Guarding your heart. (Full Version)

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StephenJ -> Guarding your heart. (6/28/2008 3:11:24 AM)

I hear this term thrown around alot in Christian Singles circles. I've always been kind of suspicious when people say that they're guarding their hearts because sometimes I kind of interpret it as a (somewhat cowardly way) of hiding a fear of getting close to someone.

I don't mean to offend anyone but I am curious what does the term mean to you, and why is it so important in pursuing or not pursuing dating relationships.



slushie -> RE: Guarding your heart. (6/28/2008 7:14:33 AM)

It means to not go too far too fast. As to what that means, there has to be certain boundaries in a relationship - either in a friendly relationship between members of the opposite sex, or in a dating relationship between members of the opposite sex who are not married.

I don't think it means hiding in fear. It just means to be careful not to cross those boundaries.



manda59 -> RE: Guarding your heart. (6/28/2008 10:00:33 AM)

I've said it to my son (18yo) to mean not to be too hasty in giving his heart to someone just because he feels attracted to them, but to take time to pray, to wait on God, to watch this person's life and examine their values. Sometimes men (not just men, I hasten to add) have this "ding! she's so wonderful! she makes me feel like a million dollars! woo hoo" type of reaction and it can be tempting to be instantly besotted, rather than to take time to watch and pray and look beneath the surface.



makarizo -> RE: Guarding your heart. (6/28/2008 10:41:46 AM)

When I hear someone use that phrase, I always think about Samson. -

Jdg 16:17 Then he told her all his heart, and said to her, "I never had a haircut; for I have been a Nazarite unto God from my mother's womb: if I get a haircut, then my strength will go from me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man.

and I think in the (ultra) simplest context of Proverbs 4:23 (that is the verse... right?) it means "don't be stupid"



deermousie -> RE: Guarding your heart. (6/28/2008 1:45:45 PM)

I think that guarding your heart means to not give it away before it's time to (which I think is when God shows you "the one" and you are ready to pursue them).

It helps if every guy treats single gals like his sisters and every gal treats single guys like her brothers. This avoids getting emotionally or physically involved; our culture glorifies fantasy (I think we gals are prone to this) and casual sex (which many pulpits in America are not preaching against, so I'll say it: God says to not have sex outside of marriage. Look up "fornication" and "sexual immorality" on www.biblegateway.com to check how strongly God puts this).

HTH



ChoirDJ -> RE: Guarding your heart. (6/28/2008 2:01:32 PM)

For me "guarding your heart" means to not put myself in situations where I will be tempted to sin sexually or in any other way and that line may be different for each person. I don't watch Rated R movies with sexual content in them, I try to avoid websites where I know there will be some form of temptation but that's difficult to do. I go to YouTube alot for ministry-related stuff but there's always something there that could be a stumbling block. I think it also involves being careful of what types of things you discuss with the opposite sex.



breaking_stagnancy -> RE: Guarding your heart. (6/28/2008 8:12:15 PM)

"Guarding your heart" is a stage in a persons life when the road between faith and relationships collide for the first time. It's protecting the heart from unknown territory. A guarded heart is one that is proceeding with caution to test the waters before jumping in. This method is used to test the strength of the person's will power to make sure the spirit retains control over the body. However, many people confuse protection with avoidance. If the phrase is used for reasons of avoidance, such as to avoid relationships or to invoke a break up, then the person is misusing the phrase. Instead of guarding their heart, they are locking it up in a box that no one can touch. If this is the case, then they are not guarding it from life and love, they are preventing it from ever living or loving.



stampinlady -> RE: Guarding your heart. (6/28/2008 8:58:56 PM)

quote:

It's protecting the heart from unknown territory. A guarded heart is one that is proceeding with caution to test the waters before jumping in.


Excellent explination.



Liveloved -> RE: Guarding your heart. (6/29/2008 12:18:41 AM)

Maybe I'm wrong (?!?!?) but I haven't ever connected 'guarding your heart' with the type of relationship situations others are describing. Perhaps it is because I've been married a looooooooooooong time so that isn't a particularly relevant application in my case.

But I always thought 'guarding your heart' had to do with what we give our heart to rather than a person. In other words, I'm not to give my heart to my fleshly lusts such as food, desire for clothes, antiques, sports equipment, recreation, pleasure seeking, books, reading, study, career advancement, etc, etc, etc. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

And I agree that 'guarding your heart' in terms of relationships does sound like something borne out of fear. That is not to say we are not to be wise in terms of our relationships. But I'm wondering if we're using or misusing a biblical phrase? Or am I goofy?



slushie -> RE: Guarding your heart. (6/29/2008 7:32:16 PM)

Well, LiveLoved you have a good point there. But perhaps both viewpoints are right?? It is true that the heart is the "wellspring of life".

Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
Proverbs 4:23

I agree that it can be what we give our heart to, like getting involved in other things and pushing God in the sidelines. But I find this especially true in relationships - where we might have the temptation to push too far too fast and give our hearts to the wrong person as a result. Like someone said, forging ahead into unknown territory without thinking or even praying about it. In that case, things get really messed up... things get really complicated... etc. And we end up having other stuff flowing in and contaminating that "spring".

I agree with you in that it could be WHAT we give our hearts TO, rather than a person. But it is very much applicable in relationships as well.



jaimestarcross -> RE: Guarding your heart. (6/29/2008 11:25:21 PM)

To me it means:

Being aware of the films we watch, the books we read,the people we get close to, even the conversations/music we listen to – and stop all that would pollute from entering in. It is a good thing to do a reality check from time to time to see that our standards have not steadily lowered to accommodate the ever-declining society in which we live.



azroadrunner -> RE: Guarding your heart. (6/30/2008 8:27:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slushie

Well, LiveLoved you have a good point there. But perhaps both viewpoints are right?? It is true that the heart is the "wellspring of life".

Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
Proverbs 4:23

I agree that it can be what we give our heart to, like getting involved in other things and pushing God in the sidelines. But I find this especially true in relationships - where we might have the temptation to push too far too fast and give our hearts to the wrong person as a result. Like someone said, forging ahead into unknown territory without thinking or even praying about it. In that case, things get really messed up... things get really complicated... etc. And we end up having other stuff flowing in and contaminating that "spring".

I agree with you in that it could be WHAT we give our hearts TO, rather than a person. But it is very much applicable in relationships as well.


I totally agree with you, Liveloved. In fact, here is a really good article about what it means to guard your heart.



preserved -> RE: Guarding your heart. (7/2/2008 8:21:50 AM)

Guarding you heart...mean not allowing anyone or anything to hurt you...Lean not unto your own understanding...but in all thy ways acknowledge God and He will direct thy path. As the Lord speaks to your heart you are being guided...The heart is the inner soul of you... Your head will tell you one thing...but your heart will speak of another...



azroadrunner -> RE: Guarding your heart. (7/3/2008 11:41:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Liveloved

Maybe I'm wrong (?!?!?) but I haven't ever connected 'guarding your heart' with the type of relationship situations others are describing. Perhaps it is because I've been married a looooooooooooong time so that isn't a particularly relevant application in my case.

But I always thought 'guarding your heart' had to do with what we give our heart to rather than a person. In other words, I'm not to give my heart to my fleshly lusts such as food, desire for clothes, antiques, sports equipment, recreation, pleasure seeking, books, reading, study, career advancement, etc, etc, etc. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

And I agree that 'guarding your heart' in terms of relationships does sound like something borne out of fear. That is not to say we are not to be wise in terms of our relationships. But I'm wondering if we're using or misusing a biblical phrase? Or am I goofy?


Oops. This was the one I meant to quote. My apologies.



lightshineon -> RE: Guarding your heart. (7/3/2008 12:26:49 PM)

I have thought of this scripture all morning, funny is showed up here. One of my thoughts is gaurding your hearts from things that make you unfit to worship God. For exzample, if in a unhealthy church, or relationship, or situation get away from it, if reconcilation is not possible at this time. Paul and Barnabas (sp) parted ways, when they had a dispute about John Mark. If we do not take Biblical mandates, then bitterness, ill speaking, hatered, ............, all described in matthew. If we do not gaurd it, then we get heart worms. Just one thought I had.



Bridgitt -> RE: Guarding your heart. (7/3/2008 6:54:37 PM)

IMO "guard your heart" means: be careful/act wisely.



jn1010lf -> RE: Guarding your heart. (7/4/2008 9:18:36 PM)

Hello StephenJ

Since you added dating relationships, let me ask you. "What do you believe regarding who Jesus Christ is." Let's say that you sincerely believe that He is the only way to God, then it would be foolish for you to date anyone that believes otherwise.

What about premarital sex? If you abstain from it, you would challenge your beliefs if you dated someone that does what feels good.

There are other factor as well. What do you listen too and watch on TV? What kinds of books do you read? For instance, I found a book that had an interesting title, so I checked it out. Cursery examination revealed that the author used several words that one would never use in church. Guess what. I will never read it.

So that's guarding your heart.



ebony101 -> RE: Guarding your heart. (7/5/2008 4:30:28 AM)

quote:

It's protecting the heart from unknown territory. A guarded heart is one that is proceeding with caution to test the waters before jumping in.






Well said.



beachcooky -> RE: Guarding your heart. (7/18/2008 6:10:06 PM)

Well, I already have mega trust issues. Even with family members. I don't tell ANYONE anything. I keep everything hidden.

So maybe I'm a coward, since I do guard my heart. No one truly knows me. And to tell you the truth, I like it that way.

I've been doing it since the age of 15 and now 19. So four years and I've been doing pretty good at it. It's actually ended few relationships. It sucks, but oh well. I'm not going to change until I'm ready.

So I guard my heart to keep people at a distance. I taught it to myself--and it was mostly my family who did it to me, making me have mega trust issues with everrryone.



preserved -> RE: Guarding your heart. (7/18/2008 6:21:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beachcooky

Well, I already have mega trust issues. Even with family members. I don't tell ANYONE anything. I keep everything hidden.

So maybe I'm a coward, since I do guard my heart. No one truly knows me. And to tell you the truth, I like it that way.

I've been doing it since the age of 15 and now 19. So four years and I've been doing pretty good at it. It's actually ended few relationships. It sucks, but oh well. I'm not going to change until I'm ready.

So I guard my heart to keep people at a distance. I taught it to myself--and it was mostly my family who did it to me, making me have mega trust issues with everrryone.


hmmm.."I'm not going to change until I'm ready"....All I can ask is what God is ruling your heart?



ebony101 -> RE: Guarding your heart. (7/19/2008 7:13:08 PM)

quote:


ORIGINAL: preserved:
hmmm.."I'm not going to change until I'm ready"....All I can ask is what God is ruling your heart?


Now, let's not be hasty. As I always say circumstances - that's what dictates everyone's actions. I understand where beachcooky is coming from.

Having just exited a heart-wrenching relationship, I can only say that the next relationship that I enter I will be guarding my heart very carefully. (It's been bruised and battered & I don't usually give it up easily in the first place). And as I stated in the Courting thread. I will be asking lots of questions, and if I can get a character reference or two [;)] on the guy - I'll be taking them. [8|]



beachcooky -> RE: Guarding your heart. (7/20/2008 12:04:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ebony101

quote:


ORIGINAL: preserved:
hmmm.."I'm not going to change until I'm ready"....All I can ask is what God is ruling your heart?


Now, let's not be hasty. As I always say circumstances - that's what dictates everyone's actions. I understand where beachcooky is coming from.

Having just exited a heart-wrenching relationship, I can only say that the next relationship that I enter I will be guarding my heart very carefully. (It's been bruised and battered & I don't usually give it up easily in the first place). And as I stated in the Courting thread. I will be asking lots of questions, and if I can get a character reference or two [;)] on the guy - I'll be taking them. [8|]


Thank you, ebony! And besides, I let the Lord Jesus Christ rule my life.
I've come a LONG way, let me tell you.



beachcooky -> RE: Guarding your heart. (7/20/2008 12:06:44 AM)

And I wish I didn't guard my heart--but there have been numerous people hurting me. Especially family. God's still helping me. It's a process.



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