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RE: Single Forever?

 
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RE: Single Forever? - 8/14/2008 1:11:59 PM   
gaylel1


Posts: 1253
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From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
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quote:

ORIGINAL: usa777

OK, since I'm new here... anyone know why my entire last post came out as a quote? I put quotations around what John said, so at least it's still clear, but I'd like to do it the right way!

While I'm on... let me add that Proverbs 31 states that beauty is fleeting. Men are warned of this several times in the Word, as well as the fact that charm is deceitful. Christian men need to take this to heart and not be deceived by going after beauty only.

I don't think any of us women would say looks have nothing to do with it, would we ladies?


Thank you, you took the words out of my mouth...



_____________________________

Hear "The Truth" with the "other"l Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)

Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
Post #: 51
RE: Single Forever? - 8/14/2008 2:14:27 PM   
John_O

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: usa777
My point is that I've heard several men claim they are not very attracted to any woman in their church, because they think the godly women are not as attractive (read: sexy) as the worldly women they see at the gym who place great importance on their bodies.


Did they say the first part ("they are not very attracted to any woman in their church" and not the second part ("because they think the godly women are nt as attractive (read sexy) ...)? In which case you are impuning motives to them that may not be theirs. Or did they say the entire thing (And why would any man make such a statement to any women lest he had fireproof clothes on!). If they said the whole thing then obviously they are not fit for a Christian woman to date anyway and you can write them off.

quote:

I do think there is something wrong with placing such importance on what the media shows that a man finds he is unable to get excited about a woman who does not look like a model.


No one said anything about models. A man will be attracted to the type of woman he is attracted to. Would you suggest that men seek out women that they find ugly? (Apparently that worked for Harry Belafonte. Or at least he sang about it. I'd youtube it but it's blocked here.)

M and I were married for 18 years, and she was always beautiful in my eyes (and yes her looks did change)

quote:

I don't see where every man is attracted to different types of women... the vast majority seem to be attracted to women who are in their 20's, around 100 lbs and flaunt themselves.


I know guys who like short women, tall women, skinny women and fat women. I guess you must not be looking at all the guys out there.

quote:

If men want a complete woman, then perhaps they should come up with some other complaint about godly women besides, "They don't take care of themselves" - meaning physically. First of all, that's not true. Not every Christian woman is 300 lbs.


No one said they were. I know plenty of Christian women who take very good care of themselves.

quote:

Secondly, it would be refreshing to hear other things such as concerns about a woman's spiritual nature. But it seems the physical is the only thing that men complain about.


If her spiritual nature is in question then it's obvious that a good Christian man wouldn't be dating her. Since he looks at only those of good spiritual reputation what's the next thing he sees? The physical. Would you have him intentionally pursue someone who he can never tell honestly "You're beautiful". That just seems cruel to me to both of them.

quote:

All you have to do is stroll through any art museum to see that our version of beauty is not what God intended.


Back in the 1600s (classical periods that is) the standard for beauty was a bit heavier than now. That does not say those women were in better physical condition. They were just heavier. (And to be truthful our natural condition is light and slim. When we eat right and get enough exercise most of us stay in good shape)

quote:

It's our perverted culture that says women have to be extremely thin and strut around like a prostitute in order to be noticed!


Again, I never said extremely thin and certainly never said that anyone needs to be a prostitute.

quote:

I don't buy the "I'm a man; I'm visual" excuse because I think men have a choice. They can choose to see beauty in the "girl next door" type rather than only seeing beauty in swimsuit models.


I am visual and I do prefer the girl next door type. As long as they are in good shape. Innocence is very attractive.

quote:

I don't expect a man to be attractive to me in every way.


Wonderful.

quote:

I'd much rather have an average-looking husband who is humble than one who thinks he's God's gift to women.


Someone can be exceedingly good looking and still be humble. Looks do not determine character.

quote:

He doesn't have to look perfect, be a perfect Christian, or not have any habits that irritate me. Imperfection is part of life, and I embrace it.


Again, wonderful.

quote:

I maintain my assertion that many men (and women) are expecting too much, and this is why they stay single.


Why would it be wrong to want someone who is perfect for you? Or at least a very close fit?

quote:

If they can't have a carbon copy of themselves, they'd rather be alone.

A carbon copy of me would be too scary to contemplate. But I would rather be alone than settle for someone who was not a good fit for me. Marrying the wrong one is far, far, worse than not marrying at all. Again I see nothing wrong with that.

_____________________________

Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
Post #: 52
RE: Single Forever? - 8/14/2008 2:28:17 PM   
mutinywxgirl


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From: west coast of FL
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I'm sure I'm the one who will be flamed here, but I have to say that I agree with John - in that I must be attracted to my future spouse. I know plenty of amazingly godly men who are very handsome in their own right, but, they are not attractive to *ME*. Why would I ever consider marrying them? I also know a few very godly men who are attractive to me, but for whatever reason, they are not attracted to me. Their loss.

Men are visual. Women are visual. We're just *visual* in different ways. We *see* different things. Men see physical beauty *to them* and women tend to see spiritual beauty *to them*.

Ladies - tell me that when you're looking at a bunch of photos - you don't stop on the ones you find attractive *to you*? I know that I sure do - I'll be more than happy to admire God's handiwork! So there, I admit, I AM visual - I want to be attracted to my mate.

Thing is - for me - I've had my chances, and I don't really forsee many more coming along. If/when they do, you better believe that they are going to be someone attractive *to me*.

Relating to the OP - I do think I'll remain single, but that's because I don't think anyone can keep up with me.

_____________________________

When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.


Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
Post #: 53
RE: Single Forever? - 8/14/2008 2:29:20 PM   
John_O

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gaylel1
You know John, this where you and I differ here and call it a generalization if you want, but marriages do not last not because of looks, but the commitment of both. It is about standing by your wife no matter what if she beautiful, and not because she your wife "of your youth" because she gained a few pounds or get disfigured because of an accident.


My marriage lasted because I loved M. She was 5'2" and 125lbs when we met and topped out at (lets just say well over 200). We had a very painful miscarriage (the baby died at 4 months but the pregnancy did not end) which destroyed our love life for about 10 years. She went through periods of having up to 20 seizures a day. (for about 2 years we lived in hell) She underwent surgery requiring the loss of all her hair (and you all know how much I like long hair). Finally she suffered 2 years of mental illness that took her away from me even before God finally took her home (as a mercy to her).

I have stood by my wife through thick and thin. I was by her side for every surgery, every hospital visit, every time she needed me day or night. She was always beautiful to me, even when her outsides were no longer attractive to me. She was my wife and I loved her.

So don't be lecturing me about standing by my wife.



quote:

You see, you got it all wrong here.

I'm not trying to aim this at you, but quite of few of our Christian brothers and sisters thinking they want so much "perfection" instead of judging the charater of the indvisual, which btw, the word also says that "beauty will fade" --we can put on clothes, and do everything to enhance ourselves, including myself, but the realization that the faces will not last forever.

People should be really atractive to is if the person is a godly person or not and not only physical attirbutes, which some are so hung up on. I'm sorry if I gotten off subject, and if anyone took offense, please accept my apologies.



My was beautiful to me through our entire marriage because she was beautiful to me when we got married. I could always see her beauty regardless of what life dealt us.

Why would I want a woman who I could not see as beautiful? Life is more than just the spiritual (when we are on this earth). God made us to be spirit, soul, and body and all three must enter into the equation. Again read Song of Solomon.

The character of an person is reflected in their person. (I'll refrain from going any further with this as I am not in the mood to be gentle)

(I forgive you but please stop generalizing that all men are scum just because they want a woman that looks good to them)

_____________________________

Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
Post #: 54
RE: Single Forever? - 8/14/2008 2:31:29 PM   
John_O

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: usa777
While I'm on... let me add that Proverbs 31 states that beauty is fleeting. Men are warned of this several times in the Word, as well as the fact that charm is deceitful. Christian men need to take this to heart and not be deceived by going after beauty only.


No one said beauty was permanent (although I know good Christian women in their 60's who are still stunning). And no one said anyone was going after beauty only.

quote:


I don't think any of us women would say looks have nothing to do with it, would we ladies?


Then why do you complain so much when a man wants someone who looks good to him?

_____________________________

Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
Post #: 55
RE: Single Forever? - 8/14/2008 2:55:31 PM   
mutinywxgirl


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< Message edited by mutinywxgirl -- 8/14/2008 10:06:03 PM >
Post #: 56
RE: Single Forever? - 8/14/2008 9:55:08 PM   
usa777

 

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Thank you, Mutiny. Most of the time I'm using Safari, but sometimes Internet Explorer.
Post #: 57
RE: Single Forever? - 8/14/2008 9:56:06 PM   
mutinywxgirl


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No problem!

_____________________________

When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.


Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
Post #: 58
RE: Single Forever? - 8/14/2008 9:56:38 PM   
mutinywxgirl


Posts: 12573
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline
never mind.

< Message edited by mutinywxgirl -- 8/14/2008 10:05:23 PM >


_____________________________

When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.


Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
Post #: 59
RE: Single Forever? - 8/14/2008 10:14:36 PM   
usa777

 

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Gosh, I had no idea this topic would turn into what it did! I don't know what to say, other than I certainly meant no offense. I tend to get down to the nitty-gritty of what I'm struggling with, whether it's pretty or not.

Perhaps we should get back to the original discussion of whether anyone might be struggling with the possibility of remaining single the rest of their lives, and forget about the reasons why they may come to that conclusion.

So - anyone have any resources perhaps or thoughts on how a single woman would approach things such as finances, etc. and other concerns regarding living the single life into her 50's and beyond? I'm thinking here of ways to connect with other single women in this age bracket, living arrangements (since I doubt I'll be able to keep my house throughout retirement), stuff like that? Thanks for any input.
Post #: 60
RE: Single Forever? - 8/14/2008 10:17:27 PM   
mutinywxgirl


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From: west coast of FL
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We actually have an entire forum on Finances - that's the best place to ask those kinds of questions - because you'll get responses from all sorts of people - not just singles.

But, you do bring up some good points - and it's stuff I've been thinking about too - living alone once my family is gone (they're elderly and terminal) within the next year or so. I love being single, however, at that point, I really will look into having a roommate or something.

_____________________________

When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.


Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
Post #: 61
RE: Single Forever? - 8/14/2008 10:35:41 PM   
usa777

 

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Thanks, Mutiny, I'll check that out.

Have to say though, that it is really hard to find help specifically directed at never-married, older women since there are not many of us. When I look at books on women's finances, for example, it's always stuff about your grown children, grandchildren, ex-husband, etc.

That's why I'm searching high and low for women in my situation who do not have expectations of ever getting married. It affects so many things. For example, since I finally admitted I'll probably never marry, it's made decisions around the house easier. I used to think like this: "Hmmm... my sump pumps need to be replaced. I only work part time, and I might meet someone in the next couple of years. I'll buy the cheaper ones." Now I don't think that way. I think: "I am single with no prospects. I like where I live. Therefore, I will buy something that will last, since I will continue to live here as long as I can."

Am I weird, or do other women think like this? Cuz I never hear anyone talk about it
Post #: 62
RE: Single Forever? - 8/14/2008 10:40:42 PM   
mutinywxgirl


Posts: 12573
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: usa777

Thanks, Mutiny, I'll check that out.

Have to say though, that it is really hard to find help specifically directed at never-married, older women since there are not many of us. When I look at books on women's finances, for example, it's always stuff about your grown children, grandchildren, ex-husband, etc.

That's why I'm searching high and low for women in my situation who do not have expectations of ever getting married. It affects so many things. For example, since I finally admitted I'll probably never marry, it's made decisions around the house easier. I used to think like this: "Hmmm... my sump pumps need to be replaced. I only work part time, and I might meet someone in the next couple of years. I'll buy the cheaper ones." Now I don't think that way. I think: "I am single with no prospects. I like where I live. Therefore, I will buy something that will last, since I will continue to live here as long as I can."

Am I weird, or do other women think like this? Cuz I never hear anyone talk about it


I understand what you're saying about the issues specific to older single women. The Finance section will just get you more responses than what you'll get in here, and from people who actually know what they're talking about (well, for the most part), even though they're not older single women. Hey, I'll take financial information from experts. I don't need to have someone in my shoes telling me how to make my money grow or other things - I want someone who can help.

No, you're not weird, at all. I think that way - all the time.

_____________________________

When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.


Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
Post #: 63
RE: Single Forever? - 8/15/2008 9:32:57 AM   
ShallbeRebuilt


Posts: 2104
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: online
quote:

ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: usa777

Thanks, Mutiny, I'll check that out.

Have to say though, that it is really hard to find help specifically directed at never-married, older women since there are not many of us. When I look at books on women's finances, for example, it's always stuff about your grown children, grandchildren, ex-husband, etc.

That's why I'm searching high and low for women in my situation who do not have expectations of ever getting married. It affects so many things. For example, since I finally admitted I'll probably never marry, it's made decisions around the house easier. I used to think like this: "Hmmm... my sump pumps need to be replaced. I only work part time, and I might meet someone in the next couple of years. I'll buy the cheaper ones." Now I don't think that way. I think: "I am single with no prospects. I like where I live. Therefore, I will buy something that will last, since I will continue to live here as long as I can."

Am I weird, or do other women think like this? Cuz I never hear anyone talk about it


I understand what you're saying about the issues specific to older single women. The Finance section will just get you more responses than what you'll get in here, and from people who actually know what they're talking about (well, for the most part), even though they're not older single women. Hey, I'll take financial information from experts. I don't need to have someone in my shoes telling me how to make my money grow or other things - I want someone who can help.

No, you're not weird, at all. I think that way - all the time.


The interesting thing is I can't find anyone who CAN help, Lisa. I've been to several "experts". In the end, they gave me the stock answers everybody gives, which were completely unhelpful to me. The only thing I can put it down to is that these people simply could not understand my position, my passion for and faith in Christ, and my goals.

So I perfectly understand, usa777, why you would be wanting to talk to singles: at least singles get closer to understanding the position. I am one of those who has children to consider (not exes, thank God) so while we will not have as much in common as perhaps you'd like, at least we have in common that the "financial experts" don't really understand our financial position or the types of decisions we have to make.

However, I would say this: as Christians, we are supposed to live in today. That means that we should never make decisions based on what might happen in the future, but based on our situation right now in faith. Therefore, buy the better sump pump. For one thing, it'll cost you less in the long run! If you have to sell the place, you can sell it for more because it has a better pump.

Luke 3:10-14 is often missed because directly after it follows John's extraordinary statement about Christ. But in it is a principle that we should all follow, single or not. Those who are being saved are asking John what they should do about their careers now that they are saved and want to walk in righteousness.

Interestingly, John does not tell these new disciples to completely change their lifestyles. Tax collectors and soldiers are to continue in their jobs, but to act righteously within them.

How does this bear on buying sump pumps? Exactly as I said before: the tax collectors and soldiers were encouraged to live righteously in the circumstances they were in for today.

They were also encouraged not to jump ship because of their new convictions: God is wise and knows that we need to grow before we are ready for newer and bigger assignments in the Kingdom.

God desires that people in every situation apply what they know about Christianity to their current situation...too often times we escape the world instead of staying in it to help preserve it.

In the end, usa777, while we should take into consideration principles that the financial experts lay out, especially the Christian experts, there's no way that those experts can judge our calling from God, our measure of faith, or our scriptural convictions that bear on our financial decisions. Numbers and general principles are all they have to work with.

Nor can other singles really help us, except by simply explaining their own decisions which might help us think of things in a different light.

We are on our own before the Lord to make these decisions. To me, that's a very frightening thought: I'd much rather have someone to go to so that if things go badly I can blame someone besides myself. I'm quite familiar with the feeling the Israelites had at Mount Horeb, when they sent Moses to talk with God because they didn't want the responsibility of talking to him themselves. But God gives us no real relief in this area: we must trust Him to lead us, and only Him.

The good news is we CAN trust Him. Things may not turn out nice and neat, but that won't be a surprise to Him. He's got that covered, too...we are free to pray, seek His leading, then decide. We can have all confidence that He will honor the fact that we were seeking Him in our decisions.

shallbe
Post #: 64
RE: Single Forever? - 8/15/2008 9:55:17 PM   
Onecontent

 

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usa777,

I started a thread in Finances requesting suggestions as to how to plan on being single into old age.

Planning to be single into old age.

I am content with my singleness but I admit that I am also a little scared about the future. God will provide but I think He expects me to be more prudent than I have been thus far.
Post #: 65
RE: Single Forever? - 8/16/2008 7:17:13 AM   
mutinywxgirl


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From: west coast of FL
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Thank you for the thread!!! I hope many of us subscribe to it - so we can stay current with the posts, AND take advantage of all that folks have to say.

_____________________________

When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.


Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
Post #: 66
RE: Single Forever? - 8/16/2008 10:41:49 AM   
Onecontent

 

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Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

I plan to be single forever... This is a forum for singles, but everyone seems to want a relationship. Understandable, but am I the only one that doesn't want a romantic relationship?
What do you think of someone staying single his/her whole life? - Yukamina


quote:

I maintain my assertion that many men (and women) are expecting too much, and this is why they stay single. - usa777


I heard a godly preacher say once that just because a criticism does not hit the bulls eye does not mean that it has not landed somewhere on the target. I usa777 is right that many people expect too much.

I work in an area where adults in certain cultures do not have the option of being single. At a given point their families decide that it is time for the child to get married and the family finds the spouse. It is not unusual for the potential spouses to meet each other shortly, i.e. a few days or weeks at most, before the wedding. Some people fly to their country to meet the bride and bring her back to the US.

And some of these spouses are found by putting ads in newspapers and journals! The family will place an ad to meet potential in-laws. They will negotiate and then inform the adult children as to when the marriage will take place. Other arranged marriages were made by families who knew each other when the children were infants or even in vitro. I should like to remind you that this is closer to what was happening in the Bible than what we have in western society today.

I would have thought that people in these types of marriages would be the ones coming to the hospital because of extreme marital problems. The exact opposite is true. The people from cultures where they can chose their spouses come to the hospital MUCH, MUCH more than those in arranged marriages. There are of course troubled arranged marriages as there are troubled marriages of choice.

My theory is that in many arranged marriages, the family knows their adult child and what said child needs as opposed to wants. They also have a more realistic perspective on what their child can offer and on their child’s strong points and faults. Because the parents have more life experience, they might know to discount some of the children’s expectations as unrealistic. They also have discernment born out that life experience.

I have noticed around here that for people in cultures where one can chose ones spouse, that women outside the church with the shorter skirts and plunging cleavages are more likely to be holding hands with a man. The young woman in church with modest attire is likely to be sitting alone.

Having written that, the young woman in church with the miniskirt and tight blouse is also likely to be alone.
Post #: 67
RE: Single Forever? - 8/16/2008 12:52:42 PM   
Prairiehiker


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I would love to share my life with someone who's happy to share his with mine. Nothing would make me happier. I thoroughly enjoy my life, not as a single person, but as a person who enjoys life in every situation. There's that deep desire within to share life with someone, and I'm not going to mask that just so I can appear pious or godly. I don't believe that God is happy with our masquerades, while the true feelings deep down is buried. He knows what we feel anyway. So while we can hide it from people, or from the internet friends, why would we try to hide it from God.

_____________________________

O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power through out the universe displayed

How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Post #: 68
RE: Single Forever? - 8/17/2008 8:40:31 AM   
ebony101


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quote:

ORIGINAL:Yukamina
I plan to be single forever... This is a forum for singles, but everyone seems to want a relationship. Understandable, but am I the only one that doesn't want a romantic relationship?
What do you think of someone staying single his/her whole life?


I'm answering this quite late in the thread, anyway, my plan is to be content with whatever state I am in life. I am currently single and enjoying it tremendously. If marriage comes then it does. I think that the key to the whole single thing is to be content, don't hold out waiting for marriage (within certain boundaries, of course). Right now I am doing things that may not be available to me, when I get married (I refuse to say if). In marriage there will be other persons to consider - I won't be able to jet off at a moments notice, stay in bed for an extra hour just because I want to, etc. there'll be kids and a husband to think of first.

Singleness in my church is a vocation, not all people are called to be married. Two very good examples of 'individudals called to the single life are Jesus and Paul. Quite a few of the original 12 disciples were also single.

I think that discontent arises when you compare your state in life with others, and in this respect I remember a line from the Desiderata " If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."

I was a happy single until my last relationship, which I did not go looking for .... but that's a whole story in itself. I'm still enjoying all the benefits of being single though .

That's my $1.00 worth (I've just decided that my words are worth more than 2cents, especially with inflation.)

_____________________________

'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
Post #: 69
RE: Single Forever? - 8/17/2008 1:21:08 PM   
coinpurse

 

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Im preparing for the single for life journey.
been single for 34 years of it already.

The only problem is every once in awhile(happens rarely), even from afar, I'll get to know a guy and think, WOW...I would not mind serving him for the rest of my life...He is so awesome and what an amazing human being! Some men just have a heart of gold and have that heart for serving people/God, you cant help but be fascinated at how exceptional they seem to be...and add to that they are attractive and their light shining really bright every time you pass em' by:)

Im learning how to view amazing men differently -NO, I do not have to think about them romantically. I can just appreciate their existence without imagining a wedding ring and baby cribs!

Single for life??? I can probably do it and be happy. Not what I truly want, but you might see me go back and forth on that subject...Im at that stage.
Post #: 70
RE: Single Forever? - 8/17/2008 1:48:11 PM   
coinpurse

 

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quote:

Relating to the OP - I do think I'll remain single, but that's because I don't think anyone can keep up with me.


Nice article from Christine Caine.

http://www.equipandempower.org/view_message.asp?utm_source=august2008newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=body&utm_campaign=august2008newsletter&inttype=2
Post #: 71
RE: Single Forever? - 8/17/2008 2:35:44 PM   
usa777

 

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quote:


The interesting thing is I can't find anyone who CAN help, Lisa. I've been to several "experts". In the end, they gave me the stock answers everybody gives, which were completely unhelpful to me. The only thing I can put it down to is that these people simply could not understand my position, my passion for and faith in Christ, and my goals.

So I perfectly understand, usa777, why you would be wanting to talk to singles: at least singles get closer to understanding the position. I am one of those who has children to consider (not exes, thank God) so while we will not have as much in common as perhaps you'd like, at least we have in common that the "financial experts" don't really understand our financial position or the types of decisions we have to make.

However, I would say this: as Christians, we are supposed to live in today. That means that we should never make decisions based on what might happen in the future, but based on our situation right now in faith. Therefore, buy the better sump pump. For one thing, it'll cost you less in the long run! If you have to sell the place, you can sell it for more because it has a better pump.

Luke 3:10-14 is often missed because directly after it follows John's extraordinary statement about Christ. But in it is a principle that we should all follow, single or not. Those who are being saved are asking John what they should do about their careers now that they are saved and want to walk in righteousness.

Interestingly, John does not tell these new disciples to completely change their lifestyles. Tax collectors and soldiers are to continue in their jobs, but to act righteously within them.

How does this bear on buying sump pumps? Exactly as I said before: the tax collectors and soldiers were encouraged to live righteously in the circumstances they were in for today.

They were also encouraged not to jump ship because of their new convictions: God is wise and knows that we need to grow before we are ready for newer and bigger assignments in the Kingdom.

God desires that people in every situation apply what they know about Christianity to their current situation...too often times we escape the world instead of staying in it to help preserve it.

In the end, usa777, while we should take into consideration principles that the financial experts lay out, especially the Christian experts, there's no way that those experts can judge our calling from God, our measure of faith, or our scriptural convictions that bear on our financial decisions. Numbers and general principles are all they have to work with.

Nor can other singles really help us, except by simply explaining their own decisions which might help us think of things in a different light.

We are on our own before the Lord to make these decisions. To me, that's a very frightening thought: I'd much rather have someone to go to so that if things go badly I can blame someone besides myself. I'm quite familiar with the feeling the Israelites had at Mount Horeb, when they sent Moses to talk with God because they didn't want the responsibility of talking to him themselves. But God gives us no real relief in this area: we must trust Him to lead us, and only Him.

The good news is we CAN trust Him. Things may not turn out nice and neat, but that won't be a surprise to Him. He's got that covered, too...we are free to pray, seek His leading, then decide. We can have all confidence that He will honor the fact that we were seeking Him in our decisions.

shallbe




Wise post, ShallbeRebuilt. Thanks!

Yeah, this is stuff I know in my head but too often fail to put into practice. I have an extremely hard time taking one day at a time. Working on it, but it's really tough.

I think that, since I've had a few big life-changing events which I had no control over, I try especially hard to control my life/future. I know Christ, but I have to admit that faith is not one of my strong points. I do better in other areas of my walk.

Some of this has to do with personality. I'm an idealist who thinks a lot - like way too much sometimes Others can be quite happy living one day at a time, doing their normal routine, while I'm always asking questions about the bigger picture. Like, if I'm not meant to show love to a husband & children as I always assumed, then how am I to redirect my life to have a ministry to show Christ's love in ways I never expected?
Post #: 72
RE: Single Forever? - 8/17/2008 6:06:14 PM   
usa777

 

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