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Marriage Counseling - 11/2/2008 7:55:17 PM
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BeeLuvsAva
Posts: 1237
Joined: 10/23/2008
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Me and my husband are currently not together, long story which I won't go into, but he did leave me, well I have been talking to him lately and we do have a 3 week old daughter together (he has not seen her yet) and today we were talking (maybe a hour ago) and he said we should try Marriage counseling, now to me I am surprised that he brought it up, and am just a bit relieved that he did too.
What I want to know is it worth it? has anyone done it? and if so does it really help in any way?
Thanks ahead for the input.
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RE: Marriage Counseling - 11/2/2008 8:54:28 PM
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Roberta_
Posts: 7427
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
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Bee- just be cautious please.
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RE: Marriage Counseling - 11/2/2008 9:19:38 PM
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csl7037
Posts: 2071
Joined: 3/24/2008
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How do you mean cautious, Diva? Cautious about who to go to for counselling or who to listen to for advice about going to counselling? IMO, I think both warrant caution.
I think really good Christian counselling can be really good. But someone has to be able to call sin sin and not mix God's Word with pop psychology or other nonsense that just wont help. Secular (or worldly Christian) counselling is a waste of time and money at best - and can be incredibly detrimental if you ask me.
I was reading this* earlier today. Honestly, I have no idea who these people are but I've really enjoyed reading some of the stuff on the site and so much of it just makes so much sense - uncommonly so...his take on counselling and marital problems is so simple, I think it's brilliant.
(* OK, there's a glitch of some sort, I really need to head to bed, so I hope it's OK to just put the link here: http://www.acts17-11.com/marriage_counseling.html)
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RE: Marriage Counseling - 11/3/2008 12:21:20 PM
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crankius
Posts: 4493
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BeeLuvsAva
Me and my husband are currently not together, long story which I won't go into, but he did leave me, well I have been talking to him lately and we do have a 3 week old daughter together (he has not seen her yet) and today we were talking (maybe a hour ago) and he said we should try Marriage counseling, now to me I am surprised that he brought it up, and am just a bit relieved that he did too.
What I want to know is it worth it? has anyone done it? and if so does it really help in any way?
Thanks ahead for the input.
Bee,
I am very glad that he called you. That could be a very good sign.
However, please use discretion. He left you when you were pregnant. He has not seen his daughter yet. I don't need to know all the details to know that already, his behavior is highly suspicious, and he has not shown himself to be trustworthy.
He has some long-term work to do to repent, confess, and work at reconciliation with you.
And surely, you have things to discuss, and having a Christian counselor mediate will be very good.
I personally haven't ever been to marriage counseling, so I can't give you a personal experience. But seeking counsel is Biblical, and especially given the situation you have described, your husband needs accountability AND counsel from an objective person. (Ideally, he would be part of a church and the male leadership would hold him accountable, but this still would not replace the need for serious counseling.)
If I were you, I would not reconcile with my husband until after we had been through some serious Christian counseling together.
_____________________________
Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16
SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY
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RE: Marriage Counseling - 11/3/2008 1:41:24 PM
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Roberta_
Posts: 7427
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
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quote:
ORIGINAL: csl7037
How do you mean cautious, Diva? Cautious about who to go to for counselling or who to listen to for advice about going to counselling? IMO, I think both warrant caution.
Both, but moreso her estranged husband. I say this based on this thread and her other threads.
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RE: Marriage Counseling - 11/3/2008 10:36:01 PM
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BeeLuvsAva
Posts: 1237
Joined: 10/23/2008
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okay thank you, I will take all the advice to heart. Thanks
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RE: Marriage Counseling - 11/6/2008 9:42:41 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 769
Joined: 11/28/2005
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Marriage counseling works when both parties are really willing to
work on the issues that lead to the marriage breaking down.
Is it worth it?
Of course it is!
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