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Liars - 10/5/2008 11:56:34 PM
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Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 657
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
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I seem to run into a lot of guys who lie. They lie about average/everyday things. That makes no sense to me. If you ask them were they bought their shirt, they tell you they got it at a high-end department store instead of were they really got it (discount store). Usually the truth comes out later--so why do they lie? (I'm not talking about guys I date, I'm talking about guy around the neighborhood.) They lie about everything! Do they really think people believe them? It's aggravating! I can't avoid them cuz they're neighbors and people around the area. I run into them at stores and resturants. I usually just nod my head and say "that's nice" and try to move on as fast as possible.
Any insight into this type of problem would be welcome.
Footnote: I know that a lot of women lie too. And most men are decent, honest guys. This question is just directed at those who are habitual liars.
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
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RE: Liars - 10/6/2008 2:01:35 AM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 1526
Joined: 6/1/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Chrystal-J-007
Footnote: I know that a lot of women lie too. And most men are decent, honest guys. This question is just directed at those who are habitual liars.
Now Chrystal-J,
Why are you getting so upset? I'm one of those guys! Whoops! There I go again, another lie! I make it a habit of never telling the truth, I mean always lying.  Stop it, fingers! Ha! It's not their fault, it's this uncomfortable chair I'm sitting in.
What can be said about lying? It's easy. You can quickly make up a story about how something broke, when the truth is it slipped out of your hands accidentally. So that's avoid blame. Have you ever had a real whopper of a story shared with you, and someone say they just wanted to see how you'd react to it? Sometimes that's really close to a joke. Gullible. Someone just wants to see how much you'll believe before you 'call their bluff'. What if there's really nothing to say, but someone wants there to be talk anyway? It's a sorry way to open up conversation. I'd say sometimes people just don't want to be open, to be real, to just let out that they are really in a lot of hurt, or a lot of fear. Why? Maybe they are trapped in it, maybe that seems like all they have- all they know.
Do you think there are neighbors in your 'hood that just want to escape reality for a while? Not live in a fantasy world, but to just simply talk themselves into a better feeling of being alive? They are not crying out so much for religion or the church or wanting to know God so much as they are wanting a friend?
This is all not reasons why I became a habitual liar, but what if for some the truth just isn't working? Are there lots of folks laid off of work in Detroit? Not having a job, and not finding one- that can quickly get people trying to feel better about their today than their yesterday.
Next time you see a guy in your 'hood you know somewhat well, and he tells you a real sho' 'nough lie, and he's smiling a little bit, maybe instead of running, you return the favor, only try to best his just a little, with only the slight hint that it may be a lie, and see what happens. Not seeking to build a friendship on that interaction, but just to say without saying it- hey, I hear you, I know you have it tough, and I'm around so don't do anything stupid with your life, ok? That may sound silly, but if you answer him like that, I'm believing you can break in to someone's reality and you won't have to think there's no truth around you anymore, as it were.
Blessings,
OneJohn410
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For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
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RE: Liars - 10/6/2008 11:38:14 AM
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Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 657
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
Status: online
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The reason it gets on my nerves is cuz I'll ask them something. ...like did the mail run yet? and they say "no"...so, I sit there waiting for the mail lady when she already came by and that's a waste of my time.
Or I ask them were they bought something and they tell me the store and then I go there and they don't sell that item...another waste of my time. Of coarse, I've learned never to ask them anything like that, but I wonder why they're so crazy that they can't tell you the truth about anything.
Thanks for your input. It's interesting to see the different reasons why people lie.
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
~~
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
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RE: Liars - 10/6/2008 12:39:55 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8038
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Chrystal-J-007
I seem to run into a lot of guys who lie. They lie about average/everyday things. That makes no sense to me. If you ask them were they bought their shirt, they tell you they got it at a high-end department store instead of were they really got it (discount store). Usually the truth comes out later--so why do they lie? (I'm not talking about guys I date, I'm talking about guy around the neighborhood.) They lie about everything! Do they really think people believe them? It's aggravating! I can't avoid them cuz they're neighbors and people around the area. I run into them at stores and resturants. I usually just nod my head and say "that's nice" and try to move on as fast as possible.
Any insight into this type of problem would be welcome.
Footnote: I know that a lot of women lie too. And most men are decent, honest guys. This question is just directed at those who are habitual liars.
Some guys lie so that the good girls will know which ones to shun.
People are basicaly evil and lying is an incredibly easy habit to fall into. I know some folks like that, even if the truth is easy they'll still lie. (Bill Clinton maybe?)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Liars - 10/6/2008 2:49:20 PM
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Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 657
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
People are basicaly evil and lying is an incredibly easy habit to fall into. I know some folks like that, even if the truth is easy they'll still lie. (Bill Clinton maybe?)
That reminds me of a saying my Uncle has: Some people will lie when the truth would fit the situation better!
Thanks for posting!
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
~~
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
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RE: Liars - 10/8/2008 6:45:06 PM
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willfs
Posts: 349
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I have two friends who are skilled at lying. One of them lived right down the road from where the Texas Chainsaw massacre occured. The other one has box seats to the Dallas Cowboys games. And so on and so on.
I don't know about your pals but these guys do it because they are really insecure and they want to be seen as important. So they lie.
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RE: Liars - 10/8/2008 10:25:48 PM
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Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 657
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: APZR
Just to play devils advocate... If you are asking too personal of a question, then you can expect lies or cover stories. Maybe they don't want to reveal their shopping secrets? I don't know how good of friends you are, but if someone I don't know well ask about my personal biz, they will be mislead on purpose. 
Actually, they usually approach me and start their tales while I try to think of my 'escape plan'. I feel sorry for them cuz it's sad that they feel they have to tell these outrageous stories. So, I'm not rude--I nod my head but edge for the door...lol. I just can't understand WHY they do this. Other than being mentally ill--I can't come up with a reason. I can see your point of view though. I've hemmed and hawed when I felt like someone was being too personal. But, these guys walk up to me in a restaurant and tell me they have $20,000 in the bank. Then they ask if they can borrow a few bucks.  (Their money is "all tied up" at the moment.)
I've learned not to ask them any questions cuz all I'll get is a story.
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
~~
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
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RE: Liars - 10/12/2008 1:52:25 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 17763
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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Hmmmm, strange question, I do not lie at all (at least not purposely anyway.) I think in answer to your question is that some guys have low self esteem and do that to make themselves look better than they actually are instead.
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RE: Liars - 10/13/2008 4:28:01 PM
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Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 657
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
Hmmmm, strange question, I do not lie at all (at least not purposely anyway.) I think in answer to your question is that some guys have low self esteem and do that to make themselves look better than they actually are instead.
I noticed your avatar...lol
I made sure to note in my first post that I know most men are not habitual liars. I just wondered why some are. You're right--it's probably a self esteem issue.
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
~~
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
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RE: Liars - 10/14/2008 10:57:28 AM
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Coffee_Drinker
Posts: 109
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline
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This is rather humorous - it reminds me of a discussion I was in on another forum I visit. Someone had made a post about investing, paying off bills and credit scores. All of a sudden everyone (almost everyone) was debt free, investing into whatever they were investing in and had credit scores of 800 plus. Guess I missed the boat on that one. It was funny reading what these young 20'ish people were saying.
Gosh... I wish I were as smart as they were when I was in my 20's.
People lieing about where they get their shirts? I'm happy to say that if it isn't on sale (preferably on a clearance rack) - I don't buy it!
Why do they do it? I'm guessing they want to impress you.
I have a confession... I have bought clothes at Goodwill <sniff sniff>
_____________________________
Jesus Christ is the Son of God.
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RE: Liars - 10/23/2008 10:13:58 AM
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ffbruce
Posts: 271
Joined: 10/14/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: willfs
I have two friends who are skilled at lying. One of them lived right down the road from where the Texas Chainsaw massacre occured. The other one has box seats to the Dallas Cowboys games. And so on and so on.
I don't know about your pals but these guys do it because they are really insecure and they want to be seen as important. So they lie.
I think I just pin-pointed the problem.
And yes, you're welcome! 
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RE: Liars - 10/23/2008 10:17:39 AM
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ffbruce
Posts: 271
Joined: 10/14/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Chrystal-J-007
I seem to run into a lot of guys who lie. They lie about average/everyday things. That makes no sense to me. If you ask them were they bought their shirt, they tell you they got it at a high-end department store instead of were they really got it (discount store). Usually the truth comes out later--so why do they lie? (I'm not talking about guys I date, I'm talking about guy around the neighborhood.) They lie about everything! Do they really think people believe them? It's aggravating! I can't avoid them cuz they're neighbors and people around the area. I run into them at stores and resturants. I usually just nod my head and say "that's nice" and try to move on as fast as possible.
Any insight into this type of problem would be welcome.
Footnote: I know that a lot of women lie too. And most men are decent, honest guys. This question is just directed at those who are habitual liars.
I'd have to guess it's two things: Insecurity and Habit.
But I'm with you in wondering, "Who do they think they're fooling?" I mean, if I walked around my neighborhood telling everybody I'm a pro football player, I cannot even begin to think that anybody would believe me. Go figure.
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RE: Liars - 10/23/2008 5:32:54 PM
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Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 657
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ffbruce
I'd have to guess it's two things: Insecurity and Habit.
But I'm with you in wondering, "Who do they think they're fooling?" I mean, if I walked around my neighborhood telling everybody I'm a pro football player, I cannot even begin to think that anybody would believe me. Go figure.
I agree--it's probably insecurity and habit.
I always wonder what's going through their heads when they get "busted" on a lie. They don't seem to show any shame. They just keep rambling on with another lie. I know I should feel sorry for/pray for these guys, but it's hard when the person lying doesn't seem to care.
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
~~
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
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RE: Liars - 10/23/2008 5:36:32 PM
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Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 657
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Coffee_Drinker
This is rather humorous - it reminds me of a discussion I was in on another forum I visit. Someone had made a post about investing, paying off bills and credit scores. All of a sudden everyone (almost everyone) was debt free, investing into whatever they were investing in and had credit scores of 800 plus. Guess I missed the boat on that one. It was funny reading what these young 20'ish people were saying.
Gosh... I wish I were as smart as they were when I was in my 20's.
People lieing about where they get their shirts? I'm happy to say that if it isn't on sale (preferably on a clearance rack) - I don't buy it!
Why do they do it? I'm guessing they want to impress you.
I have a confession... I have bought clothes at Goodwill <sniff sniff>
Ditto here. I have no problem buying clothes on sale or at a re-sale shop.
I guess I didn't realize how badly some guys feel the need to impress. My motto's always been "take it or leave it" regarding whether someone likes me, my clothes or my house. Others might have a stronger need for approval, so they lie to "fit it" or impress others.
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
~~
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
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RE: Liars - 10/23/2008 6:02:08 PM
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ffbruce
Posts: 271
Joined: 10/14/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Chrystal-J-007
quote:
ORIGINAL: ffbruce
I'd have to guess it's two things: Insecurity and Habit.
But I'm with you in wondering, "Who do they think they're fooling?" I mean, if I walked around my neighborhood telling everybody I'm a pro football player, I cannot even begin to think that anybody would believe me. Go figure.
I agree--it's probably insecurity and habit.
I always wonder what's going through their heads when they get "busted" on a lie. They don't seem to show any shame. They just keep rambling on with another lie. I know I should feel sorry for/pray for these guys, but it's hard when the person lying doesn't seem to care.
Yeah, I'm with you on that one. I don't get it.
But I suppose it's possible that some people simply did not grow up with a sense that we SHOULD tell the truth, and that we SHOULD be honest. So their default setting is not honesty, but dishonesty. I don't know.
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RE: Liars - 10/24/2008 7:58:48 AM
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DaveW
Posts: 4171
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
Status: offline
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I had a not-so-close friend in grade school who was a pathologic liar. He was nominally christian and said he wanted to tell the truth, but lies kept coming out of his mouth even when the truth would have been better for him. Even when the truth was glaringly obvious. He once said that even when he tried to tell the truth, something else came out.
Was he demonized? Perhaps.
The fact is there are some out there, of both genders, who for some reason cannot tell the truth.
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And the crazy thing is--he's worked for a good firm for years and retired with good pay. He could brag about that--and it'd be the truth! He owns a cabin up north and drives a great car. (That is true cuz I've known people who've been to his cabin.) He has plenty to brag about--yet he chooses to tell these tales. 
