RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/2/2008 10:49:11 AM
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KatMack
Posts: 1038
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Along the Canopy Roads
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(((((Erin))))) I know the feeling. You keep loving him and being happy. That is what the Lord has called us to. Remember you can come here and vent to us anytime you need to. Even though our husbands may not be believers, they are the men that our good Lord chose for us. We are blessed to have them!
--Kat
_____________________________
<-- My sweet blessings.
"God will do what God will do. What I'm responsible for is to believe he's all he says he is and obey what he tells me to do. " -magdaleine
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/2/2008 11:24:35 AM
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MamaMilty
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((((Erin)))))I wise Godly woman once told me, "Only you can read the mail God puts in your mailbox." If you feel God told you to marry, He did. It's a tricky thing, this Christian life. So very often, well meaning folks are running ahead of the Spirit in thought, word & deed. Loving each other perfectly can only be accomplished by Jesus. Can you imagine what a different place this world would be if we Christians only spoke what the Spirit truly told us to speak?! I wish I could do it!
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Jen
My very 1st ever blog!
http://secondhandtreasure-mamamilty.blogspot.com/
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/2/2008 11:44:00 AM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2957
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
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(((((Erin)))))) I kinda know how you feel. I get that from people at my church when I tell them my story. I was a very new Christian when I got married, and I didn't find out it says in the Bible that we aren't supposed to marry unbelievers until a few DAYS before our wedding, and I did it anyway.
I listened to the Thriving in a Spiritually Divided Home on the Focus on the Family. I really liked the woman's story. She wrote a book called "The Spiritually Single Mom", and I'm thinking of looking for it at the library.
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-Stina
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/2/2008 12:42:59 PM
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KatMack
Posts: 1038
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Along the Canopy Roads
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I LOVE that book! The Stroeble's story has blessed me and helped me many times. I'm going to have to hunt down the Spritually Single Mom one now.
--Kat
_____________________________
<-- My sweet blessings.
"God will do what God will do. What I'm responsible for is to believe he's all he says he is and obey what he tells me to do. " -magdaleine
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/2/2008 12:45:10 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 9548
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Erin....in my experience (and you know I have been there) I had to examine some things. I had to first of all find out exactly what God told me to do. In my case, God told me that i WOULD marry the man He had put me with, however, He never said I would marry him with him being unsaved. God knew that when we were engaged Paul would get saved....and He also knew that it was something I would NOT compromise on. I know that I know that I know that God told me to get engaged to him though. God never told me to walk the isle with someone who was unsaved though. I think that's where the biggest thing is. What exactly did God tell you to do? Do you KNOW that you KNOW that you KNOW that God told you to walk that isle? If so, then forget about what others say. God's ways are above our ways...and we can not fully appreciate or understand the things God has us do. I mean...think about it....God stretches 90% of our money further then 100% will go....how odd is that. If He can do that with money, how much more can He do with people!!!! I will say however, that it really doesn't matter what you have chosen to do in the past...cause it's the past. You can't go back to not being married, even if it was a mistake. You have to live with the here and now and what you have made decisions about already. You ARE married...doesn't matter how it ended up coming about, you ARE now, and you are committed to that marriage covenant no matter what. So don't let what someone says be a downer on your moods. Could they be right? possibly....but they aren't God. No one can cause condemnation on you....however you can allow that on yourself. Not saying that this is the case with you, but I have found that when I feel the way you do about something it's because I didn't know that I know that I know that God was telling me to do something...I did it on my own...so later on I didn't have that knowledge that it was God leading. It could have been God leading, but it wasn't a deep down feeling of my KNOWING that He was leading it. KWIM? Are you struggling with that? After talking with you about this for years now, I have a feeling that's where you lie in all of this. You can't keep looking at the past though. It really doesn't matter how you came about walking down that isle...the point now is that you have. So if it was a sin for you to do so, then ask forgiveness of God and go on with things NOW. It seems like a lot of what you are feeling (and not just what you have posted here today, but also what you have told me in the past) is yourself being hard on YOU for things that you weren't 100% sure on, so now you are questioning. It isn't your place or others places to question your past.....live in the here and now. NOW your whole purpose is in praying for your husband to get saved. He is a good man, yes...but unfortunately good men go to hell too...and the difference is a personal one on one relationship with Christ. I pray that for Klay nearly every day...and I know you do too. Luckily for him though, he has you to see the witness in every day...he does cross the doors into church...and he does hear the things he needs to hear (and see) that are drawing him to Christ. The Bible says that the Holy Spirit draws men to God...and that's what God is using right now in his life....he is drawing Klay in...slowly but surely. Just like an expert fisherman. Have you ever watched that sport on tv? It amazes me sometimes how patient they are to get that big catch. I wouldn't be as patient (and it seems like you are antsy sometimes too)...but it isn't our jobs to draw him in, it's God's job...and He is. Klay may not have swallowed everything hook and line yet...but God is patient enough to wait...and keep watching for the right signs that he is ready. When that time comes, watch out...be prayed up...cause the man you know now is going to be a totally different person!!! You think he is a good man now...just wait!!!! Morals are good, but if there is nothing to base morality on then it can be corrupted pretty easily (not that it HAS to be, but it CAN be). Once he has the basis for morality that you now have, things will continue to get better...and better...and better. I have seen my husband grow in that over the last ten years. Ten years ago Easter sunday Paul got saved...and even though he was a good man before that, he had to find that basis for his own morality in Christ. It took a few years also for him to come to that point...it isn't instantaneous. It's a growing process...just like a baby has to grow, so does a spiritual baby. God can work miracles where we allow Him to though...and I have a feeling He is just waiting there like that patient fisherman waiting on the right line for Klay to grab onto with such force that he can't get away from it. The fisherman doesn't wait just for a nibble...he waits til the fish is REALLY latched on. Right now Klay is nibbling...but one day, he will grab on...and when he does, God will reel him in.
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Proud to be...  
Be alert - the world needs more lerts.
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/2/2008 6:52:49 PM
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lilyofthefield
Posts: 1124
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: NC, USA
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Erin, I totally get it! 
In my case, I had been back-slidden for a few years and in a really unhealthy relationship. God was bringing me back to Him and helped to let go of the relationship I was in. That's when hubby stepped in and seemed like a knight in shining armour (I guess that's why they call it the "rebound" LOL). Anyway, I was only just getting back into my relationship with God at the time and felt it was good enough that DH said he was a Christian, went to church with me at the time, and even to Christian pre-marital counseling. Unfortunately, that all went away as soon as we said, "I do." He even told me he only did those things because he knew I probably wouldn't have married him otherwise. 
Anyway, as you and Sarah have so wisely pointed out - it doesn't really matter how or why. What's important now is loving my husband, and I do struggle with that sometimes. I think it is wonderful that you love your husband so much and enjoy being with him. That is a wonderful gift in the midst of your "mismatch".  I am trying to learn to do the same thing.
_____________________________
Caden is here!
A boy is Truth with dirt on its face, Beauty with a cut on its finger, Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket. - Alan Beck
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/2/2008 7:37:26 PM
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nicole6598
Posts: 4074
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
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I will second what Sarah said Erin, it is noone else's business but yours and God about you and Klay. Don't let people's judgement get to you, none of us should be judging one another on our choices, at the end of the day its only you and God, these other people won't be there. So take it to God and if there was something you didn't do right He will reveal it to you, but make God your judge, not other people.
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Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/2/2008 8:38:18 PM
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BrowneyedAL
Posts: 558
Joined: 2/26/2008
From: North Alabama
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Sarah ~ to the first of your 3 above posts...all I can say is WOW...Thank You...you may have thought you were just talking to Erin...but she wasn't the only one listening...thanks.
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Lisa
I have learned in whatever state I am to be content (Philippians 4:11)
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/2/2008 9:54:17 PM
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crm4souls
Posts: 133
Joined: 4/1/2008
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Some powerful stories....God is good!
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"Beloved I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in HEALTH just as your soul prospers." 3 John 2 www.Power3Diet.com
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/3/2008 11:51:24 AM
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lilyofthefield
Posts: 1124
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: NC, USA
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I agree. I am so grateful for the encouragement here in this thread too.
Sarah, I love the advice about taking the good and lining it up with God's word - just throw out the rest. AMEN to that!
While dh and I still have a long way to go (him in his relationship with God, me in my patience and humility)... I do have to say that I have grown more in my relationship with God because of the trials in my marriage than I ever could have had life just been easy! I wouldn't trade that for the world.
_____________________________
Caden is here!
A boy is Truth with dirt on its face, Beauty with a cut on its finger, Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket. - Alan Beck
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/4/2008 2:02:40 PM
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Hap2bHis
Posts: 6
Joined: 4/3/2008
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Hi Girls,
I was so glad to find this thread.
I have been married for 25 years and am still praying that God gives my husband a desire to truly know Him.
When we got married we weren't believers but after our marriage deteriorated and I had an affair, we realized we needed God in our lives if we were ever going to put the marriage back together. We committed our lives to Jesus and starting attending a really good church. God helped us so much through a very rough time. My husband seemed be growing into the spiritual leader I always wanted.
But after a cross country move to a new job, he got discouraged when we couldn't find a suitable church home and then started to drift back to the old lifestyle ( drinking, pornography). Because it was so hard going it alone ( my excuse) I stopped going and slipped back into party mode.
But I never was happy there for long and would drag my prodigal body back to the Father again and again.
I am happy to say, that now,I know without a doubt that I am only truly happy when at home with God. He has been faithful to me and is my first priority. I wouldn't trade it for anything. But I have noticed the closer I draw to God the more aware I am of sin in my life and others. This makes it hard for me in the marriage because anytime he says a foul word or makes a crude sexual remark it really gets under my skin. It is hard for me to treat him with respect and love because of his choices.
But I know that I have to keep focused on my relationship with God and He will give me the strength I need.
It sure is nice to have this forum and y'all to talk with too. PTL
Darlene
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/7/2008 4:26:08 PM
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MamaMilty
Posts: 1515
Joined: 10/18/2007
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Hey Darlene! I'm go glad you found us, too! I usually don't take so long respond, I had family visiting for a long weekend and was offline since the 4th. I've added you to my prayer journal, and I'm sure the other girls will too. If you want to give us your hubby's name, we can add him by name, too.
Thank-you for sharing your story, I know all of our experiences will serve as encouragement and instruction to others. It is so comforting to serve a faithful God! Everyday is a new day! Glory to God!
Do you have children? I was amazed at the witness my 5 year old was to my husband's family this weekend...
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Jen
My very 1st ever blog!
http://secondhandtreasure-mamamilty.blogspot.com/
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/7/2008 8:52:46 PM
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BrowneyedAL
Posts: 558
Joined: 2/26/2008
From: North Alabama
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Welcome Darlene...I'll add you to my prayer list of the couples represented in this thread. Ask God for help with your expectations...remember that one of the best witnesses that you can have is your own behavior. God loves us unconditionally despite our faults and sinful behaviors...and he calls us to love others. So the next time he does something that 'gets under your skin' stop and pray for him and you...and remind yourself to hate the sin but love the sinner.
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Lisa
I have learned in whatever state I am to be content (Philippians 4:11)
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/16/2008 3:57:09 PM
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BrowneyedAL
Posts: 558
Joined: 2/26/2008
From: North Alabama
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Not to share too much about information that isn't really intended to be public, today in relation to a totally seperate discussion, I had to say a lot about trusting God/prayer/finding peace and fulfillment in Him...simply because I couldn't discuss the other issues without it because they are very linked for me. I'm praying that it was taken in a positive way and has a positive rather than a negative impact. I'd appreciate a prayer or two for both that and the original topic (Even though I didn't tell you what it was...God knows...and He knows that all that is needed is for His will to be done in this and all situations!) Thanks Ladies 
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Lisa
I have learned in whatever state I am to be content (Philippians 4:11)
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/16/2008 4:28:05 PM
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lilyofthefield
Posts: 1124
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: NC, USA
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Lisa, praying that God works in whatever your situation is.
_____________________________
Caden is here!
A boy is Truth with dirt on its face, Beauty with a cut on its finger, Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket. - Alan Beck
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/17/2008 3:12:16 PM
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BrowneyedAL
Posts: 558
Joined: 2/26/2008
From: North Alabama
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thanks Lily...I KNOW that He's working in the situation...because He always is...and I appreciate your prayers!
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Lisa
I have learned in whatever state I am to be content (Philippians 4:11)
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RE: Surviving our Spiritual Mismatch Encouragement Thread - 4/18/2008 7:17:41 PM
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frazzledmom
Posts: 174
Joined: 7/4/2007
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Hey Ladies,
My husband is a believer, but pretty much a Sunday-morning only type. He rarely reads his Bible during the week and we rarely pray together. God is taking me deeper and drawing me in so much closer than I've ever been. Sometimes it feels like there is a chasm between my husband and I-he's content with where he's at. I want more, I want to go deep. Part of the issue is his struggle with ADD-habit forming, like Bible reading-is a constant uphill battle and rarely stays in place.
I'm glad this thread is here.
Love to all
Frazzledmom
_____________________________
I hear, I forget.
I see, I remember.
I do, I understand.
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