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Atheist cousin - 11/2/2008 11:42:48 AM
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Mark328
Posts: 202
Joined: 8/9/2008
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My cousin is an atheist, and I learned this the hard way when I sent him a forward to pray for our troops in Iraq. He grew up going to church, so how he came to be an atheist I'm not sure exactly. But anyways, he sent me a very nasty e-mail about me cramming Christianity down his throat and he attacked my faith and God, and we didn't talk for a couple of years as a result.
I extended an olive branch to him and e-mailed him a few weeks ago. I basically told him that we should set our differences aside and just be cousins again. He responded with an e-mail where he said he's been an atheist since he was 15 (we are both in our 30s), and that he's been beaten up and fired from jobs because he was an atheist. He also went on to proclaim himself as a "martyr for atheism" (???) because of being persecuted by Christians, and felt that I was persecuting him by sending him this forward. I wrote him back and told him that he should have known me better than that, that I would never turn my back on a family member because of differences in beliefs. I haven't heard from him since.
Did I make a mistake by extending the "olive branch" e-mail to him? I get the impression that relationship with him is permanently damaged. We live 2000 miles away from each other, but we were close as kids. It breaks my heart that our relationship and friendship would be destroyed by the fact that I became a Christian...
Advice/answers, anyone?
< Message edited by Mark328 -- 11/2/2008 12:06:56 PM >
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RE: Atheist cousin - 11/2/2008 1:01:59 PM
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Child4Jesus
Posts: 472
Joined: 5/24/2005
From: Long Island, Nassau, Elmont, NY
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mark328
My cousin is an atheist, and I learned this the hard way when I sent him a forward to pray for our troops in Iraq. He grew up going to church, so how he came to be an atheist I'm not sure exactly. But anyways, he sent me a very nasty e-mail about me cramming Christianity down his throat and he attacked my faith and God, and we didn't talk for a couple of years as a result.
I extended an olive branch to him and e-mailed him a few weeks ago. I basically told him that we should set our differences aside and just be cousins again. He responded with an e-mail where he said he's been an atheist since he was 15 (we are both in our 30s), and that he's been beaten up and fired from jobs because he was an atheist. He also went on to proclaim himself as a "martyr for atheism" (???) because of being persecuted by Christians, and felt that I was persecuting him by sending him this forward. I wrote him back and told him that he should have known me better than that, that I would never turn my back on a family member because of differences in beliefs. I haven't heard from him since.
Did I make a mistake by extending the "olive branch" e-mail to him? I get the impression that relationship with him is permanently damaged. We live 2000 miles away from each other, but we were close as kids. It breaks my heart that our relationship and friendship would be destroyed by the fact that I became a Christian...
Advice/answers, anyone?
Growing up and around a Christian environment does make one a Christian. It's either one of two things why he never came to be a Christian. Either all the teaching he was under coming up never penetrated his hard heart or it did but he wants to remain his own lord.
The way he reacted is how most atheists react. You even mention God or anything Christian to them just once and you are cramming it down his/her throat. His reaction shows to me that he knows what the truth is but refuses to accept it and be set free.
_____________________________
In Christ,
Richad
The greatest heresy to American Christianity is that if you ask Jesus to come into your heart, he definitely will.
Paul Washer
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RE: Atheist cousin - 11/2/2008 1:29:28 PM
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Mark328
Posts: 202
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Child4Jesus
quote:
ORIGINAL: Mark328
My cousin is an atheist, and I learned this the hard way when I sent him a forward to pray for our troops in Iraq. He grew up going to church, so how he came to be an atheist I'm not sure exactly. But anyways, he sent me a very nasty e-mail about me cramming Christianity down his throat and he attacked my faith and God, and we didn't talk for a couple of years as a result.
I extended an olive branch to him and e-mailed him a few weeks ago. I basically told him that we should set our differences aside and just be cousins again. He responded with an e-mail where he said he's been an atheist since he was 15 (we are both in our 30s), and that he's been beaten up and fired from jobs because he was an atheist. He also went on to proclaim himself as a "martyr for atheism" (???) because of being persecuted by Christians, and felt that I was persecuting him by sending him this forward. I wrote him back and told him that he should have known me better than that, that I would never turn my back on a family member because of differences in beliefs. I haven't heard from him since.
Did I make a mistake by extending the "olive branch" e-mail to him? I get the impression that relationship with him is permanently damaged. We live 2000 miles away from each other, but we were close as kids. It breaks my heart that our relationship and friendship would be destroyed by the fact that I became a Christian...
Advice/answers, anyone?
Growing up and around a Christian environment does make one a Christian. It's either one of two things why he never came to be a Christian. Either all the teaching he was under coming up never penetrated his hard heart or it did but he wants to remain his own lord.
The way he reacted is how most atheists react. You even mention God or anything Christian to them just once and you are cramming it down his/her throat. His reaction shows to me that he knows what the truth is but refuses to accept it and be set free.
That was my thought as well. And the funny thing is, he never told me he was an atheist until I e-mailed that forward to him. About 6 months prior to that, when I became a Christian, I call him to inform of that and said, "Wow, congratulations." Imagine my confusion when he sent me that e-mail!
My aunt and uncle (his parents) are devout Christians, and his brother is atheist as well, he just doesn't advertise it nearly as much. Ironically, I grew up in an agnostic family and ended up being a Christian.
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RE: Atheist cousin - 11/2/2008 9:03:28 PM
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Chrystal-J-007
Posts: 657
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Detroit
Status: online
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My sister is an atheist and it's really driven a wedge between us. I deliberately avoid the topic of God, Jesus, religion, etc. when I talk with her--just so she won't go off on a tirade. But, most of the time she brings up the topic herself and then goes on to tell me how stupid I am for believing in God. Our relationship is basically nil at this point. I feel like all I can do is pray for her. I hope that one day she becomes a Christian, but it's so stressful to be around her that I avoid her at this point in time. (She lives far away too, but sends me e-mails.) I don't respond to her e-mails anymore. It's a matter of respect. If she's gonna be rude to me, I don't see any reason to "talk" to her.
I still hope our relationship improves at some point and we can talk again. But, prayer is the only thing that's gonna work for now.
_____________________________
Worry looks around, Sorrow looks back, Faith looks up
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...timing is everything!
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RE: Atheist cousin - 11/2/2008 10:35:34 PM
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MrsTracy72
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I am sorry that your cousin came out with that nasty e:mail to you. You didn't make a mistake, but you can't change him. Only God can change a person, but they have to first seek him. Our job as Christians is not to cram it down people's throat, convert everybody we meet, or avoid the topic just because someone else doesn't like it, but our job is to plant that seed. To offer to tell them about Christ and let them take it from there. If they want to know more, they will either seek us out or seek out someone who can help them navigate their beliefs and thoughts.
You extended the offer, he rejected it. I am sure that while he is wherever he is stationed, there will be times where his atheist mouth will be praying to God. And he may come back a new person. He may not change at all, and he may decide 10 years from now that he needs to "revisit" his Christianity or lack of.
Everything is on God's timetable, and God will help bring him around when he is ready. That is what he does. You can encourage him in other ways, or you can tell him that you are going to sign your letters God Bless, or let him know that you are praying for him and if he doesn't like that, then since you are not going to abandon your beliefs just for him, he can choose to read your mail, or choose not to, but you are still going to send it because you love him and that is what people who love eachother do.
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RE: Atheist cousin - 11/3/2008 12:14:20 AM
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hemidart
Posts: 23
Joined: 10/22/2008
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Hi to Mark 328: sorry to hear about your cousin. (My opinion) is that your cousin has been hurt by religion before he came to know Jesus in a personal way. However-- anyone who becomes an atheist or agnostic--CHOOSES to do so because: 1. They do not want God or Jesus in their life. 2. They are NOT ready to meet God. 3. They want to live a life of self & have no time for God--I think we all have some problem here.4. Other
If a person is not ready to meet God--then likely they will deny there is a God. Foolish people also believe evolution because they choose to believe that instead of God. We mostly all were born with a brain which tells us something (the world & our bodies, which are "fearfully & wonderfully made" the Bible says,) cannot just come into being--only GOD can do that!!!!--hope this helps you figure it out.
P.S. to Richad--"child4jesus who also posted--Being brought up in a Christian enviroment in no way makes one a "born-again" Christian--no offense. Prayer for the unsaved is great!! Sincerely, Dan
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RE: Atheist cousin - 11/3/2008 12:52:39 AM
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rgod
Posts: 1776
Joined: 4/25/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mark328
My cousin is an atheist, and I learned this the hard way when I sent him a forward to pray for our troops in Iraq. He grew up going to church, so how he came to be an atheist I'm not sure exactly. But anyways, he sent me a very nasty e-mail about me cramming Christianity down his throat and he attacked my faith and God, and we didn't talk for a couple of years as a result.
I extended an olive branch to him and e-mailed him a few weeks ago. I basically told him that we should set our differences aside and just be cousins again. He responded with an e-mail where he said he's been an atheist since he was 15 (we are both in our 30s), and that he's been beaten up and fired from jobs because he was an atheist. He also went on to proclaim himself as a "martyr for atheism" (???) because of being persecuted by Christians, and felt that I was persecuting him by sending him this forward. I wrote him back and told him that he should have known me better than that, that I would never turn my back on a family member because of differences in beliefs. I haven't heard from him since.
Did I make a mistake by extending the "olive branch" e-mail to him? I get the impression that relationship with him is permanently damaged. We live 2000 miles away from each other, but we were close as kids. It breaks my heart that our relationship and friendship would be destroyed by the fact that I became a Christian...
Advice/answers, anyone?
You didn't make a mistake. You did the right thing. I used to not believe in God too. I didn't grow up in a Christian home, but when I was very young I had an appetite for God. Then, when I was around 14, some Christians tried to witness to me and things didn't go well. satan totally used that to drive a wedge; then I got involved with the occult (kind of periphery kinds of things like palm reading etc - but nothing too deep). I hated Christ and all Christians. I thought any and every Christian was a hypocrite. It was irrational, but I would bait Christians, and I fed into everything around me that was anti-christian. I came to Christ through new age - which is a demonic teaching. But I moved from not believing there is a God to believing there is a Creator - even if it I believed He was the universe. Soon, Jesus called me and I was saved when I was 23.
I had a Christian friend throughout the years who was patient with me. I attacked her and her faith, but she never gave up on me. I had other Christian friends who witnessed to me, but mostly just loved me. And they prayed for me - hard. And God had already been working on me - I was miserable and broken and I wanted God. I became receptive.
So no, the olive branch was not bad. You need to walk by faith and not by sight on this. Pray for your cousin. Pray that the Lord will make him receptive. Pray that others will be come to witness to him. Keep lifting up Christ. Keep loving him. Be genuine. Don't tear up other Christians if he calls them hypocrites (you can demonstrate mercy - and extend it to everyone saved and unsaved) but continue to point him to Christ who is the only perfect one. If the Lord calls him, he will probably come to you to talk at some point down the road. Just keep the lines of communication open - keep praying - and trust God in all things.
I love that you have such a heart for your cousin! Praise God for that!
< Message edited by rgod -- 11/3/2008 7:14:15 AM >
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RE: Atheist cousin - 11/3/2008 2:01:29 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4480
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
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you didn't make a mistake at all ... i think your olive branch was a good move ... just him saying you were "persecuting him by sending him this forward" shows a troubled state of mind to me ... if having to click delete is persecution, seems to me he's quite the exagerator or quite delusional ... i also wonder if the topic in nature 'support our troops' raised his political ire.
_____________________________
Photoblogging My Life
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RE: Atheist cousin - 11/3/2008 2:10:22 PM
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Mark328
Posts: 202
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
you didn't make a mistake at all ... i think your olive branch was a good move ... just him saying you were "persecuting him by sending him this forward" shows a troubled state of mind to me ... if having to click delete is persecution, seems to me he's quite the exagerator or quite delusional ... i also wonder if the topic in nature 'support our troops' raised his political ire.
He's ex-military, and he said that some troops aren't worth praying for.
He said that he was being "persecuted through high school, his time in the Army and at various jobs." He claims that he was beaten up in the Army for his atheism and in high school, and that he was fired for his beliefs. I know he was discharged from the Army for a personality disorder and that's why I tried to reconcile with him.
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RE: Atheist cousin - 11/5/2008 1:42:26 PM
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Mark328
Posts: 202
Joined: 8/9/2008
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UPDATE - I did talk to my cousin, and we got to talking about typical stuff (he and his wife had a baby not long ago), and he asked about my new tattoo (I mentioned it in an e-mail), so I described it to him - it's a cross on my forearm. The cross tattoo offended him, and he accused me, once again, of cramming God down his throat... 
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RE: Atheist cousin - 11/5/2008 1:52:36 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4480
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
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seems like you can't win but good job on the open line of communication ...
_____________________________
Photoblogging My Life
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RE: Atheist cousin - 11/9/2008 12:39:12 AM
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Child4Jesus
Posts: 472
Joined: 5/24/2005
From: Long Island, Nassau, Elmont, NY
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mark328
UPDATE - I did talk to my cousin, and we got to talking about typical stuff (he and his wife had a baby not long ago), and he asked about my new tattoo (I mentioned it in an e-mail), so I described it to him - it's a cross on my forearm. The cross tattoo offended him, and he accused me, once again, of cramming God down his throat...
I'm sorry but your cousin seems to be a mean spirited person. He asked you a question and you answered him. Telling him you have a cross tatoo is cramming God down his throat? One thing that seems to be happening is he is feeling convicted and doesn't like it. He knows what the truth is and wants to hold on to the world.
_____________________________
In Christ,
Richad
The greatest heresy to American Christianity is that if you ask Jesus to come into your heart, he definitely will.
Paul Washer
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