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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/1/2008 10:33:42 AM
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lexie
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quote:
That's a weird term....
You know I had never heard the term until I came here, and I've since wondered, does it only apply to having your own children?
We know how many biological children we would like. However, when we're done, we would like to grow our family by adoption and fostering. So I could end up with more children than someone who is QF, but not be QF?
Does it only apply to biological children?
(Just a question, not a debate in any way, it's just because I had never heard the term before.)
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/1/2008 12:29:58 PM
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csl7037
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lexie
quote:
That's a weird term....
You know I had never heard the term until I came here, and I've since wondered, does it only apply to having your own children?
We know how many biological children we would like. However, when we're done, we would like to grow our family by adoption and fostering. So I could end up with more children than someone who is QF, but not be QF?
Does it only apply to biological children?
(Just a question, not a debate in any way, it's just because I had never heard the term before.)
Good question!
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/1/2008 12:46:02 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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For the purposes of THIS thread, I am using the term QF to simply refer to people who do not believe in any birth control whatsoever. Some people like that are anti adoption, and some still believe in adoption, but I don't really consider that aspect of it a necessary part of this thread (although Ryanne telling about her in laws adopting was fine)...I am just saying that since a definition was asked for the definition for this thread is simply being opposed to birth control or being opposed to all types except family planning..regardless of one's views of adoption.
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/1/2008 1:37:52 PM
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kohls356
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No my parents weren't. I don't even think that term was around when I was growing up. We are not qf.
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/1/2008 1:44:19 PM
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Sideways
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My grandparents were Catholic, and they only believed in the rhythm method. My parents were not QF and neither are we.
My impression was that amongst mainstream Protestants, the QF movement is rather new. Birth control as we know it today is still relatively new, although people have had ways to try and prevent conception for thousands of years.
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/1/2008 2:03:54 PM
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3cappuccinosmom
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My parents are not QF. It was simply not a concept in their family--from a long line of medical doctors and "culturally normal" Americans.  They are both from families with 4 children but in my dad's family they were planned and spaced according to plan and then "done" and in my mom's case, her mother said outright the younger three were "mistakes". When they married, they were both angry agnostics and so the subject of the spiritual aspects of birth control was last on their list of things to deal with. By their late forties, they had become devout Catholics and thus NFP-only (or sterilization in the case of severe risk to the mother). I suppose they were "mandatorily" QF during our stint in the cult, but later on I learned that they know the community had no problem with birth control and sterilization if the leaders decided a particular couple needed it (and yes, they know of least one incident of coerced sterilization  , one of the many reasons they found to leave), so perhaps my folks were using bc there too. They haven't told me.
What my parents did instill in me is that children are blessings, that abortion is wrong, and that abortifacient means of family planning are so abhorrent that they were willing to risk their jobs as doctors by refusing to prescribe hormonal and IUD birth control. I am confident that I will never hear them whining about dh and I having "too many" children. They know we hope to have many children, and they happily share that hope with us, rather than try to dissuade us. I think they have been just as surprised as us that our QF lifestyle has not resulted in a baby every year, and that I am not almost 19 months postpartum and still not pregnant again. 
My dh's parents were QF, although they wouldn't know what that term meant. His father was one of the few native evangelists in their area who persistently refused birth control from Western missionaries and spoke out against their two-child, westernized ideal of family planning. Dh is one of 10 (one child adopted recently) and he grew up seeing his parents consistently hold this believe in the midst of the worst kind of trials imaginable. Americans have no clue what poverty and suffering is. Dh says that as a young man he was desperate to believe that his father had been wrong, and he searched the Bible and prayed but never could come up with any Biblical basis (directly or in principle) for contraception or a Biblical basis for figuring out how many of his siblings should have been prevented. For a while, he was mad about this. As he went through Bible school and matured in his faith, he developed his own conviction and is QF to the bone. Y'all be glad he's not a forums-haunt like me, 'cause you surely, surely wouldn't like the way he'd debate this issue. Ultimately, he came to truly respect his parents for the strength of their faith, for their willingness to accept children as blessings and for never complaining about how many children they had or how hard life was with so many.
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/1/2008 3:12:04 PM
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journeyman7
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QF, what a term. I have never heard of this before this thread. After reading some of the replies, I was thinking that QF meant "Quite Fertile." I had to google QF to find what it really meant!
I come from an interesting situation because I have 19 brothers and sisters that I know of (most half brothers and sisters). My dad was married several times and had several large families. I never realized this number was so high until recently. I only met my dad once when I was very young, thus I guess I was on of the side family projects before he moved on. My heavenly Father is the one I am concerned with though.
I am not QF nor were my parents. Interesting topic though.
God bless,
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/1/2008 3:16:31 PM
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buckifn
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quote:
am using the term QF to simply refer to people who do not believe in any birth control whatsoever.
In that case then, I have no clue. I don't think my parent's choice of birth control is any business of mine.
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/1/2008 7:27:34 PM
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lexie
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quote:
In that case then, I have no clue. I don't think my parent's choice of birth control is any business of mine.
I would think then, in choosing to be QF and not use birth control that your parents would have explained at some point their decision.
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/1/2008 9:32:29 PM
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buckifn
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quote:
I would think then, in choosing to be QF and not use birth control that your parents would have explained at some point their decision.
Nah my parent's would roll over in their graves now at the thought of discussing such personal matters with their kids....but the thing is I am not convinced it's a sign they are or are not using birth control if they stop having kids after 1 or after 15. My last child was born despite the definite willful action to prevent it and I am so glad God has more say in the matter than we did.
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/1/2008 9:53:40 PM
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PrincessDonna
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quote:
My parents were QF until their quiver was full
This was my parents too. I'm the oldest of 4, with #3 only living a few days. They did not use BC until they were done having kids...my youngest sister is almost exactly 5 years younger than me, so they had 4 kids in 5 years. They decided their family was complete after the next baby and went ahead with permanent sterilization.
We have 5 kids and decided that was it for us. I just had a hysterectomy for endometriosis, so we're sure. LOL We hope to foster/adopt in the future, but not for at least 10 years. We have 5 kids 8 and under right now.
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The Lord watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked He will destroy.
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/1/2008 11:23:08 PM
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uponeagleswings
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This one gets interesting for me if you go back to my dad's parents. They were Catholic, and had 15 children (plus 5 miscarriages) in 24 years, which I assume means they were QF (since that was the traditional Catholic teaching of the time). In the families of those 15 kids, 1 has never married, and the largest family is 6 (although to be fair, the patriarch of that family died young so there could have been more children), with the average being 2-4 children and 2 who married but are biologically childless (1 in-family adoption). This leads me to believe that in most cases some sort of conception control was probably taking place.
As for my parents, I'm the oldest of 3, and my dad was "fixed" after my sister was born.
My mom's side of the family is considerably smaller. My grandma was one of...5 maybe? My mom has 1 sister, who has 1 child (and no more to come, although I think they've considered adoption).
As for us, I think we'll likely be QF until we feel that our quiver is full , then we'll prayerfully figure out what to do.
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/2/2008 8:05:24 AM
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lexie
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quote:
They decided their family was complete after the next baby and went ahead with permanent sterilization.
See, now I'm confused. I thought that with QF, you didn't make the decision that your quiver was full.
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/2/2008 8:12:48 AM
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PrincessDonna
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I didn't say they were QF. I quoted Ryanne's post...without the smilie. Sorry if it was confusing. Basically, my parents kept having babies and did nothing to prevent until they felt they were done. I'm pretty sure the QF "theology" didn't even exist when my parents were having babies.
I do feel that MY family is QF because we do not feel our family is permanently done growing. Obviously, because of medical issues, we are done biologically.
And actually, my parents did have a medical reason to be done. My mom had severe toxemia with the last two, and one of those babies died because of it. So it wasn't just a "we feel we're done...let's do something permanent" decision, I'm sure.
_____________________________
He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him;
He hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked He will destroy.
~Psalm 145:19-20~
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/2/2008 9:25:54 AM
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zoebob
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I think the term has been around for a while. When I was growing up there was a family we knew who were QF. I was born in the early 70s. This family ended up with 12 kids at least.
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/2/2008 9:35:31 AM
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Consecrated2God
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My husband's family is, my family mostly is.
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/2/2008 12:26:24 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
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quote:
ORIGINAL: zoebob
I think the term has been around for a while. When I was growing up there was a family we knew who were QF. I was born in the early 70s. This family ended up with 12 kids at least.
Yeah, I remember families when I was growing up who were QF, and that was the term that was used.
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RE: Were your parents QF.. - 12/2/2008 7:36:33 PM
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laughinggirl
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My parents went through a period when they said they were QF. I remember my mom saying something to me when I was a pre-teen about birth control being wrong and that people should let God decide. However, she was not very fertile and only had 3 of us. And I know for a fact that they used the pill until my dad was finished with grad school, prior to having me, and my birth was planned to coincide exactly with the end of my mom's school year since she was a teacher (it worked - I was born at the end of May). And she used b/c after I came for 2 years until they were ready for another child, although it took much longer than that to conceive my brothers. That period was when they were QF, although really it ended up being quite a few years of secondary infertility.
Eventually, they gradually changed their minds. I've discussed our use of b/c with my mom on several occasions and she completely supported it.
My parents also went through a phase during my childhood where they decided we should eat according to the OT rules, so for a while we couldn't have bacon or shellfish. They eventually got over that, too. I believe these two things were concurrent (QF and OT rules), if I remember correctly, and were most likely the result of several Bill Gothard conferences they went to around that same time. They do not hold to either of those beliefs at this point.
My husband and I are not QF.
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Cause that brings up a whole bunch of other questions for me 
