RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance!
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/9/2008 1:18:10 PM
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ladyingrace1979
Posts: 368
Joined: 3/14/2008
From: Fresno CA
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Hi everybody,
Tracy, I hope you don't have any more problems with the principle of the school.
Kathy, as far as Mike goes, does he have any idea what he wants to do with his life? Without that even community college may not be the right place for him. Vocational schools can be a wonderful fit. I'm a product of one at 44 years of age. They focus on the work skills and the curriculum is much more applicable to the real world. I think people see these types of school as only for people who can't go to college or for people who aren't smart enough for college but that's just not so. I just really depends on what your life's goals are. And often vocational school graduates can use those skills to support themselves if they go on to college. As you can tell I'm a big advocate of vocational schools. Anyway, I hope you will find the right fit.
I hope the rest of you lovely ladies are settling in to the craziness that is parenting. Some of you were mentioning homework, I have the opposite problem with my twins, they don't get enough. They are in 5th. grade but they are in special ed. They function at about a 1st -2nd grade level. They are in a class with other kids with similar disabilities. The class is 4-6 grade. There are 18, which doesn't sound like a lot but when you have kids who are functioning anywhere from kindergarten level to almost on grade level and there are some behavior issues it is a lot to handle. The teacher is overwhelmed. However, that isn't my issue. I shouldn't have to supplement this much at home. If things don't improve I may ask for them to be moved to the more advanced class. They have a class for more advanced students, I'm just concerned that the class would be too hard for Alyssa and I don't want them split up. I almost feel like I'm homeschooling now but without the support...arg.
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/9/2008 1:58:24 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10433
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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Yeah, the two hours was with him really working hard. He had at least part of every single page they were assigned yesterday. He says they were "behind schedule" all day. May just be the teacher getting used to the class...I just didn't expect this much homework the first week! Last year, he had 15-20 minutes of reading every night and spelling on the weekend. I really don't want to pay the school to educate him and then spend all our family time doing homework. 
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<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!! 
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/9/2008 2:28:48 PM
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JuliaHop
Posts: 621
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Donna...I wonder if the teacher has told the children that if they don't finish their seatwork it is to be finished at home...and that opened a door for Noah to leave his work unfinished. There are so many other "fun" things to do at school.
DS will have a big homework night tonight since he has some tests and quizzes tomorrow. He also needs to work on his piano because his lessons begin again this week. Soccer started after school today so he will either be full or energy from adrenalin or exhausted.
_____________________________
For God so loved the World, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/9/2008 3:10:33 PM
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MrsTracy72
Posts: 1800
Joined: 2/28/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: momma_bee
ESL (in our state) is for students whose parents do not speak English at home.
I heard the story about the student who didn't qualify for speach because an accent is not an impediment. He qualified for ESL but didn't need that, he understood the teacher, his peers didn't understand him.
I don't agree, but they are bound to use the money for specific students.
But I swear I remember an exchange student who never spoke English well and worked with the Spanish teacher for his English homework.
I don't know how a principal can REFUSE to educate a student who is living in their district. It is a shame because this should be a very positive experience for everyone. You, your kids, the school and Sean.
Oh momma, this totally didn't click in my brain.
We don't want to use the ESL program at the school because we have a program at church and we figured that would be best because we would not be using school resources and the other students wouldn't get mean about it. Plus he speaks just fine. It is just the culture he is having trouble adjusting to. He doesn't get what alot of words mean because they are not common to him in China. He didn't know what a clothes dryer was because they don't use one at home. It is wasteful.
As for the school, the law is very clear that once they make it obvious that they are accepting the student, then that student has the right to every resource and equal treatment that the school offers.
The principal misrepresented himself in many different ways. First he outright lied about what one teacher said. The teacher went to him for advice on how to deal with this student. This was a first year teacher and everything is new to him.
Then the principal said another teacher approached him and expressed not only concern, but outright said he would not do well in this class given his "limitations" I personally spoke to that teacher and she was angry because she didn't even talk to the principal. But she knew how to handle it. She sent me an e:mail yesterday telling me how well my student was doing and how it is a pleasure to have him in class. She also went as far as to say that he is engaged and aware. He is conversing with her and other students and some more things.
Then the principal said that he had the authority to send my student home. That was the next lie. He has no such authority. Only the organization that my student came through has that authority.
And finally, he told me that if he can't send my student home, he will simply revoke whatever he called it so that my student cannot attend the school. He also doesn't have the authority to do that according to the state law we have. AND I have a copy of those laws.
And I haven't even gotten into the goodwill aspect of this. Nor will I because there is no good will on his part.
I did speak to some people at church and they gave me resources to take this public if I need to and some who actually can help that process move along a bit faster, but I prefer to just pray for soft hearts on all sides. But if I have to, then of course I will.
I can put up with alot, but what I cannot stand is someone who treats me like I am an idiot and makes up lies to try to intimidate me. If I were stupid, then I would not be aware of my rights in this matter and the principal's actual authority. I really believe that he has taken advantage of his position and he made it very personal. He didn't have to because I never met him before. He could have followed the proper channels and if he did see a problem, go to the guidance counselor. But instead, he lied about one teacher and took advantage of another who is new and doesn't totally get it.
But other than that, things are going ok. I am exhausted from all the running. We got them all in school. It seems as if my student is doing much better. Now dance class started, soccer is in full swing, and we are getting hit with open houses and have to sign up for conferences right away. I don't know what I am going to be doing an hour from now so what am I supposed to do when I have to sign up for a conference a month away. Oh and Jake has to go for contacts tonight and I had to break down and have him ask his dad to take him. I think they are doing that with no problem, and I hope I am right, but if history both very past and not so long ago repeat themselves, I will hear about it later.
Sigh....... I just want a hot bath and nobody in my house. I go on retreat in October and believe me, I am counting the days. 4 days of just the company of other Christian Adult women and God. Right in the beautiful northwoods on a wonderful lake. What more can you ask for????
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/9/2008 3:20:31 PM
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Roberta_
Posts: 7000
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
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How do you get an extremely defiant child to do their homework?
J-8 failed first grade the first time because of behavioral and academic issues. She almost failed it a second time, but the school advanced her because my sister didn't want her to be too far behind the other kids her age. She refuses to do her homework or to let others help her. She does the same thing in class. I've thought about starting a thread on her in the Parents folder.
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/9/2008 3:46:31 PM
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MrsTracy72
Posts: 1800
Joined: 2/28/2007
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Roberta!!!!
I am so sorry! We had that problem with Jake from first grade on and it turned out that he had ADHD. Once we got that taken care of, got him on medication and in counseling, he is like a perfect student now and since he is better able to focus, he almost never brings homework home.
This is something like what our nights were like before. He would bring home two or three worksheets. I would sit him down at the kitchen table and have him do his work while I got dinner ready. He would do something wrong and I would have him erase it and do it over. Then I would turn around and he would be gone. I would call him and he would be watching tv or throwing a ball around. I would yell at him to sit back down and do his work. He would yell at me and say he forgot. This was a cycle, but the yelling didn't usually happen til like the third time he did a disappearing act on me. Then he would do his homework, but just throw answers down just to have something on the paper. Then I would again erase it and make him re do it. After the first quater, I got smart and copied the paper because that way we could skip the erasing 20 times part and not send back a paper full of holes. Sometimes he would take three hours to do two simple pages of work and by the end of the night, I was screaming and he was crying.
We went to a pscyhologist who did a bunch of testing with his fine motor skills, and a bunch of other stuff before we even went to the ADHD and medication part. But when he suggested it, I was at my witts end so we tried it and it was a process. We did notice immediately that he seemed to get more. He was less arguementitive and his handwriting improved almost instantly.
And he was not a behavior problem in school. He just had some issues paying attention and his grades suffered for it. But that is my experience. He could be overachieving and bored. That is why the psychologist did all of the testing he did before we looked into ADHD because he didn't want to go into it biased. He wanted the facts first.
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/9/2008 4:00:20 PM
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MrsTracy72
Posts: 1800
Joined: 2/28/2007
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OK I get you all mixed up. So J belongs to your sister or brother right? Are you respsonsible for getting her to do her homework? If that is so, this is what I as a non-parent would do. I would look at the homework. Put it in order from easiest to hardest and let her choose what she wants to do first and then last. Then set the timer. When time is up, she moves on to the next page and if she isn't finsished, she can finsih with her parents or take the lower grade. You aren't her parent so as much as I would want to help this child, she isn't going to accept your help if her parents are taking no measures to do anything. But if the child starts to see the benefits of getting work done and the rewards of good grades, that might change a bit. But the ADHD mind works so much differently. If you are going to go without medication you need so much structure and cannot stray from it unless someone dies or something like that. I have heard that caffiene has almost the same effect as ADHD meds. It is a stimulant and ADHD meds are stimulants and because the stimulants seem to act opposite in ADHD kids, some have reported that caffiene helps them to an extent. Try a can of coke once and see. If not, it will only make her more hyper for a day. But I do know people (mostly adults who don't want to take meds) who have ADD and even therapists who have said that they know people who do that with the caffiene.
Like I said, it might be a bunch of nothing, but what would it hurt to try? Just don't say you are doing it or why. Offer it as a treat for her sitting down to do her homework.
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/9/2008 5:11:49 PM
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Roberta_
Posts: 7000
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
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HERE is the thread about the struggles with J-8.
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/9/2008 8:42:29 PM
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MrsTracy72
Posts: 1800
Joined: 2/28/2007
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Well, you can always tell her parents that eventhough you are there, you are not going to be responsible for her unless they jump in and do something for this child. You can also contact the school and talk directly with the teacher and let him or her know what kind of struggles you are having with her and ask for suggestions. The teacher may or may not talk to you but maybe he or she may be able to let you know what if anything works. But I don't see how you are going to be able to change anything on your own. You can pray and if this is what is going on, that is about all you can do. Give her a time limit and what gets done gets done and what doesn't doesn't and hopefully she will get a bit of structure that way and make small changes here and there, but if she is ADHD and has other issues, it is abuse for her parents not to take any action. Is she getting any special ed at school? Does the school know that the parents know these issues and are not doing anything?
I know that alot of people look at ADHD as a "make believe" issue, but it is an actual chemical imbalance in the brain and that is why the stimulants work opposite in people with it. My son's psych doc told me that if we refuse to give him meds for this already established diagnosis, he could take it to family court, and would if he felt we were ignoring our son's needs in the name of freedom of expression and everything else. I am sorry you have to deal with that when you have enough of your own to deal with.
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/10/2008 12:53:53 AM
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thisistheday
Posts: 9597
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I'm sorry your having to deal with the 8yo Roberta. Here it's no fun stuff until homework is done, but I'm guessing that won't work with J.
Good point about the vocational schools Kim. I could see my son doing that, unless he suddenly starts to do stuff like writing more.
Donna, I'd forgotten you had just started school. Homework the first week gets on my nerves. Hopefully teacher and kids just need to get into a routine.
N's b-day is tomorrow, but sister will be gone for the evening so we celebrated tonight after scouts. He'd been wanting a star trek cake, but I didn't know how we could make one. He finally said that we could draw the outline of one on the cake, so that's what we did. Thankfully I had some black coloring paste, so we made the chocolate icing black for the background, and used gray for the outline. He was happy.
Dee
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/10/2008 1:05:43 AM
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Roberta_
Posts: 7000
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
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Dee- that sounds like a cool cake!
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/10/2008 1:51:54 AM
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thisistheday
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Thanks Roberta! I was just glad that we found something doable, that he liked.
Dee
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/10/2008 8:12:33 AM
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momma_bee
Posts: 1232
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What can be removed / curtailed on Wednesday? If he misses practice, I'll bet he can't compete and if the homework isn't done he falls behind. Is there any other wiggle room and will it change once the season ends?
What are the negitives of missing Wednesday church? I assume he is going to worship at other times - if it is a youth activity, perhaps another church meets on a different night? Perhaps he could host a youth type activity once a month that fits his schedule better. (and that is LEADERSHIP SKILLS)
I'm assuming he has practice / meets after school. Maybe if he identifies HOURS that he has available each day and does not consider himself available for as many on Wednesday, it would help him to see when he has to do his work.
Either that - or help him to estimate the amount of time he needs to do the job / homework (manhours) and then schedule the work in the available time.
I know that BigBee figured if it is due Friday, he doesn't need to start it until Thursday and we have a once-a-month Thursday obligation that caused problems. He does better with the second approach now. How long is that going to take? Multiply times 1.5 and allow that much time, now, when are you going to do it?
He still needs to work on the 'when is Mom/Dad available' part. He will sit quietly and work diligently while we cook supper, chitchat about our day and pick up the house and 10 minutes before I need to leave for a meeting say that he needs help with #7.
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/10/2008 8:23:54 AM
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Tinkerbell_
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When school started he had practice every night of the week until 3:30 then he'd have homework. Now he has his meets every Wednesday at 4. There is youth on Wednesday nights and since he didn't go to them this year he really wanted to go this year. Last year he volunteered in our AWANA program and said he would do that every other year and since this is the 'other' year he would be going to youth.
While he doesn't delegate his time well enough I don't understand how out of all the kids who run cross country can still have time to do homework, cross country AND church and he's the only one who can't? *sigh*
We'll just have to talk about this weekend I suppose. *shrug*
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/10/2008 8:31:34 AM
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momma_bee
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Can he work with one of them to learn how they make it work?
I asked BigBee the same thing - he has sporty people in class with him and they are doing well and he doesn't know HOW (and they are too old to ask)
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/10/2008 2:20:30 PM
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momma_bee
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He has the honors class because he is capable of doing the work.
I guess my thought is if he will make it back after track, I wouldn't sweat it. But that is me.
Right now I'm miserable. I don't complain much. I know y'all doubt that, but I mostly bellyache because I like to hear myself talk. All bark, no bite.
I ache today. I was diagnosised with fibro before DeeDee was born and I couldn't stand changing treatments every month and still getting no relief. I don't complain when I ache. Mostly. I sit under a blanket because I am 'cold' and wait it out. Tonight is open house and I'm thinking I may stay at home or only go to one school because of how I feel. I can't recall feeling this bad when it was still warm out.
Now, I won't miss a thing tonight and my kids will never know and NO ONE better MENTION it to the parents / teachers. And they will wonder why I am uncommunicative and withdrawn while I try not to grimace.
Bet I look funny when I stand up. My knees bend and I look like I am doing a curtsy...
No pity needed ladies, but a quick prayer that I don't snap at anyone tonight or snub anyone would be nice.
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RE: September PPS Chat! I can see autumn in the distance! - 9/10/2008 6:16:40 PM
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Kath
Posts: 17140
Joined: 2/28/2005
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{{{Mbee}}}
Do you take anything? I take something called Lyrica for diabetes complications but it's also for fibro.
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Hi macokjc! 
I'd think they would have another teacher and then an aide. She can't be accomplishing much with the students with that ratio. 
