You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Are They Saved?

You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Are They Saved? (Full Version)

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gaylel1 -> You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Are They Saved? (8/12/2008 11:07:19 AM)
Ok, there are a lot of people say that you can find your future mate anywhere, even at the "Grocery Store." But when we find those mate in those places other than the church, how do we know if these people are Christians we meet in places other than the four walls of the church? See, this is what I'm wary of this theory because when they say they are Christians, sometimes they are not "at church" nor they are "serving" nor they are "under a pastor," which I feel I have to make sure a person in a place where they are fed God's word, not because they say a "Christian," which I also believe they word can be many things to many people. I know a lot of you may have different opinions, so have at it.

mutinywxgirl -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 11:13:21 AM)
Just meeting someone at church doesn't mean they are a Christian!

iwillfearnoevil -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 11:16:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gaylel1 But when we find those mate in those places other than the church, how do we know if these people are Christians we meet in places other than the four walls of the church? because we get to know them. if someone professes their faith in Jesus as their Savior, that would be plenty enough for me for an initial meet & greet or date. i feel i don't need to know their whole life story up front [altho it may happen that way]. spending time with them should tell a lot about one's character. i think if feelings are mutual then we'd start meeting each others friends and visit each other's churches. i think talking to their pastors and people they serve in the ministry with would help one judge. i don't think it's unique to grocery store. i've visited some really big churches before and can imagine not knowing all potentials really well at first. same for even Bible College - what assumptions can you make. to me, the dating / courtship process is about figuring this stuff out, not pre-first date

gaylel1 -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 11:29:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl Just meeting someone at church doesn't mean they are a Christian! True, but that also goes both ways too. And the reason why I say that is because people can say they are believers, but people who say they are a christian are not members of any church or any church body where they can get fed and be accountable. I agree about the idea about visiting each other's churches, I Fear No Evil, because it would give a better judgment of one charater as well as how this indivisual treats others, especially males treating females and being a witness to his faith.

John_O -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 11:33:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gaylel1 Ok, there are a lot of people say that you can find your future mate anywhere, even at the "Grocery Store." But when we find those mate in those places other than the church, how do we know if these people are Christians we meet in places other than the four walls of the church? See, this is what I'm wary of this theory because when they say they are Christians, sometimes they are not "at church" nor they are "serving" nor they are "under a pastor," which I feel I have to make sure a person in a place where they are fed God's word, not because they say a "Christian," which I also believe they word can be many things to many people. I know a lot of you may have different opinions, so have at it. I've met lots of people at church who weren't Christians. Going to church makes you a Christian about as much as sleeping in a garage makes you an automobile. Meeting people is not an all or nothing commitment on the first date. "Wow! I met someone at the grocery store! We'll be married tomorrow" Meeting someone is a process. "Wow! I met someone at the grocery store! If everything checks out over the next several months, If I find no red flag issues (Patterns of unrepentant sin etc), If we like each others families, If all their references check out, and if we decide we can love each other for the rest of our lives, we'll be arried sometime next year or so." It takes time to get to know anyone no matter where you meet them. To be truthful, I've never met anyone acceptable to date at church.* (All the good ones must be hiding from me!) So you've got to go where the people are. (*Please note that I've not been looking long and have only really "looked" in three churches) Let's say I meet someone at the grocery store who is nominally Christian. If she's not a Christian by the second date or so the Spirit of God will tell me "Hey, she's not a Christian" and I'll know we don't fit. What did I lose? I had a pleasant time, ate some good food, got out of the house for a bit, and hopefully influenced her in the right direction. Looks like a win-win situation (as long as I listen to the Spirit).

iwillfearnoevil -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 11:33:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gaylel1 And the reason why I say that is because people can say they are believers, but people who say they are a christian are not members of any church or any church body where they can get fed and be accountable. i agree, this would be a big red flag for me depending on circumstances ...

John_O -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 11:35:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gaylel1 And the reason why I say that is because people can say they are believers, but people who say they are a christian are not members of any church or any church body where they can get fed and be accountable. Technically I'm not a member of any church. I do attend three times a week but I'm not on the roll.

joy2give2u -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 11:38:36 AM)
quote: Ok, there are a lot of people say that you can find your future mate anywhere, even at the "Grocery Store." But when we find those mate in those places other than the church, how do we know if these people are Christians we meet in places other than the four walls of the church? I may be wrong but I don't think anyone is advocating going to a grocery store, checking out the men/women, choosing a husband/wife, paying the clerk(for groceries of course not for the man) and then walking next door to the justice of peace to get married. We don't just "meet" our future husband or wife, we grow in relationship with them. As the relationship grows you will gain greater discernment as well as be able to see the fruit of their relationship with the Lord. quote: Just meeting someone at church doesn't mean they are a Christian! And just because someone is Christian doesn't men you are spiritually compatible. I know some wonderful men, who love God with all their hearts, whom I would not marry. I know men who's walk with the Lord produces much fruit. I admire, trust and seek the wisdom of these men but I would not marry them. I don't go to the grocery store looking for men but I do go with the Lord and sometimes we, he and I,meet men there.....[:D][:D]

joy2give2u -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 11:42:26 AM)
quote: Meeting people is not an all or nothing commitment on the first date. "Wow! I met someone at the grocery store! We'll be married tomorrow" Meeting someone is a process. Man will you stop.........here I am busy working and trying to write a post.........I finally finish and click "OK" come back to the thread to reread what I write and find out what else has been written and I read your post......... You always have to have the first word don't you?.............those were my thoughts....... And did you have to say it so much better then me? Well at least I am getting the last word in it........ Meeting someone is a process we walk through not alone but with the Lord by our side and he should play a major role in how we proceed.

gaylel1 -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 12:08:01 PM)
Yes, meeting someone in a process, and I agree in what all of you are saying, but as a Christian you have to be spirtually compatable--See 2nd Cor 6:14. Yes, some Christians are not spirtually compatable because they are not in his word on a daily basis nor they do not attend church where they can be fed or have a prayer life. To me, that's important because how can if a relationship progresses, especially for a man and after you marry, how can you lead your family spiritually?

John_O -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 12:34:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: joy2give2u Well at least I am getting the last word in it........ I wouldn't bet on it.[:D] quote: Meeting someone is a process we walk through not alone but with the Lord by our side and he should play a major role in how we proceed. This is exactly true!

joy2give2u -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 12:38:13 PM)
quote: This is exactly true! Of course it is.........Would I speak it if it wasn't? quote: but as a Christian you have to be spirtually compatable I agree as I stated in my earlier post.........and compatibility comes with familiarity.

John_O -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 12:45:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: joy2give2u quote: This is exactly true! Of course it is.........Would I speak it if it wasn't? everyone speaks mistruths sometimes. quote: quote: but as a Christian you have to be spirtually compatable I agree as I stated in my earlier post.........and compatibility comes with familiarity. and to build familiarity you need to at least get out of the produce aisle before you accept or reject someone.[:D][:D]

joy2give2u -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 1:00:57 PM)
quote: everyone speaks mistruths sometimes. I like your choice of word here.........very true.....mistruth = a truth that was missed........one we did not even realize because we were busy partnering with satan's lie........not to be confused with an untruth which would mean the person knew the truth yet chose to speak the opposite........ Yes I am quite aware I have spoken, thought, and believed mistruths......... Interesting how many untruths are revealed when we acknowledge we are missing the truth and ask God to reveal it to us.........[:D][:D] quote: and to build familiarity you need to at least get out of the produce aisle before you accept or reject someone [sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif][sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif]Did I read this right? Don't you need to add a disclaimer? Gayle the thing God has shown me the last few months is as long as I am walking towards him, growing in my relationship with him, and seeking to come along side him in what he is doing God will bring him/her along side me as well. Think of a triangle..........you start at point a, he starts at point b with both of you walking towards point c.........you either grow closer together or the relationship loses it shape/form .......during this walk, this line you are drawing towards the Lord, does it really matter if you both happen to be at a grocery store or church at the same time?

gaylel1 -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 2:12:22 PM)
quote: Think of a triangle..........you start at point a, he starts at point b with both of you walking towards point c.........you either grow closer together or the relationship loses it shape/form .......during this walk, this line you are drawing towards the Lord, does it really matter if you both happen to be at a grocery store or church at the same time? But after that intitial meeting, you have to see how well he/she treats her parents, and treats others, because it is not only compablity. Some people who are not compatable on other things can also be compatable spirtually and can have successful relationships. I've seen it happen.

joy2give2u -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 2:14:59 PM)
quote: Some people who are not compatable on other things can also be compatable spirtually and can have successful relationships. I guess it is how you define compatible. I don't consider little differences such as he likes baseball and I like football big deals..........Maybe a better way to state it is that we must be compatible in our priorities which would include the relationship we have with our family,church and friends.....

John_O -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 2:36:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gaylel1 quote: Think of a triangle..........you start at point a, he starts at point b with both of you walking towards point c.........you either grow closer together or the relationship loses it shape/form .......during this walk, this line you are drawing towards the Lord, does it really matter if you both happen to be at a grocery store or church at the same time? But after that intitial meeting, you have to see how well he/she treats her parents, and treats others, because it is not only compablity. Some people who are not compatable on other things can also be compatable spirtually and can have successful relationships. I've seen it happen. This is true. Which is why we CAN meet people wherever we happen to be. (I'll be in the produce aisle if anyone's looking for me)

offtheisland -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 3:03:55 PM)
It's very difficult to find someone, PERIOD. And, for that person to be a true bonafide Christian, that is rare. I have not found the ideal man in my church because the ideal ones are happily married. When the ideal one becomes a widower there's a swarm of women after him. The widows/widowers that have been happily married are the finest catch.

gaylel1 -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 4:08:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: offtheisland It's very difficult to find someone, PERIOD. And, for that person to be a true bonafide Christian, that is rare. I have not found the ideal man in my church because the ideal ones are happily married. When the ideal one becomes a widower there's a swarm of women after him. The widows/widowers that have been happily married are the finest catch. When you say the ideal man, what is meant by it? Is it because he has to be perfect because people do have flaws--and just about everyone does have those rough edges that they have to work on. I disagree about the widows/widowers because there are some, like myself who is still finding someone but not having any luck because people do not want to be saddled by the past or because you were married before, people do not want to deal with you. I was dating one guy before and thought he was "the one" but he prefered someone who is never married.

John_O -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Is They Saved? (8/12/2008 4:15:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: offtheisland The widows/widowers that have been happily married are the finest catch. I'd have to agree with that

willfs -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Are They Saved? (8/12/2008 4:18:02 PM)
I agree with this "theory" as long as your thinking is based in reality. Let me explain by telling you my story. I have gone up and introduced myself to a woman in the grocery store. After getting to talk to her she wanted to go out on a date. I decided against it because she just didn't seem to be a Christian. If I kept meeting woman at the grocery store then I would eventually come across a Christian whose values are similiar to mine. Who knows how much I would have to do that. Even the probabilities are only probabilities and theory doesn't always mirror actual results. But I did come to a conclusion. When it comes to girls I meet around town (grocery store or whatever) the only thing I can be sure of is that they are physically attractive to me and I am not guaranteed anything else. Does this mean I will never meet a goldly single girl out of my own church building? Nope. Does this mean that every girl inside my church's building is a Christian? Nope. One merly needs to wiegh out the facts. When approaching anyone, each individual has to decide if its worth the trouble and worth the risk. I would prefer to meet her as a friend and not have to approach her. That would most likely happen at church although it could happen at work or some other similiar place. It might be fun to meet her by approaching her and we might have a "good story" but approaching strangers can be a difficult situation to manuever with unknown results. To the "grocery store approach's" credit, when you just arn't finding anyone at church, its normal to look elsewhere. I had a friend who kept saying, "God's gonna put her right in my lap". He never got to know anyone outside of church, which he was a staff member of. He ended up marrying a girl ten years his younger who was a teen in the church. So alittle prowling can be wise.

broyce1981 -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Are They Saved? (8/13/2008 8:15:31 AM)
This is precisely why I've never tried to get a date in the grocery store! It may be different in some places but I live in an area where very few people even attend church. So the chances that a person I meet in the grocery store is saved is slim. Besides, there's plenty of other ways to meet people where there's a much better chance that they are truly a Christian.

offtheisland -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Are They Saved? (8/13/2008 9:07:18 AM)
quote: When you say the ideal man, what is meant by it? Is it because he has to be perfect because people do have flaws--and just about everyone does have those rough edges that they have to work on. My ideal man is one who I am attracted to, and I have different quailities that I am looking for in a man. He is not perfect, in the world's sense; just right for me. Those rough edges, baggage, etc. have to be work in progress. Are they managable enough that I can tolerate and love him through it?

ladioffaith -> RE: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Are They Saved? (8/13/2008 10:15:18 AM)
quote: You Can Find Him/Her in The Grocery Store, But Are They Saved? I don't know. Go out with him once or (GASP!) have an actual conversation with him and find out! If your heart gets involved before you find out that much basic information, it's your own fault.

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