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Courtesy laughter? - 7/9/2008 11:31:56 AM
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willfs
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I have heard that women sometimes feel pressure to laugh at the jokes of guy friends and guy coworkers.
How true is this?
I know I can be humorous and that I get some sincere laughs but I often wonder, especially when around my girl friends, how much of the laughter is them just being nice. I was watching a T.V. morning show on one of the networks. The guy on there was making a ton of jokes. It was obvious that the ladies he was working with were laughing only to be nice. 90% of what he said was a joke. And he just doesn't seem like that funny a guy.
I am not bitter that a woman would be "fake laughing". I know it is only done so that the guy doesn't feel awkward. However, it does concern me some, for myself I mean. How much am I, and other guys, making our friends have to give out courtesy laughs? Are their any clues so that we might back off on our jokes. Many of the goofy things I say and do, I will continue to do just because I think they are funny. But I am sure that I would cut back on some of my humor if I new it was only getting courtesy laughs.
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RE: Courtesy laughter? - 7/9/2008 2:28:01 PM
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fluffmonkey
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Sometimes people have weird sense of humor and sometimes jokes are funny but sometimes people do a courtesy laugh to make the person telling joke to fell good instead of some akward silince... but thats with people in general... its not just girls who do it....guys do it as well... but sometime when girl does it to guy she just wants him to feel good and not feel stupid just for trying to make her laugh...and sometimes people laugh even though they dont get the joke...
Rarely do I laugh at something even if its not funny... I usually want laugh and people just think im some kind weirdo but sometimes I find something funny even if not laugh out loud... but say like some kid was telling you a joke and it just sounded like a bunch of jibbrish would you not laugh at it?
< Message edited by fluffmonkey -- 7/9/2008 2:36:40 PM >
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RE: Courtesy laughter? - 7/9/2008 3:59:18 PM
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BugLady
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It isn't true for me. If it isn't funny, I won't be laughing. I'm more likely to speak up and say "Not funny". I've never heard of courtesy laughter.
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RE: Courtesy laughter? - 7/10/2008 7:49:24 AM
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car2ner
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Men and women often find differant things funny. Humor depends on being able to relate to the situation and having survived it.
In the meantime, a woman faking a laugh won't be doing it for long. Too much like work.
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RE: Courtesy laughter? - 7/10/2008 10:16:29 AM
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Szaftoo
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quote:
ORIGINAL: willfs
I have heard that women sometimes feel pressure to laugh at the jokes of guy friends and guy coworkers.
How true is this?
Sounds like what a guy would say to another guy.
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RE: Courtesy laughter? - 7/10/2008 10:33:08 AM
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fluffmonkey
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quote:
Sounds like what a guy would say to another guy.
yeah lol
quote:
a woman faking a laugh won't be doing it for long. Too much like work
agree
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RE: Courtesy laughter? - 7/10/2008 5:54:47 PM
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willfs
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Szaftoo
quote:
ORIGINAL: willfs
I have heard that women sometimes feel pressure to laugh at the jokes of guy friends and guy coworkers.
How true is this?
Sounds like what a guy would say to another guy.
I heard it on the movie "What Women Want." I then asked a woman I worked with, who happened to be watching the movie with me, if that were true. She said yes.
My daily experience seems to back this up, meaning that, in general, the women in my life seem to be a lot more sensitive than the guys I hang around. They are nicer and more affirming. They seem to give more positive responses in conversations and also seem to laugh a lot more at jokes that guys say, even when they are not that humorous. I would think they would do this in order to be affirming. Maybe I just happened to be hanging around with a few really sweet women, because I don't see it in all women. Maybe I should direct this question toward those few women.
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RE: Courtesy laughter? - 7/10/2008 6:00:33 PM
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BugLady
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Why would it be affirming to laugh as a courtesy? It's dishonest to lead someone to think they're something they are not.
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RE: Courtesy laughter? - 7/10/2008 10:11:39 PM
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BugLady
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quote:
Unless it's inappropriate.
I'd have to say it has been my unfortunate experience that generally when a guy isn't funny it's because he's been inappropriate. So I guess that's where I'm coming from. But I also can't think of time I laughed out of courtesy, though.
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RE: Courtesy laughter? - 7/10/2008 10:52:20 PM
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spade
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I laugh when I'm nervous. If a joke isn't appropriate or is just dumb, I may still laugh out of nervousness. There are certainly times I laugh at things intentionally, even when they aren't funny, to be nice to the person saying them (my grandmother's husband comes to mind). But I'll often laugh at comments or jokes that are inappropriate just because I'm uncomfortable. It's not intentional; it just happens.
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RE: Courtesy laughter? - 7/11/2008 7:47:22 AM
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car2ner
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Even being a retired actress, I can't fake a courtesy laugh very effectively. My prefered way of dealing with an awkward moment following a joke that bombed, is to try to make a statement. The trick is to make it mildly clever but not snarky.
M'love, just stares and says..."I don't get it". It encourages the jokster to rething his punchlines which can be much kinder in the end.
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RE: Courtesy laughter? - 7/11/2008 11:38:33 AM
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fluffmonkey
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quote:
In my experience it's usually older gentlemen who are trying to joke around with me that say things that aren't funny... and I'll laugh anyways. Usually I think it's just because we're from two different generations.
This happens alot to me as well, I work in small town and I always have older men come in the morning... although sometimes their old jokes that dont always make sesne to me make me smile but I laugh at them because it makes them smile.
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RE: Courtesy laughter? - 7/11/2008 8:11:01 PM
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trinigirl722
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quote:
ORIGINAL: willfs
Are their any clues so that we might back off on our jokes. Many of the goofy things I say and do, I will continue to do just because I think they are funny. But I am sure that I would cut back on some of my humor if I new it was only getting courtesy laughs.
I confess I'm guilty of this, but only with people I don't know well. I'm just being polite.
You asked for clues ... when I laugh to be polite, it's a very weak-hearted, token laugh. Maybe a quick "heh heh" and then, "Yeah, that's funny," or "That's cute." When I really think something's funny, I laugh very enthusiastically and for a while. So, I think body language is a pretty good clue. It's usually pretty easy to tell the difference between a token laugh and the real thing. And if someone keeps on with not-funny jokes, I think it would be safe to say most women would stop laughing and start looking annoyed.
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RE: Courtesy laughter? - 7/12/2008 11:21:30 PM
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HappilyMarried
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Woops, I do that quite a bit. We have someone in our office who thinks she's the female version of Dane Cook. She is not funny AT ALL, but I laugh because I feel bad for her...and sometimes I laugh because I'm embarrassed for her, and I laugh when I'm embarrassed (but she thinks I'm laughing at her jokes). I think you can tell by the much they are laughing? Usually if it's not funny, it's a chuckle, but when it's really funny it's a good long laugh.
BUT, this often backfires on me, because now when she thinks she has something funny to say, she'll run to find me to tell me her new joke. It's just so hard not to laugh at her jokes even though they aren't funny-- because I know she tries.
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