Most negative, most positive remarks? (Full Version)

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dianetavegia -> Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 9:59:25 AM)

What is the most negative thing you've had said to you or about your children, family, regarding your decision to home school?

What is the most positive thing said to you or your family about your decision to home school, your children, or family?

I know I've heard the 'socialization' remark 100 times in the last 10 years but wondered what you've heard.

How do you respond?

A positive I heard:

'We never have trouble with home schooled kids. They are always so well behaved. ' Said by a 'guide' to our home school group during a field trip.



Bagel -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 10:15:39 AM)

I was at the library a few weeks ago and another mother there saw my kids checking out the large globe on their own and talking about the countries and states etc. and she looked at me, smiled and said, "You homeschool don't you".



misaham -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 10:26:07 AM)

quote:

'We never have trouble with home schooled kids. They are always so well behaved. '

Wonder if that person would say that same thing about PS kids? LOL

quote:

I was at the library a few weeks ago and another mother there saw my kids checking out the large globe on their own and talking about the countries and states etc. and she looked at me, smiled and said, "You homeschool don't you".

That is so cool. We have only homeschooled for a short time, but I see that interest in learning and applying what they learn already. It is such a change from, "what did you learn at school today?", and the reply, "nothing".[sm=headphone.gif]



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 10:50:48 AM)

My cousin and her family are always saying how 'weird' my kids are. They think it's a bad thing. [8D] But seriously, when you ask the oldest kid if the youngest kid 'ever acts normal' you are being rude.

A friend's DH told me that my kids are the only kids he knows that are interested in electronics (in a way beyond 'this is the on button on my PS2'). And he knows at least a hundred kids well.



Sunnymom -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 11:07:16 AM)

The worst thing that happened was back when we first started home educating, I was getting my hair done and had my son with me. The stylist asked why my son was out of school, and I told her we homeschooled. She got red in the face and proceeded to lecture me harshly on how stupid my son would be, who did I think I was to attempt to do what others studied for years to be able to do, that I couldn't hide him away from the world forever.... and he was sitting right there listening to her. I never argue with anyone holding scissors, so I waited until she was done with my hair before I responded. Then I asked for the manager and told her what happened, and that I'd never be back in a place of business where customers were treated with such disrespect. There were some other customers visibly upset, and I am almost sure that one lady walked out on her appointment. Then there was a lady who followed through a grocery store parking lot yelling at me and my son for shopping during school hours... I must be a 'crazy magnet'.

On the positive side, I hear many comments about how happy and friendly and easy-going my kids are, how interested they seem to be in everything, and that they ask good questions. Overall I hear folks say that homeschooled kids tend to be more self-motivated, able to keep to a schedule and accomplish work on their own, and are generally more polite.



shadowspring -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 11:32:23 AM)

Most negative remarks are behind my back, I guess. One neighbor called this summer to say how surprised she was that my daughter was such a stellar human being, you know in a round about way saying "sorry I assumed your daughter was going to be a freak since you home schooled her". [;)]

The nicest thing: the admissions officer at the university saying that they have always had great success with the home schooled students at their school. [:D]

They said they had even considered how to market directly to home schoolers for a season. No word on why they abandoned that course of thought, but I assume it's because we're such an independent lot there is no set way to recruit us.[&:]



misaham -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 11:40:07 AM)

quote:

but I assume it's because we're such an independent lot there is no set way to recruit us.

That is what I thought when reading your post... how could they reach us? [8D]



dianetavegia -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 11:46:31 AM)

It always amazes me that people assume our children won't be able to get a job, hold down a job, succeed in life, etc. By time a lot of our kids are in the workforce, I believe many, if not most jobs will be 'work from home'. That puts OUR kids way ahead!

My son overheard someone say he'd be homeless and never get a job if he was homeschooled through high school.



misaham -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 11:57:57 AM)

quote:

My son overheard someone say he'd be homeless and never get a job if he was homeschooled through high school.

I read that to my daughter, and she laughed with this, "that sounds like a challenge to me!" in her voice! ha ha



Sunnymom -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 12:05:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dianetavegia

It always amazes me that people assume our children won't be able to get a job, hold down a job, succeed in life, etc. By time a lot of our kids are in the workforce, I believe many, if not most jobs will be 'work from home'. That puts OUR kids way ahead!

My son overheard someone say he'd be homeless and never get a job if he was homeschooled through high school.

And it never occurs to folks that the homeless population, not to mention that of jails, mental hospitals, lines at the unemployment office and job&family services, is made up of folks who went to public schools?

I don't mind if someone has questions about home education, but they sure do show their bias and ignorance when they make such asinine statements.



crankius -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 12:14:14 PM)

Sunnymom,

I just love reading your posts. I've missed seeing you around Crosswalk.



cynthia -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 12:15:37 PM)

Our family was once heckled by a homeless person when we came out of a field trip in San Diego. She was sitting on the dock by an aircraft carrier we had just come off and asked the kids why they weren't in school. TL said, "we're homeschooled." The woman started shouting about how they (the children) didn't have to put up with that and, "You have a right to a public education." We kept on going and kept shouting as we were walking away. That was one of the strangest experiences I've ever had.

People frequently compliment us on our children. They say our children are polite and a pleasure to have around. We were at the store one day and MM and Mr. Manly were hugging each other. MM had been at camp for a week and Mr. Manly had missed her a lot. The man at the counter said it was very nice to see brother and sister who love each other.



Bagel -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 12:26:47 PM)

quote:

The man at the counter said it was very nice to see brother and sister who love each other


That is so sweet!

I think that the most outright negative statement I've heard in the time that I've been homeschooling was about 5 or 6 years ago. We went to my dad's for Thanksgiving and as soon as we walked in the door, my sister's aunt takes my little girl aside and asks in the most pitiful tone, "Honey, do you get to see other children?".

Let's just say, that I wasn't feeling so loving toward the aunt at that moment.



misaham -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 12:44:54 PM)

quote:

Let's just say, that I wasn't feeling so loving toward the aunt at that moment.

It would have been funny if she had said, "there are other children?"! LOL



shadowspring -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 12:57:07 PM)

That so reminds me of the Pink Floyd lyric:

"mama's gonna put all of her fears into you" from The Wall.

It's bad enough that people do it to their own children (I have had to fight the tendency many times!) but why, oh why, would they feel obligated to do it to other people's children?

Related or not, come on people! Don't be so full of yourselves and in love with your passing thoughts. [:@]

If auntie had bothered to educate herself at all on the reality of home schooling, she would not have the opinion that home schooled children are isolated and friendless. To an adult, her remarks shout "I am an opinionated know-nothing!"

But to a child, remarks like this can plant a seed of insecurity where there was none before.

I am quite sure I would've set auntie straight, at least by pointing out how cruel it is to address children with concerns beyond their understanding or power. Maybe even about how cowardly it is to address a child about a grown-up decision when the grown-up is standing right in front of you. I do not think she would've made it unscathed out of my presence.[:@]

I think this is why:
quote:

Most negative remarks are behind my back, I guess.


[;)][sm=purplelaugh.gif]



Bagel -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 1:05:06 PM)

well this same aunt thinks that the babies and children in those Anne Geddes photos are abused because they are made to pose that way.



shadowspring -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 1:18:51 PM)

So you're saying she obviously is not easily embarrassed at her own foolish remarks?

[;)][8D]



dianetavegia -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 1:19:47 PM)

Have you ever had people ask a home schooled child 'Quick! What's 16 X 93?' I had that happen once and quickly butted in and said 'Do you ask all children that or just home schooled children? How much IS 16 X 93?' Well guess what! She didn't KNOW!



Sunnymom -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 1:28:44 PM)

I know I have told the story of the carryout at Kroger who has, on more than one occasion, tried to quiz my kids while I'm checking out. The last time I was there, he said that homeschoolers read comic books all day and call it school. I said, "You're right, and Calvin and Hobbes is our favorite." My dh wants to complain to the manager, but the guy is over 30, and over 300 lbs. I don't want to get him fired, because who else would hire him, KWIM?

When people try to quiz the kids, I either tell them that they are being rude and to mind their own business, or I tell them that my kids will answer any questions they have if they will answer mine first. They invariably shut up, which is probably the only smart thing they did all day.



his_chosen -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 1:38:25 PM)

We had someone come into this folder a while back disappointed that his home schooled relative didn't know who the first person in space was. Duh, everyone knows it was so-and-so. I read that to ds1, who quickly replied that, no, it wasn't. The first person in space was a Russian who was either injured or died (I don't remember, but ds1 knew), so the Russians didn't make that well known. So mister know-it-all was wrong!

I've had people ask me how I could ever teach my kids math and science. this was in the early years. Today at the track, ds3 wsa questioned about school. The man asked about math. Well, dh is an engineer, so what I can't do, he can.

The best is always when we go on a field trip and our kids take the time to read the signs and then ask questions. Tour guides always know.



Bagel -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 1:42:03 PM)

quote:

So you're saying she obviously is not easily embarrassed at her own foolish remarks?


apparently not!



Calea37 -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 2:21:52 PM)

I had some creepy guy try to quiz my fifth grade son whom I had JUST taken out of public school about percentages...[:@] Yeah, people don't go around quizzing ps kids but ours are fair game, I guess.[&:]

The other comment that was very hurtful to me was a friend of mine who is a school teacher when he found out I would homeschool through high school he said, "I've seen a lot of parents ruin their kids in math; they say, 'Yes, he finished algebra,' but they are so far behind...They finished *homeschool* algebra." [&o] THANKS FOR THAT VOTE OF CONFIDENCE!

Gotta love people and their thoughtless comments!



shadowspring -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 5:10:07 PM)

Calea, my home school graduate just tested out of college calculus. She finished the test before anyone else in her group. [;)]

Just don't be afraid of Algebra and neither will your kids. [:D] There are so many good Algebra books out there: Key to Algebra, Teaching Textbooks and my favorite Saxon (old unrevised books).

Some home schoolers get together to hire a tutor sometimes. There is no reason a home schooled student can't get the Algebra they need.



joannepir -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 5:20:17 PM)

For the negative: My Mom told me that we are going to "ruin" our kids.

For the positive: She also said that they are amazing children and she can't believe how bright they are.

Yep, they're "ruined."[:D]



cynthia -> RE: Most negative, most positive remarks? (8/22/2008 5:57:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: joannepir

For the negative: My Mom told me that we are going to "ruin" our kids.

For the positive: She also said that they are amazing children and she can't believe how bright they are.

Yep, they're "ruined."[:D]

That's exactly what my dad and his wife said. It was like they kept waiting for the ruination that never happened. They, however, did ruin their kids. Some of us have recovered and some of us have not. Their ruining of their children really had nothing to do with education either.

My mil, otoh, never said much, but just watched to see what would happen. She was pleasantly surprised.



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