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Clueless Part II - 9/18/2008 10:12:13 AM
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rgod
Posts: 1555
Joined: 4/25/2005
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This is inspired by PrairieHiker's post (thanks PH!!!)
Gentlemen, do women know when YOU are interested in THEM? What signals do you usually send to a woman to let her know that you are interested? Also, do you normally show interest first?
***Edited because my original post was wordy and confusing ... even to me ***
< Message edited by rgod -- 9/18/2008 11:32:41 AM >
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RE: Clueless Part II - 9/18/2008 11:13:00 AM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 1250
Joined: 6/1/2008
Status: online
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Rgod,
This sounds like an invitation to co-author a paperback book with a shiny yellow cover- Social Signals for Men and Women Who are Clueless Dummies.  Count me in. I'm always looking for a source of extra income.
The big challenge is how to capture a strangers attention and deliver a signal of interest at exactly the right moment... as seen in carefully choreographed movies where such works just as planned. I am OTO that anyone can be clueless. Perhaps a little more talk and a lot less traffic lights would benefit everyone. Talking to a stranger could be a lot less intimidating than trying to wiggle your eyeballs a certain way or do the wave with your eyebrows or something. Unless you want to do the complete mime skit and proclaim your love from the 'rooftops' for this total stranger in a dramatic performance that leads to total rejection, or a welcoming perhaps, amidst thunderous applause from all the patrons wherever you are.
The I don't want to talk, thanks, reply, of course, if you are pushy, could be followed by that's okay, I'll do the talking, and you just relax and listen reply. A slap or a relocation takes all the guesswork out of it, right? Now if a woman is the one slapped, that'd not be a good thing. 
quote:
ORIGINAL: rgod
This is inspired by PrairieHiker's post (thanks PH!!!)
Gentlemen, do you feel that women can be clueless when it comes to noticing that you have an interest in them? Or to put it another way, do you send signals, but the woman doesn't pick up on it because she doesn't know? Also ... if she doesn't send you a signal that she might like you first -- are you more hesitant to send a signal of your own? In other words, do you need the "green light" to approach her? (I feel like a train conductor with all of this talk about signals).
_____________________________
When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, "Let's go to Bethlehem! Let's see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about. Luke 2:15 (NLT)
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RE: Clueless Part II - 9/18/2008 11:15:38 AM
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huskarine
Posts: 444
Joined: 7/31/2008
From: Wheaton, IL
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first of all, it is a case by case basis...different men know different signals...some of us men are just plain clueless....
to be honest, i am in agreeance with Joshua Harris in this one. Women should just flirt more and men should step up to the plate. We are dancing around stupid this, that, and another just wasting time. Ultimately, just killing the whole purpose of the relationship as well as needed honesty. if a man is too clueless, then there probably is a reason...
take my word for it, don't be afraid of embarrasment, just be upfront about how you feel. but make sure you get to know the guy first. My wife knew that i was interested in her, but she would only say yes to being with me and going out with me AFTER she knew me.
_____________________________
"Success is equated with excess/the ambition for excess wrecks us/as the top of the mind becomes the bottom line/when success is equated with excess" -Switchfoot "American Dream"
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RE: Clueless Part II - 9/18/2008 5:28:06 PM
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willfs
Posts: 333
Joined: 12/28/2007
Status: offline
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Here are several ways:
I will glance at her and even stare for a brief moment.
I will act shy but nice so that she doesn't expect me to be some outgoing flirt.
I will make conversation with her but not everytime we meet.
Everytime she says any joke I will always react with laughter or a big smile.
I will say teasing remarks toward her.
To know how interested I am in a woman, take how many of the above actions I have taken toward her, mutliply by three and then add five. The result is how interested I am in her (on a scale of 1-20).
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RE: Clueless Part II - 9/18/2008 6:49:58 PM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 1250
Joined: 6/1/2008
Status: online
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quote:
Gentlemen, do you feel that women can be clueless when it comes to noticing that you have an interest in them? Or to put it another way, do you send signals, but the woman doesn't pick up on it because she doesn't know? Also ... if she doesn't send you a signal that she might like you first -- are you more hesitant to send a signal of your own? In other words, do you need the "green light" to approach her? (I feel like a train conductor with all of this talk about signals).
Can a woman I'm interested in getting to know miss my nonverbal communication of such? Absolutely.
Maybe she doesn't know my form of nonverbal communication? That's possible, even with my years of study on it in all the popular experts textbooks.
Am I shy on initiating this nonverbal conversation of want to dance/talk/step outside where it's quiet/finish these appetizers? Usually, yes.
Do I need her to initiate things?
These are really great questions, yet our stage is not set for these posssible star-crossed lovers. What is missing? Well, both guy and gal need to be there with an idea that they might meet someone they like. In fact, they aren't at their regular hang-out place, they are there to check out the scene. If that's not the case, one can signal 'til they turn blue, and it just won't matter because the other is not there for that. Can we agree there's a lot more going in to it than waving flags ,batting eyes, throwing straw wrappers and ice cubes, blinking lights, and yelling hey you! Yeah! You! Wanna dance? If the stage isn't set, and you can't sense it, then you risk taking your best ice cube tosses, lines, etc. and becoming an obnoxious flirt and maybe insensitive in your hopeful's mind. Is this a possibility?
OneJohn410
_____________________________
When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, "Let's go to Bethlehem! Let's see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about. Luke 2:15 (NLT)
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RE: Clueless Part II - 9/19/2008 10:11:10 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8004
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: willfs
Here are several ways:
I will glance at her and even stare for a brief moment.
I will act shy but nice so that she doesn't expect me to be some outgoing flirt.
I will make conversation with her but not everytime we meet.
Everytime she says any joke I will always react with laughter or a big smile.
I will say teasing remarks toward her.
To know how interested I am in a woman, take how many of the above actions I have taken toward her, mutliply by three and then add five. The result is how interested I am in her (on a scale of 1-20).
Sorry, It's a scale of 5-20. (I tried to restrain myself but I just couldn't do it. The geek in me came bursting to the surface and knew that somewhere on the internet, someone was wrong)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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