coming out of the woodwork - goodness - where have they been hiding?) But mostly, I am excited about my life right now too. I didn't ever think I'd get to this place, but God brought me to contentment, and he used the periods of bitterness and discontentment to do it.
This is very encouraging to me today. Thanks for sharing!
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/5/2009 11:54:03 AM
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SouthernBelleNC
Posts: 1
Joined: 11/5/2009
Status: offline
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I get angry about being single when I want to go somewhere, do something, etc. but have no one to do these things w/. Couples I know(married or dating), appear to have it made. They are the ones who are really experiencing life. Couples in my family get together for dinner, movies, concerts, etc. They do fun stuff by themselves as a couple. The ladies in the family will get together and do kid-friendly stuff, the men in the family will get together and do guy things. Then there is me, who isn't even dating and I am being left out unless family members want me to babysit so they can go out.
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/5/2009 12:06:28 PM
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jhuperetes
Posts: 1551
Status: offline
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I tend to get frustrated when I want to do something, and I cannot because I am single.
I would love to get a nice seat at a restaurant, at a play, or opera. Good luck if buying a single ticket. Might as well be a leper.
I lamented about cruises and such, but there are similar in resorts and various programs.
Oh well. 
quote:
ORIGINAL: SouthernBelleNC
I get angry about being single when I want to go somewhere, do something, etc. but have no one to do these things w/. Couples I know(married or dating), appear to have it made. They are the ones who are really experiencing life. Couples in my family get together for dinner, movies, concerts, etc. They do fun stuff by themselves as a couple. The ladies in the family will get together and do kid-friendly stuff, the men in the family will get together and do guy things. Then there is me, who isn't even dating and I am being left out unless family members want me to babysit so they can go out.
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/5/2009 12:17:31 PM
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dnp200450
Posts: 595
Joined: 5/30/2009
Status: offline
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No one wants to be the 3rd-wheel. Yes many activities are designed for couples in mind not for singles.
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/5/2009 12:48:47 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 7654
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline
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I don't know a whole lot of events that are for "couples only" maybe a "couples retreat" or a conference for married people, but things like movies, theatre, dinner...stuff like that can be done as a single with a group of married people.
If you need two people to participate ask a friend. I play Bunko every month and every 8 months we have couples Bunko. I am the only single person in the group but I always have a friend come with me, and they always have a great time.
_____________________________
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/5/2009 2:53:45 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 1332
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
But I am choosing to accept what God is doing in my life. I can learn to like it because it is HE Who has ordained it. And I will continue to daily accept it as best I can until that changes or I die.
quote:
Shallbe: This is an area that I disagree on. I do not believe that God ordained me to have the horrible life that I have. I don't know WHY I have it, but the God I serve did not give it to me. If HE did, I wouldn't love him very much because that would make Him a mean Father, not a loving Father.
teacher, I want to be very, very gentle here…and I don’t want to get too OT. On the other hand, I have to say something about this.
When I was going similar times in my life, I considered abandoning my faith. If God was allowing me to go through this, then He wasn’t a very good God, yadda, yadda. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized there was nowhere else to go. IF free will brought me where I am, then Free Will is stronger than the god I serve, and the god I serve is a pantywaist. If the devil brought me where I am, and the god I serve had nothing to do with it, then the god I serve is not god…the Devil is.
It’s just logic. Do the math.
I realized that either God is God, and He is in control of everything, and He is good no matter what my life looks like OR…He is not God. Those are the only options.
And believing that God is good no matter what is true faith…it is “the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen”.
The God I serve is so awesomely strong that He is in control of even the Devil, and in the end He will make GOOD out of everything evil that ever happened, and bring to justice every last true injustice, and give the Devil and every evil person exactly, precisely and abundantly what they deserve. I have decided to TRUST that God has the victory and will manifest it in the end. Since I live for His glory only, and not for my own ideas of what my life should look like, then I am joyful because HE will get the glory in the end, both from the good things that happen to me, and the bad things.
The God I serve is not one who sat by looking on and wringing his hands saying “oh, no. Oh, dear. Shallbe’s husband is about to be killed by the free will of that truck driver who isn’t paying attention because his brain cells are fried from drug use. Oh, I love them all so much but there’s nothing I can do. Bummer! oh, my. I’ll have to change all my plans for her and the kids…oh, driver! Yes, you…please listen! There’s a guy…no…stop…don’t…*crash*”.
Uh-uh.
The God I serve is the one who knew from before the foundations of the world the precise day, time and method of not only my own husband’s death but of every person who was or will ever be born. The God I serve was in control of the moment my husband left the house on his bike, the exact speed he was traveling, the two drivers whose attention was distracted just the right amount, the truck that struck my husband with the precise amount of force to kill him, the God that welcomed my husband into his presence at that moment, assuring him that grace was even at that moment being extended to his wife and children so that they could cope with his homegoing. THAT’S my God.
And that’s the God that is in control of every moment of my singleness since. Because He is in control, I believe I will not be single one moment longer than is necessary for Him to get the maximum amount of glory out of it. And His glory is my goal.
BTW, Every time I think my life sucks, I go visit persecution.com. It changes my perspective. These people are praising GOD for what HE is doing in their lives…and what He is allowing is persecution and suffering!!!
I also go read Job. I sound a lot like Job when I’m feeling this way…it helps to know that God ordained everything Job went through, and not as a punishment for Job, but just to show His glory, and that God understood Job even when Job was railing at Him.
shallbe
_____________________________
has decided that the command against forsaking the assembling of ourselves together shall henceforth be considered satisfied when she wakes up each morning and finds that all her body parts are still assembled...
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/5/2009 3:02:36 PM
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teacher1982
Posts: 190
Joined: 10/11/2009
Status: offline
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Yep, I agree with SouthernBelleNC, jhuperetes and dnp200450. And for me, I once had it. I had a companion, a Christian home, we did everything together, we went to church, we ate out every week with our friends, we visited both families, we went on weekend trips, we both loved Gospel concerts and went to everyone that we could. We loved the same foods, movies and everything else. We sat on the couch together and held hands as we watched TV. I waited at the door every evening for him to come home. He called me several times a day just to talk. I can't think of a couple that was happier and more compatible. My dream and prayers had come true. We were ONE and were totally bonded. I never dreamed that what happened to us, would have ever happened. (long story). So now, over three years later, I still miss my other half. I wait for him to come home. My first thought and last thought each and every day is of him. I sleep with five pillows behind my back. I'm missing out on life because the things we did are so hard to be done by myself. I have tried and they are tormenting because "he" isn't with me. So either I enjoy being where I'm at for a little while and then hurt something horribly because he's not with me. OR I miss out completely.
I have actually gone to gospel concerts by myself - which I love - and enjoyed them tremendously. They were like Heaven on earth. Then when I walked out of the coliseum, my knees would actually buckle from the pain of being alone. Having to walk to my car and drive to an empty house. Or go to my empty motel room if I went out of town. The pain was truly close to being unbearable.
Every single day is like that. Over 1400 days have been like this if I include the troubled days and the separation. 1400 days of my life has been lost, empty and full of pain. And today is just like the first day - No, it's worse, because then I was in denial and shock. Now I feel the full hurt of it all. Every single day - minute, and hour. I feel like my heart has been torn out of my chest and my right arm cut off and I'm bleeding.
I have given up on him coming back. I have tried to find a life without him. I would love to meet someone just to be a friend and do things with. I know not to talk about "us" or my life with "him". But seems like I can't even meet anyone to begin with. It's not that I meet someone and then run them off. I just don't meet anyone at all.
Regardless of what people say about "becoming my own person" or whatever. I need a companion. I said it before and I'll say it again: I'm a wife without a job. That is my life's calling and it was stolen from me.
(Talk about being brutally honest! But this is how I feel!)
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/5/2009 3:19:15 PM
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CoeurdeLeon
Posts: 5151
Joined: 12/30/2007
From: Inside my head
Status: offline
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Shallbe, that was a rockin' awesome post! I hope you get stars upon stars for it.
I especially like this part...truer words were never typed.
quote:
ORIGINAL: ShallbeRebuilt
IF free will brought me where I am, then Free Will is stronger than the god I serve, and the god I serve is a pantywaist. If the devil brought me where I am, and the god I serve had nothing to do with it, then the god I serve is not god…the Devil is.
It’s just logic. Do the math.
I realized that either God is God, and He is in control of everything, and He is good no matter what my life looks like OR…He is not God. Those are the only options.
_____________________________
I will admit that the Lion is, in general, weird.
~Kerrlaw~
People of Character
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/6/2009 7:04:44 AM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 1332
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline
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Thanks, CDL.
And I appreciate the stars.
I'm preaching to myself as much as to anyone else! lol!
shallbe
_____________________________
has decided that the command against forsaking the assembling of ourselves together shall henceforth be considered satisfied when she wakes up each morning and finds that all her body parts are still assembled...
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/6/2009 8:12:27 AM
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teacher1982
Posts: 190
Joined: 10/11/2009
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I believe in Free Will, and it is God-given Free Will. God wants us to choose Him, but He doesn't make us. He has ALL power, but He still does not make us choose Him or live according to His commandments. He does not design every single step of our lives. If He did, then we wouldn't have Free Will. Therefore, my Free Will IS stronger than God in a way because that is what FREE WILL is. Choosing to follow God or not. God tells us, guides us through His Word. If we decide not to follow, He allows us to do what we want to. I am sure that it grieves Him, but He allows us to do what we want to do. That is what makes him Omnipresent. God wouldn't be the God that He is if he MADE us do what He wanted us to do.
The devil does not have more power than God, but he certainly influences us to do "our own thing" and to also go against God.
There are THREE "wills" in our lives. God's Will, OUR will, and the devil's will. MOST of the time, people do what is THEIR OWN will. Sometimes it goes against God's will it follows the temptations of the devil.
BUT, when bad things happen to us, we can not and should not say it is God's Will. MY God doesn't do bad things to His children, no more than I would do bad things to my children.
So.....in answer to ShallBe, I have to say that God did NOT bring me where I am at the present time. I made choices and my ex made choices (since we are talking about being single). I knew God's commandments and so did my ex. We both chose, at different times, to follow our own wills. And to be blunt about it, my ex chose to to follow the devil's will. Where I disagree with ShallBe is that things that happen to us is ALWAYS God's will.
In the end, we are doing what is OUR will and it depends on who we are listening to and following. But God does NOT guide our every single second decision for our entire lives. He gave His Word to guide us and then He leaves us alone to chose to follow it or not.
It may comfort people in times of heartache, trouble, sickness and griefs to say "this is God's will", but I reject that. Too many situations are caused by the devil or by the person's will (choices). I refuse to attribute the state of my life right now to God. I wouldn't serve a God that would do these things to me. I would feel like He hated me if He chose this for my life and did all these horrible things to me. The God I serve is LOVE. The God I serve comforts and helps me. But the God I serve would NEVER be mean and cruel and hurtful to me.
< Message edited by teacher1982 -- 11/6/2009 8:18:41 AM >
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/6/2009 8:54:16 AM
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Katie-Scarlet
Posts: 250
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
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Who says you have to do things by yourself. Groups of friends can get together and do things together and hang out just like married couples do. I'm sure married friends at times bail out on the others just as a single persons friend would. Most television shows and well horror movies are about groups of friends going somewhere and doing something together, hanging out. This may be a bad example given the horror lol ...but when have you ever seen a horror movie about a bunch of married people getting a cabin in the woods and being hacked to death. Death aside its about a group of single people doing things together.
Get out volunteer, make somes friends and plan trips toether, dinner parties etc. My bestfriend who is now passed on still hung out with me after she was married. I don't have a problem hanging out with couples. We still did things together. Who says you can't hang out with married people. If they don't invite you then you be the hostess initiate an outing or a dinner party where they come to you.
There are plenty of ways to make new friends if you don't have any, join a cooking class or a woodshop class, a gardening class (I think they do stuff like that at home depot) take a class that interest you whatever. Or hey why not create your own singles group that plans trips and such. Advertise it on Christian radio, christian magazines. If there aren't any singles groups around start one. You don't need your church to get singles together. You can be the one to get it going. Look up singles events in your area online. Volunteer at a christian singles organization to get the ins and outs of the process and start your own.
You will be so busy you won't have time to worry about being alone.
_____________________________
Satans job is 24hrs 365 days a year and he never takes lunch, vacation or has a sick day.
Are you ready to join the war? Know your enemy, prepare yourself.
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RE: Bitter or angry about being single? - 11/6/2009 1:08:39 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 1332
Joined: 11/8/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: teacher1982
I believe in Free Will, and it is God-given Free Will. God wants us to choose Him, but He doesn't make us. He has ALL power, but He still does not make us choose Him or live according to His commandments. He does not design every single step of our lives. If He did, then we wouldn't have Free Will. Therefore, my Free Will IS stronger than God in a way because that is what FREE WILL is. Choosing to follow God or not. God tells us, guides us through His Word. If we decide not to follow, He allows us to do what we want to. I am sure that it grieves Him, but He allows us to do what we want to do. That is what makes him Omnipresent. God wouldn't be the God that He is if he MADE us do what He wanted us to do.
The devil does not have more power than God, but he certainly influences us to do "our own thing" and to also go against God.
There are THREE "wills" in our lives. God's Will, OUR will, and the devil's will. MOST of the time, people do what is THEIR OWN will. Sometimes it goes against God's will it follows the temptations of the devil.
BUT, when bad things happen to us, we can not and should not say it is God's Will. MY God doesn't do bad things to His children, no more than I would do bad things to my children.
So.....in answer to ShallBe, I have to say that God did NOT bring me where I am at the present time. I made choices and my ex made choices (since we are talking about being single). I knew God's commandments and so did my ex. We both chose, at different times, to follow our own wills. And to be blunt about it, my ex chose to to follow the devil's will. Where I disagree with ShallBe is that things that happen to us is ALWAYS God's will.
In the end, we are doing what is OUR will and it depends on who we are listening to and following. But God does NOT guide our every single second decision for our entire lives. He gave His Word to guide us and then He leaves us alone to chose to follow it or not.
It may comfort people in times of heartache, trouble, sickness and griefs to say "this is God's will", but I reject that. Too many situations are caused by the devil or by the person's will (choices). I refuse to attribute the state of my life right now to God. I wouldn't serve a God that would do these things to me. I would feel like He hated me if He chose this for my life and did all these horrible things to me. The God I serve is LOVE. The God I serve comforts and helps me. But the God I serve would NEVER be mean and cruel and hurtful to me.
Teacher, you'll have to back all that up with scripture. I stand on what I said before, having studied carefully God's power and His action in our lives from the perspective of scripture. Love is not always sweetness, mercy and light, but is also discipline and justice. I know this because I'm a mom as well as from scripture.
After reading your posts, which I would rate excellent for transparency, I would guess that a proper understanding of love may help you avoid further pain in your life.
Since a discussion of the theological principle of the Sovereignty of God and the doctrines of grace is not the topic of this thread, I invite you and anyone else interested over to my PFY, Shallbe's Batty Belfry where a fuller conversation of the subject is always welcome.
shallbe
_____________________________
has decided that the command against forsaking the assembling of ourselves together shall henceforth be considered satisfied when she wakes up each morning and finds that all her body parts are still assembled...
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