Nursing a 16 month old at night (Full Version)

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Homegrownkids -> Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 9:05:39 AM)

With 5 children under my belt, this is the first one I have nursed this long. Since we moved to a new house when he was 8 months old, he has slept with us. He nurses at night at 2am, 4am, and after 4am it is about every hour until 7:30 or 8am. Lately, it has made me feel run down during the day... (at least I think this is what is causing it). I use to be able to sleep while nursing, but now I can't.
I enjoy nursing him but he seems to drink more at night than he does during th day. During the day, he uses me more like a "binky" and lately he's been extremely clingy about that. He likes the comfort, and then I don't get anything done! He has been getting his pointy teeth in and maybe that is one reason he is like this. It just seems like it has been a long couple of months of this. He has gone stretches of having more sleep at night, but has never slept the whole night through.

I don't know if I could handle stopping cold turkey. But, if that is what is suggested, I suppose I could try it. He cries so hard, as if he's been abandoned and then his little diaphram "hick ups" forever!

Has anyone else delt with this? Or have a created a little monster? I would love to have more sleep, especially when our homeschooling starts up again!



PrincessDonna -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 10:02:39 AM)

My second nursling was like this. She nursed quite a bit until she was 2 and didn't wean until she was 2.5. If you *want* to keep nursing, then certainly keep doing that. Some kids are very attached to nursing and are harder to wean or cut back than others. Sounds like he may be one of those kids.

If you are just looking to cut out some of the night time nursings, is your husband willing to deal with him during those times? Comfort, offer a bottle of water, etc? That's what we had to do a few months before the new baby (Levi) came along...all Hannah's night time needs were directed to Daddy. She did okay with it for the most part, and is hugely a Daddy's girl now. LOL



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 10:08:42 AM)

I weaned cold turkey one night when Nate was 19 months old out of frustration, and have always wished I had not done so. But I do feel your pain!

He sounds hungry to me. From what you said, he is really eating at the early morning feedings? Does he nurse right before bed?



PrincessDonna -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 10:12:09 AM)

What Jenny said reminded me of something...a friend of mine had a baby that age who was suddenly constantly waking. She started giving him a PB&J and then a bottle of water around 2 am every day and he would sleep the rest of the night. LOL (Yes, I know peanut butter is not recommended before 2, but if you have no allergy issues in your family, then use your own judgment.)



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 10:29:06 AM)

I can remember weeks of 2 a.m. PB & J sandwiches and glasses of milk when Brandon was two. He was just so hungry, he could not eat enough during the day! Plus, it actually became a very sweet time for him and his dad...who, I am thankful to say, made all those sandwiches!



zoebob -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 10:41:43 AM)

I would mke the sandwhich before bed and put it in a baggy so it was all ready to eat at 2 AM



Homegrownkids -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 11:08:53 AM)

I can't imagine waking up at 2am to fully awake him for peanut butter and jelly! I suppose I could try it. I just hope he doesn't want to stay awake, or just be a crank. It is funny that he has choosen to eat/drink more at night than during the day though. At night he does drink, but falls asleep and pulls away instantly when he is done. Unlike the day when he wants to latch on, doesn't drink much, but doesn't want off either. What a stinker:)



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 11:14:36 AM)

If it makes you feel better, this will probably not last long. From the comfort nursing he's doing during the daytime to the extra hunger he seems to be experiencing, I am betting there's a growth or developmental spurt happening. After that, he should settle back in.



macokjc -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 11:19:48 AM)

I have noticed that this is heavily a "demand fed" area, vs. scheduling, so I'm sure my answer will not be popular. However, it does sound like he enjoys using you as a pacifier. For some people, that is fine. It was not for me. My 4 children slept through the night between 6 and 10 weeks (unless they were sick) and they all weighed 18 pounds by the time they were 5 months old. With the scheduling, they learn to increase the amount they eat during the day. They learned to eat, not snack. They were still getting basically the same amount, just more at each sitting. My last two had no solids until about 11 months. Have you asked your doctor for suggestions?



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 11:21:50 AM)

quote:

However, it does sound like he enjoys using you as a pacifier.

I always figured that if a baby wanted comfort, it was because he needed it.



Sideways -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 11:40:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
quote:

However, it does sound like he enjoys using you as a pacifier.

I always figured that if a baby wanted comfort, it was because he needed it.


There are other ways to love and comfort a baby.[8|] If the mom doesn't want to nurse that much, then she should not, especially not at 16 months old. If she truely wishes extended to BF, especially at night, then that's her business, but it's certainly not a requirement at that age.

It does sound as if the OP would like to cut back. I like Donna's suggestion of having daddy take over nighttime comfort, or if dad won't, you may be in for a rough week or two. But for Pete's sake, a little scheduling of feedings, or offering an alternative to the breast is not going to hurt your child at this point. It kinda sounds like you need a break, especially with HSing four older kids.



Mrs.X -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 12:22:05 PM)

I second the idea of a protein packed snack. Cheese, yogurt, PB, eggs all have a good amount in them. This helped my little one to not nurse so long at night. Noises and stuff would wake him up, but he'd only nurse for 5 seconds just to get back to sleep. If your little one does very well with solids, you can actually just spoon feed him some PB in small bites instead of making the whole sandwich. Plus, the J has sugar in it which might keep him up.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 12:44:39 PM)

Well, I feel your pain. [&:]

I've tried with every baby to cut down night nursings after 12 months, every one of them screams their heads off, and I give up. So far they wean themselves totally around 18 months, so I just figure I can hold out 'til then.

If your desperate though, I agree with the suggestion to gradually let dad take over, offer water, or even a snack if the kid is wide awake and actually hungry.



stampinlady -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 12:54:20 PM)

Nursing babies still nurse at night by that age?????



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 12:55:47 PM)

Some do. Some don't.



Brandy -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 1:01:48 PM)

My Pediatrician made a great point to us at our 8 day old check up. She had nursed non stop the day before and into the night and I was exhausted.

He asked if she was nursing or just pacifying herself with me. I asked the difference and dang it, she was using me as a pacifier.. He asked if I wanted that to continue for the next year+ potentially. Nope. I want to feed her and soothe her yes but I do not want to be her physical pacifier. So we started that day with a pacifier for her age and it was great.

I'm not saying yous needs a pacifier per se but I would not want to be that role for him during the day and then him eating all night. I'd be way too touched out.

It does sound like he could use some protein based snack and that may hold him over longer.. but are there ways to get him to drink more during the day ? My little one, now just over 3 wks tanks up in the evenings and sleeps through the night except for 2 real fast feeds at 3am and 5 am after bed time at 10pm.

I absolutely love nursing my little one but I did not want to become her 24 hr passy!!!



Hislittleone -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 1:05:06 PM)

quote:

Has anyone else delt with this?


That's how my son is except he's 21 months old. Also, the times and amount of feedings vary from night to night and week to week. There are nights when he sleeps for 5 or 6 hours straight. But many nights he wakes for feedings at ~ the same times as your little one and always nurses more in the early mornings. During the day he seems to use me as a "binky" too. I must admit that there are days where I wish that he seemed more ready to wean. Hopefully soon he'll start showing signs that he's ready. So I can feel your pain.....[8D]

My little one seems to sleep much better when he is exhausted (i.e. played a lot outside and/or skipped his nap). Does your ds still take naps? If so, how many and at what times? Also, what is his usual bedtime?

Oh, I just thought of this... Sometimes my milk supply almost vanishes and when it's that low ds seems to start nursing much more often and doesn't sleep as soundly nor does he go to sleep as quickly (I nurse him to sleep every night). Could it be that your milk supply is low?



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 1:07:39 PM)

I guess I don't think God would have made babies that needed to suck even when they weren't hungry, and made breasts that could be sucked on, if that isn't how it's supposed to be.[&:] Especially since sucking makes the milk production go up, and babies do this in preparation for their increased needs. Actually, when left alone, the system works pretty well! Pop psychology, advice from docs who read lots of books but have never nursed a baby, baby contraptions and selfishness get in the way.



Sideways -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 1:08:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Brandy
I absolutely love nursing my little one but I did not want to become her 24 hr passy!!!


Me neither. The forum is the only place I've heard of children nursing in the middle of the night at that age.

I think there are a lot of options at this point, some may involve a few tears. But 16 month olds have very strong wills, and he's used to having you as his human pacifier, so he may not take to well to having his schedule changed around.

Remember, he doesn't need to nurse so much at night. He likes it and he's used to it, but it's not a requirement for his health and safety. I'm sure by now you've had to tell him "no" already. This may be one of those times. But you've gotten lots of good ideas here about alternatives to offer him, so it's not like you're leaving him alone in the dark to scream. You're just might have to be a little tough with him.



Sideways -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 1:11:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
Actually, when left alone, the system works pretty well! Pop psychology, advice from docs who read lots of books but have never nursed a baby, baby contraptions and selfishness get in the way.


This child is 16 months old. It is not selfish for a mother to want a few hours of sleep, or to start reducing the frequency of nursing.

I have no issues with women who choose to extend BF (I went to 15 months myself), but I do have issues with trying to lay guilt trips on those women who don't want a toddler attached to their breast all day and all night.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 1:21:01 PM)

I was not laying any guilt trips. I was stating it as I see it. 'I don't wanna be a human pacifier!' completely ignores the fact that sucking increases milk production. Fine, don't let your baby suck...but don't complain in two weeks when he's screaming hungry and 'gee, I just couldn't make enough milk so we had to start bottlefeeding.' People don't understand how it works, I think, or they don't care. I dunno. I just see a lot of advice that clearly does not have the truths of breastfeeding at the core.



Sideways -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 1:38:51 PM)

I didn't stick a breast in my son's mouth every time he cried, and he only weaned at 15 months with my encouragement. He's quite big for his age, too.

So, obviously, some of us can use alternative methods of soothing, and still nurse successfully. I even fed my 4.5 month old cereal when he was nursing every 90 minutes for 3 weeks and I was going nuts. Somehow I still kept my supply. [8|]

Some women will give up on BFing if they think that their breast is the only thing that can or should be used to calm a child. I certainly would've, and not because I'm selfish. It's just as bad to tell someone that they must be willing to nurse an older child through the night, as it is to tell someone that they cannot nurse a newborn any more frequently then every 3 hours.

There's two extremes here, and I don't think that refusing to be the human pacifier means you're automatically going to sabotage a BFing relationship. Besides, at 16 months it's not a big deal if supply goes down.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 1:47:19 PM)

Ruth, I was talking about the advice for an EIGHT DAY OLD baby, not the 16 month old.

However, the 16 month old is clearly hungry and needing to be fed. The advice to starve him at night to teach him a lesson--eat more during the day when you aren't hungry--is wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to begin.

And my main advice to the mother of the 16 month old is that this is going to pass, he obviously is needing something more rignt now. If it went on past when a normal spurt of development or growth would, then my advice might be different, but I have seen too many babies do these short-term things, and it would be a shame to wean out of frustration, which is what you would know happened to me if you read my first post. So I was speaking from experience.



Sideways -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 2:01:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
Ruth, I was talking about the advice for an EIGHT DAY OLD baby, not the 16 month old.


Me, too. I tried alternative methods of soothing if he'd nursed recently, but if nothing else worked, then I nursed. So, I fed him what he needed, but I didn't act as the human pacifier.

And no one is suggesting starving the child. [8|] We're suggesting alternative methods of soothing. He may object to less nursing, but that's because he is in the habit of nursing and he enjoys it.

A child that old does not need to be nursing at night. He's old enough to have a solids snack and give mom a chance to sleep. If she wanted to keep nursing through the night, that's one thing. Obviously, she was looking for other ideas.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Nursing a 16 month old at night (7/18/2008 2:04:32 PM)

quote:

A child that old does not need to be nursing at night

Clearly he DOES need to eat at night, or he would not be waking up and eating. I suppose she could give him something besides breastmilk if she liked--and that was a suggestion--but it's easier to breastfeed than it is to get out of bed and make a sandwich, and at that age, nothing they eat is as complete as breastmilk anyway.



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