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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 3:37:56 PM
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SweetPea213
Posts: 63
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quote:
ORIGINAL: garsyt quote:
ORIGINAL: Mrs.X I think that lady who came in here and flamed Garsy for the pharmacy incident, MUST be joking, so I won't even acknowledge what she said to me. My guess is that if Jesus were there at the pharmacy right then, he might have tried to cheer the kids up.....or just healed them. LOL Thanks Stina! You would not believe how hard it was for me to hold it together that day. All night up with the kids, emergency dr visit, and a trip to the only blasted pharmacy that took our insurance at the time and they didn't have a drive-up or I would have used it. Oh and the trouble figuring out which med would work as I have a child with medication allergies too. If Jesus had walked into that pharmacy that day and laid his hands on my kids and healed them - it is likely you would not have been able to drag me away from his feet for NOTHING! SweetPea - since you seem to have things all figured out, HOW would have YOU dealt with that situation given the above information, and the fact that the two in pain were 6 months and almost 2 at the time, and both in severe pain with double ear infections? I'm serious here. I want to know how easy it is. Blessings, Garsy Here's what I would have done in your situation: 1). I would have taken the kids to the doctors office. 2). GO HOME. 3). Administer Infants Tylenol for pain relief. 4). When my husband came, I would give him the rx to go to the pharmacy, while I stayed at home and took care of the kids. 5). Husband gets rx's. The both of us make sure the kids get their medicine.
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"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." ~ 1 Peter 2:24
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 3:43:12 PM
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SweetPea213
Posts: 63
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GregandJenny quote:
1). Incident at the Pharmacy--If your child is screaming at the top of their little lungs, and is clearly being a HUGE annoynace to the others around you, then it is YOUR job as the parent to shut the kid up, regardless of the cause. Child hurting or not, pain is not an excuse to let your kid act out in public. I don't think screaming in pain is acting out. I think it is inconsiderate of you to suggest a parent to shut a kid up for acting out when obviously they are getting medicine to make the child well. mind you were not talking about a restaurant where you're paying money to eat and relax were talking about a chore getting, getting some pills. In fact I would rather listen to a screaming child in a pharmacy then have someone caugh and sneeze on me. quote:
You don't need to have a kid to know how to raise one. It's all God given instincts and common sense. Unfortunately, not everyone has the latter. WOW. What an insult. I am gonna tell you this, almost every post on this forum made by these parents (I am not a parent yet) show that they care and they want the best for their children not just in this moment, but for this life. They strive to raise their children in the ways of the Lord. If you don't know that you haven't been around here long enough to say anything. Oh and your post count only says 18 posts. Hmmmm. G So because I'm a relatively new member, my opinion somehow doesn't mean as much? Nice. Between classes, homework, studing for exams quizzes, a campus orginization that I'm involved in, I don't exactly have time to reply to every single thread (I'm a full time university student with a double major).
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"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." ~ 1 Peter 2:24
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 3:53:30 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6025
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SweetPea213 1). I would have taken the kids to the doctors office. 2). GO HOME. 3). Administer Infants Tylenol for pain relief. 4). When my husband came, I would give him the rx to go to the pharmacy, while I stayed at home and took care of the kids. 5). Husband gets rx's. The both of us make sure the kids get their medicine. So you'd potentially make your children wait ALL DAY for meds that they needed right away (ear infections are SERIOUS)? I wouldn't.
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 4:00:05 PM
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CoeurdeLeon_
Posts: 9470
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SweetPea213 quote:
ORIGINAL: garsyt quote:
ORIGINAL: Mrs.X I think that lady who came in here and flamed Garsy for the pharmacy incident, MUST be joking, so I won't even acknowledge what she said to me. My guess is that if Jesus were there at the pharmacy right then, he might have tried to cheer the kids up.....or just healed them. LOL Thanks Stina! You would not believe how hard it was for me to hold it together that day. All night up with the kids, emergency dr visit, and a trip to the only blasted pharmacy that took our insurance at the time and they didn't have a drive-up or I would have used it. Oh and the trouble figuring out which med would work as I have a child with medication allergies too. If Jesus had walked into that pharmacy that day and laid his hands on my kids and healed them - it is likely you would not have been able to drag me away from his feet for NOTHING! SweetPea - since you seem to have things all figured out, HOW would have YOU dealt with that situation given the above information, and the fact that the two in pain were 6 months and almost 2 at the time, and both in severe pain with double ear infections? I'm serious here. I want to know how easy it is. Blessings, Garsy Here's what I would have done in your situation: 1). I would have taken the kids to the doctors office. 2). GO HOME. 3). Administer Infants Tylenol for pain relief. 4). When my husband came, I would give him the rx to go to the pharmacy, while I stayed at home and took care of the kids. 5). Husband gets rx's. The both of us make sure the kids get their medicine. quote:
ORIGINAL: garsyt I couldn't depend on my husband to get it for me as he was out of town on a business trip. You'd have waited DAYS to get your children their medication? Get back to us when you have 4 kids, okay?
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This morning I was awakened by the sound of purple colliding with the fragrance of laughter. Eutychus 10.13.08
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 4:35:38 PM
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GregandJenny
Posts: 615
Joined: 2/16/2006
From: Near Seattle Washington
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Sweatpea, There is a whole lot of difference between a child crying because his ear hurts and a child throwing a tantrum. There is also a difference between getting a necessity (as antibiotics) and going to a nice dinner. There is also a difference between hands on knowledge and book knowledge. G
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 5:03:35 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2675
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SweetPea213 quote:
ORIGINAL: GregandJenny quote:
1). Incident at the Pharmacy--If your child is screaming at the top of their little lungs, and is clearly being a HUGE annoynace to the others around you, then it is YOUR job as the parent to shut the kid up, regardless of the cause. Child hurting or not, pain is not an excuse to let your kid act out in public. I don't think screaming in pain is acting out. I think it is inconsiderate of you to suggest a parent to shut a kid up for acting out when obviously they are getting medicine to make the child well. mind you were not talking about a restaurant where you're paying money to eat and relax were talking about a chore getting, getting some pills. In fact I would rather listen to a screaming child in a pharmacy then have someone caugh and sneeze on me. quote:
You don't need to have a kid to know how to raise one. It's all God given instincts and common sense. Unfortunately, not everyone has the latter. WOW. What an insult. I am gonna tell you this, almost every post on this forum made by these parents (I am not a parent yet) show that they care and they want the best for their children not just in this moment, but for this life. They strive to raise their children in the ways of the Lord. If you don't know that you haven't been around here long enough to say anything. Oh and your post count only says 18 posts. Hmmmm. G So because I'm a relatively new member, my opinion somehow doesn't mean as much? Nice. Between classes, homework, studing for exams quizzes, a campus orginization that I'm involved in, I don't exactly have time to reply to every single thread (I'm a full time university student with a double major). Sweet Pea, no one is saying you're opinion doesn't count just because you're a new member....ln fact, welcome to the threads.... And, if you peek into a certain other thread in this folder, you would see I have several posts discussing the fact that I firmly believe that just because someone is single and with out kids, or married without kids doesn't mean their insights should automatically dismissed (I have no children of my own, though I've worked with so many kids over the years, I couldn't even count anymore), however, even though I don't want my INSIGHTS dismissed, I still try hard not to be JUDGEMENTAL of people who are parents.....at least most of the time...there is some things some famous parents do that I don't agree with..but in a way, if they choose to let themselves be famous, they choose to let people form opinions of them...and even regarding those families, I still don't think parenting is EASY...but this thread wasn't about famous parents..it was about normal every day families. Parenting just is not easy, no matter which way you slice it. And whether it is in regards to parenting or anything else, I don't think it is ever fair to assume or announce that anyone else's life is "easy." Only God knows the whole story and the ins and outs and ups and downs of each person's life and circumstance. You just mentioned your University schedule. How would it make you feel if someone told you that was easy? All the parents that have posted here are good parents (in so far as I know from a message board, I haven't met any of them in person)..sometimes it's hard for parents to win....if they're kids aren't controlled enough, that will bother someone, but then if they're too hard on their kids, that bothers someone else..plus these days in public, a parent has to be VERY careful...they never know when some busybody will call CPS on them for saing Boo to their kid.. I completely agree that people like you and me shouldn't be disrespected just because we don't have children, but it's ONLY FAIR to EQUALLY respect those who do, and we CAN learn from them. But if people like you and I start calling judgement on parents, or making blanket statements that aren't well thought out, then parents won't WANT to respect us, and I wouldn't blame them.
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Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 5:16:04 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2675
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels I'm glad we live in a society where there are children around....I'd much rather be in the U.S. and hear a baby fuss once in a while then be in some society where I only saw adults. That would be sad. I will say that in Germany, you don't see children as much, in places that are geared towards adults. Small children generally aren't seen in nice restaurants, late night movies or a formal concert. It's not because the Germans don't love their children, they just don't take children at an even where adult behavior is expected, when children are not capable of adult behavior. Of course you see children at basic shopping areas, but that's completely different. I think the Germans have the right idea. They take good care of their children and they do discipline, but if they are going to the theater, they hire a sitter or stay at home when the kids are small. Children have their place, except here in America, where their place is everywhere. Actually, none of the parents in this thread justified keeping a non calm child in a restaurant or a theater...all of the examples given were church, grocery store, and pharmacy. I don't think parents in the U.S. are necessarily dense about where kids don't belong..when I went to the Messiah in Washington D.C., there wasn't a baby or a child there. Every time I've ever gone to the movies here in my town, the youngest child I've ever seen is 4, and that was only at Charlotte's web. Some movies I've gone to, and haven't seen any kids. And the previews here even say that if your baby is crying, you have to take it out. The two nicest restaurants in our town are The Purple Potato and ______'s Steakhouse..I've never seen kids at The Purple Potato, and only once at the second place did I see kids...it was at lunch, and it was 3 little girls and they were all well behaved. There are places that aren't for kids..just like adults don't belong in certain spots (an adult sittting in a high chair would look pretty funny)..but I just haven't seen too many people not know the difference.. One place I love to see kids is weddings, but others think that's a no kid zone...although a screaming baby should be taken out of the ceremony.. So some places are a matter of opinion.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 9/11/2008 5:37:28 PM >
_____________________________
Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 5:27:44 PM
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doinkdom
Posts: 4279
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
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The Purple Potato that's just funny
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 5:36:19 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2675
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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I thought it was a funny name at first, too, but I'm used to it now..and it really is a nice restaurant with GREAT service (it can be hard to find that around here)...and there really are purple potatos..which is what they got the name from.
_____________________________
Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 6:29:53 PM
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kohls356
Posts: 364
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SweetPea213 quote:
ORIGINAL: garsyt quote:
ORIGINAL: Mrs.X I think that lady who came in here and flamed Garsy for the pharmacy incident, MUST be joking, so I won't even acknowledge what she said to me. My guess is that if Jesus were there at the pharmacy right then, he might have tried to cheer the kids up.....or just healed them. LOL Thanks Stina! You would not believe how hard it was for me to hold it together that day. All night up with the kids, emergency dr visit, and a trip to the only blasted pharmacy that took our insurance at the time and they didn't have a drive-up or I would have used it. Oh and the trouble figuring out which med would work as I have a child with medication allergies too. If Jesus had walked into that pharmacy that day and laid his hands on my kids and healed them - it is likely you would not have been able to drag me away from his feet for NOTHING! SweetPea - since you seem to have things all figured out, HOW would have YOU dealt with that situation given the above information, and the fact that the two in pain were 6 months and almost 2 at the time, and both in severe pain with double ear infections? I'm serious here. I want to know how easy it is. Blessings, Garsy Here's what I would have done in your situation: 1). I would have taken the kids to the doctors office. 2). GO HOME. 3). Administer Infants Tylenol for pain relief. 4). When my husband came, I would give him the rx to go to the pharmacy, while I stayed at home and took care of the kids. 5). Husband gets rx's. The both of us make sure the kids get their medicine. I can't imagine too many parents who would do it that way. 1. The appointment is in the morning so you would make your child wait all day to start treating your child. 2. What if home is 30 miles from the doctors office and the pharmacy? Better to just endure the crying and get the meds while in town. 3. A lot of parents probably are already doing that, it might take the edge of the pain off but not all of it. 4. What if the husband is out of town on business or doesn't get home until too late to get back out to the pharmacy. I am lucky that I live in an area that has 24 hours pharmacies. Not everyone is so fortunate. I do not believe you have to have children in order to have an opinion or knowledge on certain things, but then there are things that you just have to been there done that to fully understand and offer practical useful advice. I can't imagine being upset with a sick child who is crying. I admit the older I get the less patience I have for tantrums and crying screaming children. But I do remember what it is like and try my hardest not to judge the mother. From what I remember I sure wasn't enjoying the tantrum myself.
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 6:38:53 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6284
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
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A place called The Purple Potato really should allow children, lol. Harold, at least. I know a 3 yo girl. On Tuesday night she walked into her dad's class bawling her eyes out. Her mother needed to set up for class, so I picked her up and rubbed her back and asked her what was wrong. However, she was too far gone to explain herself. Then Jossie took her from me (Jossie the Baby Magnet, I call her, although Rachel, the 3 yo, will tell me, 'Jossie NOT a baby!' LOL) and rubbed her back and asked her what was wrong, but she STILL could not answer...because she was three, and her heart had just been broken, because she had to leave her new kitten because it wasn't ready to come home with her yet. So, was she throwing a fit? I guess so, since ultimately she was upset that she didn't get her way. But she's three and lacks the emotional maturity and self control to have handled the situation in any other way, especially in the evening. Thankfully she was around people who understood that children are children. Even the Bible says kids behave childishly.
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 6:49:39 PM
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reach
Posts: 1365
Joined: 4/12/2005
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I most certainally would not do it that way. Especially since our pharmacy is next door to the Dr's office. That would be a waste of time. But we have it easy these days. Our Dr calls in the prescription, and by the time we get to the pharmacy, it is usually ready. We don't have to wait much anymore.
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 6:51:35 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 9536
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quote:
ORIGINAL: doinkdom quote:
ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2 Kat & Doikdom..... not every child responds to things the same way....that way might work for some, but for others it is giving them exactly what they wanted and that isn't teaching them that their rebellion won't fly, instead if it feeding into it. I also do not agree that every tantrum is out of rebellion....I have seen too many with my kids to believe that EVERY TIME it is rebellion....there are many other factors that have been brought up in here already that could actually be the root cause of the tantrum....some of which would be..... physically tired, emotionally exhausted, not understanding the situation, being sick.... I would not say that EVERY situation is caused by rebellion....sometimes the root problem is one of the heart, but sometimes it's not. What better opportunity to teach a child about self-control and work on our natural selfish nature? Maybe that's just me. Anyways...Each parental unit is different, therefore each disciplinary method is different and besides, diversity in the body is aways good. for some kids and moments, sure...for others it will only make the moment worse...and not everything is about them being selfish quote:
So because I'm a relatively new member, my opinion somehow doesn't mean as much? Nice. what she said was that because you are a new poster and have not talked with us parents in here before you don't really know us...and therefore shouldn't judge us so harshly. quote:
I don't think parents in the U.S. are necessarily dense about where kids don't belong.. maybe not, but having lived in Germany I can tell you it is a totally different mentality then here in the US.
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 7:05:57 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3717
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2 quote:
I don't think parents in the U.S. are necessarily dense about where kids don't belong.. maybe not, but having lived in Germany I can tell you it is a totally different mentality then here in the US.[/color] Indeed. Far, far different. I wasn't trying to imply that US parents are dense or that anyone here was advocating taking a 2 year old to a 5 star restaurant, but parents here are still a lot more free to drag their kid to quite a few places considered very inappropriate in other western countries. As far as the pharmacy example, that is pretty ludicrous to expect to wait all day to treat a serious ear infection (never mind the fact that the person's husband was out of town and she couldn't get her normal babysitters). Tylenol can only do so much, and I don't see what's the big deal about hearing a child cry at a pharmacy. Seriously, it's not like you are there to enjoy yourself. But my pharmacy is literally across the hall from my peds office. It's in the same building, but about 20 minutes from my house. In what universe does it make sense to not get essential medications right then and there? No adult would deny themself medications, but it's okay to deny a child the medication they need?
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 7:13:34 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2675
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways quote:
ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2 quote:
I don't think parents in the U.S. are necessarily dense about where kids don't belong.. maybe not, but having lived in Germany I can tell you it is a totally different mentality then here in the US.[/color] Indeed. Far, far different. I wasn't trying to imply that US parents are dense or that anyone here was advocating taking a 2 year old to a 5 star restaurant, but parents here are still a lot more free to drag their kid to quite a few places considered very inappropriate in other western countries. OK, well thanks for clarifying.
_____________________________
Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 7:15:19 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2675
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
quote: I don't think parents in the U.S. are necessarily dense about where kids don't belong.. maybe not, but having lived in Germany I can tell you it is a totally different mentality then here in the US. In a good way or a bad way? Or just different? I'm not trying to ask that in a bad way, I'm just genuinely interested.
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Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 7:30:16 PM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 4986
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From: Formerly Jesus Land
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I really can't think of a time when my kids had an outright tantrum. They might have, but I might have forgotten by now. I have had times, especially as babies, when they were crying in a public place, but not because of a tantrum. When that happened I did the best I could to calm them, such as feed them, and if they were being disruptive, I'd try and take them somewhere if I could.
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 7:32:09 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 9536
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels quote:
quote: I don't think parents in the U.S. are necessarily dense about where kids don't belong.. maybe not, but having lived in Germany I can tell you it is a totally different mentality then here in the US. In a good way or a bad way? Or just different? I'm not trying to ask that in a bad way, I'm just genuinely interested. some good...some bad. I will elaborate on some things I saw having lived there recently..... GOOD: life seems to be much simpler there then it is here....the pace of life, the choices in life, etc. They still close most stuff down on Sundays and have a family day of rest. They don't overwork themselves putting in 60-80 hour work weeks like we tend to do here. You don't see people there living "above their means". You also don't see "things" as being much more then that, where as here they have become a status symbol. Just in general life is simpler...they don't let too much complicate their lives. BAD: They generally have a high regard for children, but not for lots of children. They seem to have a predetermined notion that families should only have one or two....maybe three, but thats pushing it. Above that, even if the kids are sitting down quiet and still as statues, they still take offense to it in some ways. There are lots of things that their society seems to push...one being the "seen and not heard" mentality. While I don't agree with the new generation's mentality over here of entitlement, I also don't fully agree with the "seen and not heard" mentality. I think both are extremes and both foster a mentality of abuse...just on opposite ends of the spectrum. If I had a choice, I would choose the slower pace of life in Germany though...I really loved it there. The biggest problem with being there was just not having family near enough...I mean, here we aren't by family either, but they are closer and can visit easier.
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 8:32:30 PM
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Sideways
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Sarah pretty much nailed it, on both the good and the bad. I'll add that when I was there, teachers of children, even the very little ones, were also held in high regard. An elderly lady might brag to her friends that her son was a teacher, much the same way that a mother would brag here about her son being a doctor. I loved Germany so much. The children there weren't snobs; they didn't turn on you like a pack of wild dogs, if you didn't immediately do what the top dogs told you was cool. So, my perspective came as an older child living there. I had a hard time adjusting to the "kill or be killed" attitude that seems so prevalent in America's kids (not saying anyone here has kids like that, it's just my own personal experience).
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RE: Non-Parent Opinion on Temper Tantrums - 9/11/2008 9:06:31 PM
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SweetPea213
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