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RE: When is a family too big.

 
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RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 9:44:32 AM   
macokjc

 

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quote:

I'm not sure that I agree God is always in control of conception because of free will. Isn't it just as possible for man to step outside of God's perfect will and conceive a child when they shouldn't? But that's something I'm unsure of.


This was debated on page 2 or 3 - and still think it's relevant. Babies are made because of sex. I strongly believe that it is a miracle of life, but it is also a scientific process that God created. I don't think that just because God has given two people the ability to have sex that he really desires them to make a baby.

OneOfHisJewels: Apparently it got heated after I went to bed. You know, right now my friend is a foster parent to a little baby that was this mom's 6th child. She has 6 children and is not a fit parent. (back to the whole sex thing) I don't think there is a magic number that entitles one to be part of this debate - and I think you are very much valued here. And besides, back to the original issue, you do pay taxes, and public support is a large part of the question.
Post #: 476
RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 9:47:39 AM   
sisrev


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From: The South, ya'll
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mrs.Wifey

quote:


Wisdom comes from the Lord. Not the number of days you're on the planet.


Shar-Mar, I just give you applause


Me, too!

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Post #: 477
RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 9:50:04 AM   
CoeurdeLeon


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quote:

ORIGINAL: makocjc

This was debated on page 2 or 3 - and still think it's relevant. Babies are made because of sex. I strongly believe that it is a miracle of life, but it is also a scientific process that God created. I don't think that just because God has given two people the ability to have sex that he really desires them to make a baby.

OneOfHisJewels: Apparently it got heated after I went to bed. You know, right now my friend is a foster parent to a little baby that was this mom's 6th child. She has 6 children and is not a fit parent. (back to the whole sex thing) I don't think there is a magic number that entitles one to be part of this debate - and I think you are very much valued here. And besides, back to the original issue, you do pay taxes, and public support is a large part of the question.


No kidding. By the kind of experience = wisdom logic that was being pushed, the women in the gov't housing projects with 6 kids to 6 different men have more wisdom than I do having only birthed one child and adopted 2.

That makes NO SENSE whatsoever.


That'd be like saying someone who moves from job to job every couple of months knows more about working than someone who stays at their job for years.

And, yeah, all taxpayers all welcome regardless of familial status. But participation is not limited to taxpayers.

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10.13.08
Post #: 478
RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 9:51:35 AM   
Tinkerbell_


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*snort*

Off topic, but I looove your siggy, Lioness. Mama said there'd be days like that.

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RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 9:52:31 AM   
CoeurdeLeon


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

*snort*

Off topic, but I looove your siggy, Lioness. Mama said there'd be days like that.

I think today's one of them.

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This morning I was awakened by the sound of purple
colliding with the fragrance of laughter.
Eutychus







10.13.08
Post #: 480
RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 10:05:59 AM   
landabee


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quote:

By the kind of experience = wisdom logic that was being pushed, the women in the gov't housing projects with 6 kids to 6 different men have more wisdom than I do having only birthed one child and adopted 2.


Okay, that was just funny. True, but funny.

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RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 10:08:09 AM   
Memaw.


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*Incoming rant*

There have been some things said here that really sound self righteous IMO.

For starters, age has NO bearing on wisdom, I am 46 yrs old, gave birth to 3 children, lost 4, I have 2 step children and 3 grandchildren.

That does not make me wiser, smarter or better than anyone who ONLY has 2 children.
And it does not make me any less than someone who has given birth to 6.

One of my grandchildren was born with Trisomy 21 (Downs' Syndrome).
Does that make me any more experienced with all children with it?
NO, it makes me more knowledgeable about HER and HER problems.

My son is in prison, does that make me the authority on Moms with Sons behind bars?
NO, it makes me knowledgeable about HIS situation and OUR situation.

To think that one MUST have a passel of kids to be able to speak on this topic is just plain old pride in my book and that (Biblically) is sin.

*Rant is now concluded*

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Post #: 482
RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 10:43:56 AM   
kohls356


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

quote:

Ok we will discuss when a family is big enough


Thank you.

A family is big enough when the parents decide, after prayer and counsel, that their family is big enough.


And can provide for that family on their own.
Post #: 483
RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 10:58:07 AM   
stellaluna


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Memrie88
His:
Are you sasying that some conceptions are outside of His will?

I will. I don't think anyone conceiving a child outside of marriage is in the will of God.

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RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 11:47:27 AM   
kohls356


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quote:

ORIGINAL: stellaluna

quote:

ORIGINAL: Memrie88
His:
Are you sasying that some conceptions are outside of His will?

I will. I don't think anyone conceiving a child outside of marriage is in the will of God.


I agree as well and we can be outside the will of God any many areas of our life so I am not sure why children would be different.
Post #: 485
RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 12:22:00 PM   
Consecrated2God


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Just curious--would any of you support legislation that would mandate that people on food stamps use birth control? Why or why not?

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Post #: 486
RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 12:34:06 PM   
Mrs.X


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Lisa, I think most of these folks in here are fairly conservative and believe in small government, so I think for most of them the answer would be no.

OFHJ, I have to say that even though you don't have children yourself, I agree that you do have common sense and your not having any children yet has nothing to do with that or this topic.

HisLittleOne, I think that's you with the kitten for an avatar. A few pages back you said you wish you could find a scripture to back up what you were saying.....Galatians 2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. 3 For if any one thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4 But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. 5 For each man will have to bear his own load.

A load is something that a person can carry on his own, a burden is something he cannot carry on his own. We should help those with burdens that are too big to carry. I believe what you and other posters in this thread are trying to say is that you have no problem with your tax dollars going to someone who has a burden and also to someone who is trying to make their burden into a load. You do have a problem when people with loads take assistance and when people have burdens and aren't trying to turn their burden into a load. OK, that was pretty wordy, sorry.

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Post #: 487
RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 12:39:12 PM   
Hislittleone


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quote:

quote:

Hislittleone: I'm not sure that I agree God is always in control of conception because of free will. Isn't it just as possible for man to step outside of God's perfect will and conceive a child when they shouldn't? But that's something I'm unsure of.

Macokjc: This was debated on page 2 or 3 - and still think it's relevant. Babies are made because of sex. I strongly believe that it is a miracle of life, but it is also a scientific process that God created. I don't think that just because God has given two people the ability to have sex that he really desires them to make a baby.


This sounds about right.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Memrie88
His:
Are you sasying that some conceptions are outside of His will?

Stellaluna: I will. I don't think anyone conceiving a child outside of marriage is in the will of God.


Kohls356: I agree as well and we can be outside the will of God any many areas of our life so I am not sure why children would be different.


I agree as well. But how do we reconcile that with the fact that God is the author and giver of life? Is it a black and white issue? Either God is the author of life or not? I dunno. I can see both sides of the argument.

In the example of a middle school girl getting pregnant, would she have conceived if God didn't make it happen? (i.e. the conception part not the sex part)

Is there any scripture that can be applied to this argument either way?
Post #: 488
RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 12:39:41 PM   
Consecrated2God


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quote:

Lisa, I think most of these folks in here are fairly conservative and believe in small government, so I think for most of them the answer would be no.


I hope so. It would be a slippery slope if we started telling other people when they could or could not have children.

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Post #: 489
RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 12:41:05 PM   
OneOfHisJewels


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Excellent post, Christina.......and thank you..

Upthread you mentioned being on food stamps...for YOU I do not begrudge that...your family has been working hard to better yourselves as you are able...your husband is working hard...you are nurturing your boys.....you didn't have them for the sake of getting the food stamps....people like you are the people I think they should be for.

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Post #: 490
RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 12:41:55 PM   
peculiar_lady2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: spitzu

quote:

ORIGINAL: Memrie88
But I'm just as lovingly feisty as you gals.



Yep, because we all consider putting down parents of less than 6 and parents of none as lovingly feisty.

we don't ALL fit into that......but since I HAVE five of my own, I feel compelled to "share my wealth of experience that others can't possibly have with no kids or only a few".....(lovingly said of course...see, smiley--> )
It's not about how many kids you have or don't have....it's not about whether you are married or not...it's not about anything physical. This thread is about a heart condition...one that makes you think that you have "the right" to public assistance simply because you exist....and those posting here all agree that "just existing" isn't good enough of a reason. No one here has a problem with a humbled heart needing to lean on others for a time...but that is a humbled heart, not a heart that feels it is owed to them. It's not about the physical....it's all about the heart. Some also feel that it would be the prudent thing that those on assistance not have any more kids while they are struggling.....however, I go back to this...it's all about the heart. I personally do not feel it right that someone would purposely chooses to have a child while on assistance....PURPOSELY is the key....and that is exactly what all of these other ladies are saying also. So it seems my having five kids and being married doesn't exactly negate their not being married or having any kids. We simply don't like abuse of the system...and to us, that falls under abuse.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

Just curious--would any of you support legislation that would mandate that people on food stamps use birth control? Why or why not?

No...I believe that is an individual thing to be decided between the two it directly involves. I do however feel that some would make more prudent decisions and not keep having kids while on public assistance if the "rules" for such were more well written then they are now. It unfortunately is a broken system that allows too easily for abuse to thrive...and as I stated above, abuse is a heart issue, not a physical issue.


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RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 12:43:54 PM   
OneOfHisJewels


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From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

Just curious--would any of you support legislation that would mandate that people on food stamps use birth control? Why or why not?


Absolutely not, for the reason you just said...a slippery slope...However, I do think welfare should do more to encourage unmarried women to stop having babies, and perhaps be told that their benefits will stop at X number of children unless they are married.


Excellent post, peculiar lady. Also, even if your family did take benefits (and I know you said you didn't) I wouldn't begrudge it to you because your husband works hard for the very government that provides those benefits...it's not the fault of military members that they are underpaid...

I really don't have a problem with a family where the dad works hard and doesn't make enough getting benefits....or even necessarily having another baby if they have their eyes on bettering themselves in the future....it's when the benefits are used as an excuse not to have a job that I have a problem with...

< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 9/9/2008 1:02:00 PM >


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Post #: 492
RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 12:46:09 PM   
kohls356


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No I would not support people having to be on bc if receiving assistance. I would hope that they would use the sense God gave them though and see that it is not the best situation to be in to have more children at that time.
Post #: 493
RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 12:46:58 PM   
landabee


Posts: 2867
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From: Central Florida
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quote:

A load is something that a person can carry on his own, a burden is something he cannot carry on his own. We should help those with burdens that are too big to carry. I believe what you and other posters in this thread are trying to say is that you have no problem with your tax dollars going to someone who has a burden and also to someone who is trying to make their burden into a load. You do have a problem when people with loads take assistance and when people have burdens and aren't trying to turn their burden into a load. OK, that was pretty wordy, sorry.


I like this.

quote:

In the example of a middle school girl getting pregnant, would she have conceived if God didn't make it happen? (i.e. the conception part not the sex part)


Regarding Free Will---- God allows much that may not be His best plan for us. He allows us to make poor choices. He even allows us to forego seeking wisdom. He allows us free will.

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RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 12:48:10 PM   
Sideways


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

Just curious--would any of you support legislation that would mandate that people on food stamps use birth control? Why or why not?


Sort of a moot point because it's unenforceable. No way to prove another child wasn't conceived despite the BC.

Certainly I believe in conditions for welfare, though. Any adult receiving must prove that they are looking for work, educating themselves for a better job or completely unable to do any kind of work. I also believe in a time limit for receiving welfare, even for those who've met the above conditions.

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RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 12:48:15 PM   
Consecrated2God


Posts: 4940
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Formerly Jesus Land
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels

quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

Just curious--would any of you support legislation that would mandate that people on food stamps use birth control? Why or why not?


Absolutely not, for the reason you just said...a slippery slope...However, I do think welfare should do more to encourage unmarried women to stop having babies, and perhaps be told that their benefits will stop at X number of children unless they are married.


I agree with you. I also think they should do more to help families develop a plan to be self-sufficeint. I've seen social workers that seemed to feel their job was to get you on as many programs as possible, and others who seem to think their job is to make you feel like scum, but I don't think I met a single one that was interested in listening to long term plans and goals for success.

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RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 12:48:34 PM   
Hislittleone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mrs.X

Lisa, I think most of these folks in here are fairly conservative and believe in small government, so I think for most of them the answer would be no.

OFHJ, I have to say that even though you don't have children yourself, I agree that you do have common sense and your not having any children yet has nothing to do with that or this topic.

HisLittleOne, I think that's you with the kitten for an avatar. A few pages back you said you wish you could find a scripture to back up what you were saying.....Galatians 2 Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. 3 For if any one thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4 But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. 5 For each man will have to bear his own load.

A load is something that a person can carry on his own, a burden is something he cannot carry on his own. We should help those with burdens that are too big to carry. I believe what you and other posters in this thread are trying to say is that you have no problem with your tax dollars going to someone who has a burden and also to someone who is trying to make their burden into a load. You do have a problem when people with loads take assistance and when people have burdens and aren't trying to turn their burden into a load. OK, that was pretty wordy, sorry.


Yep, it's me with the kitten. But I don't remember asking for scripture about anything in this thread until my last post about God being the author of life versus babies being a result of human actions. Could be wrong about that though. Didn't get much sleep so not thinking extremely clearly today.

And what you said made perfect sense. Thanks for sharing that scripture.

I wouldn't support government requiring anyone to use birth control. That's a personal choice and no one should be forced into using it or not. I would offer my advice on the matter if asked. And my advice would be to wait until you can pay for the pregnancy and birth plus subsequent expenses.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 12:51:12 PM   
kohls356


Posts: 361
Joined: 8/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hislittleone

In the example of a middle school girl getting pregnant, would she have conceived if God didn't make it happen? (i.e. the conception part not the sex part)

Is there any scripture that can be applied to this argument either way?


I believe that God is the author of life in that He created our bodies to work a specific way in order to conceive. I really don't believe that He literally opens and closes the womb each and every time sex happens.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 1:01:00 PM   
stellaluna


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There's a difference in God allowing something to happen and God making something happen.

And no, I would not support forced birth control for people on government assistance. I do, however, understand the arguments for forced sterilization for those who abuse the system. (California, I think, has considered this. And that's sort of an "is the family too big" argument in itself.)

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RE: When is a family too big. - 9/9/2008 1:02:59 PM   
Hislittleone


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quote:

we don't ALL fit into that......but since I HAVE five of my own, I feel compelled to "share my wealth of experience that others can't possibly have with no kids or only a few".....(lovingly said of course...see, smiley--> )
It's not about how many kids you have or don't have....it's not about whether you are married or not...it's not about anything physical. This thread is about a heart condition...one that makes you think that you have "the right" to public assistance simply because you exist....and those posting here all agree that "just existing" isn't good enough of a reason. No one here has a problem with a humbled heart needing to lean on others for a time...but that is a humbled heart, not a heart that feels it is owed to them. It's not about the physical....it's all about the heart. Some also feel that it would be the prudent thing that those on assistance not have any more kids while they are struggling.....however, I go back to this...it's all about the heart. I personally do not feel it right that someone would purposely chooses to have a child while on assistance....PURPOSELY is the key....and that is exactly what all of these other ladies are saying also. So it seems my having five kids and being married doesn't exactly negate their not being married or having any kids. We simply don't like abuse of the system...and to us, that falls under abuse.


Sarah, that is an excellent post! Very well said....
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