How would you handle this? (Full Version)

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ShekinahJoy -> How would you handle this? (8/20/2008 11:28:59 AM)

Help!
First time homeschooler here. 4 year old boy (turning 5 in February)....
Right now I find time to teach him using a variety of things around the house, however, there are some things that he needs to actually sit down and do...like writing letters and numbers. What do you do when a child says 'No' I won't do that? I border on wanting to insist that he do what I am asking (okay is this a discipline issue?) or being more relaxed and letting him set the pace (is he in charge of when he learns?). For instance this morning he wanted to paint. Great. Got out the paints and he did two pictures and while he was doing that I did a couple of pages of phonics with him. I marked the page for him since he was painting. Does that count?

I know every child is different (but we only one so we can't compare really) but I would really love to be able to have him sit for a short amount of focused time to do some things. Should I require this? He is very active and loves to play play play. He plays very well and is creative. I try to be creative in my instruction too in order to keep his attention. I suppose that will get better as he gets older....

Any advice?



joannepir -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/20/2008 11:50:03 AM)

Make it fun for him so he doesn't know he is doing work. The handwriting without tears program has fun stuff for the kids to do to learn handwriting. Some of the ideas are to get a small chalkboard and use chalk or a sponge to print their letters.
You can wait for a rainy day and have him write in the foggy windows, in the dirt or sand. You can also have him make the different letters/numbers out of stones, marbles, etc.
A lot of boys balk at handwriting. Try to think of fun ways to print. Even a dry-erase board that is only brought out for "special" times.
I can't recommend Handwriting without Tears highly enough. My son couldn't even hold his pencil properly before we started this program. He loved it. We didn't start until after his 5th birthday - he had no interest before that. Then he just "clicked" in. You might also want to give him some more time.



his_chosen -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/20/2008 12:16:48 PM)

Back off. He's a little boy. Your job is to teach him to love learning. Let him explore. Read to him. Keep it fun!



Jenny-Fair -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/20/2008 1:56:15 PM)

quote:

there are some things that he needs to actually sit down and do...like writing letters and numbers.

I must disagree with you. There is no reason to make a four year old boy do seatwork. They aren't really ready for it and it won't make them ultra-bright or anything. At his age, the best thing you can do for him is facilitate his learning--he will naturally want to learn all sorts of things, so just help him to do so.



cindybode -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/21/2008 1:18:33 AM)

What Jen said.

Forcing him to do seatwork at this age will probably backfire - he will learn to hate anything that looks, feels, or smells like school if you keep it up. He's four years old. He's not going to college tomorrow! Relax.



cynthia -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/21/2008 1:36:07 AM)

I would strongly encourage you to spend $3 and listen to Andrew Pudwa's talk on teaching boys. Link here. It's quite good. For $3, you get a download and can listen to it as often as you want. It's worth it. It downloads directly to your computer, so you don't have to pay shipping and you don't have to wait more than a minute or two before you can listen to it.



Sunnymom -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/21/2008 7:28:16 AM)

Ditto, ditto, ditto.

Young boys are often not developmentally ready for formal seatwork. Give him toys and books that interest him, and read to him ALOT. Keep him away from television, and instead let him listen to audiobooks and historical dramatizations. You'll be amazed at what kids pick up through their own curiosity, and if kids can experience the satisfaction of their curiosity and the joy of discovery, they will be lifelong learners, not just the bored regurgitators of unconnected facts.



amybreit -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/21/2008 8:07:05 AM)

I totally agree with everyone here, just wanted to comment on this:

quote:

Got out the paints and he did two pictures and while he was doing that I did a couple of pages of phonics with him. I marked the page for him since he was painting. Does that count?

SURE it counts!!! He doesn't have to "fill in all the blanks" himself to learn it! KWIM? We do many things orally even though my kids are older!



JuliaHop -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/21/2008 9:14:10 AM)

When my son was doing K4 we used really colorful papers (A Beka) and if I remember correctly, we only worked a short while...when he was interested. K5 our first more structured year. From vague memory, the A Beka activities were really fun and didn't seem a lot like learning to my ds (plus he was "doing school" with his older siblings).



ShekinahJoy -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/21/2008 10:23:48 AM)

Thank you to everyone who responded! I really appreciate your support and helpful comments. I REALLY don't want him to dislike learning....any part of it. One of my goals for homeschooling is to instill a love of lifelong learning - so I will take to heart your comments.



dianetavegia -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/27/2008 9:23:39 AM)

You gotten GREAT advice!

What interests your child? Matchbox? Transformers? Pirates?

Incorporate his loves into any 'work' you want to do that day. We played store to learn coins. We used coins or colored jelly beans to learn patterns. (green, green, yellow, red, green, green, yellow....... what comes next?) We made 'car dealerships' to learn to sort. It's amazing how a four year old will divide vehicles!

Since your son likes to paint, incorporate his letters into that by having him sign the painting, put words on the painting, name creatures he draws or signs on vehicles, etc.

Make learning fun and you've already won the battle.



Bagel -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/27/2008 10:45:31 AM)

Just as the others have said, just relax. I have a son who wasn't really ready to read until he was about 8, and even now, if I want him to read something it's best to get books on topics that he's interested in.
Some other ideas that came to mind:
~playdough: he can make just about any letter or number shape with it and whatever else and in continues to encourage creativity.
~placemats! Probably any teacher supply store, if you have one nearby, and even WalMart have plastic placemats with the alphabet, maps, presidents, dinasaurs, money. I bought those early on and my kids would look at those and ask questions while they ate and they didn't realize that they were learning

And not all learning at that age is letters and numbers. Homeschooling is more than academics. It's lifeskills such as cleaning picking up his toys, hygiene skills, tying shoes, helping Mommy, learning his phone number and the name of his street, obedience, compassion, respect

My kids' doctor told me once that "You know, you didn't just start homeschooling, you've been doing it since they were born"



misaham -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/27/2008 10:47:35 AM)

quote:

My kids' doctor told me once that "You know, you didn't just start homeschooling, you've been doing it since they were born"


I LOVE that quote! May I use it???

That is my favorite thing about homeschooling, it brings learning into our everyday life, instead of it being separated into what is done only in that big brick building. [:)]



Bagel -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/27/2008 10:50:22 AM)

You may!
I think it's great, and it's true!



Bagel -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/27/2008 10:56:37 AM)

Oh, something else that I just remembered. Does your library have DVD's? Ours has all sorts of educational DVD's that are geared toward really young kids. Right now, my son has a fascination with emergency vehicles and ocean creatures. So I've been able to find DVD's featuring those and he just nearly inhales all of that information.



shadowspring -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/27/2008 2:48:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: misaham

quote:

My kids' doctor told me once that "You know, you didn't just start homeschooling, you've been doing it since they were born"


I LOVE that quote! May I use it???

That is my favorite thing about homeschooling, it brings learning into our everyday life, instead of it being separated into what is done only in that big brick building. [:)]


LOL! When I first filled out an application for a home school support group I wrote that I had already been home schooling five years because I put my baby to the breast and helped her latch on Day One. [;)]



misaham -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/27/2008 7:29:57 PM)

quote:

LOL! When I first filled out an application for a home school support group I wrote that I had already been home schooling five years because I put my baby to the breast and helped her latch on Day One.


True, true! My kids agree, it makes life and learning so much more fun. We discuss things as a family, explore as a family... how great is that??



Auben -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/27/2008 9:44:14 PM)

If you want to ease into seatwork start with something like a maze book or dot-to-dot. Work on drawing.

While it's good for them to concentrate, four years old is still very young. I never did writing at that age although we did do drawing (not coloring), painting, maze books, cutting with a scissors, etc. Those things teach small motor control which lead to easier writing later.



sen10tious -> RE: How would you handle this? (8/27/2008 11:39:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShekinahJoy

What do you do when a child says 'No' I won't do that? I border on wanting to insist that he do what I am asking (okay is this a discipline issue?) or being more relaxed and letting him set the pace (is he in charge of when he learns?).


I think you are very perceptive in you question. You see that you have two very different issues going on here. You have probably heard the metaphor about giving your children roots and wings? Yes, some things are discipline issues; roots. Some things are educational exploration; wings. I cannot tell from your post if your son was saying "no" to the learning or saying "no" to your authority.

Almost all the other posts have had good advice about how to be reasonable in what you ask him to do. It is excellent counsel as long as his protest was about the school work and not a defiance of your authority.

If your mother's intuition ever tells you that it is the other way around, that he is directly challenging you—then feel free to make him do a page of seatwork. He probably won't learn much about the lesson on the paper that day, but he will have learned an important lesson about character and obedience.



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