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loving single life - 8/5/2008 4:01:01 PM
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hope4Him
Posts: 12
Joined: 8/5/2008
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I have to admit I love being single. I am 37 and have enjoyed being single all these years. Most people have given up and don't even bother asking me about meeting someone or getting married. If God decides I should be married I am not opposed, but right now I love being single!
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RE: loving single life - 8/5/2008 4:02:43 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12901
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
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Many of us feel the same way!
Welcome to the forums. 
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: loving single life - 8/5/2008 9:05:15 PM
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coinpurse
Posts: 97
Joined: 5/10/2008
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Im having a good week and Im not thinking about the hubby desire much.
My desire for a husband is strong when Im down in the dumps...has anyone else felt the same way?
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RE: loving single life - 8/5/2008 9:40:21 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6400
Joined: 5/2/2005
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Welcome, rcross. We're near the same age, and I also enjoy singleness... most of the time.
quote:
ORIGINAL: coinpurse
Im having a good week and Im not thinking about the hubby desire much.
My desire for a husband is strong when Im down in the dumps...has anyone else felt the same way?
I think it's natural to have these desires when we're down... just be careful that you're not wishing for a husband to rescue you from these down feelings. For me, sometimes I wish I just had someone to "be there" with flesh on (because God is always there for us), to listen, or just to provide company so I don't feel so alone.
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RE: loving single life - 8/5/2008 9:56:15 PM
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Onecontent
Posts: 58
Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Cute-N-Sassy
Welcome, rcross. We're near the same age, and I also enjoy singleness... most of the time.
quote:
ORIGINAL: coinpurse
Im having a good week and Im not thinking about the hubby desire much.
My desire for a husband is strong when Im down in the dumps...has anyone else felt the same way?
I think it's natural to have these desires when we're down... just be careful that you're not wishing for a husband to rescue you from these down feelings. For me, sometimes I wish I just had someone to "be there" with flesh on (because God is always there for us), to listen, or just to provide company so I don't feel so alone.
I agree with you both.
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RE: loving single life - 8/5/2008 10:53:55 PM
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Blazingson
Posts: 91
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: coinpurse
Im having a good week and Im not thinking about the hubby desire much.
My desire for a husband is strong when Im down in the dumps...has anyone else felt the same way?
I never feel that way. When I'm "down in the dumps", my desire is for a wife instead.
_____________________________
*Eric G.*
Matthew 5:16
Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
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RE: loving single life - 8/5/2008 11:38:22 PM
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coinpurse
Posts: 97
Joined: 5/10/2008
Status: offline
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OneContent,
Im near the same age as well. You know, sometimes I still have the vision of the glass slippers and being "rescued" by my king (prince is for the younger girls:)...I know thats a big fat joke/fairytale...the only King who came for me was Jesus (the only true king)...but you know...the knight in shining armor idea still gives me butterflies! Deep down Im still hoping for it just a little bit.
Reminds me of "Fairy Tales", an Anita Baker song:
I can remember stories, those things my mother said
She told me fairy tales, before I went to bed
She spoke of happy endings, then tucked me in real tight
She turned my night light on, and kissed my face good night
My mind would fill with visions, of perfect paradise
She told me everything, she said he'd be so nice
He'd ride up on his horse and, take me away one night
I'd be so happy with him, we'd ride clean out of sight
She never said that we would, curse, cry and scream and lie
She never said that maybe, someday he'd say goodbye
The story ends, as stories do
Reality steps into view
No longer living life in paradise - of fairy tales - uh
No, uh - huh - mmm - mmm
She spoke about happy endings, of stories not like this
She said he'd slay all dragons, defeat the evil prince
She said he'd come to save me, swim through the stormy seas
I'd understand the story, it would be good for me
You never came to save me, you let me stand alone
Out in the wilderness, alone in the cold
My story end, as stories do
Reality steps into view
No longer living life in paradise - no fairy tales - yes
I don't look for pie up in the sky, baby
Need reality, now, said I
Don't feel the need to be pacified, don't cha try
Honey, I know you lied
You never came to save me, you let me stand alone
Out in the wilderness, alone in the cold
I found no magic POTION, no horse with wings to fly
I found the poison apple, my destiny to die
No royal kiss could save me, no magic spell to spin
My fantasy is over, my life must now begin
My story end, as stories do
Reality steps into view
No longer living life in paradise - no fairy tales - eh,
hey, hey - eee - mmm, mmm
Lord have mercy - ooo
ooo - mmm - oh Lord
quote:
ORIGINAL: Cute-N-Sassy
Welcome, rcross. We're near the same age, and I also enjoy singleness... most of the time.
quote:
ORIGINAL: coinpurse
Im having a good week and Im not thinking about the hubby desire much.
My desire for a husband is strong when Im down in the dumps...has anyone else felt the same way?
I think it's natural to have these desires when we're down... just be careful that you're not wishing for a husband to rescue you from these down feelings. For me, sometimes I wish I just had someone to "be there" with flesh on (because God is always there for us), to listen, or just to provide company so I don't feel so alone.
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RE: loving single life - 8/6/2008 6:07:05 PM
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offtheisland
Posts: 479
Joined: 7/17/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: coinpurse
Im having a good week and Im not thinking about the hubby desire much.
My desire for a husband is strong when Im down in the dumps...has anyone else felt the same way?
I have felt that way too. Right now, my heart is in Hawaii, but for now, I have seven years until my youngest is eighteen and I can be okay about leaving FL. So, with that being said, I should be focusing on my singlehood, serving in ministry, and caring for my family.
_____________________________
My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul.
Psalm 108:1
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RE: loving single life - 8/8/2008 7:24:52 PM
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onthewayray
Posts: 41
Joined: 7/23/2008
Status: offline
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I am right there with you all as well. I started something a while back. I am writing letters to my wife. No I am not seeing anyone as of now, But I am writing to her just the same. It's just simple little note a friend told me I should do this and then when I do get married give them to her on our wedding night....
_____________________________
I am still being shaped by God.
Isaiah 64:8
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RE: loving single life - 8/9/2008 1:31:04 AM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26222
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Blazingson
quote:
ORIGINAL: coinpurse
Im having a good week and Im not thinking about the hubby desire much.
My desire for a husband is strong when Im down in the dumps...has anyone else felt the same way?
I never feel that way. When I'm "down in the dumps", my desire is for a wife instead.
_____________________________
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RE: loving single life - 8/10/2008 8:19:06 AM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2094
Joined: 11/8/2007
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I used to believe that God gives us the desires of our hearts, and then He fulfils those desires. Why, after all, it's what I've been taught all my life!
But my best girlfriend has the desire to be a mother; a physical mother of her own baby. Since she has that desire, does it mean she's called to be a mother?
She's 48 and it has never happened...not likely it ever will.
We can argue about whether it's right or wrong for one person or the other to desire to be married. But wanting a child when you are in a secure, happy marriage? What could possibly be wrong with that?
God has not and apparently will not answer this desire of her heart. The desire has not to this day gone away.
Now, we could argue whether she's refused the options that God has offered her: she has chosen not to adopt, and when the fertility procedures finally got to the "heroic measures" stage, she and her husband chose to stop.
But her desire was very specific: she wants a baby of her own flesh and blood.
What am I to do with that fact? Here is this teaching about God giving us our desires and then fulfilling them--and yet a fact staring me in the face that is disproves it.
Not trying to discourage anybody, but just wanted to point out that there may be something wrong with the belief that God gives us our desires and then fulfills them.
shallbe
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RE: loving single life - 8/10/2008 8:57:37 AM
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rgod
Posts: 1475
Joined: 4/25/2005
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quote:
ShallbeRebuilt wrote: What am I to do with that fact? Here is this teaching about God giving us our desires and then fulfilling them--and yet a fact staring me in the face that is disproves it.
Not trying to discourage anybody, but just wanted to point out that there may be something wrong with the belief that God gives us our desires and then fulfills them.
You can have desires that God leaves unfulfilled. It could be marriage, a child, being healed of some affliction or sickness, or something else. I think that the verse in Psalms about God granting you the desires of your heart is more about our desires matching His. As we delight ourselves in the Lord, His desires become our desires. So while we may want to be married, or healed, or have a child - the overriding desire over time becomes pleasing Christ and living out His purposes for our lives. But this can be so hard to accept! I know because for many years I was angry and bitter with the Lord about why He kept me alone for so long.
One of the things I had to really learn is that God is sovereign. It never occured to me that the answer to my prayer might be "no." We also tend to think that if God loves us He will grant us what we think is best which is the desire of our hearts. The desire might not be wrong - after all, what is wrong with a married couple wanting a child? What is wrong with wanting to be married? Nothing is wrong with any of those things. But God can love us and still say "no" to us.
There is a grieving that takes place when God says no - I'm sure your friend is/has been grieving that and my heart goes out to she and her husband - I kind of tear up just thinking about what they must have gone through. At the same time, the temptation is to think that God doesn't love us when He says no. But this is not true. God loves us so much even when He says no to us - even when we don't understand why. Of course we stand in faith and believe God and petition Him. But we also know that He can say no because He sees the entire picture and plan and we do not.
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RE: loving single life - 8/10/2008 9:31:04 AM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2094
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rgod
quote:
ShallbeRebuilt wrote: What am I to do with that fact? Here is this teaching about God giving us our desires and then fulfilling them--and yet a fact staring me in the face that is disproves it.
Not trying to discourage anybody, but just wanted to point out that there may be something wrong with the belief that God gives us our desires and then fulfills them.
You can have desires that God leaves unfulfilled. It could be marriage, a child, being healed of some affliction or sickness, or something else. I think that the verse in Psalms about God granting you the desires of your heart is more about our desires matching His. As we delight ourselves in the Lord, His desires become our desires. So while we may want to be married, or healed, or have a child - the overriding desire over time becomes pleasing Christ and living out His purposes for our lives. But this can be so hard to accept! I know because for many years I was angry and bitter with the Lord about why He kept me alone for so long.
One of the things I had to really learn is that God is sovereign. It never occured to me that the answer to my prayer might be "no." We also tend to think that if God loves us He will grant us what we think is best which is the desire of our hearts. The desire might not be wrong - after all, what is wrong with a married couple wanting a child? What is wrong with wanting to be married? Nothing is wrong with any of those things. But God can love us and still say "no" to us.
There is a grieving that takes place when God says no - I'm sure your friend is/has been grieving that and my heart goes out to she and her husband - I kind of tear up just thinking about what they must have gone through. At the same time, the temptation is to think that God doesn't love us when He says no. But this is not true. God loves us so much even when He says no to us - even when we don't understand why. Of course we stand in faith and believe God and petition Him. But we also know that He can say no because He sees the entire picture and plan and we do not.
rgod, as usual I find myself in agreement with you. My goal was to point out this exact thing so that others may have food for thought concerning their own beliefs about this teaching. It's quite prevalent and tends to allow us to put our hopes on the desire that we have rather than the God of hope.
Ebony101: God does want you to hang in there. You can be assured that He is working. Put your faith and your hope in Him.
Whether He is working specifially on fulfilling your desire to be married is something that can be left completely up to Him. He is trustworthy.
shallbe
shallbe
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RE: loving single life - 8/10/2008 9:45:14 AM
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CoeurdeLeon_
Posts: 9501
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ShallbeRebuilt
I used to believe that God gives us the desires of our hearts, and then He fulfils those desires. Why, after all, it's what I've been taught all my life!
But my best girlfriend has the desire to be a mother; a physical mother of her own baby. Since she has that desire, does it mean she's called to be a mother?
She's 48 and it has never happened...not likely it ever will.
We can argue about whether it's right or wrong for one person or the other to desire to be married. But wanting a child when you are in a secure, happy marriage? What could possibly be wrong with that?
God has not and apparently will not answer this desire of her heart. The desire has not to this day gone away.
Now, we could argue whether she's refused the options that God has offered her: she has chosen not to adopt, and when the fertility procedures finally got to the "heroic measures" stage, she and her husband chose to stop.
But her desire was very specific: she wants a baby of her own flesh and blood.
What am I to do with that fact? Here is this teaching about God giving us our desires and then fulfilling them--and yet a fact staring me in the face that is disproves it.
Not trying to discourage anybody, but just wanted to point out that there may be something wrong with the belief that God gives us our desires and then fulfills them.
shallbe
Perfect example and timely post, Shallbe. It is very important to hold our interpretation of what a verse or passage means up to real life. There have been many things I thought I knew that were shaken up by actual experience. There are many good, godly people who have good and godly desires that are not fulfilled. To hold onto a misguided interpretation of that verse is to allow guilt and doubt to begin to plague us. We must assume that there is fault within us, we're not good enough or don't have enough faith, and that's why our desires are not fulfilled. That is a lie from the pit!
The other result is bitterness. As long as we are under a wrong assumption we will eventually fall into bitterness as years and years pass without this 'promise' being fulfilled.
And rgod brings up an important point. Grieving is necessary in these situations. There are things that God will say "no" to that will never make sense to us this side of the grave. If we do not grieve, we never come to the place where we can accept a "no" from God.
_____________________________
This morning I was awakened by the sound of purple
colliding with the fragrance of laughter.
Eutychus
10.13.08
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RE: loving single life - 8/10/2008 11:28:37 AM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26222
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
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Wow, Esther, rgod and Lioness!
Great posts.
Our desires do not always equals God's Will; no matter how we might want them to do so.
And the opposite of that is just because something might be God's Will for a person doesn't mean that He will give them the desire for it; nor does it mean that whatever the something is, it will be easy. A person might eventually develop a desire for it, but it may not necessarily be an automatic, inborn thing in them.
Our Lord's Peace surpasses any desire or lack of desire we could ever have for something. That's what I look for in any situation . . . after praying for His Wisdom and His Guidance, I then look for His Peace; and it's His Peace that I try to follow; not where or where not my desires may lead me.
_____________________________
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