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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 10:28:09 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: losgan
AND - because my experience is guys who say anything, tend to be very picky. Making a statement like "height weight proportional" usually means "I want a magazine ideal of perfection."
Edited to add ... If a guy were to go on a date with a woman who didn't meet this standard, but who was otherwise attractive. What's the worst that could happen? He wants a second date? They become friends?
No. It says he wants HIS ideal of perfection. Every guy is attracted to a different type of woman. We are not all attracted to supermodels etc.
If she doesn't meet his standard how would she be otherwise attractive?
quote:
I will say that I can understand not being attracted to someone who isn't even trying to take care of themselves ... but the "height weight proportional" just seem like a "PC" (politically correct) way to not sound like you're being a jerk.
Is it less offensive to say "Height weight proportional" or to say "Sorry I don't date fat chicks?". It seems that no matter how he phrases it, whether he tries to be gentle or not, some people are going to call him a jerk for asking for what he wants.
When you go to a restaurant wanting fish do you order "Bring me whatever you think is good" or do you order fish? Why is it OK there but not when you are looking for someone to spend the rest of your life together?
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 10:30:26 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
Life was less complicated before the internet, if you ask me. I miss meeting people in person first. *sigh*
For some of us the internet is one of the few options available. I can't get out socially much, there are no suitable woman at my church and I'm not going to do the church hop just to hunt for a wife. On-line lets me filter out the candidates.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 10:34:04 PM
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BugLady
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Because *people* aren't fish on the menu. We don't get to just order what we want in people and poof there it is.
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Evidence of mental disease, mental defect, or mental disorder is admissable solely on the issue of whether or not the accused actually formed a required specific intent...
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 10:50:56 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
Because *people* aren't fish on the menu. We don't get to just order what we want in people and poof there it is.
NO. But if we don't look for just what we want we have NO chance of getting it do we. I think it would be awful to go through life always having to fight temptation to look elsewhere because who you have at home is not what you wanted. WHy not just look for what you want?
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 10:53:22 PM
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BugLady
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If what you got was not what you wanted why did you get her?
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Evidence of mental disease, mental defect, or mental disorder is admissable solely on the issue of whether or not the accused actually formed a required specific intent...
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 10:56:52 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12892
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
Ladies how would you interpret height and weight proportional , in reference to what the women should be, in a man's online dating profile?
I await your responses. 
While I may not be overly thrilled with seeing this - it shows me that the man does know what he is looking for, and it means that no matter how much we might line up in other areas - there's a very good chance that he won't be interested.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 11:13:48 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
If what you got was not what you wanted why did you get her?
BINGO!!!! That's why you don't date those who aren't attractive to you!!
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 11:17:25 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
He may know what thinks he wants, but he's sure to miss out on some true beauty out there.
But it won't be beautiful to him.
When I was in school (many many (many) years ago), there were girls my friends thought were drop dead gorgeous who I thought had been beaten with the ugly stick, and vice versa.
Rather than complain about those who don't find us attractive it's better to find those who do. If we don't find ourselves attractive then we can work on fixing that too. (Except in my case. I make quasimodo look like a movie star. (I just know that OH is around here somewhere))
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 11:21:34 PM
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mutinywxgirl
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quote:
Rather than complain about those who don't find us attractive it's better to find those who do. If we don't find ourselves attractive then we can work on fixing that too.
Just needed repeated.......and this comes from someone who has immense self-esteem issues, but is working on them.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 11:23:40 PM
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BugLady
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
If what you got was not what you wanted why did you get her?
BINGO!!!! That's why you don't date those who aren't attractive to you!!
I still think there are ways to be more tactful about expressing what will attract you, though.
_____________________________
Evidence of mental disease, mental defect, or mental disorder is admissable solely on the issue of whether or not the accused actually formed a required specific intent...
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 11:24:53 PM
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BugLady
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Oh, I'm not complaining. I'm the one he wants. LOL!
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 11:27:29 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
If what you got was not what you wanted why did you get her?
BINGO!!!! That's why you don't date those who aren't attractive to you!!
I still think there are ways to be more tactful about expressing what will attract you, though.
Wonderful. Maybe you can help us to do better. Let's hit the hard one first. Let's say I will not date an overweight woman. How do I say that more tactfully in a profile?
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 11:32:33 PM
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BugLady
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A kind way to put it: "I would hope this person leads a healthy lifestyle"
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 11:34:27 PM
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mutinywxgirl
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The only problem with that is that some believe you can be healthy and overweight. So, while it helps, there is still room for misinterpretation.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 11:40:48 PM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
A kind way to put it: "I would hope this person leads a healthy lifestyle"
But what if that's not what they meant? What if the guy means I want someone who has huge breast and a butt to match. What if that's what he means by well proportioned lady? Or what if he meant by proportion is someone who's so slim, she doesn't have much of any meat on her body. Also, there's people who lead a very active, healthy lifestyle who doesn't have a well proportioned body? I know someone at the gym who works out daily, and no matter what she does, she'll never achieve those supermodel type because she's just not made that way. Her lower body is just wayyyy bigger than her upper body. But she's healthy and active. Would a man looking for a woman with an hourglass figure find her visually appealing? I doubt it.
Why is this such a big deal?
_____________________________
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint....Isaiah 40: 31
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 11:47:16 PM
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AngelInWaiting1983
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quote:
-Must not be overweight..... I mean, come on, some of you out there put down "Average".... who lied to you and told you that being overweight is "Average"??? I am not shallow, but come on, there has to be some chemistry.
I just found this on a site that I use. Its a little disheartening, but at the same time the guy is telling the truth.
If i'm in a room full of people, more than likely i'll notice the 6 ft 2 in, athletic build guy first. I think its nature. I mean nature does have its way of evening things out. I find that most guys that are attracted to me, i'm not attracted to them.
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Reflecting with Terri
Dance like no one is watching. If they are, who cares!
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 11:48:37 PM
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BugLady
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It's not a big deal. I just think there are kinder ways to treat people than reducing them to our specifications.
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Evidence of mental disease, mental defect, or mental disorder is admissable solely on the issue of whether or not the accused actually formed a required specific intent...
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/20/2008 11:59:28 PM
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joy2give2u
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From: Indiana
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quote:
Rather than complain about those who don't find us attractive it's better to find those who do. I am not complaining either. I thought I was explaining an opposing viewpoint.
The two trains of thoughts.......
1. Physical beauty should be one of the first things used to disqualify another since it is not believed love can change the way someone is seen.
2. Love is blind and a person, who is not attractive, can become the most beautiful person in the world when you fall in love with them.
Each post I thought I was making it clear that at the time of marriage the man/woman in love saw the other as beautiful.....therefore when they married they married someone who they see as beautiful even though physically they have not changed for the person they saw as not so beautiful before.
Some on here talk as though that can and will never happen yet I can think of three couples currently dating and in love where one or both did not find the other attractive upon first view.
Lisa, John and others who think perception of beauty does not change as we grow to know a person will probably never understand what I am speaking of and that is OK because I will never understand your point of view.
The great thing about being aware of which train of thought you buy into is that someone who thinks as I do would never be interested in someone who is on the other train..............
So to stay on track regarding the man in the OP.......it is probably good he posted as he did so he doesn't waste the time of a person who thinks his posting such makes him shallow and somewhat a jerk LOL.............and he doesn't waste his time on someone who will no doubt see him as shallow in the future.
< Message edited by joy2give2u -- 8/21/2008 10:19:09 AM >
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 12:05:24 AM
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BugLady
Posts: 2500
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quote:
it is probably good he posted as he did so he doesn't waste the time of a person who thinks his posting such makes him shallow and somewhat a jerk LOL.............and he doesn't waste his time on someone who will no doubt see him as shallow in the future.
...this is actually kinda the point I was trying to make with him. I was explaining how he might be perceived by some women based on listing requirements. And that he might miss out on some quality women who actually fit the description, but moved on because how he worded his profile made him seem shallow and demanding.
Sorry you're mad, Joy.
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Evidence of mental disease, mental defect, or mental disorder is admissable solely on the issue of whether or not the accused actually formed a required specific intent...
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 12:15:01 AM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
It's not a big deal. I just think there are kinder ways to treat people than reducing them to our specifications.
Why is it unkind to specify in your dating profile that you want a specific person? Or how is it reducing anyone? In my profile, I listed a lot of things that I want. If anyone doesn't fit the list, and not just the ones that are about physical appearance, they shouldn't be wasting their time contacting me. I know I won't be wasting my time either. I mean, I've shut down many many matches because they don't seem to be outdoorsy or athletic. Am I anyway reducing the ones that don't fit the list to my specification because I want someone who I can share my passions with? It's the same with physical appearance. I don't want to date someone who's shorter than me, and probably never will. Does that mean a short man should feel bad about my preferences? No. Why waste any energy? He can view me as shallow, but what would be the point? It won't change me and my preferences.
We only have some 70 years of life on this earth. Preference, lists, call it what you want, they are designed to streamline the search process. We simply cannot spend a year figuring out if someone is right for us or not. The sooner you can weed out the ones that don't fit your list, the sooner you'll find the one that do. That's the purpose of initial attraction--to make our search easier.
< Message edited by Prairiehiker -- 8/21/2008 12:36:41 AM >
_____________________________
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint....Isaiah 40: 31
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 12:28:48 AM
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BugLady
Posts: 2500
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quote:
The sooner you can weed out the ones that don't fit your list, the sooner you'll find the one that do.
That's just it, people aren't weeds. I know that's not what you meant. I just don't like the idea of excluding people because of preconceived ideas one might have.
I'll just concede that online dating is not my preference. LOL! It's turning the dating and mating process into a marketing process, imo.
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Evidence of mental disease, mental defect, or mental disorder is admissable solely on the issue of whether or not the accused actually formed a required specific intent...
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RE: Ladies your interpretation, please. - 8/21/2008 12:38:52 AM
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humbleinspirit
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Personally I think that online dating "can be" shallow. Now that doesn't mean that everyone is, however usually those doing online are looking for something in particular instead.
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