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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/28/2008 8:13:14 PM
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Homegrownkids
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Narnia, I just kind of jummped in here and skimmed through the posts. So, I might not make sence since I didn't read everything. But, my thought was, maybe your Dh will realize that she can finish her writing in 15 minutes compared to 45? Hopfully, he will find out quickly not to fill in all the extra, left over time, with busy work.
Well.... church is still a struggle. We were just informed that two ladies want to start a children's church, like they use to. No biggie right? Well, all of our kids (98 percent of them), are age 11-15 years old. And..... they want to keep the kids downstairs, doing children's church, right after S.School. Sunday morning is the only "service" that is offered, and now our children won't be involved in it at all. I don't know what I think about this... well, I do know what I think. But, we can't do anything. Dh already walks on egg shells around here, and since it is a family church... well, saying something could mean we are out the door. This is something we need to pray about. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to let them try it... I don't know. I just know it will be very HARD for me, to not have my children with me during service anymore. I do know, that we do a lot at home, we teach them constantly, but still..... I am very torn about not having them around during service.
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/28/2008 8:17:05 PM
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BeckeyZ
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From: the sunny side of the street
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Homegrownkids
Narnia, I just kind of jummped in here and skimmed through the posts. So, I might not make sence since I didn't read everything. But, my thought was, maybe your Dh will realize that she can finish her writing in 15 minutes compared to 45? Hopfully, he will find out quickly not to fill in all the extra, left over time, with busy work.
Well.... church is still a struggle. We were just informed that two ladies want to start a children's church, like they use to. No biggie right? Well, all of our kids (98 percent of them), are age 11-15 years old. And..... they want to keep the kids downstairs, doing children's church, right after S.School. Sunday morning is the only "service" that is offered, and now our children won't be involved in it at all. I don't know what I think about this... well, I do know what I think. But, we can't do anything. Dh already walks on egg shells around here, and since it is a family church... well, saying something could mean we are out the door. This is something we need to pray about. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to let them try it... I don't know. I just know it will be very HARD for me, to not have my children with me during service anymore. I do know, that we do a lot at home, we teach them constantly, but still..... I am very torn about not having them around during service.
We just started a childrens church this morning, but it is only for ages 4 to 6....I guess they figure after that age they should be mature enough to sit still for the service.
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/28/2008 8:25:21 PM
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zoebob
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Even if they start a Children's church you don't have to send your kids. Are they wanting it to go through the whole service so the kids are never in the church service?
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/28/2008 8:31:39 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 5801
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From: WA
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quote:
I am gonna be out here Sans Santa if you wanna come out this way- misery loves company. Yeah, I am borrowing trouble right along with you. I would love to. Just that pesky traveling problem.
quote:
animals, especially cats and birds, are "hardwired" to hide illness/weakness. You can usually tell if you pay attention, though. We knew Skye (the bird) wasn't feeling right because he was too quiet, and when we looked close, he was shaking and had a dirty face. He's been eating, hopping and flying of late, so I think he'll be fine.
Annie, the problem with children's church is that the same people tend to do it all the time and then they never see the service themselves. So perhaps you guys could do it first sunday of the month or something?
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/28/2008 9:32:43 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10187
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From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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quote:
Annie, the problem with children's church is that the same people tend to do it all the time and then they never see the service themselves. So perhaps you guys could do it first sunday of the month or something?
That might be a good compromise.
What ages would your CC be? I'm confused by your post.
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He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him;
He hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked He will destroy.
~Psalm 145:19-20~
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/28/2008 9:52:27 PM
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Homegrownkids
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We are in prayer over the children church. I am going to bring it up that it would be nice if it wasn't every Sunday so that the kids could be with their families and participate in the adult service and so can the workers. As far as I know, the CC would be for all the kids. Our church is small, so there is no way of NOT letting my kids be involved. The youngest is Noah, but he'd probably still hang out with me, the next youngest is 6 and after that all the kids are 11-15 years old.....oh, I take that back, every once in a while there is an 8 yr old that comes, too. I guess I don't mind having a CC, it was just sprung on us and I have never heard of a childrens church that goes past age 10.
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/28/2008 11:03:10 PM
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JuliaHop
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Children's church...
Our program is for 1st through 6th grades. The pre-school children have their own classes and are not in the larger program.
I've never heard of a children's church for teens. My 7th grade son is now required to attend the adult worship service.
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For God so loved the World, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/28/2008 11:08:12 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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In our church, the teens run the children's church. Nate says it's a madhouse!
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Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/28/2008 11:45:54 PM
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narnia
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Cynthia,
I've talked to him before and it just doesn't matter what I say.
Becky,
I agree that two hours is plenty of time to do it all, but he doesn't. He didn't even put Bible on the schedule.
Cindybode and W.O.F.,
I did tell him that there were problems with his schedule-namely that his breakdown is not compatible with the integrated English program he bought and that if he wants her to start school at 8 every day (and go until 2:30) then he needs to stop undermining me when it comes to her bedtime. Stop turning on the t.v. that's in her room, stop giving in to her delaying tactics at bedtime.
And for the record, for those new to the boards, I did tell him flat out when he put it there that the t.v. does not belong in her room.
I told him that he needs to come up with some other option for her schooling since I am not about to go through another year of comments about her lack of education. I can't please him in this area so something else needs to be done. And if he wants her to school from 8 until 2:30 or three, then put her in a traditional school. There's really no difference between what he wants and what a regular school would do.
I said between what has gone on in the congregation and his comments about her education and lack thereof, I am at my breaking point. Since I can not please him in this regard he needs to come up with another option.
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/28/2008 11:48:57 PM
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HSmom2
Posts: 91
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RE: the childrens's church: Those folks don't sound like anyone I would trust my children with.
There's no way I'd send my kids, I don't care who's doing what, if I felt uncomfortable. You have to trust your instincts. I don't buy they have to go because they are the "pastor's" kids. So what, they are kids first, they are your kids not anyone else's. I would look up the last folks that pastored that church and have a loooooonnnnnggggg talk with them. And maybe even the folks before that.
hsmom2
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/28/2008 11:50:28 PM
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BeckeyZ
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((((((((narnia))))))))
I understand your frustration...and I will pray for y'all.
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/29/2008 12:18:57 AM
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cynthia
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Narnia, I am sorry it has gotten this bad. This is really a serious problem. I am concerned for you and your daughter. My son was in a tiff today in the neighborhood. I told him that rather than hitting back, it would have been good for him to get away from the situation. I am a strong believer in marriage. I am not entirely sure what I would do in your shoes. Your church is pretty much useless in dealing with people in sin, so it would probably be pointless to go to the church. Is there anyone else you can go to that would be willing to speak to your husband and to help him see that he has a serious problem he needs to repent of?
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/29/2008 8:57:00 AM
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JuliaHop
Posts: 600
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quote:
She's been 5 for a month.
He is vexed because he went over a book with her that has numbers in it, and she could not or would not recognize the numbers. So he's upset that she knew them last year and doesn't know them this year.
He also told me he thinks school should be 6 days a week. I am not following the schedule he gave me last year-even though last year we had discussions about that and he said I was free not to follow it.
If this keeps up, I will suggest that he take over, because I do not want to go through another year of his comments about how she's behind. He wants her to be doing second grade work this year-since we're still working on how to write words and how to read, I don't see it happening.
I'm sorry, but in my opinion to demand that a 5 year old do academic school from 8:00 until 2:30 six days a week is very, very, wrong.
It is very normal for your child to have forgotten her letters...she is just barely old enough for K5 (in our area you may not start kindergarten unless you are 5 by Sept. 1). 5 year olds are generally not capable to doing 2nd grade work. Even if she can complete the work, most likely she will forget all of it by next year. That is why elementary school is yearly review and building of knowledge.
K5 is generally a l/2 day program including recess, art, etc... Here is a link to a daily schedule for a full day kindergarten program in a higher socio economic community:
http://teachers.greenville.k12.sc.us/sites/dbeckett/Pages/Daily%20Schedule.aspx
Note how little time is spent on academics and remember that the time spent is spent teaching more than one student at a time.
_____________________________
For God so loved the World, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/29/2008 10:56:05 AM
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narnia
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quote:
But, my thought was, maybe your Dh will realize that she can finish her writing in 15 minutes compared to 45?
Even if that was the case, he would have her go on to the next writing lesson, or figure that there is more time to do another subject.
After all, she is already behind in her education. Got to catch her up, you know.
Cynthia,
The answer to your question is no.
JuliaHop,
I agree with you-I do think it is wrong. He doesn't. There is no way to convince him otherwise. If I send him something from a public school he'll say that he does not care what they do-we are not following them.
Although since he wants her to school a full day, we actually are following them...
He did put in one recess and a lunch. So she does have those two breaks. Just like a regular school.
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/29/2008 12:31:58 PM
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cynthia
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Narnia, You don't have to convince him of anything. You also do not have to go along with what he is doing. Yes, it could escalate, but sometimes it takes an extreme situation in order for things to change. You do not have to follow his schedule. In fact, I think if you do follow it, you are harming your daughter. When he starts berating you, tell him that he is sinning and dishonoring you and you will not listen to it, then get out of the way. If you have to lock yourself in your room, do it. If you feel threatened, call the police. It is not your fault when he treats you badly and speaks lies to you. Reject that in Jesus name; aloud. There are some serious spiritual strongholds involved in this. They need to be broken.
I am not suggesting that you disrespect your husband in any way. I am a strong believer in wives submitting to their husbands and that men need the respect of their wives. However, if we respect a man, we know that he can do what is right. That he is a grown up man who we expect to behave like a grown up, responsible man who loves his family and not only wants what is right for them, but does what is right for them. As wives, we are called to come along side our husbands to help them and to support them in doing what is right. We are not called to obey our husband, but to strive for unity with him. As Sarah, called her husband lord (since he was lord over many) and as a husband is called to honor (defer to and revere) his wife, we are to be a mutual admiration society. If one falls from this, we are to encourage him to do what is right and not fall into a trap of trying to avoid his anger over truth. If a husband is in sin, we must not participate, even if they get angry or mistreat us. We must always stand up for what is right and encourage our husbands to do right. We must not tear them down or speak rudely to them, even when they are wrong. However, we must speak the truth in love. Let our behavior be chaste and righteous, always doing what is good and not falling into sin with a sinful spouse. And after having done all else to stand firm.
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My husband and I have a motto:
We are the leader. We are one.
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/29/2008 12:41:41 PM
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his_chosen
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Husbands are called to live their wife as Christ loved the church. SOmetimes they get hung up in the wives submit part...
On that note, today is our 18th anniversary. We were married at 12:00 noon. It was a day much like today, bright and sunny with a hint of chill in the air.
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/29/2008 1:08:10 PM
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2jsmom
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Happy Anniversary, His.
I had a wild night at work yesterday. Because of confidentiality, I can't say much, but I thought I was watching a friend die before my eyes. It was sudden too. I had gone to visit her in her hospital room. One second we were talking, and the next she was gone. Can't give any more details than that except to say she is alive and will probably be fine.
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/29/2008 1:36:30 PM
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narnia
Posts: 561
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For us non-military people, what is a SNCO? I did not realize you were in the military yourself. How awful, better is oneday!
Sue,
Glad your friend is alright. That would have been quite a scare.
Happy Anniversary His! It is breezy and cool here too-for a change. Today truly feels like an autumn, as opposed to a summer, day.
Here was dh's response to my concerns:
"The schedule is rough, you will need to adjust it to fit. But I apologize for accusing you of not keeping the old schedule.
The evening snack time should probably be a fixed time so that she can be in bed, but she doesn't seem to stay up all night now that Disney is gone.
Even though she has forgotten some things, she has gained others, so I assume that as she moves on that there will be a normal loss earlier material. But she catches up quickly with a little review. I added math and she moved through about 5 lessons in one class.
It is more obvious that she is growing into the subjects than it is that that you are not teaching. Dont be so easily discouraged, that is what she does. Like her, you need to learn to press on and keep trying. The only real defeat is surrender without a fight."
I told him that what he doesn't understand is that hearing comments all year long about how she is behind is demoralizing. I also told him that we've been doing this for a year already, so it is normal to be discouraged after a year of hearing how behind she is.
I then repeated my assertion that I will not put up with another year of negative comments.
I also asked why are we homeschooling? He wants a traditional school at home environment, so why not just put her in that traditional school environment in the first place?
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/29/2008 1:40:07 PM
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judii1
Posts: 362
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Happy Anniversary his!! 
Homegrown, your Dh shouldn't be on eggshellls if he's the pastor. I don't understand that at all. Here's the way I feel. People will only take as much authority over you as you will give them. Does that make sense?
maybe you could just politely tell them that you are happy they started the children's church but your children won't need to be sitting there.
BTW, one church we went to had a lot of kids that their bus picked up for Sunday school. One of the ladies had children's church for some of the little kids because the pastor was the one who picked all of them up.
Today, Dh wanted to go to the flea market and sell some stuff. Well, we made $1.00. I helped him load and unload the truck. I got to sit there and watch people walk by. When we got home, Dh told me Ds should be going to ps because he isn't learning anything...  I left Ds home to play with the computer. He is trying to use some RPG maker to make a game. I don't know anything about the stuff. Anyhow, he said he learned that you have to install certain "switches" into the program to get the game to work right.
Well, the flea market is in town at the sotck yards.
Cindy, you would love my flea market wish list. It includes 3 female goats for $100, a4th goat that ws due any day but didn't look too good. 2 Brittany Spaniel pups, AKC reg for $300, 8 or 10 mallards, a couple of rabbits, some light brown chickens, etc. In other words, think instant petting zoo!!
< Message edited by judii1 -- 9/29/2008 1:57:51 PM >
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/29/2008 1:40:58 PM
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betterisoneday
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quote:
For us non-military people, what is a SNCO?
Oops, sorry I forget about all the acronyms. Senior Non-Commissioned Officer, one of the top three ranks of enlisted people. In this case someone who has three more stripes then I do and has been in the service since I was in 1st or 2nd grade.
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/29/2008 1:44:21 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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quote:
one of the other SNCOs has already threatened to take my sons away
Do they actually have the right to do that? Or is he just trying to make a point?
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Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: Colored leaves and crisp air: September HS chat - 9/29/2008 1:52:49 PM
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betterisoneday
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
quote:
one of the other SNCOs has already threatened to take my sons away
Do they actually have the right to do that? Or is he just trying to make a point?
Legally he can't himself, but he can call the mental health on-base and say he believes I'm depressed enough to be suicidal, in which case they would evaluate me leaving him enough time to call the family services (who don't like home-schooling), and the command has all my sitter info (phones & maps) so they could go pick them up.
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Fortunately he probably has a month before he really needs a coat instead of his jackets and sweatshirts.