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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/4/2008 12:06:35 PM
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coinpurse
Posts: 98
Joined: 5/10/2008
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Hi floydette!
Finding out the WHY is a brilliant idea.
quote:
ORIGINAL: floydette
Just came in to the thread. I plan to go back and get it all read.... I have pondered this (in my own life) and for me, it was really important to find out WHY I was messy. It depends on the WHY before you adjust the WHAT. If one person is an overwhelmed perfectionist and another is just really busy and another person just doesn't mind the mess - those are 3 different solutions.
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/4/2008 12:17:35 PM
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floydette
Posts: 1080
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Thanks! It helped me a great deal.
_____________________________
“The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.” Henri Bergson
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/4/2008 12:37:12 PM
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coinpurse
Posts: 98
Joined: 5/10/2008
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Here are some scriptures for the perfectionist! I got them from my small group, not sure which translation though...might want to look them up if interested.
Perfectionism: Trying to prove my worth by being perfect
Eccl. 11:4
> If you wait for perfect conditions, you'll never get
> anything done
> Ps. 119:96
> Nothing is perfect except (God's) Word
>
> Eccl. 7:20
> There is no one on earth who does what is right all the
> time and never makes a mistake
>
> ECCL 7:16
> Do not be excessively righteous and do not be overly
> wise. Why should you ruin yourself
>
> Prov. 17:9
> Love forgets mistakes; nagging about them parts the best of
> friends
>
> Galatians 2:3
> You began your life in Christ by the spirit. Now are you
> trying to make it complete by your own power? That is
> foolish...
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/4/2008 1:12:09 PM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 4976
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Formerly Jesus Land
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quote:
IF you started with a clean place, then maybe (for some people)....but that poster said that in that time eventually the place would GET clean. maintaining clean isn't as hard, so I agree there....but in actually getting it to the maintain stage, I don't think it is a realistic expectation
Oh, definitely there's no way anyone could catch up on only 15 minutes per day. Also, the single person who always picked up after themselves would have to have no pets or hobbies (unless it was at another building, such as going to the gym) and they shouldn't ever, ever plant a garden or can anything! It would also be best if they ate out a lot.
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<--Plantation house in Louisiana
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/4/2008 5:30:53 PM
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agapetos
Posts: 5400
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2
quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
I think I could keep up with about fifteen minutes a day cleaning if I were single and if I picked up after myself. 
IF you started with a clean place, then maybe (for some people)....but that poster said that in that time eventually the place would GET clean. maintaining clean isn't as hard, so I agree there....but in actually getting it to the maintain stage, I don't think it is a realistic expectation.
I agree totally, that 15 mins a day to maintain a clean home would do many people.
It's getting it to that stage though!
I watch 'How Clean Is Your Home' and they clean the house from top to bottom and frequently say that it's taken 100 hours to get it to that stage.
My bathroom is the cleanest and most organised room in the house. I make sure that if everything else goes to pot, that stays looking good. I am working on the kitchen now, which is taking time, but I'm getting there. Then I'll move on to the next room and so on. I can't get up at whatever time in the morning and work through though but I try and do a little bit every day ~ even if it's to not create any more disorder!
quote:
The only thing is because of such things as work, etc. I tend to be too tired to want to clean anything. Then on the weekends I just want to relax instead! I've realised that thinking about doing something is one of the worst things. There's a total lack of motivation to do it. But, if I do it, and can see what I've done, there's a certain amount of pride in having done it and it encourages me to do more. Yes, it's good to relax and enjoy yourself at w/ends, but even if you did all the cleaning then, it's probably only going to be a couple of hours ~ it's not like it's going to take all w/end.
Starting off and getting into a routine is the worst part though.
_____________________________
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not using them in fruit salads!
My blog
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/4/2008 7:44:07 PM
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creationtalk
Posts: 701
Joined: 6/9/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: floydette
Just came in to the thread. I plan to go back and get it all read.... I have pondered this (in my own life) and for me, it was really important to find out WHY I was messy. It depends on the WHY before you adjust the WHAT. If one person is an overwhelmed perfectionist and another is just really busy and another person just doesn't mind the mess - those are 3 different solutions.
Yes, that is completely true. Although, at times, knowing the WHY and the HOW to solving a "messy" problem still does not get the problem solved. I know WHY I'm overwhelmed (too much stuff, not enough time). I know HOW to solve it (organize, cut back and put away). However, I lack both the time to deal with everything and places to put things away. I'm continually working at it, but somethings I cannot do myself. I have given away or thrown away a great deal in the past few months...but I cannot convince my son to do the same.
I had a week where I was going to organize things...my son would be with his father and I would be working nights so I would have lots of time to sort...then just before my son left, I found the A/C drain had gotten clogged and two rooms (my office and son's bedroom) were flooded. Both carpets and some of the other items in the rooms and thier closets were ruined. So instead of spending my week cleaning/organizing, I spent the week cleaning out my office, repainting the walls (needed done, all the stuff (except my desk) and the flooring were out....) then laying tile in the rooms. I'm still working on finishing the room 2 weeks later. Haven't even started on my son's room, except getting rid of soaked carpet and other ruined items. This is how my life goes. I can't get anything done, because there is always some fire I need to put out somewhere.
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/4/2008 8:00:20 PM
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floydette
Posts: 1080
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: creationtalk
quote:
ORIGINAL: floydette
Just came in to the thread. I plan to go back and get it all read.... I have pondered this (in my own life) and for me, it was really important to find out WHY I was messy. It depends on the WHY before you adjust the WHAT. If one person is an overwhelmed perfectionist and another is just really busy and another person just doesn't mind the mess - those are 3 different solutions.
Yes, that is completely true. Although, at times, knowing the WHY and the HOW to solving a "messy" problem still does not get the problem solved. I know WHY I'm overwhelmed (too much stuff, not enough time). I know HOW to solve it (organize, cut back and put away). However, I lack both the time to deal with everything and places to put things away. I'm continually working at it, but somethings I cannot do myself. I have given away or thrown away a great deal in the past few months...but I cannot convince my son to do the same.
I had a week where I was going to organize things...my son would be with his father and I would be working nights so I would have lots of time to sort...then just before my son left, I found the A/C drain had gotten clogged and two rooms (my office and son's bedroom) were flooded. Both carpets and some of the other items in the rooms and thier closets were ruined. So instead of spending my week cleaning/organizing, I spent the week cleaning out my office, repainting the walls (needed done, all the stuff (except my desk) and the flooring were out....) then laying tile in the rooms. I'm still working on finishing the room 2 weeks later. Haven't even started on my son's room, except getting rid of soaked carpet and other ruined items. This is how my life goes. I can't get anything done, because there is always some fire I need to put out somewhere.
Creation,
Complete drag about your flooding. uggg. That can be so frustrating.
For me, it was going alittle deeper than "too much stuff, not enough time". It was the process of looking at my motivations. What was I gaining by keeping things "messy?" Another question may be, why is it that there is so much stuff? Is there an addiction to shopping? Am I filling a need? Why am I settling for a messy house if I want an organized one? Why do I not take time to clean to have the results that I want? All of those things are the kind of questions I am talking about.
_____________________________
“The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.” Henri Bergson
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/5/2008 4:35:17 AM
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RyansWife
Posts: 23
Joined: 3/6/2008
Status: offline
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Yes... i struggle with this too. I'm lazy.
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/5/2008 1:34:41 PM
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lexie
Posts: 3047
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
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I used to be extremely messy, then I married and had a baby. Then I became clean, and everyone else became messy!!!!
It took many different things to get me to my cleanliness now. I tried flylady after it was recommended....that lasted a week. I tried making my own schedule (kitchen Mon, bathroom Tues, etc.) That lasted about two weeks. I tried lists of things to do everyday, that lasted...hmm...about a day.
I found that once I gave the entire house a thorough cleaning (which took about two weeks) and I purged a whole lot of stuff, keeping the place clean was easy.
I take post-it notes and I make a list of things that need to be done around the house. Once a post-it note is full, I stop the list and start working. Once the whole thing is done I fill a new post it note. Sounds like a silly system but it really works for me.
Also, going to the dollar store and buying a whole bunch of plastic bins has been the best thing for me. Now everything has it's place and there is no reason for anything to be lying out. It makes tidying up much easier (and makes it easier to get my 20 month old involved in cleaning.)
_____________________________
I want to be more than an ordinary servant.
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/5/2008 8:29:09 PM
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coinpurse
Posts: 98
Joined: 5/10/2008
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Nice!
I'm learning to find a permanent space for everything that I own..when Im looking for a certain pair of earrings, I shouldn't have to look in the car:) in the bathroom cabinets, on the desk, behind the tv...you get my point!!!
My Mary-Kay consultant gave me a free gift, which I use to organize all jewelery. It almost looks like one of those plastic shoe racks (but smaller and elegant) and you can hang it behind the door or almost anywhere...and has so many pockets!
The car issue:
Now I take 2 pices of trash or any two items with me EVERY TIME I exit the car. Believe me, there is ALWAYS 2 things I can take out of the car cause I go in there with at least 2 every time AND pick up more along my drive!
....
Im actually MUCH better w/my car ever since I got into a car accident in another state and the car was totaled...I had pounds of trash and bags from a move that happened 1 year prior...do you know what work I had to go through...I could not leave the stuff in the car as it was totaled!!!! and in another state! Lesson learned: KEEP THE CAR CLEAN, IF YOU HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE, YOU DONT NEED TO ALSO LIVE IN YOUR CAR!!!
I had to take the bus with one bag and the other bag I left it with someone...
I still have my rollerblades, yoga mat, a sweater, a book and a few things that I have to keep in there though:) Never know when you might want to get out the car to rollerblade or read a book????? LOL.
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/5/2008 8:40:43 PM
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coinpurse
Posts: 98
Joined: 5/10/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
Now everything has it's place and there is no reason for anything to be lying out.
Lexie,
Amen to that!
I'm on the week one program from Messies Anonymous and its working great!
http://www.messies.com/get_started/six_week_program/1/
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/9/2008 10:35:02 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 18135
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2
quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
quote:
ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2
quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
I am told that if I just put in 15 minutes a day cleaning that eventually I would have a spotless house! The only thing is because of such things as work, etc. I tend to be too tired to want to clean anything. Then on the weekends I just want to relax instead! 
LOL...I wish it worked that way!!! We do about 30 minutes in the morning, 15 after lunch, 15 after nap (before hubby comes home) and 15 at night before bed. Those are just to maintain some order throughout the week since we are home all (most) of the time. Then like I said, once a week it is a few hours worth of cleaning. Then also saturday mornings we tag team it and do more deep cleaning things that I don't get to during my weekly cleaning alone.
Yes PC, thats understandable because you have little ones around. I do not have an excuse, I'm single instead!
Yes, but even with just one person I don't see how just 15 minutes of work a day would produce a clean and organized house. My mom lives alone in a small duplex, and is pretty much gone to work or church except when she is sleeping (and she is one of those people that walks into a room and things seem to jump back into place for her) yet she has to spend a lot more then just 15 minutes a day to keep things neat and clean.
The reality is, no matter how many people live there, 15 minutes a day is not a reasonable time for such expectations. I think that is where so many people go wrong....their expectations don't line up with the reality of what it takes.
Perhaps it is both cleaning and maintaining also?
quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
I think I could keep up with about fifteen minutes a day cleaning if I were single and if I picked up after myself.
Yeah, what Lisa said.
quote:
ORIGINAL: agapetos
quote:
ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2
quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
I think I could keep up with about fifteen minutes a day cleaning if I were single and if I picked up after myself.
IF you started with a clean place, then maybe (for some people)....but that poster said that in that time eventually the place would GET clean. maintaining clean isn't as hard, so I agree there....but in actually getting it to the maintain stage, I don't think it is a realistic expectation.
I agree totally, that 15 mins a day to maintain a clean home would do many people.
It's getting it to that stage though!
I watch 'How Clean Is Your Home' and they clean the house from top to bottom and frequently say that it's taken 100 hours to get it to that stage.
My bathroom is the cleanest and most organised room in the house. I make sure that if everything else goes to pot, that stays looking good. I am working on the kitchen now, which is taking time, but I'm getting there. Then I'll move on to the next room and so on. I can't get up at whatever time in the morning and work through though but I try and do a little bit every day ~ even if it's to not create any more disorder!
quote:
The only thing is because of such things as work, etc. I tend to be too tired to want to clean anything. Then on the weekends I just want to relax instead! I've realised that thinking about doing something is one of the worst things. There's a total lack of motivation to do it. But, if I do it, and can see what I've done, there's a certain amount of pride in having done it and it encourages me to do more. Yes, it's good to relax and enjoy yourself at w/ends, but even if you did all the cleaning then, it's probably only going to be a couple of hours ~ it's not like it's going to take all w/end.
Starting off and getting into a routine is the worst part though.
Now I have watched that show too, and makes me wonder about me sometimes. 
As far as the bathroom, mine is much cleaner than it used to be.
_____________________________
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/10/2008 5:26:52 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 18135
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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Now Aga, I am sure if I had a developed routine that things would go much better for me aslo.
And I deal with where do I put this and that as well.
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/10/2008 9:42:04 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 18135
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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Among other things work, depression, etc.
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/11/2008 11:16:06 AM
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agapetos
Posts: 5400
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
Status: offline
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Something that I've learnt over the past few years is that doing even just a little can help raise mood. So yes, you have depression (just as I have bipolar) and it's hard to get motivated, but that doesn't mean it's impossible.
You've said that work is preventing you from getting into a routine. Well, it's not really, it's just something that is there. Work stops the majority of people from having fun!
I can understand that you feel that to deal with everything all you're going to be doing is work and cleaning, but that's not so. You don't have to start doing everything at once.
Pick a room and, if necessary, one part of it and start to sort it. If it was your bathroom, maybes get into the habit of cleaning the sink and changing your hand towel every week. Do it in steps.
Yes, it's going to take a while to work through your house in steps, but better it taking a while than not doing anything about it at all.
I have charts all over the house with the jobs that I need to do in each room and how often. When I have done something, I tick them off so I know when I last did them. I don't use them as often as I should, it's something I'm still getting into the habit of using though.
But there is a 'feel good' factor about being able to tick something off, as there is about actually doing something.
Last thing at night, I also plan 3 jobs that I need to do the next day, be it laundry or dusting or cleaning the sink. I plan it so that I'm not doing 3 time-consuming jobs each day.
Again, it's something that I'm still trying to get into the routine of doing, but I find when I do it, I'm far more motivated to do more.
_____________________________
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not using them in fruit salads!
My blog
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/11/2008 12:16:15 PM
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agapetos
Posts: 5400
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
Status: offline
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^ That may sound a harsh post, but it wasn't intended that way.
I wish that someone would have said to me some of the things that I've posted in it, when I wasn't particularly stable mentally.
It took me a long time to find someone (actually in forums) who gave me straightforward and easy steps towards cleaning my home.
We all know that we should be keeping our homes clean, but it's sometimes very hard to do that when we are very badly behind and aren't sure really where to start ~ and it seems that all most people will tell us is what we already know, we have to clean our homes!
_____________________________
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not using them in fruit salads!
My blog
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/11/2008 5:56:06 PM
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lindakaye
Posts: 22
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline
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I surgery 2 months ago , total hip replacement and was not able to do much to my house even before that. I decided last week to do one major thing a day, like cleaning out the fridge, cleaning my stove, cleaning out drawers, along with my everyday tasks. I figured that in 30 days I will have a lot accomplished. I feel better already. Today I cleaned my computer desk went through all my bills organized my paperwork and got my laundry done and screened in porch hosed down.
Yeah!!!! I'm pooped.
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/18/2008 1:42:18 PM
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faroukfarouk
Posts: 874
Joined: 4/16/2008
Status: offline
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coinpurse:
Well, some ppl seem to store them all in their ears...
quote:
ORIGINAL: coinpurse
Nice!
I'm learning to find a permanent space for everything that I own..when Im looking for a certain pair of earrings, I shouldn't have to look in the car:) in the bathroom cabinets, on the desk, behind the tv...you get my point!!!
_____________________________
Trust the Bible.
Trust the Lord.
Don't trust the appearance of things.
(I'm a guy. Some tattoo designs look nice, though...but I haven't worn my earrings lately. So, think the lady in the avatar is my sister?)
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/18/2008 6:59:20 PM
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agapetos
Posts: 5400
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
Status: offline
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LOL!
I was thinking about this thread this afternoon.
I wonder if we need to go into training to organise ourselves? An athlete doesn't start off breaking records and winning Olympic medals. They start off slowly and build up the amout of training that they do over time.
Should we be doing the same? Instead of expecting ourselves to do 8 hours organising/cleaning etc a day (even though we may need to be doing that much), maybe we should start with five minutes a day ~ or one task a day? Or a week if necessary.
I know that we can come on here and post and then say 'I didn't have time to do ___.' but if we spent just 5 minutes less in forums, would it really take away the fun we have here?
_____________________________
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not using them in fruit salads!
My blog
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RE: struggling with being messy??? - 8/23/2008 1:06:30 PM
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coinpurse
Posts: 98
Joined: 5/10/2008
Status: offline
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LOL @ faroukfarouk!
Agapetos,
Yes, training sounds good...I had to repeat week one from the Messies website 3 times so far...
My biggest challenge is giving myself enough time to get to places...if Im always in a hurry, I create a bigger mess:
*the dishes I cant clean cause I gotta' go!
*The things in the bathroom I didnt place back in the cabinet cause I gotta go!
*The clothes thats thrown on the chair cause I gotta go!
*The things left in the car cause oh, gotta go!
The problem is Im spending soooo much leisure time doing other silly things, Im not giving myself enough time for the necessary stuff.
IM STILL IN TRAINING:)
I have 2 hours before I leave the house to meet a friend...normally, Id spend 1.5 hours goofing off and the last minutes going nuts and leaving the house with clothes on the floor, cereal still in the bowl...Um, Im going to eat now to give me time to wash the bowl (and yesterdays dishes) and maybe even give myself time to wash the tub before I get out of it!
I hope you guys are making progress! Lets hang in there till we develop the better habits we desire!
quote:
ORIGINAL: agapetos
LOL!
I was thinking about this thread this afternoon.
I wonder if we need to go into training to organise ourselves? An athlete doesn't start off breaking records and winning Olympic medals. They start off slowly and build up the amout of training that they do over time.
Should we be doing the same? Instead of expecting ourselves to do 8 hours organising/cleaning etc a day (even though we may need to be doing that much), maybe we should start with five minutes a day ~ or one task a day? Or a week if necessary.
I know that we can come on here and post and then say 'I didn't have time to do ___.' but if we spent just 5 minutes less in forums, would it really take away the fun we have here?
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