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Keepers of the Home / Homeschoolers - 11/3/2008 4:34:18 PM
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VisitorinWaiting
Posts: 649
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Okay, this question is for all of you ladies who are stay-at-home moms and also homeschool. How do you get it all done?! If I'm having this much problem now, I couldn't even imagine what I'd be like if I had an "outside" job... Here are the things I feel like I must do in a day...
1. Alone/quiet time with God (the only one that corresponds in order with it's number here)
2. Cleaning house
3. Homeschooling
4. Time with hubby
Somehow, I always work in #4, although it's never enough time according to either of us...and I am getting better at geting #1 done before the kids wake in the morning and after they go to sleep at night... If I really look at it, my problem is not getting school and house cleaning DONE, but rather how to occupy the kids while I do cleaning. We have no requirements as far as time for homeschooling, but we are usually done before lunch...and if we aren't, we are done by 1. Then I COULD use the rest of the day to clean...I wouldn't because it wouldn't be good for me or the kids...but I could...but I can't...not now anyway. I don't have a schedule of things for the kids to do in the afternoon. What do your children do while you are cleaning, besides getting in trouble? I feel like I start a job only to get it a quarter of the way done before I go deal with a problem, and if I get to start back at it, it's not long before I have to leave again. They are great during our morning hours when we are scheduled with school and such, but afternoons are just chaotic. If it's raining outside, it's especially hard because they have no "big" outlet for energy... They have toys, but none that seem to occupy them for very long, and the girlis always wanting to see what the boys are doing and vice versa. I have two boys...5 and 4, and a girl who is 2. So, they have a few chores that they can do while I'm doing mine, but not nearly enough to occupy them for the amount of time it takes me to get mine done...being a grown-up, I have more than they do...of course. :) So, any ideas or tips on this will be appreciated...
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Hebrews 11:13,16 "...They said they were like visitors and strangers on earth...they were waiting for a better country, a heavenly country." (NCV)
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RE: Keepers of the Home / Homeschoolers - 11/3/2008 5:07:38 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 8081
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
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quote:
ORIGINAL: VisitorinWaiting
If I really look at it, my problem is not getting school and house cleaning DONE, but rather how to occupy the kids while I do cleaning. We have no requirements as far as time for homeschooling, but we are usually done before lunch...and if we aren't, we are done by 1. Then I COULD use the rest of the day to clean...I wouldn't because it wouldn't be good for me or the kids...but I could...but I can't...not now anyway.
Are you saying that you could seriously spend the entire afternoon cleaning your house? You are right, that wouldn't be good for you or the kids. It is excessive. It doesn't take hours a day to keep a house clean. If a person feels they have to have their house that clean, either they are under pressure from someone to be perfect or are putting pressure on themselves to be perfect or both.
If the problem is that your kids are making a mess, then keep them to one area and make sure they clean up before they move on. If they spend as much time cleaning up as they did making the mess, no problem, they will learn to clean up faster and it will become a habit for them to clean up rather than expecting you to do it for them.
_____________________________
My husband and I have a motto:
We are the leader. We are one.
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RE: Keepers of the Home / Homeschoolers - 11/3/2008 10:38:13 PM
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VisitorinWaiting
Posts: 649
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Yes, I am under pressure from someoneS to get it perfect...and I always fail...
_____________________________
Hebrews 11:13,16 "...They said they were like visitors and strangers on earth...they were waiting for a better country, a heavenly country." (NCV)
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RE: Keepers of the Home / Homeschoolers - 11/3/2008 10:43:41 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 8081
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
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quote:
ORIGINAL: VisitorinWaiting
Yes, I am under pressure from someoneS to get it perfect...and I always fail...
That is because what is being asked of you is unreasonable. I suggest you pray about how to approach that person to explain that you are living to please the Lord and wasting time and being stressed over doing something unreasonable is not being a good steward of His resources.
_____________________________
My husband and I have a motto:
We are the leader. We are one.
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RE: Keepers of the Home / Homeschoolers - 11/4/2008 7:30:42 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10218
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
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I think the trick is getting the cleaning to be a group effort. For us, that includes mom and dad. Usually either Saturday or Sunday afternoon, I turn into drill sergeant Mommy and bark orders. Kidding, kidding...kinda. What we do is assign each kid a room. When they run out of things they can think of to do, I inspect and offer more suggestions.  We all work together until it is done and then we do something special together, like have a movie and popcorn night or make ice cream sundaes.
As for how to get the hsing done too...for me, when we bring Noah back home, we will be using Bob Jones DVD curriculum so it takes the bulk of the teaching off of me. I simply can't do it all with 3 little kids besides. So I'm not going to try. Setting expectations I know I can't meet will only set me up for failure. So I need to find ways to set myself up for success. I think you need to do the same, but its hard to make suggestions for you, as I have enough trouble with my own life. 
_____________________________
He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him;
He hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked He will destroy.
~Psalm 145:19-20~
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RE: Keepers of the Home / Homeschoolers - 11/4/2008 10:00:14 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 8081
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
Status: online
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It doesn't sound like her house isn't clean. From what she said, she is expected to spend hours a day cleaning whether it needs it or not.
Is this a correct understanding of the situation, Visitor?
_____________________________
My husband and I have a motto:
We are the leader. We are one.
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RE: Keepers of the Home / Homeschoolers - 11/6/2008 8:11:12 AM
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Sunnymom
Posts: 1824
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I don't know if this will help much, but my kids start doing chores at a very young age. By 2 yo, they can make their beds, put things away, sort laundry, and dust the furniture. I get things like Swiffer sweepers and Dustbusters that they can use- they are small and light- perfect for kids. By 4-5 they can wipe kitchen counters, clear the table, wash dishes, clean the bathroom with Clorox wipes and help more with the laundry- putting things on hangers, etc... During chore time we put in audiobooks to listen to, or pop in a CD and sing while we work. They also learn how to make their own snacks- they have a cabinet and drawer where all the 'approved' snacks and snack supplies are kept. When they are 6-7, I teach them to help with dinner by rolling up the crescent rolls, getting out condiments, mixing the meatloaf with their hands (they love that, especially when we sing "Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts" while mixing!), and making salad. Kids can learn to use knives responsibly at that age.
I am always amazed at how kids will rise to almost any challenge, and revel in being given responsibility.
The idea IMO is that this is their house too. I am not a maid, I do not 'wait' on people. I teach them how to care for their things, and then leave them to it. If they insist on leaving things out for me to deal with, those items become MINE, and I do NOT share.
I agree that expectations might be to high with small kids running about. The house need not be spotless- it should be clean- sure, but most important is that a home be a place where the children can relax and feel comfortable and nurtured. They should feel that this is their Home, and not feel like the house owns them. Stuff serves us- we do not serve our stuff. If we are serving our stuff, get rid of the stuff. IOW, declutter. I have strong convictions against counters and shelves full of knick-knacks. BTW, books are not knick-knacks. 
Really- I hope that helps. I grew up on a working farm where chores at a young age were SOP. I didn't give it a thought when I had kids of my own- I expected from them what was expected of me when I was a kid. I didn't plan it necessarily, it just happened that way naturally.
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RE: Keepers of the Home / Homeschoolers - 11/6/2008 10:17:54 AM
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zoebob
Posts: 8878
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: land of limbo
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I agree have them help. If necessary throw in a video. In half an hour you can probably get a lot done. Do they take naps? If the 2 yr old is napping the older two can help do things.
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L-R: DD1, Ellies DS2, DD2, Ellies DS1
L-R: Ellies DD1, Ellies DD2, DS, Ellies DS3
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RE: Keepers of the Home / Homeschoolers - 11/6/2008 2:40:01 PM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 5159
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Formerly Jesus Land
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I've found for us that the key is to start school later. This year we started waiting until 10:00 am to start school. At 9:00, after breakfast and showers and forums, etc., we all start cleaning. They each have a job to do, and we whip the house into shape in an hour. Then we do school in a clean house. It works for us!
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Bonky
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RE: Keepers of the Home / Homeschoolers - 11/6/2008 9:54:17 PM
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VisitorinWaiting
Posts: 649
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cynthia
It doesn't sound like her house isn't clean. From what she said, she is expected to spend hours a day cleaning whether it needs it or not.
Is this a correct understanding of the situation, Visitor?
Well, yes and no. No one asks me how many hours a day I spent cleaning, and I'm not expected to be cleaning for "x' number of hours a day. It's just that when the floors have something on them that I must have missed, or the laundry has yet to be put away, or things like that, then I usually get "heat' about it...not from one person...usually three people... It's not like I didn't WANT to get those things done that day...and it's not like it makes me feel GOOD to have clothes that haven't been put away or a floor that hasn't been swept...but I'm dealing with a 5 year old, a 4 year old, and a 2 year old here...and homeschooling them...
My house is not always clean...but I'd like it to be... I just like and feel comfortable when I walk into a room and things are nice, clean, and neat. If I know their is laundry on my bed that hasn't been put away, it's hard for me to leave it and go do something with the children. They need me more, I know...but those clothes nag at me until I get it done. I just don't seem to have things scheduled (or something?!) well enough to find time to fit all the things I want (and sometimes need) to fit into a day...
The kids really LOVE to help, and I can really get them going with a timer...even without a prize...just "See if you can get it done before the timer goes off." It's those things that they really can't do yet...things that are either too high or too difficult and are just not ready yet that we have problems with. They can keep their rooms clean, they will pick up when I ask them to, and they love the word chores. (They being my two oldest...my 2 yo doesn't realize much about that word yet, but she also LOVES to help...so much that I am running over her most of the day because she's following me around trying to do everything I do.)
_____________________________
Hebrews 11:13,16 "...They said they were like visitors and strangers on earth...they were waiting for a better country, a heavenly country." (NCV)
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RE: Keepers of the Home / Homeschoolers - 11/6/2008 10:31:40 PM
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cindybode
Posts: 1572
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Northwest PA
Status: online
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So do the 3 people who give you "heat" live there?
If the answer is yes, then it's their home too, and they are more than welcome to do anything you haven't had a chance to get to. If they are unwilling, I'd leave them to do what you do for a day (assuming age and capability), and give them a little "heat" when you get back home. 
If they don't live with you, then it's none of their business. I'd sweetly inform them that since the state of your home bothers them so much, they can feel released from the obligation of visiting you. I would then show them the door and, depending on my mood, may or may not warn them about the boot that's likely to be planted in their backsides on the way out.
In all seriousness, you need to stick up for yourself here. Your husband (am I correct in guessing he's one of the hot coals here?) is to love and serve you as Christ did the church. If you didn't get the floor swept, then a Christlike husband would zip his lip and pick up the broom. If he won't do that, then at the very least you need to refuse to accept his criticism. It's not like you're sitting on your butt all day eating bon bons. Sheesh.
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If you lock in any creature, from rats to chickens to pigs to people, 10 to 30 or more in a box and force feed them you'll create little monsters. Confinement Education School Operations (CESOs) just don't compare to naturally pastured free-ranged kids.
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RE: Keepers of the Home / Homeschoolers - 11/13/2008 1:00:19 PM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 5159
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Formerly Jesus Land
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Lol! Thank you, Sharon-Marie! And Happy Birthday to you, too!
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Bonky
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