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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/16/2008 12:41:27 PM
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magdaleine
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I don't see a contradiction, Abiyah. You can do what you were told without specifically seeking eye contact.
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/16/2008 1:02:53 PM
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Covaan_Meshuga
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Then it is my error in interpreting "look right at the people" to intend "make eye contact"?
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Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/16/2008 1:21:51 PM
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magdaleine
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What I do when I don't want to make eye contact is walk like I'm confident and in charge and I look at people, but not their eyes. More like a sweeping of the area in front of me that includes whatever people might be there. What my doctor said, and Mandy alluded to, is that there is a much higher "incidence" of mental illness among the street people than in the general population.
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Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/16/2008 1:25:48 PM
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Covaan_Meshuga
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Okay. I did misinterpret, then. Thank you.
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Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/16/2008 1:36:24 PM
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Thessa
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quote:
ORIGINAL: solomonsprayer
Is it wrong to give a dirty homeless person some money out of charity and then refuse to shake their hand when they offer to thank you? ....I have been in these instances before where I wanted to give money to help someone, but then when they would extend their dirty disgusting looking hand toward me to thank me, I would just say no problem and walk off. ....Not shaking their hand that is....out of fear of germs or disease, etc. ....I didn't come off rude, but just tried to play it off as if I didn't see them offer the shake and pretended to need to get going....
I dont think you need to worry too much about it. I doubt if many of them would want to shake ur hand anyways.
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For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/16/2008 5:00:33 PM
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redeemedsaint
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First of all, I don't have a problem shaking a homeless man's hand, whether dirty or not. If you have fear of germs, then carry sanitizer. By not shaking the man's hand, it comes across as rude. Sorry, my humble opinion. I also hug them by the way and don't have a problem with it.
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Woody
Get off the track cause the freight train is coming - Coach Bobby Lee Duke from Facing the Giants
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/16/2008 5:40:06 PM
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KuKu
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quote:
ORIGINAL: IMA_CHRISTIAN
quote:
ORIGINAL: KuKu
If you avoided the situation completely, no, your lack of dealing with blood is not a problem. But to hand him a band-aid, and then refuse to acknowledge his thanks, would be as incorrect as the OP, considering this is what actually happened...
I have a good test for you - lets say you are a missinary in another country - you visit a tribe that has unusual food customs. It would be rude for you to not eat a "disgusting" piece of raw strange meat. So do you eat it, or not? Remember, it could be the most odd part of the animal and you must eat it - raw - or offend the head of the tribe. Now are you able to easily do it? remember, the meat is disgusting when you think about what part of the animal it came from and that its raw.
You are asking a missionary that question... I have eaten rattlesnake, pig and cow intestines, iguana, etc.(etc means can't remember what it was off hand) as a way of being polite (that doesn't include beverages  ), and I imagine I could handle raw, if I truly had to, as well. And I don't worry about offending the 'head of the tribe'. The "lesser" members are important to God as well.
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/16/2008 5:45:30 PM
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KuKu
Posts: 920
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quote:
ORIGINAL: magdaleine
I guess I want to treat people on the street the same way I would like others to treat my son if he winds up in that situation.
Maggie Doodles, I think this is the most real answer in this thread... someone else mentioned 'doing unto others', but unless it's a real life possibility, we don't always understand that very well.
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/16/2008 6:34:00 PM
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IMA_CHRISTIAN
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Covaan_Meshuga
I am thankful that this thread was started. So much to learn, so much to pray about, some of which is heart-breaking. Bless all of you!
quote:
ORIGINAL: magdaleine
Yeah, my own psychiatrist warned me about this and about not making eye contact as I walk on our most desperate streets. If you make eye contact with someone who is in a psychotic episode, you could become part of that world he is in and be hurt.
I have been told the opposite -- head up, "own" the street, and look right at people. In this, how does one know what is right?
a policeman who wrote a book says the best thing is "listen to your gut feeling" He wrote a book on it called The Gift of Fear which explains how you have instincts that tell you what to do and if you listen to it, you can avoid a lot of danger, coz your "gut feeling" or "gut instinct" senses danger.
i cant say this is the answer, but seems to work for me. When i go thru a neighborhood and have to pass by some dangerous-looking people (which might not be dangerous but they might be wearing clothing that appears to be gang-type clothes).. anyhoo, i just walk past them as if they are not a threat, as if I belong in the neighborhood. I just "act cool". Which means I dont walk as if scared. I think if someone wanted to mess with someone they could perceive that im scared and decide they wanna mess with me, IF they were looking to mess with someone. so i just walk as if everything is ok.
also, in some cultures, it is considered an insult to not greet the person you are passing on the street with "Good morning" So I also try to pass someone and say good morning to them coz it makes a better mood between me and the other person, and when peopel are acknowledged like that with a good morning, theres less chance they will be mad at you and try to mess with you.
but do as you see fit. Whatever your gut feeling tells you is usually the right thing to do.
I would NOT be sarcastic with street people (or even anyone for that matter). In Chicago there was a homeless couple that had bad mental or bad social problems, and the homeless woman asked a lady passerby who was on her way with her husband going to some kind of party or something, anyway, the lady going to the party said to the homeless woman: "Get a job![b]" and the homeless woman beat this woman up so bad she lost 10 teeth. This was in the news recently here in Chicago.
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I'm just one of those Calvinistic robots for the Lord :)
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/18/2008 8:52:11 AM
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Oldwing
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quote:
I have been told the opposite -- head up, "own" the street, and look right at people. In this, how does one know what is right?
I take that approach - live with authority, speak with authority and it has served me well - even before I was a believer.
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Gary
These things I command you, that you love one another. John 15:17
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/18/2008 8:54:48 AM
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SonInMe1
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I am big and mean looking...no one bothers me.
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You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
James 4:4
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/18/2008 8:43:31 PM
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Oldwing
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SonInMe1
I am big and mean looking...no one bothers me.
When I'm leathered up to ride I look like the guy you'd cross the street to avoid. Its just the outside though. Inside I'm just another man on the street.
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Gary
These things I command you, that you love one another. John 15:17
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/19/2008 12:24:36 AM
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Covaan_Meshuga
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SonInMe1
I am big and mean looking...no one bothers me.
I have such a hard time thinking of you like that. It just doesn't equate.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Oldwing
When I'm leathered up to ride I look like the guy you'd cross the street to avoid. Its just the outside though. Inside I'm just another man on the street.
And you? You've only been here a little while, but I'm hoping you have a seetheart who is totally devoted. You seem like a guy who deserves that.
_____________________________
Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/19/2008 8:36:23 AM
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SonInMe1
Posts: 3398
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quote:
quote:
ORIGINAL: SonInMe1
I am big and mean looking...no one bothers me.
I have such a hard time thinking of you like that. It just doesn't equate.
I have a few oscars.
_____________________________
You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
James 4:4
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/19/2008 1:04:13 PM
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Oldwing
Posts: 145
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From: New Hampshire, USA
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quote:
And you? You've only been here a little while, but I'm hoping you have a sweetheart who is totally devoted. You seem like a guy who deserves that.
I am blessed with a most devoted wife. During my 8 day stay in the hospital last April/May she slept on the floor [took the pad off the painful cot they offered] next to my bed and was with me every minute of the time. My devotion to her is the same. We have been together for over 2 decades now and I can't imaging life, or even a day, without her.
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Gary
These things I command you, that you love one another. John 15:17
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/19/2008 1:13:37 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 5159
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You are blessed, Gary.
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Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/19/2008 1:27:01 PM
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Oldwing
Posts: 145
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From: New Hampshire, USA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: magdaleine
You are blessed, Gary.
Amen Maggie. We live together and work together and are together 24/7 and I wouldn't have it any other way. :)
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Gary
These things I command you, that you love one another. John 15:17
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/19/2008 3:54:35 PM
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Oldwing
Posts: 145
Joined: 9/12/2008
From: New Hampshire, USA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Covaan_Meshuga
quote:
And you even corrected my spelling error!
Just part of my obsessive nature :)
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Gary
These things I command you, that you love one another. John 15:17
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/20/2008 6:02:30 AM
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ekserekseez
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I usually pull out a five or ten dollar bill and toss on the ground. While they pick it up, I have time to make a handshake-free, hug-free getaway and thus avoid scabies, which my sister got from hugging a homeless child. I figure ten bucks is enough that they won't be offended by my rudeness. Or at least enough for them to buy a bottle of cheap vodka so they can forget my rudeness.
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/20/2008 6:22:17 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 18075
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From: Just Outside of Boston
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I will shake a homeless person's hand, however I will also note if the hand is dirty or not and remember that I need to wash that hand later on instead.
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/20/2008 12:58:23 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6024
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ekserekseez
I usually pull out a five or ten dollar bill and toss on the ground. While they pick it up, I have time to make a handshake-free, hug-free getaway and thus avoid scabies, which my sister got from hugging a homeless child.
You are extremely unlikely to get scabies from a handshake or a quick hug. It's prolonged skin to skin contact that spreads the mite, or contact with the bedding or clothing of infected persons.
But I'd actually rather risk scabies than treat someone badly or treat them as less than a human being of equal value to me.
And I never give money.
I will give a sandwich, a coffee, a burger, toiletries - even take someone to the station and buy them a train ticket, but I don't give money. Since many people on the street have drug/alcohol addictions, giving them money is basically enabling their addiction and potentially hastening their death. No way am I buying into that.
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"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Not Shaking A Dirty Homeless Person's Hand? - 9/20/2008 1:00:01 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3142
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ekserekseez
I usually pull out a five or ten dollar bill and toss on the ground. While they pick it up, I have time to make a handshake-free, hug-free getaway and thus avoid scabies, which my sister got from hugging a homeless child. I figure ten bucks is enough that they won't be offended by my rudeness. Or at least enough for them to buy a bottle of cheap vodka so they can forget my rudeness.
Wow, this is pathetic. For the love of all that's holy, do the homeless a favor and keep your money. 
Having worked in pastoral care for a long time, I am faced with the homeless often. Helping them is more than handing them food, clothing or money...a touch goes a long way in ministering to heart of someone who is often an untouchable. It speaks volumes about how much you care...anyone can throw down money and continue to reinforce the homeless person's belief that they are a nothing.
Jesus is our model...when did he ever shy away from touching the untouchables? If you can't bring yourself to touch them, be kind and just move on...they don't need your money that badly.
Oh and btw, in all my years of touching these people, I've never caught a thing.
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~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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