usa777
Posts: 49
Joined: 8/12/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GrowinBaptist You are right, usa777, when you say that some people only put a half-hearted effort into finding someone. However, there is a distinction between a half-hearted effort and leaving it in the Lord's hands. The Lord didn't put the desire to be married in you for no reason. But He is more interested in seeing if you are going to trust HIM first with your future...every aspect of it...before He'll give you a spouse. If you are not content single, then you will not be content married. And this is something I'm working on myself at the moment, although I really haven't fussed too terribly much about not being married. I've mentioned a book on here before...you may not have seen it. It's called Lady In Waiting: Becoming God's Best While Waiting for Mr. Right (I can't remember the authors' names). Several of the single ladies in my Sunday School class...including some who have no intention of ever gettting married...are involved in our study of this book. I can't tell you how much of a difference it made in my own outlook...basically saw that I had everything backwards! I need to be spending my time working for the Lord...not whining because I am not married when I would really like to be. And do you know what? The more time you give for Him, the more you do for Him, the more the fears start vanishing. The more you'll see that living for the Lord and preparing yourself for your true Bridgegroom (the Lord!) is what matters. I understand your frustration with the worldly motives of men (and women!) these days, even within the church in regards to finding a mate. But good, Godly men ARE out there...I personally know of a few right in my own Sunday School class. Don't give up quite yet...see what YOU can do for the Lord instead of worrying about how other people are choosing mates these days. I highly suggest reading this book...it will tell you the great secret to true contentment in singleness...surrendering it all to Him once and for all, even if you have to start over and over again. I know what you're saying, and lots of it makes sense. However, I respectfully disagree with the notion that God is seeing whether I'll trust Him before He gives me a spouse. It sounds too much to me like the, "When you get your spiritual act together, then God will send your spouse along" reasoning. This would mean that married people are married because they somehow are better Christians than singles. I don't think marriage is a reward for attaining a certain spiritual goal. Lots of messed up Christians get married! As far as doing things for the Lord, I am limited by a chronic illness which greatly affects my energy. If I work even 5 - 9 pm, I'm lucky if I can get up by 11:00 am and get even part of one bathroom cleaned before I go to work. I have to take so much time to rest that it's hard to feel useful sometimes. Either my brain is so tired (I have a brain injury) from work that all I can do is something mindless, like chill in front of the TV and only half pay attention, or if I feel good enough, I need to get cleaning the house since I'm always behind on that. Further complicating things is that my work schedule is different every week. I was considering becoming a big sister, but don't see how I can promise even 3 hours with my lil' sis every week. I'm sad sometimes because I feel my ability to minister would actually be much better with a life partner. That way I wouldn't be so distracted with working as many hours as possible (this is why my illness doesn't improve), tending to everything myself around the house, etc. I may not have the energy on my own to do a ministry, but I do have the energy to give a husband lots of love, assistance, and emotional support! (And some financial support - but not this constant pushing to my limit.) To me, that would be the greatest joy and challenge of marriage - to constantly put Christ first and my husband second. I would love to love and serve a Godly man! That's my thinking... guess God doesn't agree
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