Whats wrong with being single? (Full Version)

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onthewayray -> Whats wrong with being single? (8/3/2008 10:01:14 PM)

How many of you have been ask "Why are you still single?" I get this askeed a lot. My sisters friends ask her when they find out that I am over 40 and single if I am gay or what? Wats up with that?

I tell people that God is still working on my wife making sure she is ready for me.....
What do you tell people?



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/3/2008 10:02:47 PM)

I just tell people that marriage has never been a priority for me - so I've not made an effort to meet anyone.

They don't understand, but that's their problem, not mine.



humbleinspirit -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/3/2008 10:34:42 PM)

I've been asked that sometimes, and even started a thread on it a while ago too. I just let people know that I am not actively looking and somehow that satifies some people. I think that I have recently changed my mind on this though.



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/3/2008 10:37:41 PM)

Changed your mind in what respect?



captainfraulein -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/3/2008 11:07:18 PM)

My mother had tears for me when I gently gave her the "talk"...I feel God has me for somebody to marry someday but at my age and being a woman (40 years old), I don't think kids are in the cards for me. And I also don't feel the burning desire to have kidlets that my other friends/family have had. I have had an enjoyable time being an auntie to children all over the place. My mom was very upset. I asked her why and she responded she felt "I am missing out but I have my faith to make me happy".

I came to terms with that not too much time ago...that my mother was driving me in my heart and mind about this...that I needed to let it go and just live with what God intends for me.

I then wrote an article for my church newsletter about singleness, my own journey, being published in Sept.'s edition. Marriage does not cure loneliness. Only God can satisfy your soul hunger. I did not want to be so open about my struggle with singleness and breakthru however I felt God tapping me on the shoulder so I wrote it. My editor, Pastor intern guy, was happy about that "excellent! we wanted to incude an article for singles" or something to that effect. I am nervous about the article coming out but it was kind of healing to write about my struggle for those closet to me in church.

I get asked a lot if I have a boyfriend ... husband (like at my new job)...my step cousins in Washington asked me a lot when I am out there...people are always asking me if they don't see me awhile from church if "I have a man in my life" and I say "only Jesus Christ!" I really DON'T CARE what their reaction is much anymore..because I have come to a place of peace about it in my own life. People can tell and it puzzles them. I get quizzed a little and I just say "I scare men off with my strong domineering personality" which makes them chuckle ...then get a weird look and back off a little uncomfortable.

My mom offered "to pay for me to go on eharmony" but I shut down recently all my online dating profiles and I am enjoying the singleness. I don't want to hurry God. I want to wait on His time. My friend wants to put out a profile for me and keeps threatening to do it. you just got to keep clutching on to God and letting Him refine you. And try NOT to care what others think!

The world is a temporary place on the way to the real one. :)



humbleinspirit -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/3/2008 11:17:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl

Changed your mind in what respect?


In respect that I am considering dating again.



song -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/4/2008 2:02:06 AM)

I tell them that once you get married you can never be single again! So I'm enjoying myself for a while. [:)]

I'm pretty young though, so most people just ask why I don't have a boyfriend or someone I'm interested in.



rgod -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/4/2008 7:49:36 AM)

I don't get asked this a whole lot. I'm not sure why. People often guess that I'm younger than I actually am (I'm 36 but people generally think I'm about 27 or 28), and with people getting married a bit older these days, random people don't often think to ask me about being married. Family and friends sometimes ask me if I've found someone. They know that I would like to meet someone and be married - but I'm not wasting a lot of time pining about it because after all, I have one life to live and I don't want to waste time. People who aren't close to me think that I'm not interested in getting married. I'm thinking it is because I'm busy living my life and appear to be very content.



offtheisland -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/4/2008 8:34:15 AM)

My pastor jokingly says that I need to get married in 12 months. I tell him that it will take a miracle, so he should start fasting and praying with me. Haha! My cousin offered to pay my traveling expenses to join them at her husband's family reunion in Oregon so that she could introduce me to her husband's nephews who are eligible. Wuz up wit' dat?

They all mean well and I find it amusing. They want all their loved ones happy and will do and say what they think will remedy the situations we are in.



beachcooky -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/4/2008 7:00:25 PM)

quote:

How many of you have been ask "Why are you still single?"


I've gotten asked that a LOT. It's normally by guys, haha. But I always tell them because I'm not ready. I don't believe that I should date right now. I just want to focus on God as of right now.



wfisaac -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/4/2008 7:16:32 PM)

quote:

How many of you have been ask "Why are you still single?"


I haven't ever had anyone come outright and ask me this, but my youngest sister used to have this sense of pity for me. After a couple of really bad experiences that she's had she has come to me and told me she realizes there's nothing to pity in my waiting on God in this area because she learned from experience what it's like to get into a bad marriage.

And I think most places I go like a new job they always seem to just assume I'm married but when they find out I'm not they don't seem too intrigued by it.



BugLady -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/4/2008 7:35:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl

I just tell people that marriage has never been a priority for me - so I've not made an effort to meet anyone.

They don't understand, but that's their problem, not mine.


Yeah, marriage has definitely not been on my list of priorities either. [sm=shakinghead.gif] But I believe if God wants me married, it'll happen. If not it won't. God knows, and I'm good with that. One thing I do know, if it is part of the plan, He'll send someone who knows what the heck I've been talkin' about. That's for sure.

I don't much care about the opinions of people who look at me funny because I'm not married. If they'd been where I've been they wouldn't be married either.

ps - there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single. [;)]



thedivabrat -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/4/2008 8:57:39 PM)

People no longer ask me that--now they ask "Why have you never married". (I am old you know [sm=crazy.gif]and I guess they think it's to late to catch that train.[sm=silly.gif]) I really don't have an answer --I just never married! I have seriously considered it a couple of times but it/he/me just didn't seem right. Anyway, I think both questions are kind of rude.



Onecontent -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/4/2008 9:07:33 PM)

My driving instructor asked me tonight why I was not married or living with a boyfriend. She feels that because I am young I should be with a man. I'm 42!

I have nothing against other people getting married but no one has explained to me why I "should" be in a relationship or why I "need" a man. I did not die for the lack of a man in the past so how great can this need be?

I like being independent and am learning to drive so I may increase my independence. I usually feel quite at ease being alone. I can serve God in ways a married person cannot.

Why seek seek marriage because I "should"?



beachcooky -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/4/2008 11:00:37 PM)

quote:

People no longer ask me that--now they ask "Why have you never married". (I am old you know and I guess they think it's to late to catch that train. )


Yeah, last time I checked, there wasn't a age limit on when you get married.



GrowinBaptist -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/5/2008 1:57:40 PM)

I've had people determined to "fix me up," people who tell me "you're just letting life pass you by," etc. etc. This is a world where single people are considered strange creatures, especially those who are honestly at peace with it. The world can't comprehend how someone can be happy being alone...but those who believe in the Lord can. And even sometimes other believers give you a hard time!! But there is nothing wrong with being single...we have at our disposal a great amount of time to get right with the Lord ourselves and spend our time serving Him that we won't have when/if we get married.


One thing...the Lord is working on you as well, not just your future wife. It's a two-way street, even before you actually meet that special someone. Don't ever assume that you have it all together spiritually yourself because you don't. We never do. As my pastor says, either you are in the middle of a trial, coming out of one, or you're about to go into one. We are constantly being worked on. I'm not saying that you are necessarily thinking this way, onthewayray, but if you are, then the Lord will let you know quickly of areas in which YOU need work, not just her.



Bridgitt -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/5/2008 2:08:09 PM)

When people ask me when I will remarry I tell them that it's up to God to introduce me to the elect He has chosen for me.



beachcooky -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/5/2008 8:07:53 PM)

quote:

I've had people determined to "fix me up," people who tell me "you're just letting life pass you by," etc. etc.


I have a friend and he tries hooking me up with all of his friends. Because he feels that I shouldn't be single. But the choice isn't up to him if I'm single or not, it's my decision. I mean, I appreciate that he cares, but I always tell him I don't want a boyfriend because I'm waiting for that one special guy that God has in store for me. And it irks me when Chris (friend) is always saying, "Well, how would you know?" And he's agnostic, so I don't think he knows why I wait. I wait because I believe that I need to get right with God all the way and deal with some of the unforgiveness that I have in my life first, and THEN date the guy that God has in store for me!



twinkly -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/5/2008 11:46:17 PM)

you are a pretty smart cookie miss beachcooky!

you remind me of my sister, who is also the same age as you.

it is great so see such young women with such good heads on their shoulders.

i checked out your myspace btw. i just did a page for my music. check it out in my sig line. maybe we could be myspace friends! although i am old, 37, so not as hip and cool as you and my sis are [;)]

i don't get the "why am i still single" stuff. i have been out of my marriage for three years now and did date one man for almost a year since then. i was hurt in my marriage and in that relationship with a supposedly christian man and i am still healing. i am in no rush for that nonsense again. i pray for the right man. i would like more kids and my sis teases me and says "then you better get moving"!
but good men are hard to find and right now i am not at all looking.

it would be nice to have a man in my life don't get me wrong. i long for a good family life. eh, when it happens it happens.



beachcooky -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/6/2008 8:19:38 AM)

quote:

although i am old, 37, so not as hip and cool as you and my sis are


That is DEFINITELY not old! And I'll add ya!



twinkly -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/6/2008 3:04:30 PM)

why thank you!
I don't feel old. Well, not all the time anyway LOL

my twins run me ragged sometimes though and then I am REALLY tired..



smilingcutie -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/6/2008 11:40:03 PM)

Nothing wrong with living the single life! I enjoy it :)

Of course, if anyone is interested, family and friends have recommended me the site LordsMessage. Maybe it can help for meeting new people?



beachcooky -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/7/2008 12:19:46 AM)

quote:

my twins run me ragged sometimes though and then I am REALLY tired..


Yikes. I work with children and there's twins there. They can be a big handful at times!



cammo2006 -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/7/2008 3:41:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: twinkly

why thank you!
I don't feel old. Well, not all the time anyway LOL

my twins run me ragged sometimes though and then I am REALLY tired..


Kids have a tendency to do that.

I don't have kids, but have noted this from observation.



twinkly -> RE: Whats wrong with being single? (8/7/2008 4:13:41 PM)

Yes, twins are a handful, but I love them to death. Being a single mom of twins is even more of an adventure. I have them most of the time since my exhusband's schedule is so erratic. But that is fine with me.

They are 11 now and getting that "attitude" thing going on. Oh ya, loads of fun LOL I totally remember being like that too! haha



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