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Dealing with temptation - 8/17/2008 6:12:06 PM
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ColoradoLady36
Posts: 160
Joined: 8/11/2008
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I had this conversation with my mother the other day, but wanted to run it by you guys to see what you thought? Scenario: You are in a relationship with someone, but are not married. How about if you are courting and intend on marrying at a later date? How do you remain pure until that time? Understandably as Christians, we are supposed to remain abstinent until marriage, but what is your take on this? Just wondering. Thank you, Stacey
_____________________________
Jesus loves me, even though....
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RE: Dealing with temptation - 8/17/2008 6:16:58 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12571
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
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God's Word says it - that's enough for me.
Sorry, that may be a simple answer, but, it really is simple. No sex until marriage - period! Set the ground rules at the beginning, and don't allow yourself to get into tempting situations.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Dealing with temptation - 8/17/2008 6:45:12 PM
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losgan
Posts: 714
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From: Austin-Garland, Texas
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It bears repeating - STAY OUT OF TEMPTING SITUATIONS.
God tells us to FLEE from temptation.
Prayer is a big help too. When I'm struggling with temptation, even as I am about to do what I don't want to do I am begging God to stop me. It is AMAZING what He can do despite us!
One of my friends in your situation asked that I call her once a week and blatantly ask the tough questions. Knowing that call is coming, and knowing I'll hear the difference even if she tried to hide something that happened, makes her rethink things she sometimes wants to do (this is according to her).
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RE: Dealing with temptation - 8/17/2008 7:49:48 PM
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ChoirDJ
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From: So Cal
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I agree with the previous posters in avoiding situations were you (or the other person) will be tempted. It's also importatn to remain focused on God and channel that energy into pleasing him. I'm reading this book called "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris and it makes a lot of good points about letting love (and not lust) be the driving force for how to interact with the opposite sex.
_____________________________
"Sin will take you further than you intended to go, keep you there longer than you intended to stay, and cost you more than you intended to spend." Got it?
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RE: Dealing with temptation - 8/18/2008 2:42:14 PM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1242
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
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As a famous philospher (just kidding) Jon Courson said (and yes he's a pastor) he says.....
RUN!!!
Yes, a lot of us singles do have this issue in this area, especially those who are widdowed, but we also have to learn to to flee from it, as Logsan said--avoid those situations in which (and I'm learning too because the enemy wants to tempt you) you are weak in and get away. And stay in prayer and his word.
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Hear "The Truth" with the "other"l Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)
Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: Dealing with temptation - 8/18/2008 10:57:26 PM
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woodwind228
Posts: 476
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From: Atlanta
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ChoirDJ, I read that book a few years ago - it's a great book! It kinda has a funky title, but it gets your attention. It's not about dating, it's about courting. Big difference.
Anyway, I agree with what others said. Don't let yourself (or the other) fall into tempting situations. This is huge! When you are tempted, God is faithful to give us a way out (the Bible tells us this). Having an accountability partner is another good thing. I read somewhere (it might've been in a previous SS book, I can check) about a story where a girl had an accountability partner and it worked well. She also noted that she tended to get tired around the same times and found that she was in a weaker mindset when she was tired. So...she never stayed out beyond that time when she was on a date so as to prevent any tempting situations. If you're already engaged and are being tempted..............move the wedding date up!!
Remember the story where the Bible says that if your eye causes you to sin, to pluck it out, or if your hand does, cut it off? God is serious about this...we need to be also. And, I think, if we're maturing in our faith, we want to do our best to please God and to follow his commandments and ordinances.
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*~* Susan *~*
These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world. --John 16:33 KJV
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RE: Dealing with temptation - 8/19/2008 7:00:52 PM
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LadyHarmonyHH
Posts: 10
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ChoirDJ
I agree with the previous posters in avoiding situations were you (or the other person) will be tempted. It's also importatn to remain focused on God and channel that energy into pleasing him. I'm reading this book called "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris and it makes a lot of good points about letting love (and not lust) be the driving force for how to interact with the opposite sex.
I've heard way too much about this book lately to ignore it. I've been told I need to read it...maybe two times...lol (I have a tendency to get myself wrapped up in relationships and I get really, really hurt when I have to *de-tatch* from someone)
So I guess I need to pick it up!
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RE: Dealing with temptation - 8/19/2008 7:08:30 PM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12571
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
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LHHH - welcome to the forums! We have an intro thread HERE - tell us more about yourself.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Dealing with temptation - 8/19/2008 8:39:23 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2629
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: The little house in the prairie
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Honestly, this would be a tough one for me to deal with. I don't even know how I'll react when I have a boyfriend and I'm spending a lot of time with him. Temptations will always be there. You can't avoid some alone time especially with the kind of hobbies that I want to share with a would-be partner.
I guess for me, it would have to start with the Romans 12:1 verse about renewing my mind, and not conforming to the pattern of this world. It's about changing my mindset and really internalizing the will of God regarding sexual purity. I haven't always been, since I'm new to (well, not that new) to being a Christian, and the church I go to is so liberal that I am aware of only one female friend who never engaged in premarital sex with her boyfriend. He dumped her after waiting for 2 years.
I'm somewhat glad I have a lot of time (who knows, I might find Mr Right tomorrow...not likely, but possible ) before I get into a relationship. I know it's definitely something I would wrestle with if I had someone in my life. My very first post in Crosswalk was about sex, and I honestly, don't know if my questions back then had been answered.
_____________________________
The Lord is near to those who have a brokern heart.
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.........Psalm 34:18
<<<a change, finally!
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RE: Dealing with temptation - 8/19/2008 10:30:54 PM
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ebony101
Posts: 942
Joined: 4/1/2007
From: the big blue marble
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If you know that you will not be strong enough to resist temptation, then maybe you'll have to avoid situatuions where it's just the two of you in a cozy and intimate setting.
_____________________________
'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
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RE: Dealing with temptation - 8/20/2008 7:37:20 AM
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ColoradoLady36
Posts: 160
Joined: 8/11/2008
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I am definitely running down to my local bookstore and buying that book. I have to say that I like the name of it, though I am still unsure the difference between dating and courting. I will have to look on the forums, just still trying to learn how this stuff works here on Crosswalk.
Prairie- You are doing just fine angel, and you are right when you say your soulmate could come along today. God knows what's best for you and me both kid.
WoodWind-Your words are wise, and I definitely appreciate your input. Will you adopt me? I come as a package deal though, I have 3 children that come with me. lol. With your words, you leave no doubt about what you mean, and what God expects of me. I am guilty of allowing too much 'alone' time, and that's where the danger begins. Thank you so much sister for looking out for me.
Stacey
_____________________________
Jesus loves me, even though....
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RE: Dealing with temptation - 9/10/2008 2:42:54 AM
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ladyj4gzus
Posts: 3
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Woodbridge,VA
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another thing that might help is setting boundaries and attaining accountability, It keeps you from becoming one (physically, emotionally and spiritually) with someone before marriage. This concept is brought up in a book entitled 'Choosing God's Best' by Dr. Don Rauniker, not sure if i spelled his last name correctly...
but, like Joshua harris' book, it also explains the process of courtship, but it goes into greater details as to what that process really entails. I like it a lot! :) A male friend of mine (whom I have interest in, and He has made it clear that he has interest in me also) suggested that we go through the chapters and answer and review the questions together. Past relationships of mine usually failed because of my obsession with the other party, not fully focusing on God and being content in my singleness. Yet, God has actually used this process as a tool to bring me even closer to Him!...and I absolutely love it!
...but that's just my opinion....u have to try it for yourself
_____________________________
"For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek."~ Romans 1:16
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RE: Dealing with temptation - 9/10/2008 6:56:21 AM
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broyce1981
Posts: 1893
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: online
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The key is setting boundaries for yourself and know yourself and what situations will be tempting to you. If kissing will cause temptation, hold hands instead. If just spending time alone on his couch makes you tempted, sit in the park instead. Knowing yourself is the key I think and if you still find yourself in a tough situation, be resolved to run like Joseph did when tempted by Potiphar's wife. Flee the scene if necessary!
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