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having a third child worries - 7/29/2008 3:33:25 PM
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CEmom
Posts: 5
Joined: 4/7/2006
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I'm on staff at our church so I feel here would be a safer place to share my worries, concern, question.
We have two wonderful kids, a ds 6.5 and a dd who is 3. We have a great marriage and manage what little money we have o.k. stewership comes before frills in our home. We are both 35
We went into our marriage with me wanting lots of kids and my dh saying we will see after each child if we would have more.
There are so many logical reasons to stop at two kids. We have spent many hours in prayer over this as I feel a need for a third and slowly dh has felt this on his heart as well.
Now that we have agreed that it's a possiblity I scared, I'm not sure that's the right word. How do I know this is what God wants? How will I cope with all day sickness? Life is just getting easier in regards to the amount of stuff and the amount of sleep. But the thought of all the good baby stuff is amazing.
Any thoughts?
Alissa
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RE: having a third child worries - 7/29/2008 3:40:57 PM
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MrsTracy72
Posts: 1758
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Hi Alissa and welcome!!!!
God isn't going to lead you in the wrong direction. God loves children and if he sees fit for you to have another, then he will give you one. Plain and simple. But that is not to say that if you don't get pregnant right away, or have a misarriage or two, that he doesn't want you to have one, just that it may not be the right time. At least that is how I looked at it when I miscarried a couple of times before I got my beautiful Kayla.
You know that it is going to change your budget but that is always something that you can work with and you know that it is going to change your lives. I love having three kids. I wanted more but it isn't going to happen. Time just got away with me and DH is not open to that idea anwyay.
But a child is a blessing. Why would God not want you to have that?
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RE: having a third child worries - 7/29/2008 6:37:49 PM
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schupfNoodle
Posts: 95
Joined: 7/27/2006
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We're in the same boat. I've been thinking of having or not having a second child for months!! i can't imagine loving another child. How do parents manage? How can they love more than one . Just crazy thoughts. I adore our 17 month ds. But I wish he'd learn to sleep thru the night 
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RE: having a third child worries - 7/29/2008 10:35:59 PM
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MrsTracy72
Posts: 1758
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How can you love more than one child? You love your husband right? And you love your child right? There is no way that when you find out you are having that second or third or whatever number baby, that love is just right there. No worries.
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RE: having a third child worries - 7/29/2008 11:03:47 PM
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Karaboo2
Posts: 2346
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
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I think that the fact that you and your hubby are both feeling the push for another child IS your answer. I also know that child #3 can seem overwhelming, especially when your first two are getting to a fairly independent stage. Take it day by day ... hour by hour. If you feel your strength is failing, talk to God ... I know with all of my pregnancies I was just praying to make it through the morning/afternoon/evening. (I had horrible all-day sickness). You will find an inner strength you never knew you had. Trust me on that one -- my 5th child is due in 2 weeks.
_____________________________
Kara
Tea Drinkers Anonymous
<-- Caleb
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RE: having a third child worries - 7/30/2008 12:17:22 PM
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garsyt
Posts: 2236
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I do think that going from 2 to 3 is a tough adjustment. They (the Kids) outnumber the parents at that point. Mom just simply doesn't have the right number of arms anymore.
BUT!!!
The love for the others does NOT diminish because another person to love is added. In fact that love, that bond gets stronger and multiplies by leaps and bounds! I have 4 children. God had us WAIT 4 years between child #1 and #2. After #2 our 3rd came along 18 months later and #4 came 19 months after that. We loved our eldest two children with ALL that was in us and I was actually devastated when I became pregnant with my 3rd child. But as my pregnancy progressed I realized that God would have NEVER given me this child and this job as a parent had he thought I couldn't handle it. He would have NEVER allowed this child to be growing in me had he thought it wasn't for MY good. I HELD on to that throughout my pregnancy and after he was born and God showed me that the love wasn't diminished at all but was growing and growing and growing!
There is no degrees to love as there are on a thermometer, especially when it comes to your children. There isn't for me anyway.
Blessings,
Garsy
_____________________________
My Blog: www.moredayslikethisplease.wordpress.com
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RE: having a third child worries - 7/30/2008 1:33:29 PM
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3cappuccinosmom
Posts: 2509
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
Any thoughts?
Chuck the birth control and see what God does.  As someone else asked, why *wouldn't* he want you to have another child? Even if you believe in family planning, do you think there is some reason God would say you'd be poor parents to a third child?
We have three children, and the adjustment from two to three was definately the hardest for me, *but* it was absolutely worth it. And you may have an easier time because your older two children are older than mine were, and thus can help you more and won't be quite so needy. You cope with the sickness and tiredness like you did with the others--as best you can. For me, that meant spending my mornings on the couch through the first trimester while the older two climbed all over me and watched Sesame Street. It didn't kill them. 
Love isn't a limited substance that can only be divided a certain number of ways. Love multiplies and increases. 
Even though I am committed to letting God plan my family (that is, we use no birth control), I always have those moments of worry about how I will cope, how will I love the newest baby, what if all those exciting milestones are 'old hat' by the 4th baby, etc. Every new baby I have, God proves to me again and again what a blessing they are. Every new baby is unique, and has some qualities that are uniquely loveable. Each one has different challenges, different joys, different accomplishments. My third baby was no less loveable and no less exciting than the first one. They're all just plain fabulous.
_____________________________
 Moo
Shameless Self Promotion~Christmas giveaway this week!
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RE: having a third child worries - 7/31/2008 11:38:59 PM
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goodnsimple
Posts: 40
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Having a third was not the difficult decision... mine was on the fourth. For the third, it was a new marriage with each of us having a daughter... having a baby just kind of sealed us. Made everyone related. I cannot tell you the wonder of it.
But... the girls were older, and then there was DS... and I felt kind of bad for him, the odd man out so to speak, but you can't pick, so we might have another girl... and four just seemed like a lot... and there is braces and college.
But I really felt we needed another... (although I worried that I would "always" want another baby) So, we had DS... and the boys are best friends.
and even in my pregnancy I was content that this was the last one.
and he is 8, and I do not regret having him, nor not having more.
I know very few who regret children... except a few accidents in folks who had decided they didn't like having kids in the first place.
But I think, if you like the ones you got... you'll like the next one too.
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