I am so nervous about the decision (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Life] >> HomeSchool Support



Message

shakeray -> I am so nervous about the decision (7/7/2008 8:35:40 AM)

I am so scared that my daughter will feel left out when my 5 year old gets on the bus.
I am scared that we won't like home school. Some days during my research I get fired up and some days I think it will be easier to just send her to school until I am 'ready'. The truth is, I have a little over a month to get ready. My question is for those of you who did not decide to homeschool out of anger, was your decision based on the fact that the pros outweighed the cons?
I do not have anything negative to say about public school, I just believe that HS would be better for my daughter since she has ADD and needs so much individual attention. I feel like I am just rambling. This is just such a HUGE decision and I have prayed about it and I still have mixed feelings. Thanks for listening.
Amy



misaham -> RE: I am so nervous about the decision (7/7/2008 8:42:48 AM)

Hi Amy,
Our decision was not made out of anger, but there was some frustration there. We had homeschooled in the past, but our kids went to public school for 4 1/2 years before we returned to homeschooling in January of this year.
I definitely feel that the benefits outweigh those of PS, at least for us. My son also has ADD, and is very smart ("gifted"), and the school had nothing to offer him. My daughter was facing a lot of persecution for her faith and choices that she has made (purity, etc) and she is only 13!
Most important to me was having 1) a SAFE place for them to grow and learn and be themselves, and 2) to be able to spend time with them and challenge them in both their weak areas and their strong.
What a blessing to be able to let my son learn in a way that works for him (which is NOT sitting at a desk all day doing workbooks!), and letting him soar!!
As far as getting ready, there is so much that you can do with her at this age without a lot of "stuff". Read to her and study letters and sounds, do math with Cheerios, check out the library... make it fun!
I'll be praying for you! Keep praying, and the answers will come! [sm=hug.gif]



Ellie-Mae -> RE: I am so nervous about the decision (7/7/2008 8:43:33 AM)

Actually, we decided to hs before we were even married. For us, it was a simple decision.

Our question was more like: Is there any reason at all that we should send our children away to be educated? Since there has never been a good reason to do so, we continue to hs them. We have never regretted it.



Sunnymom -> RE: I am so nervous about the decision (7/7/2008 9:01:04 AM)

I wanted to homeschool from the minute I knew it was a legal choice, but I didn't start until my firstborn was going into 1st grade. I knew I could do much better than the private school he attended.

I agree with Ellie-Mae - I don't have any reason to send my kids somewhere else to be educated. I can't think of any benefit for my kids in a traditional school that outweighs the benefits they reap in our homeschool.

It's easy to say and hard to do sometimes- but RELAX. You will not scar your children for life by home educating. They will not be guests on Jerry Springer throwing chairs and yelling at the camera about their dysfunctional childhood. There are ups and downs, pros and cons regardless of what you choose, but you need to choose what is best for your kids and your family overall, not what is easier, and not based on unstable emotions. Your feelings will change, but the principles on which you base your decisions should not be easily influenced.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: I am so nervous about the decision (7/7/2008 10:54:08 AM)

Why not homeschool both kids?

I have a friend whose DH used to be a PS teacher. When she wanted to homeschool she said, 'It's just kindergarten...how much damage could I possibly do in one year?!' and he said yes to a year, and the next year she said, 'It's just first grade....' and now they have been homeschooling for 10 years.

Now, I made a life-long decision to homeschool the kids all the way through when they were teensy but YOU are not being asked to sign a contract here. Just take it one year at a time. And one day at a time some days! LOL



cynthia -> RE: I am so nervous about the decision (7/7/2008 2:02:49 PM)

We also didn't see any point in sending our first born off to school. My husband worked swing shift, so he would only have seen her on weekends, during the school year. Some of his co-workers had told him that they barely knew their own kids because of their schedule difference. Dh kind of freaked over that. We had talked about homeschooling and couldn't see putting the kids in our local schools, where I grew up. So when the time came for kindergarten, we just opted out and are happy with our decision to this day. We never had any reason to put them in school, so we didn't.



lifeisgoodwgod -> RE: I am so nervous about the decision (7/7/2008 2:04:25 PM)

I didn't follow my instincts and sent my dd to public school for 4 years. When she kept bringing all her busy work home from the day I said we can do this at home. She would have probably been labeled ADD because she is easily distracted. I was the MOST nervous homeschool mom on the planet our first year and have since RELAXED. We are starting our 6th year this fall and she will be in 9th grade. I couldn't be happier. Yes we may miss some things covered in PS, but more than likely we cover more and different subjects. We can study "real" history without taking out Christianity which this nation was founded on. Why not homeschool both kids? I think it would be easier to have 2. They can help each other. You did not say how old your dd was? They can learn a lot together. A class of 2 with 1 teacher. How perfect is that? Good luck![:)]



creationtalk -> RE: I am so nervous about the decision (7/7/2008 8:25:37 PM)

I did not decide to homeschool out of anger. I decided to homeschool a good 10 years before my son was born. At that time, I was teaching basic algebra to a few of the nations future teachers (presumably current now). Lets just say that experience convinced me that I could teach any children I might have better than 6 in 10 of these people and as well or better than at least 3 of the remaining 4. I wasn't willing to base a child's future on the odds that the 1 in 10 teacher who might be able to do better than I would A) teach at the school my child(ren) attend and B) be in my child's classroom. Until that point, homeschooling was not even on the radar. Both my parents taught public school (PS), my father until retirement. However, the more I learned about the qualification standards for public school teachers, the quality and content of "education" courses, and the "stuff" that is increasingly taught in PS, the more convinced I am that I made the right decision. I've had this decision supported by 2 current PS teachers and a PS administrator. Not to mention, all I have to do is look at my son and know that he would not do well in the schools in this area.



shakeray -> RE: I am so nervous about the decision (7/7/2008 9:37:43 PM)

misaham,
One problem is that my daughter is not considered gifted. She is way behind and I feel like she would have a better chance of catching up here with me. Thanks for you encouragement.



misaham -> RE: I am so nervous about the decision (7/8/2008 12:20:53 AM)

quote:

One problem is that my daughter is not considered gifted. She is way behind and I feel like she would have a better chance of catching up here with me.


I totally agree. With my son and your daughter, they are not the "average" kids who fit the "average" class. You can give her SO much more... plus it is filled with love and true understanding of your own child. No teacher can have that.

The teacher who both of my kids had in 4th grade said, when I told her in an e-mail that we had started homeschooling (BTW - son is 6th grade this year, daughter is 8th)... "I am so glad you made the move to home school. I did not know you had done this. You have two very special children Melissa. They were a joy to teach. They are both very smart and you have always had such a good handle
intuitively on both of them. They are so lucky to have a you and your husband for parents."

The main point that I got out of that is that SHE (a PS teacher) is glad that we started homeschooling, and she said "you have always had such a good handle intuitively on both of them", which is my point. We can see things and understand things about them... and even though we were very blessed with this teacher, whom I adore, she did not have the time or energy to devote to my son in the way he needed it.
Be encouraged! You are doing the right thing, even in just questioning and praying about this option. It is not easy, but it is amazing and fun and awesome!!



amybreit -> RE: I am so nervous about the decision (7/8/2008 8:56:47 AM)

Well, we had even less time to "prepare" than you did. Although we had an idea that hs may be our choice. Ds was in ps for K in AL. We moved to DC in late July, decided none of the alternatives (public, charter, private) were doable for us so we ordered curriculum & I was teaching by the beginning of September! We had just a little over a month to "get ready". I think if you wait until you think you are ready, you'll never start. Kind of like waiting to have a baby until you have enough money![;)] We chose to hs not out of anger, but more like desperation! But God knew what he was doing - putting us where hs seemed to be the only viable option for us! Now we've moved & I guess the ps here is good (never really checked). But we are a hsing family. Having said that - we are not opposed to considering other options for the kids if that is where God leads us. Like Jennifer said - you aren't signing up to hs all the way through! I'm sure you KNOW that your daughter will get more attention & have a better chance of "catching up" with you at home. Hold on to that thought! Will it still be scary - YES! There are days after 7 years of hsing that I still get worried, but I've seen results with my kids & know this is what God wants us to be doing. You'll see results too & it will encourage you. Will every day be perfect & your dd never get frustrated or fail? NO - I'd venture to say that hasn't happened with her in ps either. I guess what I'm trying to say is that things won't go perfectly & there will be days that you wonder what you were thinking, but those are the exceptions NOT the rule! I can't guarantee it, but if I were a betting woman, I'd bet that in a few months you will see the fruits of your labor & be less scared about it all!

I'd also like to encourage you that if you feel it is right to send your 5 year old to ps K, that it is OK. It may be that this year you really need to concentrate on your older child & as long as you don't feel it will be a harmful situation for the 5 year old, go for it! You may decide next year to pull that child home, but that will be something you all will need to decide at the time.



mschickie -> RE: I am so nervous about the decision (7/8/2008 9:07:05 AM)

I would not say that we choose to homeschool out of anger with the ps. We took sd out due to her behavior issues. We had previously made a request to the district to change her lunch (kids she ate with were very bad influences) to help the situtation but due to scheduling it would have required them to redo her entire schedule. Looking back we should have insisted but we did not fight it so it is partly our fault.

That was our original reason for homeschooling, now though we can see some of the educational flaws with the system. Sd had been an honors student in middle school and did ok during the 1st part of 9th grade. Little did we realize how much she did not know. We always knew that she did not love reading but did not know that her comprehension skills were that bad, nor did we realize that she was relying on a calculator to do her basic arithmatic in math.

The ps in our area are also very standardized test orientated. There would be rallys to get the kids excited and pumped up for the state la test. That never sat well with me. I started really looking at how the schools taught and what type of climate it was. Dh and I determened that the current ps environment is not the most condusive to actually learning. Yes kids do learn, many do really well but we believe that our youngest dd would not grow in the ps as much as she could at home. She will go to ps kindergarten maybe 1st because sd needs so much of my attention to get through hs but after that dd will be at home (and it may be before that if dd starts getting bored). DD is very active and likes to really learn about things, she is ahead of where most kids are at her age. I am not sure if she is "gifted" or not but I could care less about the label. I just want her love of learning to continue and the ps is all about rules and assembly line learning which is not what we want.

The key is you need to do what is best for each child. You may have a wonderful district that will really help your one child and may not work for the other. I know plenty of people that homeschool one or two and have others that go to the ps. You just do what you think is neccessary.



shakeray -> RE: I am so nervous about the decision (7/9/2008 6:39:13 AM)

Melissa--I think dd had the best teacher last year! The problem is, no matter how great teachers are they do not know my child like I do. As soon as they get to know them well, school is out and they will get a new teacher.
Amy& mschickie--Thank you for what you both said about sending dd2 to K in PS. She loves school and learnes very easily. I need to focus on dd1 first and them see what happens in the future.
Now, I have TONS of workbooks and learning materials. I am thinking that I won't need to spend a lot of money on a full curriculum.



amybreit -> RE: I am so nervous about the decision (7/9/2008 8:34:23 AM)

quote:

I am thinking that I won't need to spend a lot of money on a full curriculum.
You're already ahead of where many of us started! The one lesson I wish I learned earlier is that when you are the one choosing & paying for the curriculum, you can throw it out if it's not working! (I don't mean literally throw it out, because you may want to sell it or give it to someone else). Just because you bought it & started it, doesn't mean you have to plod through & finish it at all costs! This was a hard one for me (I'm sort of a checklist person & like to finish things, although you wouldn't know that if you came to my house![;)]).



misaham -> RE: I am so nervous about the decision (7/9/2008 10:59:41 AM)

quote:

Melissa--I think dd had the best teacher last year! The problem is, no matter how great teachers are they do not know my child like I do. As soon as they get to know them well, school is out and they will get a new teacher.


Yes, I agree! This is one teacher that I thought was great and would have loved to have kept! [;)]
As I mentioned, even she praised my connection with my kids and was glad that we chose to homeschool. That meant a lot to me, as even she recognized the needs that I can meet in my kids that noone else can.



sen10tious -> RE: I am so nervous about the decision (7/9/2008 11:13:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shakeray

My question is for those of you who did not decide to homeschool out of anger, was your decision based on the fact that the pros outweighed the cons?

Amy


No. I did it because it made me happy. Fulfilling one's calling does that, you know.

One thing I would really encourage young families to do is to move as quickly as your emotions allow into changing your paradigms more toward seeing your family as a cohesive unit. It is classroom thinking that separates the ages and grade levels. In a homeschooling lifestyle, each child has their place as part of a larger unit.

I do understand people thinking that they need to get one child settled and then they can move on and add the next; there are times and extenuating circumstances when that will be the best you can do. But ultimately, that is not the highest way God designed families to function.

The sooner you can get to homeschoolers are "who we are," and evolve away from the "homeschooling is something I do for dd" mindset; the faster your fears, frustrations, and doubts will begin to fall away.

I suppose there will always be a few scoffers who won't like my answer. They will think, 'She did it to make herself happy; but what about what is best for the kids?' If you happen to be one of those people, then you have totally missed the point of the second paragraph. And I shall not be able to explain it to you. The happiness didn't come from getting what I wanted. It came from being in the flow.



shakeray -> RE: I am so nervous about the decision (7/9/2008 9:46:47 PM)

Can someone please tell me how to change the title of a thread. My other comment got locked and I want to change this one.



cynthia -> RE: Shakeray is going to homeschool! (7/9/2008 11:14:35 PM)

When you hit the reply box, the title of the thread is displayed at the top. You can type a new title in there, just like I did. [:D]



shakeray -> RE: Shakeray is going to homeschool! (7/10/2008 7:35:16 AM)

Cool thanks!



shadowspring -> RE: Shakeray is going to homeschool! (7/10/2008 9:59:28 AM)

Congratulations, shakeray!

I have never regretted my decision to home school for long, though I will admit there have been times my confidence was shaken and I was wondering if I knew what I was doing, home schooling my children!

My daughter, especially, has been the greatest source of joy and pride and also the greatest source of concern and outright fear at times! She is in the running still for National Merit (we'll find out where she ultimately stands in the mix this September, but we know she is in the competition somewhere! ;-), she was just accepted into a local university, she is working as an au pair for our widowed single-parent neighbor this summer- everybody's dream daughter, no? She's never done drugs, never gotten drunk, never snuck out, and she's still a virgin.

But boy has she given us the scare of our lives, and more than once! When she was giving me the most trouble (9th grade), I thought about public school. It was just such a struggle to get her to do anything positive!

Then I thought about it and realized that throwing her into the mix with other mixed-up, rebellious, self-centered teens was the most stupid decision I could ever make!

We just kept praying, and God moved in her life in other ways, through people other than her family and it was awesome.

Was that the end of our struggles with her? No way. She has scared the bejeebers out of us as recently as last month! But if we had not been home schooling her, if we were not as close as we are, then these problems would have had time to blossom and bear deadly fruit in her life before we would even have known how serious the danger was!

So academics are important, but they are not the most important part of home schooling. The relationship you are building with your children is by far the most important part of home schooling, imho.

So don't sweat the academics. There is so much help out there on the teaching side of things. Cherish every moment you get to spend with your children, and point the way to Jesus all day, every day. Let mercy lead, as Rich Mullins wrote. You will do just fine. [:)]



misaham -> RE: Shakeray is going to homeschool! (7/10/2008 10:48:34 AM)

And don't forget what a great source of support all of the wonderful ladies here are! They have been such a huge help to me!
God bless! It is worth it!!



amybreit -> RE: Shakeray is going to homeschool! (7/10/2008 12:40:10 PM)

quote:

And don't forget what a great source of support all of the wonderful ladies here are!
I'll add my AMEN to this! I've gotten a lot of support & help here!

Amy - I also wanted to invite you to join us in the chat thread sometime! (July Chat Thread) It can seem a bit overwhelming because there are time when there are lots of posts & it can be hard to keep up with, but we don't mind someone just joining in & posting when they can. We chat about our lives, not just hsing!



misaham -> RE: Shakeray is going to homeschool! (7/10/2008 5:01:29 PM)

quote:

We chat about our lives, not just hsing!


Yes! That is one of the best parts! Support and friendship for everyday life!! [sm=dance.gif]



walosi16 -> hs for pr-school (7/17/2008 1:01:27 PM)

I have a 7 month old dd and am terrible at procrasting and don't want to risk putting this off too long. We don't have much money to spend on hs, but I don't want to send her off to ps til she's older at least. I was hoping ya'll could give me some info on where to start. What curriculum to try and such. Any help would be appreciated. I feel as ready as a fish trying to walk..lol.



shadowspring -> RE: hs for pr-school (7/17/2008 1:34:08 PM)

Walosi,

Start with loving your baby and talking to him/her all the time, mentioning colors and textures and generally encouraging a sense of wonder and appreciation for the world around us. Narrate your life: bath-time, changing table time, bedtime. Tie balloons to float above the changing table, change what's hanging on the mobile over the crib every so often.

Go lots of interesting places.

Go to the library and get beautiful picture books and fun stories with lots of rhyme and fun nonsense words like Dr Seuss was so great at producing. Start reading children's poetry at an early age.

Buy board books that baby can chew on when they're not actually being read to them. Interactive books with textures, sound effects, and flap books are wonderful!

When you go for walks, notice the tiny wildflowers and pick them and study them.

Go on a walk where you stop and listen for birds and then try to spot them in the trees.

As your baby turns into a toddler let them be messy and explore. Play with mud and clay and sand and finger-paint. Play dress up with mom and dad's cast-offs and thrift store finds. Make cookies together. Build and play make believe with Duplos and blocks.

Subscribe to children/family magazines and actually do the crafts and activities they describe, at least one a month. This can usually be done rather cheaply, if you choose you activity/craft wisely.

Ranger Rick is a good one for preschools. Family Fun magazine has a lot of tips too. If you can't afford to subscribe, check them out on your weekly library run.

Welcome to a lifetime of learning!



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>



Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.5 ANSI