What turns you off in a partner or mate (Full Version)

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revbob4God -> What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/13/2008 8:31:16 AM)

Ladies,

Greetings and salutations. Hope everyone is having a wonderful day. Next question, what really turns you off in a mate or partner, and why.



mrsrevbob -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/13/2008 9:35:29 AM)

It really turns me off when somebody acts like they know everything there is to know about me, but don't because it is almost like saying "Spare me the mystery, I am no longer interested."



3tulips -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/13/2008 4:42:45 PM)

Right now what is really turning me off in my partner (husband) is his inability to say no to his mom. I am not respected in my own home. She can come anytime she wants to and my husband does not either say "No" or "let me discuss this with 3tulips first."



twinkly -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/13/2008 7:46:36 PM)

well, from past partners I can tell you what turned me off:

selfishness: everything revolved around their happiness. If I needed to talk or to cry or just someone to listen, I did not get it. But if THEY needed that, I had better drop everything and do it or else *I* didn't care.

Having my needs put to the back burner or not met at all.

Disrespect of boundaries.

not working as a team. My exhusband and I actually had separate bank accounts and I had no idea how much money he made or had!

I am completely turned off when my partner will not help around the house and with the kids. If we both work full time then we both need to help.

I probably should stop here cuz I could say more!



sudden -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/13/2008 7:50:59 PM)

Stinky morning breath!

Sudden



Focusing -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/14/2008 12:36:11 AM)

Someone who doesn't take the time to listen when I'm trying to share something important, you know the mindless "um hum" while his eyes are still glued to the television.

Someone who cannot respect boundaries. Not just boundaries that I set, but boundaries that others set as well.

Immaturity. It's one thing to play around and have fun, I am all for that, but when I have reached my limit and say enough and he keeps poking at me like an annoying little brother - bye.

Insensitivity. Okay, the dress may not be the most flattering thing he's ever seen on me, but it isn't necessary to say "Ah! You look really horrible in that!" Or, after a really difficult day, I want an ear to listen and let me just get it off my chest. I do not want to hear "You're just being a whiny crybaby" or "Suck it up" or even worse "Oh, it's that time of the month huh."

And as Twinkly said: working as a team. If we are both working full time jobs, we both need to contribute to running the house.



car2ner -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/15/2008 8:30:30 AM)

Lying!



ames01 -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/15/2008 11:38:58 AM)

Ditto this:
quote:

selfishness: everything revolved around their happiness. If I needed to talk or to cry or just someone to listen, I did not get it. But if THEY needed that, I had better drop everything and do it or else *I* didn't care.

Having my needs put to the back burner or not met at all.


and this:

quote:

Lying!


I would include lying by omission in that as well.

A few I haven't seen mentioned:

- Finding the time to do everything else he wants to do, but being "too busy" to spend any time with me.

- Being unwilling to talk about problems and find a mutually acceptable solution.

- Saying nasty and hurtful things in anger.



Angie_K -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/15/2008 1:03:54 PM)


Being interrupted.

Not listening or paying attention.



ames01 -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/15/2008 2:13:10 PM)

I've been asked to explain what I meant by "lying by omission" a little better. [:)]

What I meant by that was someone who has technically told something that is true about a situation, but has deliberately left out part of it that the person who is being told should know, or might be hurt by. An example would be a husband who tells his wife he was late coming home because a coworker had car trouble and needed a ride home, and omits the part that it was a single female coworker who has been flirting with him for months. I hope that is a little more clear than my original answer.



Prairiehiker -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/15/2008 8:21:37 PM)

Ignorance
self centredness
Shallowness/pretentiousness
Overly Materialistic/greed
Extremely status conscious
lack of interest in anything other than his job or money
Too serious
No sense of adventure
Bad hygiene (#1)
No sense of kindness and compassion
bad mouths his exes



ebony101 -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/21/2008 7:30:59 PM)

I remember having mentioned this in other threads & I know that it has been mentioned in this thread --- but it bears mentioning again. As far as I am concerned nothing is more upsetting than a partner who is dishonest. I could use some more synonyms but I believe that says it all. Imagine building a whole relationship on lies --- oooooh (shudders). From personal experience that takes the cake. [:@]



Catalpa -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/21/2008 9:59:24 PM)

Lying.
Arrogance.
Bad hygiene.
Irresponsibility.



rgod -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/21/2008 10:28:06 PM)

A pet peeve of mine is a guy who wants to continually stereotyping women and men. Like, if someone says "men are like this ______ but women are like this ______" - and it keeps happening over and over again - I don't like it because I don't think that there are one-size-fits-all statements that you can make about everybody. Every woman isn't sensitive, emotional, and wanting to marry at all costs. All men are not commitment phobic, logical, and out of tune with his emotions. It makes me feel like he doesn't really see me when he's putting me in some kind of a box or a category and it also makes me wonder if he knows himself well. Occasional statements as we talk about the differences between the sexes is one thing - but blanket - iron-clad statements are just plain annoying to me.



ChiefWannahakaloogie -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/22/2008 7:06:31 PM)

skinny guys. dishonest guys. disrespectful guys. guys who arent fun and crazy, or who are afraid to be fun and crazy.

and uhm idk a few others i suppose.



rgod -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/22/2008 8:41:45 PM)

I forgot - my number one pet peeve -- WANDERING EYES!!!! (Yuck!!!!)



allisonbrett -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/26/2008 5:11:12 PM)

Lots of great turn offs everyone! I agree with my fellow ladies on so many of these.

I'd like to add vulgar or crude comments, jokes, etc. I can't stand anyone that focuses on bodily functions, sexual or intimate conversations that should be kept private and certainly not in such coarse language. Romance is not being crude, vulgar and lacking in tack or decorum. I may be oversensitive but talking dirty to me is a MAJOR TURNOFF! [:@]



Ps103 -> RE: What turns you off in a partner or mate (8/27/2008 11:31:16 AM)

This is really too similar to THIS and other threads here.

Please continue in the linked thread.

Thanks!



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