Doing right thing = Boring (Full Version)

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LkM07 -> Doing right thing = Boring (7/7/2008 3:40:01 PM)

I have fought with this for a long time and I guess you could even label it an extreme case of "the grass is always greener". I realize that I need to learn to count my blessing and stop comparing but MAN it is so hard. Here is my beef.

I understand that as Christians we are called to lead different and very challenging lives for the Lord. I used to find so much hope and inspiration in that thought and it made lots of things seem so worth it but I have found myself starting be become worn. Year after year of choosing to not comform, choose the better road and obey God I seem to see nothing but friends, people I know, People I wouldnt call enemies but you know.. arent my favorite and do bad things, seeming to live more exciting friend filled, eventful lives than myself. You know what I mean? I mean sometimes when your just obeying God, and fleeing all temptation you left with... well alot of Boring. lol

Im not jelous of everything because the bar life, or sitting around getting waisted drinking drugs whatever is NOT appealing to me at all, I can see past that stuff.. MOST of the time. I think its the having lots of friends to hang out with and joking around, be goofy with is what I envy in a way. There is some people you know who drink and do stupid stuff who are already reaping bad things in their life as a product of their actions and looking at them I dont feel envy at all, they are just a huge mess.. But its the other people. They are the groups of people who, drink, go to bars, dance clubs, yet still look very professional, and seem to have no drama, but very fun successful lives. I KNOW that there is no way for you to know just how "happy" any person really is and that looks are incredibly discieving, and its safe to assume they are reaping what they sew also but its those people that I start to envy.. and I dont want to do that.

I guess its just that I long for some friendships with people that are Christians but are also fun, and I have something in common with. It seems there is no medium you know, its hard to find Christian friends who are.. well I have to go ahead and say it.. "cool"! (put in quotes for a very good reason) I find that most people my age (20s) who go to Church I have NOTHING in common with. Its not that I think Im better than them I just have NOTHING in common with them.. My husband and I had some friends who we had alot on common with, they were so fun and seemed to be on the same track as us as far as following the Lord. Well long story short they started cutting loose, drinking etc, and we had a dissagreement with them over allow underaged drinking at their house and our friendship with them has never been the same. I was so heartbroken by this.. Now we have no real friends to hang with and MAN things get so boring. We cant relate to older adults that have kids already, we are too old for right out of HS aged kids.. its seems all our friends that were Christians have gone the other direction and are having the time of their lives.. I just dont get it.

I guess I just need encouragement in this area to know that regardless of this we are still doing what is right and that is ALL that matters.



Psalms274 -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/7/2008 3:57:13 PM)

I have found that doing the right thing is anything but boring ... challenging yes, boring, not so much.

I have amazing Christian friends who are tons of fun ... check out the college and career groups within your local churches ... and most importantly ask God to give you Godly, fun friends (which should go hand in hand ... [;)])



JimboFletch -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/7/2008 3:59:39 PM)

After I was born again, I found that I could do anything I want to.

However, Jesus changed my "want to" so that I find joy in doing things that would please Him.



Liveloved -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/7/2008 4:06:18 PM)

LkMo7,

This too shall pass. We all go through times/phases in our lives where things don't look good or feel right and we find ourselves longing for something more. It is part of our human condition. Part of that longing you are experiencing is to have the true family of believers that scripture speaks of and someday you will. And in the meantime, we have to be satisfied (at times) with the crumbs that fall from the table. Other times it seems the blessings are piled high and we're overwhelmed with God's goodness to us. If you truly know Jesus and are in close relationship to Him, just hang in there. This season will pass and some new blessing will come your way and you'lll find yourself rejoicing again. And in the meantime, be thankful and praise the Lord! Even when His goodness seems remote, far away, and we feel like we're missing out, we need to praise and thank Him. He's near. He's with you and He wants His very best for you. And that is what He will accomplish for you. He is faithful! Bless you![:)] LL



drussell52 -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/7/2008 4:08:39 PM)

Hi, you are not alone. Married for 12 years, attend a church but find more fellowship with folks in groups like these during the week compared to "church." I can for some reason be myself instead of part of a music team and admired for my regular involvement, reliability and dependability. Remember the verse in Revelation that says to us, Be faithful unto death and I will give you a crown of life." Eternity is a lot longer than now, may you be aided by God to keep that your goal and focus, but glad you recognize your humanity too. Keep on truckin!



earthless -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/7/2008 4:12:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JimboFletch

After I was born again, I found that I could do anything I want to.

However, Jesus changed my "want to" so that I find joy in doing things that would please Him.


Amen for that truth! Some people say, "Well, if I believed in this doctrine, then I'd get saved and I'd sin all I want to."

Friend, I sin all I want to.

I sin more than I want to.

I don't want to!

When you get saved you get your 'wanter' fixed.

As a matter of fact, you get a brand new 'wanter'.



Psalms274 -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/7/2008 4:34:08 PM)

quote:

I think its the having lots of friends to hang out with and joking around, be goofy with is what I envy in a way.


.... this sentance catches my attention because this is how I describe my relationship with my Christian friends ... are y'all sure you are in the right church?

When I moved I asked God very specifically for a few very close friends .... and He did "more than I could ask or imagine" when He answered. We laugh so hard it hurts at times ... one was a missionary for 10 years before her husband died, the other seems to be going to the mission field in the next few years. Both are "cool" and fun. [;)] I think sometimes SOME Christians try so hard to be righteous, they stop being themselves .. and CAN become rather boring.

But if you are truly living for Chist, your life should be anything but boring. John Piper restates the first question of the Westminster Shorter Catechism (question: What is the chief purpose of man? answer: To glorify God and enjoy Him forever ...) answer: To golrify God BY enjoying Him forever. We should have more freedom to enjoy our lives than anyone who does not know Christ ... yet we can be (at times ... and I am preaching to myself here too) so self absorbed with trying to live as a Christian, we are make God to look rather borish. The truth is WE are trying to be Christ-like without His help ... and this is indeed boring and unattractive to the world (and to us.[;)])



BlackCapnHarlock -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/7/2008 6:55:03 PM)

Many times being a Christian means you will spend a lot of time alone with GOD. Or just a lot of time away from people. There are times when folks are around and there are times when you are alone.

Maybe it's time for you to find a good christian woman and settle down and have a family, things will never be the same.



asmsw -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/7/2008 10:32:10 PM)

lkM07,

WOW!!!!!!!!!!

This is amazing.

This is EXACTLY how I feel. Except ofcourse I'm a guy.

I'm 22. Became a Christian 2 years ago.

This past week everything has just seemed to come down. I am just worn down, or tired from not doing the things (bar, clubs, that I see so many others doing). And doing the good things.

THEY ARE FUN. Atleast they appear to be. But honestly I get disgusted with them, even before I was a CHristian.

It's just been seemingly boring for me.

But one thing you should be SO THANKFUL FOR is your HUSBAND. You may not have any girlfriends but you have a HUSBAND whom you can talk to and do things with.

And Yes,

It is hard to find friends, even Christian friends. And yes, many that I have met around my age are just "strange". I'm glad that I read the Bible and believed before meeting some of the people my age who are Christians, hehe.

I am going to start volunteering though. I think that will be of great value and that will be a change.

Sometimes that's all we need, just a slight adjustment or change, not an overhaul to add spice to our life. If you want to have fun or excitement, we should try to find something that is fun and exciting which is of benefit to others.

Ehud



truthrevealed -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/7/2008 11:23:13 PM)

As a thirty-something, I can COMPLETELY relate. God bless you that at the tender time of your twenties, that you're faced with this dilemma(for in my twenties....well.....won't go there). You're in the time of transition. God is weaning you slowly but surely from "old things" preparing you for the abundance of new things that He has for you(which includes new relationships). Every one's story is different and we face different challenges but the "transition" period is a reality for all christians. Keep your faith during what will feel like a dry season, be encouraged that you are not alone, and be hopeful that God WILL replace and restore more than what you've given up to seek after Him(because there will be times where it's difficult to remain stedfast....but you can!!)



SonInMe1 -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/8/2008 4:03:24 AM)

People need to be real.

You need to be real. Friends...are human too, even christian ones. We are not always fun filled. Life isn't excitement all the time. In fact its seldom that exciting.

A friend is more than a good time charlie. Much more. Sure you can have a hundred good time charlies, but when the stuff hits the fan, they are no where to be found. We all have too many good time charlie freinds.

We need real friends and to do that we need to be real. STOP being so fake. STOP putting on the fake smile. STOP with the christianese and speak in english. STOP looking for yourself to be served and start serving others.

That...is the excitment of life...to die to self so Christ may live through you to others. To fully commit to the adventure of following Christ Jesus.

Friends..are people you serve. You want a good time with friends....make that good time. Find a hobby other people at church enjoy. Golf. Bowling. Softball. Knitting. Reading. Skateboarding. Cooking.

Heck, ya know the best times I have had with church people? It was cleaning the church. It was praying in the interccesary prayer group. It was going on a prayer walk with my pastor and group leader.

Its knowing one reason why my dad is saved is him seeing the change in me.

Its helping the immature to understand more about God.

Its feeding the hungry.

Now, those things...are exciting.



DaveW -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/8/2008 6:38:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackCapnHarlock

Maybe it's time for you to find a good christian woman and settle down and have a family, things will never be the same.
Didn't the OP say this:?
quote:

My husband and I had some friends who we had alot on common with, they were so fun and seemed to be on the same track as us as far as following the Lord. Well long story short they started cutting loose, drinking etc,



Little_1 -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/8/2008 7:32:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JimboFletch

After I was born again, I found that I could do anything I want to.

However, Jesus changed my "want to" so that I find joy in doing things that would please Him.



[sm=angel.gif][sm=angel.gif][sm=angel.gif][sm=angel.gif][sm=angel.gif][sm=angel.gif][sm=angel.gif]



LkM07 -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/8/2008 9:03:55 AM)

Thanks for all the replies and stories. No dont get me wrong, I have fun with my husband, and we talk about EVERYTHING together, we have good discussions. We SOMETIMES share sense of humor (though sometimes he gets all goofy like an 8th grader on me and I have to yell at him). I guess we both just miss having friends to hang with.. we have lost the one friends as mentioned above, had another set move a way some time ago and my BEST girl friend in the world moved away about 2 or 3 years ago. I do miss having a girl friend. Its funny, sometimes we will be out somewhere, and I will be prospecting friends... kinda like that episode of King of Queens where they lose their couple best friends and I looking for new one at the grocery!
We do have friends at Church but most of them have kids and, somehow that always seems to be a barrier in getting to hang with them outside of Church. Its like if we had kids too then all of a sudden we would be a friend match made in heaven! maybe we should rush and have kids! lol jj. although I think people do that when they hit boring stages in their lives dont you? (rush and have kids that is)

I guess its not just my frustration with how hard it is to find good friends, but a hard time understanding that why people who arent living moral disappllined lives have to appear to be having the times of their lives. Again I know that alot of people like that are actually very pained and unsatisfied on the inside.. I guess anyway, but there is always that group of people that seem to have it together, yet do nothing good for themselves or others.



rcjames -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/8/2008 9:58:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LkM07

I have fought with this for a long time and I guess you could even label it an extreme case of "the grass is always greener". I realize that I need to learn to count my blessing and stop comparing but MAN it is so hard. Here is my beef.

I understand that as Christians we are called to lead different and very challenging lives for the Lord.


Well I find doing the right thing neither challenging nor boring.

Scripture tells us;

(Mat 11:29) Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

(Mat 11:30) For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Light, easy, and rest for your soul does not sound burdensom.

Now if one is so desirous of walking in sin to make that one miserable; then maybe they need to spend a little more time in the Word and understand the provisions made for believers.

Paul speaks to living in the flesh and walking in;

(Gal 5:19) Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, (Gal 5:20) Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, (Gal 5:21) Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Now juxtapose that against walking in the Spirit;

(Gal 5:22) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, (Gal 5:23) Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

The burden, stress, pain, torment, etc. seem to be with serving the flesh; not following after the Spirit.

Thanks
RC



Zhi -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/8/2008 10:13:52 AM)

Well, I would say make your own fun.

I never got into the bar scene at all. There's so much to do without getting into the bar scene. Find an activity you're interested in, find a club or a class for it, and voila. Find volunteer opportunities. Take up ballroom dancing. Take up kayaking. Join a volleyball league. Join a book club. Join a Bible study. Serve meals to the homeless. Tutor kids in a subject you're good at. You'll never be bored again, you will make more friends interested in the same things as you, and you won't have to feel like you're compromising your faith.



rcjames -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/8/2008 10:18:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LkM07
I guess its not just my frustration with how hard it is to find good friends, but a hard time understanding that why people who arent living moral disappllined lives have to appear to be having the times of their lives.


Just exactly what are these folks doing that you find so potentially funfilled and exciting.

Thanks
RC



LkM07 -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/8/2008 11:16:38 AM)

quote:

Now if one is so desirous of walking in sin to make that one miserable


lol gotta love it when this happens. Either (A) you didnt read my post through, or (B) you are twisting things so you have a response.

I said NOTHING about desiring to walk in sin. My who thread has been about how I wish it wasnt so hard to find good christians friends to have fun outside of that sort of stuff. I only said I dont understand why people who live in sin seem to ahve such fun exciting lives. I also said that the bar scene etc.. is not appealing to me.

Thanks. Good scriptures though.



LkM07 -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/8/2008 11:22:35 AM)

EXACTLY!

quote:

Just exactly what are these folks doing that you find so potentially funfilled and exciting.


Oh plenty of stuff.. I think you know probably. again I dont see WHAT they do as funfilled and exciting, at all, it all looks so empty to me BUT, the seem so happy. I dont understand HOW and WHY. Same question as you really.



rcjames -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/8/2008 11:42:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LkM07

EXACTLY!

quote:

Just exactly what are these folks doing that you find so potentially funfilled and exciting.


Oh plenty of stuff.. I think you know probably. again I dont see WHAT they do as funfilled and exciting, at all, it all looks so empty to me BUT, the seem so happy. I dont understand HOW and WHY. Same question as you really.


So it is their precieved happiness that you are concerned with, or would that be your percieved unhappiness?

The folks are probably just decieved, I know I was. As a young man I would go and and drink all night, fight, have sex with whoever I oculd, then really yuk it up the next day about what a great time I had.

I was lying to myself and to anyone who whould listen. In reality I was miserable to the core.

If you are miserably being a Christian, then I would suggest sone introspection into yourself and what you consider being a Christian means.

Life is great, life is wonderful, life is fun, and as Christians we can do anything nonChristians can do except sin. And sin is not fun.

Please to consider your perception of the Christian life, maybe it needs to be adjusted to line up with Scripture.

Just a suggestion.

Thanks
RC



ChristopherJ -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/8/2008 12:12:52 PM)

"You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore." (Psalm 16:11).

This past Sunday, I celebrated my 36th birthday, and on that day, I realized that - because I got saved at the age of 18 - I had spent the first half of my life lost in sin, and the last half of my life (thus far!) serving God. And I can honestly say that the past 18 years have been more satisfying and fulfilling than they were when I was going to bars, getting drunk, and into the whole party scene!

Many Christians have bought into the lie that as Christians, we can't have fun, and that anything fun is sin. We have erroneously believed that God is a cosmic kill-joy up in Heaven who looked down on Planet Earth and everything that was fun, he put a big red stamp on it that says, "SIN!" Nothing could be further than the truth. The above Scripture shows us that God's desire is that we would experience joys and pleasures - in fact, that's the description of the very presence of God! Jesus Himself said, "The thief (Satan) comes to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come that you might have life, and have it more abundantly." (John 10:10). When God calls something sin, it is because that particular action is one that leads to death - be it physical death, or spiritual death, that results in a loss of joy, peace, healthy, hope, etc.

And yet - the reality is, as our original poster stated, that there are a lot of Christians. Why is this? Perhaps it is because we have reduced Christianity to a once-a-week meeting where we sing songs and hear stories about what God did "way back when" in the Bible days, instead of pursuing a vibrant, living relationship with Him today. This past Sunday morning, I shared with our congregation the Scripture in Daniel 11:32 that says, "But the people who know their God will be strong and carry out great exploits." Jesus never called anyone to 'go to church' or 'be nice'... He calls us to follow Him. And when we are following Him, we can expect great adventures. As we begin living the Christian life - loving God and loving people - looking for ways to bless people and help those around us, we begin to really live.

I encourage you, LkM07, to check out John Piper's ministry - his website http://www.desiringgod.org/ and some of his books like "Desiring God" and "When I Don't Desire God - How to Fight for Joy" as he gives some great insights into how to experience the abundant life, fullness of joy and rivers of pleasure that God has prepared for His children. I trust that they will be a blessing and an encouragement to you!

In the meantime, I encourage you to continue praying and trusting God to lead you to like-minded believers that you can do life with, those who have similar interests, passions and sense of humour with whom you can be real, open and honest, and have fun serving Jesus. God bless you!



ChristopherJ -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/8/2008 12:13:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: earthless

Amen for that truth! Some people say, "Well, if I believed in this doctrine, then I'd get saved and I'd sin all I want to."

Friend, I sin all I want to.

I sin more than I want to.

I don't want to!

When you get saved you get your 'wanter' fixed.

As a matter of fact, you get a brand new 'wanter'.


earthless,

I like that post - thanks for sharing that!



bob97 -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/8/2008 12:35:43 PM)

Hi LkM07... have you ever been really deeply in love? If so how did that emotional aspect of your life make you feel? Did you feel like the world was smiling on you? Did you feel that nothing could really affect you...you were just happy with everything?

I ask you this because most people who are truly in love feels a joy that transcends everything else in life.

Loving God will give you that same bliss and will lift you above the world around you.

Bob



Liveloved -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/8/2008 12:45:27 PM)

quote:

And yet - the reality is, as our original poster stated, that there are a lot of Christians. Why is this? Perhaps it is because we have reduced Christianity to a once-a-week meeting where we sing songs and hear stories about what God did "way back when" in the Bible days, instead of pursuing a vibrant, living relationship with Him today. This past Sunday morning, I shared with our congregation the Scripture in Daniel 11:32 that says, "But the people who know their God will be strong and carry out great exploits." Jesus never called anyone to 'go to church' or 'be nice'... He calls us to follow Him. And when we are following Him, we can expect great adventures. As we begin living the Christian life - loving God and loving people - looking for ways to bless people and help those around us, we begin to really live.

I encourage you, LkM07, to check out John Piper's ministry - his website http://www.desiringgod.org/ and some of his books like "Desiring God" and "When I Don't Desire God - How to Fight for Joy" as he gives some great insights into how to experience the abundant life, fullness of joy and rivers of pleasure that God has prepared for His children. I trust that they will be a blessing and an encouragement to you!

In the meantime, I encourage you to continue praying and trusting God to lead you to like-minded believers that you can do life with, those who have similar interests, passions and sense of humour with whom you can be real, open and honest, and have fun serving Jesus. God bless you!


Thank you, Chris, for this wonderful response to the OP. In His presence IS fulness of joy but it often takes years of growing and growing up for believers to come to that reality. You know that and have gracefully invited LkM07 to keep walking and believing and trusting the Lord to get her there. Thank you!

I want to speak to the remainder of your post. While I have been to John Piper's church (once), many of us live in remote, rural areas where we have few choices regarding finding suitable fellowship. And when I say 'suitable', I am not referring to the myriad of personal biases and opinions and judgments that can keep you isolated from everyone and everything. But I am talking about where you find a good and godly mature pastor/teacher and church of hungry, growing believers.

So when you do not have that resource, it is hard to meet up with couples for friendship as well which the OP is referring to. And in rural areas, almost everyone has family in which they are intensely involved and there is little to no time available for other friendships.

I do not intend to sound like I am complaining. I am just trying to share the reality of life in rural America. I believe we are to practice hospitality and for years I have invited people over for dinner on Sundays and our home is always open to visitors---we just had a missionary with us the past two days. At our previous church, we always had Sunday dinner guests and usually they were invited after worship---one time my husband had invited 17 guests! And it was a wonderful time of fellowship. However, my point is, we were/are an anomaly. Rarely (if ever?) was an invitation extended to us.

I've been having some health problems this year. Had surgery on my knee about a month ago and am not able to be on my feet as much or get around quite as quickly. It would be nice to have others extend invitations at a time like this (and we have no family in the area). It does not happen often. So if we want the fellowship that is so important, we have to do the inviting, the preparing, the food, etc.

So I can truly understand what the OP is experiencing. I've lived it. And God has used it for good in my life because it turned me into the person of hospitality that He desires/commands (Romans 12:13) us to be.

Instead of being frustrated or becoming angry with 'the way things are', we have to let the Lord USE these various circumstances to mold and shape us into the people He wants us to be. Maybe that is the place our OP is in right now---the mold is getting pressed tighter. But LkM07, you will emerge more beautifully in the image of the One you love! Surrender to His molding and shaping work in you and you will indeed be blessed! He is faithful and He will bring it to pass! Bless you![:)] LL



LkM07 -> RE: Doing right thing = Boring (7/8/2008 1:03:23 PM)

rcjames and Christopher, There is no doubt that I could use to change my perspective on things.. I realize this, I guess with posting this I was stuck in a moment of wondering why its so hard, and why it seems so unfair. I think I have a problem with comparing my life with other in the amount of fun and excitement that is going on. There is no doubt that everyones life has some times of being mondane.. especially when your staring off together in marriage maybe and there is lots of work to be done. (that is our case). I mean dont get me wrong, I love my husband and we have had some great times together its just you get busy and work gets hard at times.. consuming.

And ot be honest I have been struggling with my walk with God. I have been distant, not reading and praying like I should for months. Time is part of the problem (which I know is a lame excuse) but the biggest problem is discouragement. The church I go to both me and my husband have been very involved with at times. I myself have gone to this church for my entire life. in the past 5 years we had a church split, our pastor/good friend of mine for 21 years leaving and start a disturbing lifestyle leaving alot of us feeling very confused and hurt. I thought I had a grasp on it and was able to get past it and realize even people of ministry can fall hard but Im finding more and more that I seem to be really hurt about it still. Our Church has made a turn for the better with our new pastor but there is still things going on that bother me. I sometimes dunno if its really them or me being left with trust issues. I guess I could just say that my Church life world has been turned upsideown in the past few years and has left me feeling... well very discouraged.

Its not that I doubt God, I believe and have faith but I just took a big hit with all of that and am having a hard time recovering.



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