Abortion (Full Version)

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howIloveHim -> Abortion (7/18/2007 3:14:46 PM)

1st let me say this thread is to in NO WAY support abortion.

I made this thread for all women have been affected by abortion rather it is from having an abortion or from knowing someone who has had an abortion.

I was affected by actually having an abortion. Let me tell you, it ruined my relationship with God. I stopped attending church and lost all my faith in Him. Once picking up the pieces and starting again (thank God for never forsaking us, though we often leave Him) a friend told me about a post abortion bible study. It opened my eyes and heart so much. The class was amazing, and taught that God's forgiveness is amazing.

That is just a short personal story, which in reality is much longer. If you are uncomfortable about discussing such a topic feel free to PM me. I am NOT a certified counselor, but I am a woman of God and can offer prayer and advice.


I hope this touches someone to express there thoughts and feelings or to ask for prayer.

God Bless



shelaughed -> RE: Abortion (7/18/2007 4:19:25 PM)

I have co-facilitated a class called Post Abortion Recovery Group. Did you take Forgiven and Set Free?



howIloveHim -> RE: Abortion (7/18/2007 4:25:31 PM)

Yes, Thats the one. It was sooo good and the leaders were amazing



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Abortion (7/18/2007 4:35:21 PM)

wasn't there recently a thread about abortion recovery?



howIloveHim -> RE: Abortion (7/18/2007 4:56:56 PM)

Im really new, so if there is I am not aware of it.



Hischild1994 -> RE: Abortion (7/18/2007 6:59:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2

wasn't there recently a thread about abortion recovery?


I don't know about a recent one. I know there was one about a woman who wasn't sure if she should be feeling grief, or something like that.

There was one started a few years ago by a woman who still posts here. She did an awesome job. I had one running on Christianity.com before they merged with Crosswalk.

I've prayed and hugged many post-abortive women. It's a painful place to be. I took me a few years to deal with the pain of my decision to abort- but it did eventually lessen.

I wish I could get to women before they abort. However, I can't always. Therefore, I try my best to show them how much Christ loves them and give them someone to talk to about the pain.



clag4christ -> RE: Abortion (7/18/2007 10:37:27 PM)

My mom aborted one of my siblings when I was 8 or 9 years old. She cheated on my dad one night and got pregnant. I'm so sorry that my children will not in this life get to meet and have a relationship with their aunt/uncle. But Lord willing they'll get to meet him/her in heaven. I'm looking forward to that day...meeting my brother/sister with the Lord.



dramagirl4God -> RE: Abortion (7/19/2007 8:29:21 AM)

my mother had an abortion before I was born, the affects of which have completely devastated her, complicating some other mental health issues. She's doing the Forgiven and Set Free bible study with a private counselor who seems to really click with her right now. Actually she starts the first session today. I know things are going to get worse with her before she can start to heal, but I really think this could be the final block to complete healing in her, so I'm praying praying praying.



howIloveHim -> RE: Abortion (7/19/2007 9:05:17 AM)

quote:

I wish I could get to women before they abort. However, I can't always. Therefore, I try my best to show them how much Christ loves them and give them someone to talk to about the pain.


Hischild1994,
I am going to apply to volunteer at a pregnancy care center near my school. It is pretty much an alternative to planned parenthood, and the position that I want is to be a counselor. They give free pregnancy test and counsel those who are pregnant & thinking about abortion. Their goal is to get insurance and health care to the women for them and their child or to let them know about adoption agencies. They also try to lead these women to the Lord. Check and see if there is something like this in your area.


quote:

She's doing the Forgiven and Set Free bible study with a private counselor who seems to really click with her right now. Actually she starts the first session today.


dramagirl4God,
I will keep her in my prayers as well. Forgiven and Set free is really amazing. Every time my group met, I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit there with us. I have faith that she will leave that bible study with a new sense of what forgiveness is and will know how much God loves her, as well as all of us.



dramagirl4God -> RE: Abortion (7/19/2007 1:26:17 PM)

Thank you, I know my mom could really use the prayers right now. If you can, pray for the counselor too, she's going to need a lot of personal strength and wisdom to get through the stories and issues she will get from my mother. Most people won't, in fact my mother has been asked to leave other support groups because of the traumatic issues surrounding her past and abortion. This is why she's doing the study one on one. I just hope this counselor can handle it.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Abortion (7/19/2007 1:29:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hischild1994

quote:

ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2

wasn't there recently a thread about abortion recovery?


I don't know about a recent one. I know there was one about a woman who wasn't sure if she should be feeling grief, or something like that.

I finally got a chance to look and didn't find one...sorry. (We try to consolidate threads for easier posting).

I have not had one....don't know anyone IRL that has had one...so I am really just lurking and praying here



howIloveHim -> RE: Abortion (7/19/2007 1:44:56 PM)

well your lurking and prayer is very welcome!



PrincessDonna -> RE: Abortion (7/19/2007 4:14:19 PM)

I had one when I was 16. God has done an amazing healing in me, though I think there will always be a scar there.

Question for those of you who are adults whose moms had abortions...how old were you when you found out? How did it affect your relationship? This is something I have thought of with my own kids. I know the time has not come for me to share this with them, and I'm not sure how I'll deal with it when it does.



howIloveHim -> RE: Abortion (7/19/2007 4:25:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna

I had one when I was 16. God has done an amazing healing in me, though I think there will always be a scar there.

Question for those of you who are adults whose moms had abortions...how old were you when you found out? How did it affect your relationship? This is something I have thought of with my own kids. I know the time has not come for me to share this with them, and I'm not sure how I'll deal with it when it does.


After your abortion did you feel that God would punish you? I know that it is silly because I know that I am forgiven, but I fear that I may not be able to have children. I always think about the story of David and Bathsheba



PrincessDonna -> RE: Abortion (7/19/2007 4:34:16 PM)

Yes, I did. In the eleven years since then, I had had a very difficult high risk pregnancy, miscarried, went through infertility for over two years, had female surgery, and miscarried again. I also had three babies between there and also gained a stepson, so it hasn't all been awful. But each time something baby related would go wrong, I had to struggle with that all over again...the overwhelming feeling that I was being punished for what I did.

Those thoughts and struggle were NOT from God. My God has forgiven me and wants only the best for me. There is no condemnation in His eyes when He looks at me, only love. God does not hold things over our heads just waiting for His chance to hurt us.



shelaughed -> RE: Abortion (7/19/2007 5:32:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna

I had one when I was 16. God has done an amazing healing in me, though I think there will always be a scar there.

Question for those of you who are adults whose moms had abortions...how old were you when you found out? How did it affect your relationship? This is something I have thought of with my own kids. I know the time has not come for me to share this with them, and I'm not sure how I'll deal with it when it does.


I think my answer is a little different than others...
I was about 4-5 when my mom had an abortion. So for awhile I had a "normal mom" and then all the sudden she was "absent", she has not sought out healing, she still rationalizes her decision.

So as her child, I was confused about why she is the way she is. Now that I know "the why" I'm upset that there is help, counseling, bible studies and such available and she doesn't go.

It really really messed with my moms head and honestly she was never the same.

Telling your kids after you've been thru healing and restoration with God I think is different and will go differently with our (mine and yours) children. We're coming at it from a Godly perspective now, accepting responsibility and such.



clag4christ -> RE: Abortion (7/19/2007 5:41:29 PM)

Well the first time I found out wasn't too long after my mom had the abortion. My dad was drunk one night and showed us the papers that my mom had kept that showed that she'd had an abortion. My dad was so upset by it he was crying and telling us that my mom had killed a baby in her belly. It was pretty traumatic. But I blocked that out until I was about 22-23 when I asked my mom about it again. She feels no remorse for her murder nor does she think I should think about that baby. She's not saved so she sees nothing wrong with her decision. She even told me that she never thinks of that baby. That makes me very sad. She held a life in her womb (after she'd had both my sister and me) and she destroyed that life and doesn't even wonder now what that person would have been like. It's horrid really. It's even harder for me now that I've carried two lives in my womb. But like Shelly said, I think that Christian women who've had them and have been forgiven will be able to tell their children from a different perspective than my mom begrudgingly finally told me.



Hischild1994 -> RE: Abortion (7/21/2007 4:12:04 PM)

My dad helped pay for my abortion. He told my mom about it, but no one else. He only told her because I had some minor complications.
My mom decided that she needed to tell the rest of my family- including my children so that they could all grieve together. She did this to my sister as well when she had an abortion.

For a long time my mom treated me as the villian, not the one who needed to grieve. For a long time I kept my feelings hidden. I wound up moving to an area where no one knew me. I wound up talking about the abortion to a good Christian woman. She's my elderly neighbor. I wasn't sure what I expected from her, but I know that I was shocked by her reaction. She just hugged me. She said that she had never talked to a woman who had an abortion and she didn't realize the pain they had to be experiencing.

I attend a 12 step support group for women. We are on step 7.
Step 5 involves confessing your sins. The workbook talks about the woman caught in adultery and Jesus writing in the sand. It points out that we don't know what He wrote in the sand- whatever it was, He didn't carve it in stone. The book points out that when we confess our sins, we need to confess them to someone who'll write in sand- not stone. The same goes for when someone confesses their sins to us.
Once it's carved in stone, it is next to impossible to remove. Writing in the sand can easily be removed.



Royal.Fortress -> RE: Abortion (7/21/2007 8:04:41 PM)

My sister told me the morning of my wedding day (we were having our hair done together) that she has had one abortion (it might be more ... I was a bit shocked, really) and it was twins =( I started crying and she said she was sorry she said anything (especially the morning of my wedding!) and said I was weird for not knowing anyone who'd had one since everyone she knows had.

I grieved. I still grieve for the nephew(s)/niece(s) I never got to meet. It just makes my heart so sad! Especially since she was an adult in a long-term relationship. And especially since she and her now husband
had started to TTC and she said that they wanted a baby so bad. I couldn't understand how she could say 'No' to her precious babies a few years ago and be angry about not having one yet now.



Hischild1994 -> RE: Abortion (7/21/2007 8:26:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Royal.Fortress
I couldn't understand how she could say 'No' to her precious babies a few years ago and be angry about not having one yet now.


Because a few years ago she was in a different position than she is in now.
She probably has major regrets, self-anger, self-hatred for what she did. There is probably a little voice in the back of her mind that wonders if she hasn't conceived because she had the abortion. I can't honestly say that she feels that way, but I would be suprised if she didn't because so many women do.

My baby would have been 15 last January. Even though I have a birthday in January and so do two of my four children, January still brings pangs of regret.
I saw it as a quick fix. I had no idea what was about to come in the form of depression, etc. following the abortion. I really didn't think I was taking a life. When I faced that reality, then I was so overwhelmed with greif that I couldn't have made it through it without Christ.



dramagirl4God -> RE: Abortion (7/21/2007 9:28:52 PM)

I don't remember when my mother first told me, I know I was young. I do know that at first she said that there was a possibility that she'd had an abortion before she knew my father, she wasn't sure (due to some other mental health issues related to PTSD), then discovered it was a definite when I was about 14 because of some health issues. Honestly I didn't take it very seriously, it just blended in as another aspect of her mental health. Then when I was pregnant and miscarried she was there with me, and suddenly I mourned my sibling as well as my own baby lost.



Royal.Fortress -> RE: Abortion (7/21/2007 11:26:55 PM)

quote:

Because a few years ago she was in a different position than she is in now.
She probably has major regrets, self-anger, self-hatred for what she did. There is probably a little voice in the back of her mind that wonders if she hasn't conceived because she had the abortion.


She did end up conceiving after 5 months of trying, and she told me that she was wondering if they were having conception problems b/c of the abortion(s). I can understand she was in a different position, I just can't ever understand killing a baby. She's not a Christian, so I know that makes it different ... it's not that I can't understand why someone would do it, I just can't ever imagine doing it.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Abortion (7/22/2007 6:08:07 PM)

quote:

it's not that I can't understand why someone would do it, I just can't ever imagine doing it.


It's very hard to explain, even for myself, because I am not in that place and I know a whole lot more now than I did then. I would never try to make excuses for what I did, but there were quite a lot of things that came into play for me, not the least of which were total and absolute fear, and ignorance of other options. I truly felt I had no choice. Now I know better, but you can't go back...[:(]



um_lilly -> RE: Abortion (7/22/2007 9:21:29 PM)

One of my old friends had a few abortions before we both became christians. Of course she was one of these people who thought that in order to keep a man in her life, she had to get pregnant for him. The abortions really wrecked her fertility. She was never able to concieve again after the last one due to an incompetent cervix.



Hischild1994 -> RE: Abortion (7/23/2007 8:22:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: um_lilly

One of my old friends had a few abortions before we both became christians. Of course she was one of these people who thought that in order to keep a man in her life, she had to get pregnant for him. The abortions really wrecked her fertility. She was never able to concieve again after the last one due to an incompetent cervix.


That must be really hard for her.



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