RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Message To Christian Women?
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 11:58:05 AM
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gaylel1
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quote:
I don't think so. How Christ like would we be if we shunned a teenage girl just because she's pregnant? Mind you I have experience in this and it can truly make a bad situation worse. IF these girls make mistakes then they need to be shown love as well as consequences to their actions.
True, and I agree. However, what I'm afraid of is that now when they see people getting pregnant, christian teenagers will think, if this indivisual can have sex before marriage and get pregnant, well, I can do it too w/o the consequences. While I agree we have to show grace to these young women, we have to let people know too that (Is it true that Jesus said that go and sin no more?) people need to flee fornication and not play around with the world.
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 12:30:06 PM
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letusreason
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
True, and I agree. However, what I'm afraid of is that now when they see people getting pregnant, christian teenagers will think, if this indivisual can have sex before marriage and get pregnant, well, I can do it too w/o the consequences.
I'm curious who do you mean by "they" and "people"? Can you be more specific please?
I think there are plenty of cases in every high school across America for girls to see the consequences without having to take their cues from TV celebreties on this. Don't you?
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 12:32:14 PM
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Tinkerbell_
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While it sounds good in theory, how do you suggest it be done? Should pregnant teenagers suffer more than they already do? Should they be made examples of? Should they stand in the town square and let mother's walk by with their elementary children and say, "See her, Bobby? This is what happens when you have sex before marriage."?
I'm not quite understanding what you want done for teenagers who AREN'T having sex.
Did you think that perhaps the opposite should happen? Notice those teens who ARE abstaining until marriage?
Did you know that Booke Shields was a virgin before she married Andre Aggasi? Probably not because that is taboo these days.
I think this is one of those cases where we need to focus on the positive instead of the negative. Mistakes are made and self guilt is ten times worse than you could ever think of heaping onto a person, yet from what I understand this is what you wish to do?
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 12:38:15 PM
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stampinlady
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quote:
We can try to protect and educate our children to what scripture says, but the choice is theirs.
Very true. There are no guarentee that our children will choose what's right.
I don't think the movie Juno helped either. My 14 yr. old daughter wanted to see it, but I wasn't comfortable letting. I felt it made teen pregnancy and sex outside of marrige look like no big deal and it is a big deal.
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 12:54:05 PM
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GregandJenny
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quote:
rue, and I agree. However, what I'm afraid of is that now when they see people getting pregnant, christian teenagers will think, if this indivisual can have sex before marriage and get pregnant, well, I can do it too w/o the consequences. While I agree we have to show grace to these young women, we have to let people know too that (Is it true that Jesus said that go and sin no more?) people need to flee fornication and not play around with the world.
It's not the worlds responsibility to make choices for another person. Christians women (girls) have to be responsible for their actions too. If we would ground our kids in the Word rather than the World then they would have a firm foundation. I think us as Christians have moved away from the real foundation. We use books and this author has this philosophy and this one has that. Our Christian kids can repeat the lyrics to a rap song but can't even quote John 3:16. Until the church puts the bible back into a place of authority Christians will not be any different. Teenage girls will act like the rest, foolish.
G
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 1:21:43 PM
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gaylel1
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While it sounds good in theory, how do you suggest it be done? Should pregnant teenagers suffer more than they already do?[/quote]
Yes, people can make mistakes, but at the same time, mistakes can be avoided by not giving into compoming situations. Yes, we all live in sin--I realize it and it is no news to anyone here. I don't think pregnant teens should suffer, but those who are not engaging in sexual relations would learn from their experience and have the power not to do what they did.
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 1:27:58 PM
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GregandJenny
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quote:
Yes, people can make mistakes, but at the same time, mistakes can be avoided by not giving into compoming situations. Yes, we all live in sin--I realize it and it is no news to anyone here. I don't think pregnant teens should suffer, but those who are not engaging in sexual relations would learn from their experience and have the power not to do what they did.
how do we do that. How do we stop people from making the choices they make. People have the choice. what do you expect us to do?
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 1:44:06 PM
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letusreason
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quote:
ORIGINAL: letusreason
quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
True, and I agree. However, what I'm afraid of is that now when they see people getting pregnant, christian teenagers will think, if this indivisual can have sex before marriage and get pregnant, well, I can do it too w/o the consequences.
I'm curious who do you mean by "they" and "people"? Can you be more specific please?
I think there are plenty of cases in every high school across America for girls to see the consequences without having to take their cues from TV celebreties on this. Don't you?
The reason I ask (and evidently not getting a response to) is that you have judgementally criticized Governor Palin on the other threads for being a "failed parent" unfairly because her daughter was pregnant.
I just can't help but think this thread was started as a passive agressive swipe at defaming her selection as McCain's VP as it coincided with the same news about her daughter on TV .
Other people here can click on your name to view your other posts if they want and decide for themsevles.
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 2:18:50 PM
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gaylel1
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GregandJenny
quote:
Yes, people can make mistakes, but at the same time, mistakes can be avoided by not giving into compoming situations. Yes, we all live in sin--I realize it and it is no news to anyone here. I don't think pregnant teens should suffer, but those who are not engaging in sexual relations would learn from their experience and have the power not to do what they did.
quote:
how do we do that. How do we stop people from making the choices they make. People have the choice. what do you expect us to do?
How do we do that Greg? By praying for these teens--praying that God will help them make decisions that will honor our lord and pray that they won't fall into compomise. And also pray for their parents that the Lord will give them wisdom to tell their teenagers the right way and the wrong way. And maybe if we try to be mentors and be a godly example to these teenagers, that will inspire them not to do the wrong thing and do what it right in the eyes of the Lord.
I work with children, and this year in my Sunday night group, I will be working with 5th graders. This is the age where these girls will be most vunable now because they pick up things from the televison shows they watch and the music they listen to. I pray for protection for these girls because the enemy wants to destroy them with bad influences. I also pray for their parents as well.
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 2:46:26 PM
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letusreason
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But again, isn't it your belief that if the teens get pregnant , its because the parent failed them?
And if so , do you think their parents are unfit for public office because it sends the wrong message?
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 2:47:35 PM
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GregandJenny
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quote:
How do we do that Greg? By praying for these teens--praying that God will help them make decisions that will honor our lord and pray that they won't fall into compomise. And also pray for their parents that the Lord will give them wisdom to tell their teenagers the right way and the wrong way. And maybe if we try to be mentors and be a godly example to these teenagers, that will inspire them not to do the wrong thing and do what it right in the eyes of the Lord.
I understand that,. but in other posts you have said that it's bad parenting from parents and bad examples to the church kids to see this. If a parent does everything right sets Godly example, takes the kids to church, has a relationship with them doesn't mean that a kid in the heat of the moment won't have sex. Somewhere along the line the child (especially being 17) has to take responsibility for their own actions. I believe This girl had a godly example. I believe that she got an urge too, and when things start happening no one thinks of the results. Not bad parenting a bad choice.
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 2:53:29 PM
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gaylel1
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quote:
The reason I ask (and evidently not getting a response to) is that you have judgementally criticized Governor Palin on the other threads for being a "failed parent" unfairly because her daughter was pregnant.
I'm not going to fight with you, Let Us Reason, because it is not the place to do that. If you want to address me directly, please I suggest you use the P.M instead of starting a fight here in a public forum.
quote:
I just can't help but think this thread was started as a passive agressive swipe at defaming her selection as McCain's VP as it coincided with the same news about her daughter on TV .
Defaming someone? that is a new one on me here. Just because I said she was a "failed parent", it does not mean that I hate the woman, or are you suggesting that too? We all fail at life. Parents fail, children fail, we all fail. we all fall short like everyone else.
But thank you for your opinion..
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 2:54:54 PM
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stampinlady
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quote:
If a parent does everything right sets Godly example, takes the kids to church, has a relationship with them doesn't mean that a kid in the heat of the moment won't have sex. Somewhere along the line the child (especially being 17) has to take responsibility for their own actions. I believe This girl had a godly example. I believe that she got an urge too, and when things start happening no one thinks of the results. Not bad parenting a bad choice.
Well worth repeating.
I think there is a group of Godly believers who believe that if they do all the right things nothing bad will ever happen to them. But real life ain't like that. Does God forces himself on us? No, he gives us a choice. We are to do our best to help our children make good choices.
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 3:04:44 PM
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gaylel1
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GregandJenny
quote:
How do we do that Greg? By praying for these teens--praying that God will help them make decisions that will honor our lord and pray that they won't fall into compomise. And also pray for their parents that the Lord will give them wisdom to tell their teenagers the right way and the wrong way. And maybe if we try to be mentors and be a godly example to these teenagers, that will inspire them not to do the wrong thing and do what it right in the eyes of the Lord.
I understand that,. but in other posts you have said that it's bad parenting from parents and bad examples to the church kids to see this. If a parent does everything right sets Godly example, takes the kids to church, has a relationship with them doesn't mean that a kid in the heat of the moment won't have sex. Somewhere along the line the child (especially being 17) has to take responsibility for their own actions. I believe This girl had a godly example. I believe that she got an urge too, and when things start happening no one thinks of the results. Not bad parenting a bad choice.
Yes, the child also has to take responsblity, agreed? But the parents in some point do have to take some responbity too for their underage children.
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 3:08:39 PM
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GregandJenny
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what would you suggest a parent do to keep their 17 year old kid from making stupid mistakes?
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 3:24:30 PM
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stampinlady
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quote:
But the parents in some point do have to take some responbity too for their underage children.
How?
How do you know that parents aren't taking responsability? Where's the proof that they are just sitting on their butts doin' nothin' ? What makes you think these parents aren't beaating themselves up on the inside?
Dh have had discussion about this since our kids are getting in their teens years and we've come to the conclusion that we'd support them and encourge them to marry and live with us. We'd help them finish school and go from there. What in the world should we do?
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 3:31:43 PM
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zamdad
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Gayle, like I said before, I too am having trouble following you on this. I didn't want to go here with this, but I got the sense that this had to do with Palin's daughter mre than the celebs you mentioned with them. Afterall, no one outside Alaska knew who Sarah Palin was until last week and then the media went nuts looking for anything they could to create juicy headlines. It seems that this could be more of a discussion about how media headlines influence how we see the world than about teenage sexual behavior.
I am also having difficulty following where you are going with your use of the terms "they," "people," and "the church." IN my attempts to understand you and add to the discussion I have mentioned that we, each and every one of us, are the church and that we have families and that we have to live out what we say we believe within our homes. As someone who has worked directly with people and their problems for many years, it seems to me that we (the church) have not lived out the values we say we believe in. Is it any wonder so many of our kids stray away from the church after they leave home? All too often the message kids get from parents is do what I say, not what I do.
Another factor to consider: As a corporate entity we, the church, tend to seperate the generations in the way we teach. If we, the church, are going to help teens live lives that honor God, we have to reach their parents too. Why not get parents and teens together to gain an understanding of each others perspectives and form a common bond for them to share with each other?
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 3:46:04 PM
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letusreason
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
quote:
The reason I ask (and evidently not getting a response to) is that you have judgementally criticized Governor Palin on the other threads for being a "failed parent" unfairly because her daughter was pregnant.
I'm not going to fight with you, Let Us Reason, because it is not the place to do that. If you want to address me directly, please I suggest you use the P.M instead of starting a fight here in a public forum.
quote:
I just can't help but think this thread was started as a passive agressive swipe at defaming her selection as McCain's VP as it coincided with the same news about her daughter on TV .
Defaming someone? that is a new one on me here. Just because I said she was a "failed parent", it does not mean that I hate the woman, or are you suggesting that too? We all fail at life. Parents fail, children fail, we all fail. we all fall short like everyone else.
But thank you for your opinion..
I didn't mention the word "hate".
I'm just wanting to know more about your views and what you think.
Would you ever tell a parent to their face they failed because they have a pregnant teen?
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 7:52:31 PM
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TrustingGod
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I'm a parent. I'm a good parent. I've made many mistakes in my parenting. If my son chooses to have sex, it is NOT my fault or the fault of my parenting. It is HIS CHOICE to do something that I've taught him is not right.
If we were discussing a 10 year old boy who punched another 10 year old boy out of anger, is that due to failed parenting?
Sin is sin. Sex outside marriage is no different than any other act of disobedience. Let's not elevate sexual immorality higher than any other sin. People (adults and children) make mistakes - I'm thankful God is big enough to forgive ANY sin.
PaleHawkWoman - I like your approach - awesome. If more parents did this, I believe more kids would follow your kids' examples. I admit, we taught our son sex ed but not to the extent you did. Will certainly encourage him to teach my grandchildren more thoroughly!
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 9:31:13 PM
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SonInMe1
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quote:
I had the wisdom to realize that teens will often rebel and do things they have been taught not to do, and I wanted my kids to at least know how to prevent an unplanned pregnancy or keep from contracting an STD.
The thing about teaching your kids about birth control...which I believe they probably already know...is...how can you expect a teen, in the moment of passion...to stop and apply birth control...when they cannot keep their rooms clean?
If they rebel in this area there will be consequences and helping them to avoid the consequences is not what a mature parent should be doing.
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You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 9:47:05 PM
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Sideways
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SonInMe1
The thing about teaching your kids about birth control...which I believe they probably already know...is...how can you expect a teen, in the moment of passion...to stop and apply birth control...when they cannot keep their rooms clean?
If they rebel in this area there will be consequences and helping them to avoid the consequences is not what a mature parent should be doing.
My husband is well into his thirties, and he still has trouble keeping his room clean, but he never, ever forgot to stop and put on a condom, even when we were college kids.
Everyone here agrees that abstinence should be taught as the best, 100% accurate way to avoid said consequences, but there is just no good argument for deliberately not teaching teens about birth control - how it works, how it can fail, and how to use it properly to reduce the chances of failure.
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 9:48:15 PM
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TrustingGod
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SonInMe1, teaching your kids about birth control is not just helping to avoid consequences. It is teaching them responsibility. If a person chooses to have sex, it is the responsible course to use birth control and other means to avoid STDs.
Will they use the information? I can't say -- you have a valid point there. But it is my job to give them the info..it is their job to use it.
If I tell my child not to go into the room of a person with a contagious disease, is this immature? If he insists on going in, I'll tell him to wear a mask, wash his hands, stay as far away from the person as possible. I'm teaching him to avoid the consequences of the contagious disease (regardless of whether I agree with his decision). Actually I'm being very mature - teaching him to use wisdom when making any decision. Just because his decisions aren't what I want for him, doesn't mean I should avoid teaching him how to be safe and smart.
It would immature to think my child is always going to follow the guidelines and "rules" I've set. It would be foolish to not teach him something simply because I hope he won't make the wrong decision.
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/3/2008 10:46:45 PM
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PaleHawkWoman
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My oldest daughter and son are both slobs, and my youngest daughter and son areboth neatniks. David even folds his dirty clothes before putting them in the hamper, and no- he is NOT gay.
That aside, there's no guarantee that anyone will remember to use a condom in the heat of the moment, but by discussing it over and over again you can up the chances that they will.
My job as a parent is to equip my kids to be responsible adults... by teaching them to be responsible as kids. I do not understimate their intelligence or their ability to make both good and ban choices. I do everything I can to shepherd them to understand what's going on around them and make the right choice. They still have to make their own choices and deal with the consequences.
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RE: Is Young Women Having Babies Sending A Wrong Messag... - 9/4/2008 12:36:51 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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In regards to the OP...
I have mixed feelings..
I get frustrated with our society, because for example, I needed some meds, and I had to get all these blood tests to prove I wasn't pregant, and I've always been abstinent, and when I told the hospital people taking all my info it would be medically impossible for me to be pregnant, they said, "Yeah, right, we have 13 year olds that say that..." and I said in my case it was true because I am abstinent because I'm not married because I'm a christian (even though I was 35 then, 36 now), and they were like, "Yeah, that's what they all say.." I thought this was SO rude of them.  I'm thinking of writing the hospital admin. and complaining about religious discrimination.
On the other hand, we need to show unmarried mothers mercy and compassion...just as we need mercy and compassion for our sins. Sometimes the unwed mothers that are shown no mercy are the ones driven to abort.
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when I read this, but then I recalled you met as college students and married young. You just waited a while to have Nathan. I just hadn't realized you had been married students.