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staceynms -> Church, gossip and hypocrisy (8/14/2008 6:00:42 PM)
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Hi ya'll,
I'm Stacey, new to the forums. I have a question. Hope to get some insight from you all.
We have been attending our church for nine years. We have raised both our children in this church. It's a large church. But this year we found out that our teen daughter and her friends were allowed to drink at certain houses. The parents condoned this behavior and actually had a pact amongst a few of them. The pact was that they would allow the kids to drink as long as they did not drive. I was appalled upon hearing of this. And took a stand that this is wrong. Most of the parents do not attend our church. However, one couple does. But they state they were not involved in the pact and did not allow the kids the drink. However, they led me to believe that they would be chaperoning our daughter's senior trip. After her getting home and hearing of what all went on, I was livid. Confronting the parents only led to, sorry you felt we were there to chaperone. We were there only for emergencies.
We do worship with this family and attend the same Sunday school class. I'm utterly disappointed in these families and it's hard to get over this. However, the Lord is working on me for forgiveness.
Well since all this happened our 18 y.o. daughter fled our home, based on us telling her she could not stay here and not obey our house rules. She fled to the home of the non chaperoning parents. Wherein, I was livid. But kept it to myself. Then one day I did not, I let them know how I felt about them, hurt. So now, people at church are coming up to me and quoting scripture to me that the bible says to not provoke your children and that specifically means to fathers, b/c fathers can be intolerable. Hmm? When did underage drinking become tolerable? When did hearing of adults providing and allowing underage drinking become tolerable? I can only assume that these people who are coming up to church are gossiping about our family. The persons coming up to us and the family that our daughter fled to. Which by the way, she is not there anymore, she's moved on to another family. Oh and I was told that I was not broken enough for their likings, because I seemed to be in harmony with my child out of the home. My question is this....
If you attend a church where you know there is gossip and hypocrisy going on, do you stay or search for a new church? I want so badly to leave but my husband, you know the intolerable one, he says we need to stay and not let them run us off.
The Lord has broken us over our daughter living a life we did not raise her in. I feel angry that someone could judge me based on what they think they see, not what they know. I feel angry that people feel they have the right to give me advice on raising my children, when they do not have such a strong willed child. Or they allow their child to do things that we didn't think was appropriate for our child to do. My heart is so very broken over this. I love our church, I love the people, but how do I go and worship when God is dealing with me in areas of bitterness, anger, resentment towards these people. Will I be a stumbling block for the congregation because my heart is not where God wants it. Or will God give me time to get over this? I'm so confused. I can tell you this. I will not confront anyone again. But when and if someone else comes up to me to give me advice on how to raise my child, I will say..... well I don't know what I'll say. Everything sounds smarty and bitter, so I don't know what I'd say. Comments and advice welcomed....
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