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Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/11/2008 12:58:22 PM
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Leslie_JnJs_mom
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Is is possible? I have heard of babies being trained to sit still through church but I am not sure how they do it. Everyone at our church just puts their LO's in the nursery. There is nothing wrong with that but I do not like doing it. Everytime I leave my child in the nursery she comes out with bruises.
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<------- Jessica and I had so much fun with grandma!
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/11/2008 2:11:18 PM
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manda59
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I didn't try to make mine sit still. Apart from anything else I wanted church to be somewhere they wanted to come, not somewhere where they had to sit still and shut up all the time.
So, from the start we chose churches which were child-friendly.
What we also did was sat at the back, with a special little bag of theirs with colouring book, pencils, quiet toys, a drink and a snack. Dave and I sat with 2-3 chairs between us (more if the row was empty) and let ours sit, stand, walk (but between us), read, colour, eat, etc. The things in their bag only ever came out at church time. As they got older, they packed their church bag themselves. And we never had any problems with either child (they are now 19 and 15).
The church we're in now is even more child-friendly. There's two big mats up at the front where the children can all sit (parents sit with them on the floor or on the chairs behind). There's shakers and flags if the children want to use them in the worship, they're encouraged to dance if they want to, and sometimes one or two of them will be invited up to the microphone to pray. If the children want to toddle/walk round the church, no-one minds. We've found that because the children are allowed to move, they don't actually move much, and they're never disruptive.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/11/2008 2:44:02 PM
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KnowJesus
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Just for fun you could have them grab the mike...and bring the message.
Little Preacher
On a serious note. Most young children are known to bring a bag of goodies, like described by the poster above. I recall visiting a church out of town when the girls were younger. As we were greeted, the girls were given a packet of small crayons, a color book with activities to do.
We always had ours with us. A teenager was in charge of the nursery for babes and toddlers. I guess, an hour seemed huge to me back then, but no way did i trust a teen to care for them.
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/11/2008 2:53:21 PM
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Leslie_JnJs_mom
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No not sit still but our new church has pretty wide space in between the chairs so people can sit farther down without making the people at the start of the row suck in thier legs. Jessica views that as an open invitation to roam around. In our old building it was pretty narrow so she would just kneel on the floor and color. I have tried to make her be still but she makes a fuss. I am trying to find ways to make it fun to be still but I am not very creative. Coloring works for about 10 minutes.
I spent a few months trying spanking out and to tell the truth it was horrible. Even though I never swated her without sitting down and telling her she was getting a spanking every time I stood up and walked towards her she would put her hands on her bottom. I just cannot discipline with spanking I no longer willing to just take her to the bathroom for a spanking.
_____________________________
<------- Jessica and I had so much fun with grandma!
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/11/2008 3:21:07 PM
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Georgia-Peach
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I don't know from personal experience because Hunter goes into nursery. But, I remember growing up being as young as 3 if not younger sitting in church with my parents. Mom would always bring a bag with coloring books, crayons, and books to read. I think it is possible to teach young children to be in the "big church" with the adults without being disruptive. I just think it is asking to much for them to sit still and not having anything to do. T
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Chelle
A Mother holds her child's hand for a moment, but holds their heart forever.
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/11/2008 4:14:10 PM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Leslie_JnJs_mom
I spent a few months trying spanking out and to tell the truth it was horrible. Even though I never swated her without sitting down and telling her she was getting a spanking every time I stood up and walked towards her she would put her hands on her bottom. I just cannot discipline with spanking I no longer willing to just take her to the bathroom for a spanking.
I personally wouldn't have wanted my child to associate church with spanking, period.
Have you tried little non-messy snacks like raisins? I'm all for incentives rather than punishments as far as church is concerned.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/11/2008 4:39:31 PM
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Leslie_JnJs_mom
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I have a friend that I am pretty close to . We have had our ups and downs but have always come out friends again. She has a grown daughter who is in such bad shape. She has two kids from different guys nither of which she was married to. She parties alot well you get the picture. She blames herself for her daughter now. She thinks if she had been heavy on the discipline her daughter would not have turned out like she did. So the advice I got from her a few months back was to spank when my child does not listen especially at church. I tried it but it was horrible so no worries about my LO getting spanked at church.
I have tired food a few times but it made a mess. Perhaps I will bring something that is less messy. Jessica loves the music part of church so the first half is taken care of.
_____________________________
<------- Jessica and I had so much fun with grandma!
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/11/2008 6:29:08 PM
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reach
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I alway had a special bag that was for church. It had crayons, cars, lined paper to practice letters on. $ store item stuff.
The only reason that I would take them out for dicispline is for disobeying. Not because they can't sit still. Especially since I can barely sit through service without writing.
But our church was small and we were able to do that. The church I attend now, there is not enough room in the santuary to do this.
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/12/2008 12:53:48 AM
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creationtalk
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Yes, it is possible for a 3 yo to sit through church...it takes about a roll of duct tape...tape the mouth shut so it can't talk then wrap duct tape from the shoulders to the feet...and then duct tape the child to the pew.  (JUST JOKING...in case anyone cannot tell.)
If you ever find out how to get a 3 yo to sit quietly through church can you please pass it on to me so I can try it with my 7 yo?
I have seen some families whose children always sat quietly during church, but I have no idea how they do it, I certainly could never do it with my son.
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/12/2008 7:50:24 AM
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creationtalk
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How active is your child on a non-Sunday morning? Does she get up ready to go and is on the move most of the time? If this is your child, then what you may need to do is BEFORE church have an active play time--baby aerobics, or what ever before getting ready for church.
Take quiet favorite toys with you to church and let her play with them as long as she stays no higher than the seat back on the pew and goes no farther than the the end of the pew (like between you and the end of the pew).
If your normal morning routine allows her to have active free play in the mornings after she gets up, then Sundays when activity is limited to rush to get ready, go sit in Church, it will be hard for her to adjust to the change in routine. if she is used to recharging/sitting still only in front of the TV, you may want to consider turning off the TV and train her to do her quiet time/rest with quiet activities (that could be repeated in Church)
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/13/2008 5:05:17 PM
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Shatzie
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I've been taking my 3 y.o. DGD to church with me since she was an infant. She behaves fine for the hour+ that we are there. When she was younger I took little snacks, quiet toys and books. Now that she's 3 and in preschool I just take coloring/marker books.
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/13/2008 10:20:20 PM
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W.O.F.
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you might bring lace up cards (you can make your own out of old birthday cards, a hole punch and a short piece of yarn tied to the card), small quiet toys (we like silly putty for our kids), picture books (ones that have textures in them are especially nice....they LOVE to feel the stuff).
The biggest thing? Don't stress over it. As long as she is not being LOUD and I do mean LOUD LOUD LOUD.....why worry about it?
Take her out if she gets too loud...even if it is a small walk around the bldg and then back. Maybe put her between yourself and hubby to help curb the wandering....
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Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/15/2008 7:55:39 PM
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Focusing
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I'm always amazed how some kids sit still for that long ... but I've observed parents who have succeeded: they bring a special bag with them that includes paper and maybe a coloring book, along with pencils and crayons, and use those to keep their little ones occupied.
Also, sit towards the back so you can make a quick trip out to the lobby if necessary without disturbing too many people. Our church has speakers in the lobby (as well as a monitor) so parents don't have to miss out if they need to give their kids a place to run off some excess energy.
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There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/17/2008 7:13:11 PM
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Leslie_JnJs_mom
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quote:
I'm always amazed how some kids sit still for that long ... but I've observed parents who have succeeded: they bring a special bag with them that includes paper and maybe a coloring book, along with pencils and crayons, and use those to keep their little ones occupied.
The funny thing about Jessica is when I give her paper and crayons, pencils or whatever else I have she wants me to do the writing or coloring while she watches.
_____________________________
<------- Jessica and I had so much fun with grandma!
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/17/2008 7:26:42 PM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Leslie_JnJs_mom
The funny thing about Jessica is when I give her paper and crayons, pencils or whatever else I have she wants me to do the writing or coloring while she watches.
Is that what she does at home too or only at church?
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/17/2008 8:56:52 PM
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Bowies_in_Space
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If only she was 2 1/2 years younger. Than I would've suggested blowing on her face until she can't vocalize much of anything.
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/18/2008 11:02:32 AM
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Leslie_JnJs_mom
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: Leslie_JnJs_mom
The funny thing about Jessica is when I give her paper and crayons, pencils or whatever else I have she wants me to do the writing or coloring while she watches.
Is that what she does at home too or only at church?
All the time. Sometimes that gets so old!! She also brings her dollies out and wants to watch me dress them. It was funny when my mom was out here she found that out real quick. I got home from a date night with my DH, my mom said that Jessica likes to brink out games, puzzles and coloring books only to watch me do them. Yep that is my Jessica!
_____________________________
<------- Jessica and I had so much fun with grandma!
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/18/2008 2:21:39 PM
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locomom
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Our daughter stayed in church with us at age 3 because she was not allowed in the children's program since she was still in diapers. (Yes that's for real.) What we did was sit her between us or on one of our laps. We explained things to her (in whispers) and at home we taught her the first verses to the hymns that were commonly sung. We were pretty successful because she felt that regular church included her. Of the two things we did, I think her early ability to sing the hymns did the most. We also brought things to do. When she was older (8-9) we brought 1 piece of candy that she could have if she did reasonably well before the sermon. Then she could read her Bible during the sermon (a larger print Bible with a moderate amount of pictures.
P.S. In all the years we sang the first verse of a hymn each day, I never anticipated how much benefit I would get out of it. I encourage anyone to do it. You will be really blessed!
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/18/2008 2:44:28 PM
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biblecat
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We are able to choose where we want our son. He's 3 1/2 but VEY active. We might try to have him sit with us in the next few months. At this point though we feel it's just unfair for him (and us).
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/18/2008 4:02:56 PM
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isaacsmom
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We are keeping our 3 y.o. out of the nursery on Sunday evenings now. We want him to learn to be in the service. He enjoys the singing, which is great. When the sermon starts, if he gets fidgety I pull out his toy cars, paper, crayons, dry cereal or raisins, etc. and tell him to play quietly. He stays pretty occupied and quiet. We sit near the front on Sunday mornings, but on Sunday evenings we sit on the back row so we don't disrupt anyone and I can take the kids out of the sanctuary discreetly if need be. BTW, we also have a 20 month old and she is receiving the same training. I keep small baby dolls in the bag along with paper and crayons and a snack for her.
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/20/2008 9:03:41 AM
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W.O.F.
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Focusing
I'm always amazed how some kids sit still for that long ... but I've observed parents who have succeeded: they bring a special bag with them that includes paper and maybe a coloring book, along with pencils and crayons, and use those to keep their little ones occupied.
Also, sit towards the back so you can make a quick trip out to the lobby if necessary without disturbing too many people. Our church has speakers in the lobby (as well as a monitor) so parents don't have to miss out if they need to give their kids a place to run off some excess energy.
We actually found sitting closer to the front helps.....they can see what is going on...and that keeps them interested during songs, etc so that all they really have to sit through is the sermon and the serious parts of service.
we sit close to the outside aisle though...it is less disruptive if we must take them out if done along the outside aisle.
_____________________________
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh no, she's awake."
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RE: Teaching a 3 year old to sit still through church - 9/20/2008 1:23:37 PM
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zoebob
Posts: 8767
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From: land of limbo
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quote:
ORIGINAL: W.O.F.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Focusing
I'm always amazed how some kids sit still for that long ... but I've observed parents who have succeeded: they bring a special bag with them that includes paper and maybe a coloring book, along with pencils and crayons, and use those to keep their little ones occupied.
Also, sit towards the back so you can make a quick trip out to the lobby if necessary without disturbing too many people. Our church has speakers in the lobby (as well as a monitor) so parents don't have to miss out if they need to give their kids a place to run off some excess energy.
We actually found sitting closer to the front helps.....they can see what is going on...and that keeps them interested during songs, etc so that all they really have to sit through is the sermon and the serious parts of service.
we sit close to the outside aisle though...it is less disruptive if we must take them out if done along the outside aisle.
I agree WOF. I grew up as a PK whose mom played piano. We had to sit in the second row so that they could keep an eye on us. I find it much easier for them to pay attention when they are up front and less likely to need to leave. Even now, if I'm not up front I feel like I'm not really there and might as well be at home watching on TV. I can't imagine for a kid who can't see over people's heads.
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L-R: Ellies DD1, Ellies DD2, DS, Ellies DS3
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You could make up a cloth bag for her "For Church Only". A little Bible story book, a pad and pencil, maybe a dolly, and a little baggie of cheerios. 
