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ebony101 -> Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 9:24:49 AM)

I just thought it would be great for us to have a post where we could write about great moments that we've had as singles. Most of the time we're always writing about relationships and marriages and men and women. Let's pull out those moments when we had great fun and were able to do so because, at the moment, we're single!

Selfishly the idea for this post came up because just a few days ago I had a great moment. A group of friends and I decided to head to a really great beach which is located along a treacherous stretch. None of us had been to that bay for about 3 years. So we all packed up and headed out. And I have to say it was the 2nd best day of the year for me. We spread out our beach blankets in the shade of a coconut tree and just lazed away the entire day.

We bought stuff to eat, we talked, slept, bathed, then talked and snoozed again, just because we had the entire day to do so and not a care in the world. We kept postponing the time to leave. We didn't leave until we absolutely had to ... and then because it would be too dark to drive home.

It occurred to me that we could do stuff like that because we're single no one had to worry about getting home for any reason.

Looking forward to reading other great moments [:D].



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 9:52:50 AM)

For me, it's being able to pick up at a moment's notice and go to DC for a soccer game - just because. It's being able to go meet friends in other states - just because. It's being able to go to the GT - just because.



Prairiehiker -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 11:18:57 AM)

I've had a lot of great moments, but I can't say that I have the same freedom as the rest of the singles have. I'm a single mom with one child and no outside help whatsoever so I rarely do things without my daughter. Almost everything I do, except for work, is with her. And it's been great. IF I were married, I doubt I wouldn't be doing any of those things. If anything, I want to start doing a lot of those things with another adult because at times, it can get lonely not having any adult conversations. I still enjoy every moments of it though.



John_O -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 2:31:08 PM)

There have been no great moments as a single (possible exceptions being the two GTs held here.). Like PH I'm a single parent and do not have the freedom normally associated with single hood.

I look back on my singles days before I met M and the experiences I had then pale in comparison to the experiences I had while married. (Of course I was lost back then which does contribute).

For me, single life doesn't cut it. I was designed to be married.



rgod -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 3:58:19 PM)

This is a great thread. I do more than my fair share of kevtching about being single - but to be fair, I really have enjoyed being single and have gotten a chance to do lots of things - mostly because I am not a parent (I think it would be a lot harder to do stuff if I had a kid). I lived a pretty sedentary life as a single and was miserable for a while - then one day it hit me: "Why am I living the life of a married person when I don't have to?" So, I started doing things and since I'm kind of adventurous by nature (and more than willing to conquer fear) - I'm having a blast. While I would prefer to have a husband, lets just say no grass is growing under my feet!

Here are a few things that come to mind (most are travel related):

- Going to the spa and walking on the beach, writing, and watching the sunset in Bali

- Watching an awesome neo-classical opera at a theatre in Seville (with my best friend at the time and to this day I've never heard anything else quite like it) and eating tapas afterwards

- Taking a spur of the moment Sunday drive through the Pennsylvanian mountains and driving through the winding hills

- Flying in a little cessna airplane over the Grand Canyon on a spur-of-the moment trip and realizing that there is no fence around it. I thought there was a fence because I saw one on an old Brady Bunch episode. Well, not true. You can fall in ... and quite easily. But you can also take some awesome photos there!

- Driving by myself through the desert to meet a girlfriend in LA and talking to God all the way there. I was scared to death (it was my first trip by myself) but I felt so safe when I started talking to God. I'll never forget that precious experience.

- Visiting a winery with friends in Capetown and participating in impromptu wine-tasting; staying at a house in the Ceres mountains and taking photos of all the beautiful flowers and animals

- Watching fourth of july fireworks with friends on the mall in D.C.

- Walking on the beach in Florida with a good friend and laughing about life in general

- Going to church and finding someone who needs prayer - and being able to stay with them all night if necessary

- Working as a paid actress/singer/dancer for a ministry, acting in my first show and experiencing my first little bit of freedom to become a character ...

- Not having to explain financial boo boos (like the time I accidentally ran up a $350 phone bill because I didn't realize my dial-up internet connection was tied to a long distance number) or a $300 phone bill (I made a phone call to a friend in Japan but didn't realize I didn't have an international calling plan) or rehash stupid mistakes (like the time I plugged my brand new laptop into the wall during a storm and a lightning strike fried the motherboard - $1000 down the drain). This was over the course of 10 years - but I was glad each time that I had no husband to remind me of these mistakes :)

- Everytime I see an exceptionally rude child or sarcastic husband with a harried wife while grocery shopping and I realize that I can simply push my cart down the other aisle is a great moment in the life of a single person (sorry - but it is true - although one day the shoe might be on the other foot - particularly during the teenage years ...) :)

- Riding in a helicopter in Borneo and holding my breath as the plane came close to the tops of the hills; riding motorcycles up and down to different villages and administering literacy projects and meeting such sweet people ...

- Walking up and down the Great Wall of China and trying to keep up with the older people (they were moving pretty quickly and it was steep)

I have other great moments and pray that there will be many more as long as I am single, and to be honest, I worry that I'll be married to a guy who doesn't want to do anything. But I'll stop here. Mostly, it is fun to meet new people - which seems to be easier to do when you are single. And I'm having a blast right now because I'm getting a chance to go back to school, to learn what I want - what God is leading me to do - instead of deciding to do jobs/pursue education to make more money. I'm getting paid to minister through the arts; I can pursue acting, music, writing - and I don't have to worry about anyone else. I've been so blessed and don't take anything for granted! So, while I'd love to be married and have children - I have really enjoyed my life as a single person - so when I eventually get married - I will have no regrets.



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 4:31:18 PM)

Every Friday night I open my home to youth around the town for a Bible study, home cooked meal and good ol' fashioned fun. We play video games, watch movies, pop on the iPod and dance, stuff like that. It's great because I have the freedom to do it and I don't have to worry about anything other than making sure there is enough toilet paper! [:)]



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 5:43:05 PM)

Unlike Prairie Hiker and JohnO, I am not a single parent, however I have physical and financial limitations, as well as the fact that I take care of my disabled sister, so I don't really have the carefree life of a single that one would imagine. I have gotten to take 4 trips back east, but they were all for weddings, not for recreation and vacation(although one of the weddings was in a vicinity that enabled me to visit my best friend, a friend from college, my two aunts-from different sides of the family-and my grandma-I was especially thankful to visit my grandma, because that is the last I ever saw of her before she died, but still it was a rushed trip). And the last one wasn't even a close personal friend of mine. It was the daughter of family friends, and when they first heard no one in our family could go, they were very dissapointed, so my parents sent me as the representative. And one of the weddings was my best friend's, and I was her maid of honor, an honor I GREATLY appreciated, but it was a lot of work. In fact, both of my married sisters have had the priviledges of many more and more exotic vacations than I ever have.

However, when my friend was here visiting, my mom did give me a whole day off for us both to go to the water park. That was fun. She also gave us bits and pieces of time to do other things.



ChoirDJ -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 8:01:43 PM)

I had a great moment this past weekend. Our ministry had an all night time of prayer, fellowship, games, ping-pong, and singing. I honestly didn't think it was going to last all night but it did. Some people fell asleep while others stayed up the entire time. Me and one of the other guys cooked the women a huge breakfast at 5ish. Everyone left around 7 and it was lights out for me. I can't remember the last time I stayed up all night for anything.



Psalms274 -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 8:24:11 PM)

quote:

There have been no great moments as a single (possible exceptions being the two GTs held here.). Like PH I'm a single parent and do not have the freedom normally associated with single hood.


I am quoting John_O's post, but this is for all of us. I am sure everyone feels this way AT TIMES ... but ... if you can examine those years and truly say, I have not experienced anything great, this means you are walking around with blinders that have kept you (and will continue to keep you should you choose to continue in that mind set) from seeing all the great opportunities that God has for you in this moment ... while you are not married.

He has something for you now, in your singleness. We all need to stay out of that pity party mode and expect to see Him do great things … because your marital status has nothing to do with God's ability to do something great and wonderful in your life. You CAN miss it though if you are too busy dwelling on something you don't have.

From Psalm 90 … “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

We do not know how long we are here … we do not know whether we have a day or 60 years left … we do not know what tomorrow brings, but we do know Who is on the throne and whether married or single, He has great moments for us right here, right now. We just need Him to open our eyes to see clearly.

I guess that was a soapbox of sorts [8D]…. Ok to answer … so many! I have had the opportunity to minister through my voice in worship, to speak truth to one who needed it in that moment, to share the love of Christ to one way over in Uganda and to be part of a team that lead a man to Christ who then died (in the arms of the Savior) just two months later …. And so many more that I am not even aware of … so many times others approach me to share how they were blessed by something that involved something I was in the midst of … and I hardly ever remember, but am so grateful that the Father let me join Him in that moment.

We were bought with a price and for a purpose … never forget that . And remember that right now in this moment is ordained by the Father, you just have to ask Him to open your eyes so that you can see where it is He is working, and join Him.



losgan -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 8:48:50 PM)

I'm sure I'll think of others - but this weekend, I was on crew at the church and so was home a lot. I got to spend about 4-5 random hours at my (single mother) neighbor's house playing Rock Band with her and her two sons!

Then I came home and did whatever I wanted (watched a Planet Earth episode, ate a fried egg sandwich and some melon, and wore a mud-mask around with no one commenting on my green face or messy hair).

And I have the freedom and quiet to spend as much time in my quiet time as I want.

I'll go to bed early so I can get up early and run before it is 10,000 degrees outside ...

I have to say, I hope I don't get TOO used to this lack of responsibility. Not having to make time for someone ... of course, as soon as that is out of my mouth I realize I would love to make time for the right someone! But I'm learning to appreciate this season as well.



losgan -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 9:17:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: John_O

There have been no great moments as a single (possible exceptions being the two GTs held here.). Like PH I'm a single parent and do not have the freedom normally associated with single hood.

I look back on my singles days before I met M and the experiences I had then pale in comparison to the experiences I had while married. (Of course I was lost back then which does contribute).

For me, single life doesn't cut it. I was designed to be married.


What about the extra time and attention you get to pour into your daughter?

I understand that we are designed to have two parents - but I do think you have an opportunity right now that most dads don't get. I wish I had been closer to my dad when I was younger - but he worked, and when he got home his attention was divided between me, mom, and two brothers. And of course as the only girl I felt a certain allegiance to my mom that sometimes impeded me from seeking out my dad.

So - it might feel like having an Oreo without the sweet center ... but one side of an Oreo ain't bad either!



John_O -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 9:49:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Psalms274

quote:

There have been no great moments as a single (possible exceptions being the two GTs held here.). Like PH I'm a single parent and do not have the freedom normally associated with single hood.


I am quoting John_O's post, but this is for all of us. I am sure everyone feels this way AT TIMES ... but ... if you can examine those years and truly say, I have not experienced anything great, this means you are walking around with blinders that scream "I hate being single, I want to be married now" that have kept you (and will continue to keep you should you choose to continue in that mind set) from seeing all the great opportunities that God has for you in this moment ... while you are not married.


Sorry Psalms but I'm not wearing blinders. I just know the circumstances of my life. I don't "hate" being single, I'm just not any good at it. I truly was designed to be married.

I have no room or any time to do any of my hobbies at the moment. I have very little time to socialize (I went golfing this weekend. First time I got out to play with the guys in a year or two. Had a good time but played rotten.).

It's not like the Girl's mom is around somewhere. Responsibilities keep me kind of tied down.

Or perhaps I just have a different definition of "great" than you all do.



John_O -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 9:54:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: losgan
What about the extra time and attention you get to pour into your daughter?


I've always poured time and attention into my daughter. As I said before I was designed to be married. Family is the very first focus of ministry so I always focused on family. I now need to pour more into her though to help her heal and recover.

quote:

I understand that we are designed to have two parents - but I do think you have an opportunity right now that most dads don't get. I wish I had been closer to my dad when I was younger - but he worked, and when he got home his attention was divided between me, mom, and two brothers. And of course as the only girl I felt a certain allegiance to my mom that sometimes impeded me from seeking out my dad.


I understand what you are saying but I've been her primary caregiver since M got sick (The Girl was 2). In fact, due to the seizures I was the one that got up and fed her at nights when she was a baby (It was very very not good for M's sleep to be interrupted)

I see none of these as being great moments. They are just what life is.



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 9:56:38 PM)

quote:


I am quoting John_O's post, but this is for all of us. I am sure everyone feels this way AT TIMES ... but ... if you can examine those years and truly say, I have not experienced anything great, this means you are walking around with blinders that scream "I hate being single, I want to be married now" that have kept you (and will continue to keep you should you choose to continue in that mind set) from seeing all the great opportunities that God has for you in this moment ... while you are not married.

He has something for you now, in your singleness. We all need to stay out of that pity party mode and expect to see Him do great things … because your marital status has nothing to do with God's ability to do something great and wonderful in your life. You CAN miss it though if you are too busy dwelling on something you don't have.


I'm sorry, but I find these statements somewhat judgemental. If I had gotten to be a HEALTHY single, I think I would have thoroughly enjoyed it. I could have been the Kindergarten teacher I always wanted to be, traveled during the summers, bought a house etc. But when you get a chronic illness, and some of its affects are mental, and your parents have had to do a ton of stuff for you because of it, and your sisters who have left home are mad at you for still living at home even though you don't even WANT to be living at home, and you work your tail off for your parents as much as your health allows, but you have extended family that accuse you of not doing anything around the house, um yeah, that makes single life real fun. Not to mention being turned down by every health insurance because of pre existing conditions, except for one that charges $363.00 a month, and also not being healthy enough or qualified enough to do the jobs that provide good health insurance. Not to mention being in physical pain ALL THE TIME.

Which is why I totally understand where JohnO and prairiehiker are coming from. I realize bad health and children aren't the same thing, but they BOTH cause single life to be VERY DIFFERENT from what one generally imagines single life to be.



Prairiehiker -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 10:15:15 PM)

I, too, find that statement kind of harsh. I don't see many people on here having a pity party. And so what, if during one season of a person's life she goes into a pity party mode. It's part of life. A lot of biblical characters went into that, and GOd met them there.

IT just means we're being real. Being content isn't something you can decide one moment, and poof, you are content. It's a process that we arrive at. It gets pretty tiring to hear from people that when some of us express a desire to be in a relationship that we are in a stage of self pity and we're not doing our best, or living our lives. That's far from reality.

Honestly, i've had so many great moments being single and being a single parent. We've done so much, experience so much. I'm not taking away something from the experience when I say that it would be nice to experience those things with someone. I think I would enjoy life so much more if I had someone to share it with than if I am single.

And it's not part of my theology to believe that every thing that I experience in life is God's will. I'm exploring the possibility that it's not God's will for me to be single because even though I am good at it, I really don't like it, and would not choose to remain single all my life. Perhaps it is my own doing.



Psalms274 -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 11:10:25 PM)

Let me try to clarify … and give some perspective of where I am coming from … I actually was not being harsh in my heart at all … just attempting to remind all of us in those times when we feel like “I can’t do this, I am not cut out for this,” that our God is so much bigger than our circumstances. I was speaking to myself as well … and I clearly stated “if you can examine those years and truly say,’ I have not experienced anything great’” which I thought would be understood as, if you have NEVER experienced a great moment in your singleness. And if those words hold true for any of us, we do have some type of blinders on and are indeed missing things along the way ( i should not have labeled the blinders and will go back to delete the name I gave them) … and our prayer should be for God to open our eyes so that we can see. I was not talking about those times we need to vent and be real … I was talking about an attitude that has never been able to see or appreciate anything great because we missed it. The key word here is never.

As a single, (after growing up in an abusive home with two alcoholic parents) I have lost my Dad, and two of my brothers, have had two cancer scares, have been stalked, suffered financial hardship and layoffs, had dreams crumble in front of my face, had to move to many times than I am able to track, watched friends die (both physically and emotionally) completely by myself with no support from anyone at times … and that is just the tip of the iceberg. I have had to go through so much without anyone to help … no one who would answer my call … no one to go home to. There has never been a moment in my life where I felt I was better at being single than at being married (in fact those who know me best would say the same about my make-up) … I have always wanted to be a wife and mom first … but I am not. If I chose to dwell on these things I do not know how it would be possible to hang on.

But God ….

He is bigger than anything I have ever faced and will ever face. I have been most miserable when I think about those things I wish for but do not have … so I have to choose to take my eyes off of myself and my circumstances and place them onto the One Who can and has carried me through so much more than I thought was possible to go through … and He tells me I am not to just get through … but to find greatness in the very small things He has entrusted to me. I am to open my eyes to see Him … and to join Him now … even though I would not choose this road had it been my choice.

I am sorry if anyone thought my response was directed at them ... I thought I was clear that it was not directed at any one person (That is why I said in the first sentence, "this is for all of us" because we all go through those times.)

I won't come back to this ... but please know i was not coming from a stand point of "you shouldn't go there or do this" but from a heart that says, "please don't stay there, you will only feel pain, and God has something wonderful if you just ask Him to open your eyes to see as He does, and to expect Him to answer."



BlessedAngel1983 -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/17/2008 11:23:53 PM)

Great moments as a single for me are being able to drop whatever i'm doing and be there for a friend in need. I've gotten calls at 4 AM because someone needed me. If I were married or dating I couldn't do that.



ShallbeRebuilt -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/18/2008 12:03:05 AM)

Quite a bit of my singleness has be very painful. But there are great things, too:

I second whoever said "not having to answer to anyone for financial boo-boos".

Also, I would not have gotten to go to the GT. Without the 9 + years of singleness before that I would never have had the guts to take off and drive myself in completely unfamiliar country TO the GT.

Getting up in the middle of the night and heading out to the deck to sleep the rest of the night away in the hammock would probably cause misunderstandings.

Going to school would never have happened.

Having the house I have now and love would never have happened.

Although I am a single parent, my children were at ages disparate enough that I quite often was able to leave the house on my own without worrying...the older children were competent babysitters before their dad was killed. And I have great parents and parents-in-law. So I wasn't more tied down that I desired to be.

Yeah. There are nice things about it.

shallbe



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/18/2008 10:08:59 AM)

this thread is a good idea and i know meant to be an encouragement to singles. boundless has several articles in this line of thought and i always think they exclude single parents by having the base hypothesis being single equals lots of time + money + freedom. this means that getting married will lead to a reduction in time, money, and freedom. i guess i never found this to be the case, so can't relate as well as some. i've had great moments being married and great moments being single. perhaps being married has an added advantage to me of being able to share them with someone really close. obviously they are different types of moments but still great :)



offtheisland -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/18/2008 11:56:31 AM)

The only thing I can think of is being able to go to bed whenever I want to. But, then again, it is not great going to an empty bed. I would rather be married...



joy2give2u -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/18/2008 3:02:23 PM)

I can think of many great moments for singles........

A few which come to mind from life experiences......

When my father, who rarely used words to express his love, said, "Dawn you have been so good to me"

"I did want any daughter would do", I replied

"No you did what a daughter who loves her father would do,"

That was a great moment in my life..........

If I had gotten married when my father was alive, and I never had the opportunity to care for him, he would have said something else which I would remember as a great moment between he and I........

Another........

When I was rocking Sky as a baby, looked down on her and the tears began to fall as my love for her overwhelmed me...........that was a great moment......realizing the depth of the love I could feel for a child......yes that was a great moment.

If I had gotten married and had children of my own I am sure I would have had a similar moment with my own child and my great moment, though different, would still have impacted me powerfully.

Ahhh a great moment when I stood looking over Painted Canyon and watched the sunset paint the canyon with such vivid colors a camera finds it impossible to capture the moment...when the sun set and turning in a 360 loop not a single light could be seen in any direction over the miles and miles of canyonland.........and when the stars made their appearance filling the sky with so many their fingers touched..........wow that was a great moment.

If I had married watching the same stars dance across the sky, on vacation with my husband ,would have been a great moment.

I could go on but I think my point is clear..........

Great moments happen whether single or married.......our martial status just changes the circumstances of those moments......



Blazingson -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/18/2008 4:35:36 PM)

All of the great moments I've had as a single have occurred all alone on horseback in the mountains hunting.



joy2give2u -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/18/2008 5:07:53 PM)

quote:

All of the great moments I've had as a single have occurred all alone on horseback in the mountains hunting.
Great moments for you maybe but not so great for the elk or deer you were hunting.......[X(][X(] [:)]



gaylel1 -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/18/2008 5:52:08 PM)

My great moment came as a single this past weekend when 110,000 people came and said "yes" to Jesus at the Harvest Crusade this weekend, which I became a counselor, encouraging people in their new-found faith and prayed for people. This crusade was a tribute to Christopher Laurie, who went on to be with the Lord three weeks ago.

I was there to support Greg, who's our brother in christ, because he was hurting over the loss of his son. I was there for Cathe, Brittney, Jonathan and Stella because they also lost a son, a brother, a husband and a father. They needed my support(and everyone elses in the crowd) and in turn, Greg preached with much urgency about the gospel and heaven.

That was my great moment, and you can read about it in my blog.




CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: Great Moments (for singles) (8/19/2008 8:15:23 AM)

A majority of the great moments in my life have been in the last 4 years as a single.

Sure, I'm a divorced mom with 2 kids trying to be and do more than one person can or should have to do. But great moments are a state of mind. Being in the middle of a TOO busy day when none of us wants to have to rush around anymore or go anywhere else or do anything more and to be able to crack up and laugh til we cry over some ridiculous mishap that's going to make us late for the next thing is a GREAT MOMENT.



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