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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/27/2008 2:08:10 PM
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stateofgrace
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OK...understand that I hadn't seen any of the new shows, because watching the Duggars just isn't a priority for me. But last night there was a marathon on, and not much else of note on TV. So, DH, DD#2 and I watched several episodes while updating DH's iPod and DD#2 finishing some homework.
Having seen some of the earlier specials, I noticed that there were certainly differences in the older girls' appearance. More attention to the hair and subtle but still visible makeup. And, possibly someone has convinced the Duggar parents that their daughters can still dress modestly but wear some more attractive tops. Perhaps all this was provided by the show's producers? Even Michelle's hairdo seems to have been tamed down.
Re: the buddy system. Even though I was familiar with the Duggar family views on this, it was still surprising to see the parents strolling hand in hand in Central Park while their children pushed all their siblings in strollers. Especially with the youngest still being a baby!
And how soon do the little girls have to start wearing calf-length or lower skits? Because the little one that's barely walking is wearing one. The baby, of course, gets to wear regular baby clothes with the short skirt and tights (better than pants, I suppose).
Re: handholding-only during engagement and "purity." What was shown on the screen wasn't simply hand-holding. More like hand-STROKING. And a lot of it, going on for quite a while happening almost every time Josh and Anna was shown together. I totally don't get how all that stroking is so much more "pure" than a short kiss? For a lot of people, hands are a very sensitive part of the body.
I think Josh is very likely going to go into politics. Am I right? Has there been anything that might suggest that (other than doing the Gothard online law school, that is)?
Overall, I think that the show has been edited to show the Duggars in a generally favorable light and downplay many things that would make them seem more odd (and it's not surprising that's the case, because if I was negotiating a contract for my family to appear on TV, I would want to set things up so that we were not negatively portrayed). For example, we see them singing a hymn on the bus, but they likely believe like Gothard that all contemporary music is demonic, and that will likely not come up on the show.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/27/2008 4:01:50 PM
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justjennhere
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I just saw this show for the first time last night when TLC had a "marathon" of some of the episodes. I think I saw the engagement, courtship, and Silver Dollar City episodes. And the one where the Bates family was staying with them.
I have to say that I totally respect quiverfull families. We were quiverfull ourselves... until God blessed us with two babies in twelve months. Now, we are simply a two-arrow family. Love those two arrows, though!  I am AMAZED by this family and how well spoken their children are. I would be very pleased if my daughters grew up to be as mature and ladylike as the young women in this family.
I don't think their courtship standards are ridiculous or too sheltered. I don't think the engaged couple was forced into any rules or standards by the parents. It truly seemed as though this was their decision, as young adults on their own, to be chaperoned and to refrain from kissing until their wedding day. Saying that, though, I was embarrassed to watch what was going on with all the excessive hand-stroking and doe-eyed looks. LOL Not that this is wrong (I don't think even kissing, when done in a pure context, is wrong before marriage), but it sure didn't match up with the high level of guarding their hearts/staying pure in mind and heart standards that they were setting for themselves. Does that make sense? It was almost like they were keeping the letter of the law (no kissing!) while ignoring the spirit (not arousing sexual feelings). Again, not that I think holding hands is wrong, but... well, DH and I couldn't hold hands like that without it leading to something else very quickly. But, I don't know, maybe we're weird like that.
And I would have to agree with earlier posters who said that being engaged and being involved in a relationship headed towards marriage DOES involve giving part of your heart away. What kind of couple would get engaged and keep their feelings guarded until that moment at the altar? I know courtship is supposed to protect hearts, but at the level that these two were at -- planning marriage with a ring on her finger -- hearts SHOULD be involved enough that it will hurt if things don't work out.
I also wonder, just as earlier posters have, about what education and career aspirations the girls are encouraged to have. While I whole-heartedly agree that marriage and motherhood are very worthy and honorable ambitions (I love being a SAHM!), I will not train my own daughters to be solely focused on this pursuit. Life isn't always easy or predictable, and there's every possibility that they will remain single, never have children, or be widowed and have to provide for themselves (and any children that they have had). I remember hearing that the Bates' older daughter made all of her siblings' clothes, which could turn itself into a profitable career in the event that she pursued it. (Not that they said this about her seamstress skills... but obviously she had been taught a trade that could be useful both inside and outside of the home.) I thought this was wonderful and wondered if the Duggar girls had similar skills and if they were encouraged to have aspirations beyond homemaking. (Again, not that there's anything wrong with being "just" a homemaker. But I rest easier at night knowing that I have a degree and job skills to take care of my little ones in the event that something happens to my husband. I would hope for this same assurance for every other homemaker out there.)
Anyway, just my two cents.
Oh, and it totally cracked me up that they had to leave the younger sister behind because she wasn't old enough to get in to see the movie. No, our kids aren't allowed to watch much television, but once they turn eighteen, rated R movies are a-okay! LOL Oh, and the mom and dad said that they would do the kissing (since the children weren't going to until their wedding day) and then proceeded to kiss in front of the newly engaged couple. LOL After eighteen children, that's so sweet... but I would've been mortified if they were my parents!
(I sincerely hope that none of my comments can be interpreted as criticism against this precious family. I'm really impressed by them and am excited to hear more of their testimony and witness through this show!)
< Message edited by justjennhere -- 10/27/2008 4:27:16 PM >
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/27/2008 4:25:06 PM
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kohls356
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Here is a description of the episode of Duggar dating rules
In this episode we delve deeper into Duggar courtship rituals where handholding is a privilege, saving your first kiss for you wedding day is a must, and chaperones are always tagging along.
Handholding is a privilege and saving your first kiss for you wedding day is a must. That should be an interesing show.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/28/2008 12:02:51 PM
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stampinlady
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quote:
Re: handholding-only during engagement and "purity." What was shown on the screen wasn't simply hand-holding. More like hand-STROKING. And a lot of it, going on for quite a while happening almost every time Josh and Anna was shown together. I totally don't get how all that stroking is so much more "pure" than a short kiss? For a lot of people, hands are a very sensitive part of the body.
I agree, touching like they were doing can be very sensual, imo. I saw 2 of the episodes and thought it was cute, but I bit too ..... sappy. I made dd come up and watch because she has a "boyfriend" and I wanted to take every opportunity to show her how to act.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/28/2008 9:04:31 PM
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Sideways
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OK, watching the jurisdiction swap episode, I have to admit I laughed a lot. The little boys trying to cook was pretty funny, and I thought the girls did a good job for their first time changing a tire - 30 minutes really isn't to bad.
They did cop to the fact that the 4 oldest girls do most of the cooking and cleaning for that huge household, and they did ask a few passing questions about "setting the girls up to be SAHM's" and gender roles.
Overall, I liked the episode.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/4/2008 1:02:01 PM
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Sideways
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Jessa and Jinger crack me up, those girls got some spunk. I skipped over the Creation Museum part, but I liked the family reunion. It was pretty smart putting the non-baby younger kids in the bus the night before the trip to make it easier to get everyone in there first thing in the morning.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/4/2008 5:17:00 PM
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momma-mo
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I agree! Sure saves having to round them up, get them dressed and scoot them out the door! Great planning!
I only started watching the show around the marathon time. (I've seen all of the specials.) When I saw Josh and Anna my comment was...They'd better have a short engagement and get married quickly! My question is, have I missed the wedding? I don't see Josh in the next episodes....
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/4/2008 5:25:53 PM
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stellaluna
Posts: 4406
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Oh yeah, I only halfway paid attention to the creation museum myself.
As for Josh, he did get married, but they haven't aired that yet. Maybe they keep airing the engagement show so that people will remember that a wedding is coming?
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/6/2008 7:47:06 AM
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Sideways
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I'll be interested in fast-forwarding 5 years or so, and maybe one of the elder daughters is married with a toddler and new baby on the way. They'll have a much smaller family, but especially when daddy is away, the new wife will have to do it all.
So a huge family with more help or a much smaller family with less help? It would be interesting to hear her thoughts as a 25 year old wife looking back.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/6/2008 7:54:55 AM
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Ellie-Mae
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I know many families where a younger sibling will stay with an older sibling for a bit after a new baby is born and help out once or twice a week when a sibling could just use a hand or company.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/6/2008 8:09:39 AM
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Ellie-Mae
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my mom also reminded me that between learning all of those organizational skills and being used living with such a large family that having a smaller house with only 4 or 5 kids would seem pretty easy and natural.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/11/2008 8:38:08 PM
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Sideways
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Ok, the Jinger learning to drive episode on Monday was really funny. I've always liked Jinger. Like her mother says "She's got spunk."
I found it interesting that they do not use Time Outs as a punishment, but instead have the little ones "practice" sitting still and exercising self control. Little Jackson didn't look terrible happy to listen to the violin recital, but it looked like he stayed there for a while.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 11/17/2008 4:51:27 PM
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hnt
Posts: 542
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stampinlady
quote:
Re: handholding-only during engagement and "purity." What was shown on the screen wasn't simply hand-holding. More like hand-STROKING. And a lot of it, going on for quite a while happening almost every time Josh and Anna was shown together. I totally don't get how all that stroking is so much more "pure" than a short kiss? For a lot of people, hands are a very sensitive part of the body.
I agree, touching like they were doing can be very sensual, imo. I saw 2 of the episodes and thought it was cute, but I bit too ..... sappy. I made dd come up and watch because she has a "boyfriend" and I wanted to take every opportunity to show her how to act.
I only watched this once I think it was. WHen they were building the home.
Tee hee - the way you describe the hand holding sounds like they got kissing in a different way! 
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And before someone smacks my hand for that and tells me that this was only a snippet and we can't know what was going on when the tape wasn't rolling - that is correct. HOWEVER, as much as they stress their parenting and their values, I would think this would be a value they would want to show: Being parents and not putting that responsibility on your kids? I mean, it seems the little ones genuinely get to be kids in their family (which is awesome!), but what about the older ones? I agree that older ones should be taught responsibility and maturity. However, I also believe there is a point at which it becomes too much on too young of shoulders.
