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Why???? - 8/9/2008 10:09:51 PM
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foundationofrock
Posts: 4
Joined: 8/9/2008
From: Jacksonville, FL
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I became radically saved in December of 1998. In April of 1999, God called me into full time missions. I gave up a 65k/year job and home, sold everything an went.
My marriage was in SHAMBLES and we were about to get divorced when I got saved. In 2 months my marriage was completely saved! (In October we will be married 13 years and have 2 awesome kids)
So heres my deal.
I am totally given to Christ. So is my wife. I will do WHATEVER God tells me to do.
I am NOT whimsical. I pray things through and only do what I really feel the Lord is telling me to do, and my wife confirms.
So far in the last 3 years, I have been a part of 3 ministries.
I have been burned to a crisp in each one.
I sometimes feel like I am sitting out on an island alone, desperately seeking God in ways that people just dont seem to understand.
I only want the TRUTH. I only want the PURE PRESENCE OF GOD.
Am I truly on an island? Are we isolated to the point of worshiping in our own house?
What have you people experienced? Does this strike a string with anyone else?
We do not desire to be isolated, but do not want to end up fried eggs every time we get involved.
Whats your thoughts??
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RE: Why???? - 8/9/2008 10:12:33 PM
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earthless
Posts: 6205
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: where pigeons are wearing sweaters....
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Your post reminds me of a book I read a while back titled, "Burned by friendly fire..."
Some people get so involved in church (not meaning God/one's personal relationship with Jesus) that they burn out, they get used and abused and some even lose their family on the altar of ministry.
Make sure you have balance in what you do. To ask yourself, "why do I do the things that I do?" And always remember that God loves you does not mean you have to be in church 20 hours a day.
When I was pastoring (associate pastor, not main) for so many years, I remember some Sundays I just did not feel like going to church, was tired from my "secular" job, etc... so if I wasn't preaching that given Sunday or whatnot.. I would stay home and relax, recharge.
I remember people calling or asking me, "are you sick? everything OK?" My response? "I felt great but wanted to stay home and relax with my family..." I remember the look on some of the more churchainity folk.. you could have sworn I told them I had murdered their dog.
_____________________________
Probing Today's Religious Movements | Promoting Doctrinal Discernment & Critical Thinking | Providing Reasons for Christian Faith & Ethics
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RE: Why???? - 8/9/2008 10:21:17 PM
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foundationofrock
Posts: 4
Joined: 8/9/2008
From: Jacksonville, FL
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Hey Earthless. Thanks for the reply.
**
Let me clarify what I mean by getting 'burned'
I am not speaking of burning out. I am more speaking of Being involved in ministries that have either crumbled, completely changed doctrines, or have had intense power struggles that caused the churches to self destruct.
**
What I was a baby Christian, I was a frequent speeder. (I'll blog my teaching on Spiritual speeding sometime). I would be going so fast that I would completely miss where God wanted me. I learned that lesson about 3 months after my wife told me I was doing too much. I walked out of the prayer closet and told her....God showed me that I was doing too much, and need to slow down....I got the 'duh' face...I am sure you know what that is.....HAHA.
**
_____________________________
"Go and preach the gospel to the world. And use words if necessary" - Martin Luther
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RE: Why???? - 8/9/2008 10:28:02 PM
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colliefan
Posts: 2789
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Raleigh, NC
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Take some time to let God heal you before you look for another place to minister. Realize that God has allowed you to go through the "dark night of the soul" for a reason. In this time, soak in the truth of God's deep love for you.
Hymn
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RE: Why???? - 8/9/2008 10:30:06 PM
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earthless
Posts: 6205
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: where pigeons are wearing sweaters....
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quote:
ORIGINAL: foundationofrock
I am not speaking of burning out. I am more speaking of Being involved in ministries that have either crumbled, completely changed doctrines, or have had intense power struggles that caused the churches to self destruct.
**
Been there too brother.. your situation reminds me of what I have shared on here:
First example
Second example
_____________________________
Probing Today's Religious Movements | Promoting Doctrinal Discernment & Critical Thinking | Providing Reasons for Christian Faith & Ethics
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RE: Why???? - 8/9/2008 10:31:34 PM
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lightshineon
Posts: 3553
Joined: 4/11/2005
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In war friendly fire is the most demoralizing thing that can happen to a sqaud of soldiers, if someone wounds or kills their own. It is the same way in the church, I call it friendly fire also, when wounded spiritually, it is so demoralizing. I feel the same way, but sometimes we have to stay, and work things out, I have been burned as you, I am now going through much friendly fire at church. Paul went through much friendly fire, as did John. I found doing things the way Jesus said to do them does quench the anger mode. I am sorry, sometimes things are very unfair in churches, and leave us with bitter taste in our mouths and souls. Do not quit running the race, or let any man steal your crown. Not worth it.
_____________________________
Remember, whenever you have pearls, there are always plenty of pigs nearby who would be glad to step on them.
F.T., 2007
Be sure you vote for those, whose views you want your children to emulate.
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RE: Why???? - 8/11/2008 4:09:01 PM
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DougHorton
Posts: 934
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Georgia
Status: offline
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I've been shot down by friendly fire, also, so I know the feeling!
The OP is brief an does not tell us much. Let me note a few things I see in the OP. You had a 65K job. You must have been good at something besides "ministry". Why did you think that God was calling you to give up that calling for "ministry"? Perhaps the fact that three ministries in three years have burned you is God's way of telling you to be looking to serve Him some other way, perhaps returning to your previous calling.
These two lines struck me:
quote:
I only want the TRUTH. I only want the PURE PRESENCE OF GOD.
Am I truly on an island? Are we isolated to the point of worshiping in our own house?
Are you sacrificing relations and solid Christian fellowship for your perception of the "TRUTH"? You may be 100% right, but are you willing to admit to you might be wrong?
_____________________________
Doug
You may think it strange, but he never likes any assistance. When he made the world, he did not ask the angel Gabriel so much as to cool the molten matter with his wing, but he did it entirely himself. -- Spurgeon
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RE: Why???? - 8/12/2008 8:01:33 AM
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timf
Posts: 512
Joined: 10/20/2006
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Bad experiences with Christian churches, groups, organizations, and ministries can result from a number of causes.
Fault with the person:
1. Trying to "do" Christian work in the flesh.
2. Mistaken about God's leading.
3. Newer Christians led by pride.
4. Bullied by shame, guilt, or otherwise manipulated into some work.
Fault with the group:
1. Trying to "do" Christian work in the flesh.
2. Mistaken about God's leading.
3. Problems with the funding "engine".
4. Political or power struggles.
5. Personality conflicts
6. Reduction of Christianity to a system or procedure
Western society is so immersed in the culture of the collective (school, employment, government, even church) that it is difficult to even think of Christians relating to each other as individuals much less ministering to each other on that basis.
Having bad experiences is a good opportunity to reflect on fundamental assumptions and take a fresh look at what we are trying to do.
Newer Christians often think about what great things they can do for the Lord or what great enterprise they can be a part of. Christian maturity often brings a different focus.
There was a woman named Glenda who had a very painful childhood. When she got saved, she started attending a church with which she was familiar. She said she went from thinking she was the only person who had not heard about Jesus to thinking she was the only person who had.
People who approach Christianity in the same way they approach environmental activism, animal rights, and tax reform bring with them their ideas of pragmatism and goal orientation. This is called acting in the flesh because there is no room for the leading of the Lord.
The Bible does not paint much of a picture of "collective" Christianity. Individual Christians are called to "love one another". Most of our churches today function not too differently than the Catholic church. It is sad but many churches and ministries can actually interfere with growing into the image of Christ.
You may want to take this time to ask some deeper questions about where the Lord is leading you. You may want to consider some fundamental assumptions about how the Christian life is to be led. You may want to consider some of the issues raised here;
http://christianpioneer.com/index.htm
Feel free to PM me if you have any questions. I pray that the Lord will reveal to you the path He would have you take.
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RE: Why???? - 8/12/2008 12:00:52 PM
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DougHorton
Posts: 934
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Georgia
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quote:
Newer Christians often think about what great things they can do for the Lord or what great enterprise they can be a part of. Christian maturity often brings a different focus.
Amen to that! I am ashamed to even remember some of the things I said and believed back when I thought I was preparing for a lifetime of ministry!
_____________________________
Doug
You may think it strange, but he never likes any assistance. When he made the world, he did not ask the angel Gabriel so much as to cool the molten matter with his wing, but he did it entirely himself. -- Spurgeon
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