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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/22/2008 9:32:52 PM
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phosadaud
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Ummm, who is always happy and always content? Especially from day one? I mean, I'm a very laid back and happy person, but I still have bad days, I still have times I get discouraged, I still have times I get frustrated and cranky. That's part of living in a fallen world and being a fallen human. I'm sorry, but there is something wrong with someone who is perfectly happy and perfectly content all the time. The only folks I knew like that were either living in la-la land or, well, living in la-la land...
And you will NEVER get almost 20 people together in the same home and never have conflict or irritate each other - no matter how cool they are. I have a very close family, but that doesn't mean there aren't time we don't drive each other nuts.
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Resume Quotations: "Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/22/2008 9:42:07 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3627
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
quote:
They might not be happy on the inside all of the time, but they seem to have been conditioned to be happy on the outside all of the time. On what do you base that? It seems like you simply can't believe the kids could be content, lol.
All the time? If that's true, then I want whatever is in their Kool Aid. On second thought, maybe not, I am pregnant after all.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 11:25:29 AM
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doinkdom
Posts: 4259
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From: The higher lowcountry
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quote:
ORIGINAL: StephK
quote:
ORIGINAL: doinkdom
I dunno, but if Jim Bob has a job that supports a house full of chirrins like that and if Michelle is just wonder-mother of the year with everything...then I guess the question is "who cares?" and "why?"
They are both licensed realtors and I think I read they have commercial properties. He's also been a state representative and ran for the US Senate a few years ago. They did the Dave Ramsey or Larry Burkett courses early on and have been debt free for years.
That's great then.
As for the dresses and long hair - many denominations encourage this attire.
Dressing alike? Ain't no way...Growing up, we made sure that when mom took us material shopping, we never got the same colors...bad enough she used the same patterns  but the same material???
NO!!!! 
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 11:30:23 AM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6385
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From: WA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
quote:
ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
quote:
They might not be happy on the inside all of the time, but they seem to have been conditioned to be happy on the outside all of the time. On what do you base that? It seems like you simply can't believe the kids could be content, lol.
All the time? If that's true, then I want whatever is in their Kool Aid. On second thought, maybe not, I am pregnant after all.
I don't think they ARE happy all the time. I just object to the assumption that they must be miserable inside and faking it.
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Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 11:32:31 AM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 4923
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Formerly Jesus Land
Status: online
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quote:
I don't think they ARE happy all the time. I just object to the assumption that they must be miserable inside and faking it.
I agree.
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<--Plantation house in Louisiana
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 1:53:08 PM
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doinkdom
Posts: 4259
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From: The higher lowcountry
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quote:
ORIGINAL: StephK
They explained that they dress in the same colors in order to make laundry easier. They also wear red on outings for easy spotting. It was explained on one of the shows and from a home organization point of view it made a lot of sense. When you have that much daily laundry simplification is a must or Mt. Washmore would rival Mt. Everest. Some of the nit picking is silly. Small families can get by with a lot more things and still run efficiently but a family their size has to use all of the organizational tools available.
I'm not nit picking, but thank you for the observation if it was directed.
I am intrigued by this family who have little or no conflict, little or no financial issues, little or no stress at all...just amazing to me. I have never had interaction with any family in all of my 51 years that has ever been this functional with this many people and personalities involved.
I'm not waiting for the hammer to fall (or however that saying goes), but I'm gonna hang around to see how the dynamic unfolds for them. It just might be a good lesson for many of us.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 2:04:44 PM
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StephK
Posts: 2339
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From: Southwest Louisiana
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It was a general observation really. They do have a different dynamic just by the shear number of people living under one roof than a smaller family would have. Organization is a must and a well organized home does make a lot of difference in the behavior of the children. That is the one thing that I notice in the shows they do use a system that works for them. If they didn't it would be utter chaos. I'm sure there are moments where it gets crazy. We've only seen the tv programs where a small snapshot of their lives were shown.
One reason they are able to pull it off is that they apply Biblical principles of finance and learned to live debt free early on in their marriage. That right there probably is the main reason for the stress level being lower than other families. I don't agree with a lot of their practices as far as patriarchy goes but they do a lot of things that I do agree with. Time will tell whether or not the kids follow the parents teachings.
< Message edited by StephK -- 9/23/2008 2:11:57 PM >
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The heart of the wise inclines to the right but the heart of the fool to the left.
Even as he walks along the road, the fool lacks sense and shows everyone how stupid he is. ~ Ecc. 10:2-3
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 2:08:55 PM
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doinkdom
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I just think of the few times I've seen the other big family reality show:
The Duggars
this is your family with organization
Jon, Kate + 8
this is your family without organization
it was funnier before I actually wrote it down
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 3:36:44 PM
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phosadaud
Posts: 10522
Joined: 9/19/2005
From: Washington State
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
quote:
ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
quote:
They might not be happy on the inside all of the time, but they seem to have been conditioned to be happy on the outside all of the time. On what do you base that? It seems like you simply can't believe the kids could be content, lol.
All the time? If that's true, then I want whatever is in their Kool Aid. On second thought, maybe not, I am pregnant after all.
I don't think they ARE happy all the time. I just object to the assumption that they must be miserable inside and faking it.
Who here said or even implied they must all be miserable inside?
The only things I have seen posted were folks like me who said we didn't like anyone portraying themselves (or being portrayed as) perfectly happy and without conflict ALL the time.
I even went into the why I have an issue with that which I would be interested in hearing what others thought about that.
_____________________________
~Kristin~
Resume Quotations: "Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 3:58:06 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2549
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
ORIGINAL: doinkdom
I just think of the few times I've seen the other big family reality show:
The Duggars
this is your family with organization
Jon, Kate + 8
this is your family without organization
it was funnier before I actually wrote it down
Actually, I laughed out loud when I saw that if that makes you feel any better...Kate would be a lot more organized if she would chill a little...she tried having a housekeeper, but let her go because she didn't do things just Kate's way, and when the kids were carving pumpkins she was practically cleaning up before they were done..she needs to accept help (even if imperfect) and also let Jon be his own person..
Keep in mind too, the Duggars made a purposeful decision to chuck birth control, and so were kind of prepared for the possibility of a huge family, and able to plan/develop ways of doing things accordingly. Jon and Kate, OTOH, after the twins, only wanted one more baby, and were caught by surprise with the septuplets.
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-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 4:21:33 PM
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doinkdom
Posts: 4259
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From: The higher lowcountry
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I understand all the reasoning why the comparison doesn't work...it was a tasteless joke. 
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 4:25:43 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2549
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
.it was a tasteless joke.
Oh, I don't think it was...I just thought it was humorous...after all both families ALLOWED themselves to be public, so both families opened themselves up for comment...I wasn't trying to make you feel bad AT ALL..I was just kind of laying the two shows side by side..
Goodness, you're not the first one to compare the two..there are debates all over the internet about which show people like better..some like Jon and Kate better because they say they are more "real," others like the Duggars better saying they are more "nice." It's all a matter of opinion.
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 4:46:12 PM
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doinkdom
Posts: 4259
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
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well, I think they're all a special form of crazy  to let the public into their personal lives.
Yikes!
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 6:45:32 PM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 4923
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Formerly Jesus Land
Status: online
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quote:
Who here said or even implied they must all be miserable inside?
There have been several posts talking about how the kids must have been trained to act happy on the outside. How do we know they are only acting happy?
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<--Plantation house in Louisiana
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 6:54:16 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3627
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
quote:
Who here said or even implied they must all be miserable inside?
There have been several posts talking about how the kids must have been trained to act happy on the outside. How do we know they are only acting happy?
Well, we do have posts from at least one fellow who was brought up Gothard and knows the pressure to always put on a good show.
But most folks think that they probably are genuinely happy some of the time, just not all the time. So either it's a matter of editing and never showing a sibling squabble or marital tiff, or they are well trained not to let the occasional foul mood break through.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 6:55:53 PM
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3tulips
Posts: 329
Joined: 2/1/2007
From: sandy shore
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
quote:
Who here said or even implied they must all be miserable inside?
There have been several posts talking about how the kids must have been trained to act happy on the outside. How do we know they are only acting happy?
I acted happy growing up in the middle of my big family. I was tired of babysitting and left home at 19. I keep wondering if one of these kids will write a "tell all" book.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 8:07:16 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 9790
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
quote:
I don't think they ARE happy all the time. I just object to the assumption that they must be miserable inside and faking it.
I agree.
yup...in fact if you watch the one where she is in labor, she is obviously at certain times NOT wanting anyone around or in her face.....they just edited a ton of that part out...but as someone that has BTDT a few times it was clear and easy to see that in her eyes and face a few times.
as for dressing in the same color....I already said that I do that often so that any pics are easier to scrapbook....also sometimes it happens because I pull a certain load of a certain color out of the dryer and pull all that everyone wears from that, so they just happen to be all the same color. It is much easier though to find who is with you when they are dressed alike.
quote:
I am intrigued by this family who have little or no conflict, little or no financial issues, little or no stress at all...just amazing to me. I have never had interaction with any family in all of my 51 years that has ever been this functional with this many people and personalities involved.
there are days that all of us have where we get on everyone's nerves, but generally speaking my kids get along with each other great, they hardly ever fight, they hardly ever yell...we have a relatively peaceful and calm house most of the time. People that come here are amazed that we have that with so many kids (5 kids...9yo to 3mo)
quote:
ORIGINAL: doinkdom
I just think of the few times I've seen the other big family reality show:
The Duggars
this is your family with organization
Jon, Kate + 8
this is your family without organization
it was funnier before I actually wrote it down
ROFLOL!!!!! (I thought it was pretty funny!!!)
quote:
But most folks think that they probably are genuinely happy some of the time, just not all the time. So either it's a matter of editing and never showing a sibling squabble or marital tiff, or they are well trained not to let the occasional foul mood break through.
how many of us have done the same thing though....blow up on the way to church, then put on a happy face for everyone else. BTDT myself. In fact I/we had to learn the hard way that who you really are is who you are to your family, not who you are to the door greeter at church or the checker at the grocery store. We may not be gleeful all the time now, but we aren't like we used to be....like I said, we have a genuinely mostly peaceful house....mostly....not right now cause I need to post this and get off here and go get the screaming baby...lol.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 8:23:36 PM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 4923
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I grew up in a big family and loved it, so my perspective on that may be different than someone who came from a big family and didn't enjoy it.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/23/2008 8:45:40 PM
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phosadaud
Posts: 10522
Joined: 9/19/2005
From: Washington State
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
quote:
Who here said or even implied they must all be miserable inside?
There have been several posts talking about how the kids must have been trained to act happy on the outside. How do we know they are only acting happy?
I was one of those posters and that is not at ALL what I meant hence it is why I didn't say that. The concern that was expressed is that no one is happy and content all the time with no conflict. When you act like you are (or are edited in such as way as to look like you are), it's fake and I don't think it does any good. I have a serious concern with believers who put on the "happy mask". I thought as believers we should be real with one another - and real with our neighbors. That doesn't mean act like a jerk only in private as one should never act like a jerk. That just means allowing yourself to be vulnerable and showing that just because you are a Christian doesn't mean you have it all together and never struggle. To me that "happy mask" does a lot of harm. First, it's fake and people know it so it isn't a witness - AT ALL (in fact in my experience, it tends to have the opposite effect). Second, it gives people wrong idea about what Christianity is all about (it's not about getting saved so you can be happy and content to - it's about God). Third, it confuses joy and happiness in a world that doesn't understand the distinction.
I guess I see the "happy mask" as nothing more than a lie. In Scripture, Paul doesn't portray himself as this person who has it all together and doesn't struggle and is always singing happy songs. You see a real man - who struggles and fights temptation and hurts and gets frustrated. That's honesty. That's what will build the body - not someone acting like they have it all together. IMHO, the world is tired of Christians acting one way at home or at the office and another way at Church. I see no Scriptural support for this. If we would be ashamed to behave poorly in church, we should be just as ashamed to behave poorly at home or at the office. That's why I believe in being real. I mean, who are we trying to impress? The little old ladies at church? Or God? Are we looking for a pat on the back or to be Holy?
Does that mean I think that people who "act happy" and together are the opposite? No. They may be, they may not be. We don't have anyway of knowing either way. But I can guarantee you one thing: No one in this fallen world is always happy, always content, always "together". To portray yourself as anything different is a lie. I don't see any "acting" lessons in Scriptures and I think there's a reason for that.
That's my point. Nothing more. Nothing less.
_____________________________
~Kristin~
Resume Quotations: "Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/24/2008 8:10:01 AM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 4923
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Formerly Jesus Land
Status: online
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I understand your point, Kristin, but what I object to is the assumption that that it's a happy mask. I know no one is happy all the time. I know that anything you see on TV is not an accurate reflection of reality, but that it depends on editing. If the editors choose to not show an unhappy moment, why is that a bad reflection on the family? If the overall atmosphere of the home is happy, why wouldn't happy editing be a generally accurate potrayal of their famil life? Some things I think are private and don't need to be aired.
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<--Plantation house in Louisiana
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/24/2008 8:38:01 AM
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jodavi
Posts: 1641
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I have mix emotions with this. Part of me is that I'm curious so I want to watch and I do watch a lot of Jon and Kate but then I'm concerned also that and I'm hoping that it'll not break them down. I used to love watching the Hogans. I loved the fact that Hulk Hogan being a great Dad to his kids and admired his marriage to Linda and prior to the show, I did not know that they've been married that long. Hulk Hogan's a believer and they would show a lot of time in praying during the first few episodes of the show and look what happened to the family. I'm not sure if the reality show had something to do with it or not but his family lived a private life for so many years until the reality show came about and it was all open book. Even with Jon and Kate-- it seems like lately, you could see more annoyance in between them when they're sitting in that couch talking to the camera which was not the case during the first few shows. I'm sure the Duggars have prayed about this before making the decision but if they're life does not seem to be chaos right now, I'm sure it'll be different when the camera crew comes with all the lights and pretty much becoming a part of them everyday.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/24/2008 9:01:40 AM
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kernsfamily
Posts: 1359
Joined: 4/26/2006
From: Dallas (originally Detroit)
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quote:
IMHO, the world is tired of Christians acting one way at home or at the office and another way at Church. I see no Scriptural support for this. If we would be ashamed to behave poorly in church, we should be just as ashamed to behave poorly at home or at the office. That's why I believe in being real. I mean, who are we trying to impress? The little old ladies at church? Or God? Are we looking for a pat on the back or to be Holy?
those who are really into "Gothardism" are continually "Comparing" themselves with others. Who can be more "holy"?
EXAMPLE: Well, if "so and so" imposes those 10 "rules" on their family, then Iam going to follow THOSE, and add on 10 more (We'll have a stricter dress code then y'all....we'll go to THREE Bill Gothard seminars this year, and you''ll only be going to TWO....we'll not just watch religious TV and DVDs, we're going to get rid of our TV altogether!+)....and I will be even MORE "blessed"......and be a better Christian....and, be even MORE "in favor" of God....
That's the way it works. And, anyone who doesn't "meet their standard" of holiness are "out of favor" with God.
You're right..there is no scriptural support for that...though, that doesn't deter the "teachings" they get. First of all, many of the teachings ARE either based on scripture taken out of context....or, not really there at all. But, many people believe in the "IDEAS" so much, that they BELIEVE that there IS a "solid" scriptural basis for what they believe......
quote:
I am intrigued by this family who have little or no conflict, little or no financial issues, little or no stress at all.
One would be intrigued by a family who SEEMS to have all those things (one would certainly LOVE to be a "fly on the wall")....though, I know they are taught that a "happy, smiling" family is one that God "demands".....and, there's an evangelistic element in there, as well (the "world" sees a happy family....and, wants to be "just like them", etc..etc...)....there are MAJOR problems with that premise....some VERY Christian families certainly don't want to "Play that Game"....and, then they are left to wonder why ONE family is so "happy", and they appear "miserable" when compared to them.....the "miserable" family wonders, "WHAT are we doing wrong? Why are WE the only ones that SEEM "miserable"!!!!! .......while those who don't have that "transparency" with others, are just as miserable....
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Proud dad of 3 great girls....Erin, Emilie and Elise
Blessed to have all of them in a "totally awesome" public elementary school!
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 9/24/2008 10:12:50 AM
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stellaluna
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