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Apologizing - 10/24/2008 9:34:16 AM
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Prairiehiker
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How easy is it for men to apologize and admit you were wrong, or admit that your actions have hurt someone, whether done intentionally, or unintentionally?
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RE: Apologizing - 10/24/2008 9:46:46 AM
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e.barrett
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I don't see this as a male vs. female issue, I see this as a matter of pride. Maybe men are more prideful, I don't know, but that doesn't excuse us from living the way we should as Christians. It may not be easy to apologize, but then how many things are truly easy to accomplish when it involves living a sacrificial life?
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RE: Apologizing - 10/24/2008 11:11:09 AM
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mrtigger
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I don't think there is much of a gender difference in that area either...
I don't think it is the apologizing that is hard. I think what is hard is for people to do is to step back and objectively view their own actions and judge accurately whether they've done wrong to another or not. People have a great capacity for rationalizing their own bad behaviour as ok (or at least as something not too bad).
I think once people get to the point where they realize they were wrong, the apology will come naturally. But many people will not or cannot even see they were wrong at all.
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RE: Apologizing - 10/24/2008 1:39:30 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
How easy is it for men to apologize and admit you were wrong, or admit that your actions have hurt someone, whether done intentionally, or unintentionally?
Good question. If I ever end up being wrong I'll be sure to come back here and tell you. (Don't hold your breath)
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Apologizing - 10/24/2008 2:28:20 PM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
(Don't hold your breath)
because???
a) you'll never apologize for being wrong
b) you have a God syndrome and will never admit to being wrong
c) everything you do is wrong so why apologize, lol
I did see you apologize to some "lovely" woman in the singles forum a few months back, lol. There is hope for you yet!
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Wishing for a Steelers/Eagles superbowl.
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RE: Apologizing - 10/24/2008 2:55:14 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
(Don't hold your breath)
because???
a) you'll never apologize for being wrong
b) you have a God syndrome and will never admit to being wrong
c) everything you do is wrong so why apologize, lol
You left off "d) all of the above"
d.
quote:
I did see you apologize to some "lovely" woman in the singles forum a few months back, lol. There is hope for you yet!
Alas, I have no lass.
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Apologizing - 10/24/2008 3:15:33 PM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
d.
quote:
I did see you apologize to some "lovely" woman in the singles forum a few months back, lol. There is hope for you yet!
Alas, I have no lass
Yes, I know! I could really slap you silly for letting a woman like that go! She's pretty amazing and people like that doesn't come into our lives often! Maybe you should grovel and apologize, lol.
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Wishing for a Steelers/Eagles superbowl.
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RE: Apologizing - 10/25/2008 3:57:56 PM
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humbleinspirit
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For me apologizing is easy, but it is losing the battle and what that means in the future that makes it hard to say "I'm sorry" instead.
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RE: Apologizing - 10/26/2008 2:49:10 PM
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Prairiehiker
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Thanks Humble.
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RE: Apologizing - 10/26/2008 5:09:36 PM
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buckifn
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It's easy if I see that I am clearly wrong...the difficulty lies in the times other people want you to apologize but you still see yourself as right.
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RE: Apologizing - 10/26/2008 5:55:55 PM
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OneJohn410
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quote:
How easy is it for men to apologize and admit you were wrong, or admit that your actions have hurt someone, whether done intentionally, or unintentionally?
quote:
ORIGINAL: buckifn
It's easy if I see that I am clearly wrong...the difficulty lies in the times other people want you to apologize but you still see yourself as right.
Whoa! Gotta step back just a second. The thought of apologizing is easy when you feel convicted you were wrong, especially if it has been declared that I hurt them.
I say thought, because there can be some real sensitivity in how an apology is received. That can be difficult. To be in a situation where I feel I could be told I don't mean it, or am just saying it. Guys? Anyone? Ever feel like it's not just the apology, but the timing of it, too?
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For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
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RE: Apologizing - 10/26/2008 6:55:32 PM
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Prairiehiker
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Would the nature or the state of the relationship make a difference in whether you apologizing would come easily to you or not?
For me, apologizing is easy, but when it comes to a romantic relationship, it might make a difference on how easily I apologize. I think, and it's just a hunch, that my last relationship would have ended in good terms if I had apologize for something I did, and I would have, had he apologized first. I think he did, in a roundabout way but my pride kept getting in the way of accepting any real apologies without actually hearing the words that " he was sorry."
< Message edited by Prairiehiker -- 10/26/2008 7:01:42 PM >
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Wishing for a Steelers/Eagles superbowl.
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RE: Apologizing - 10/26/2008 7:15:06 PM
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SamsonUSA
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For me its much easier to apologize to someone that I am in a relationship with and my apology is definitely more genuine. If I said or did something to unintentionally hurt someone I was in a relationship with ( meaning I truly cared for her) realizing I hurt her would hurt me too.
If your not serious about someone where you might say something like " I'm sorry but I don't see us being compatible in a romantic relationship sort of way " then the apology is given so not to appear unkind or hurtful.
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RE: Apologizing - 10/30/2008 5:36:14 PM
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ajlewis
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I've always foud it curious that we never find Jesus ever having to apologize for anything. He never needed to.
For me if I really mass up I don't have a problem with it. I do have a problem if I have to apologize for someone else - which rarely happens.
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RE: Apologizing - 10/31/2008 12:34:14 AM
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OneJohn410
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneJohn410
quote:
How easy is it for men to apologize and admit you were wrong, or admit that your actions have hurt someone, whether done intentionally, or unintentionally?
quote:
ORIGINAL: buckifn
It's easy if I see that I am clearly wrong...the difficulty lies in the times other people want you to apologize but you still see yourself as right.
Whoa! Gotta step back just a second. The thought of apologizing is easy when you feel convicted you were wrong, especially if it has been declared that I hurt them.
I say thought, because there can be some real sensitivity in how an apology is received. That can be difficult. To be in a situation where I feel I could be told I don't mean it, or am just saying it. Guys? Anyone? Ever feel like it's not just the apology, but the timing of it, too?
I apologize. I got pondering in a post not my own. To clarify my dreadful last paragraph... it's not fault at all. I don't think ease in making one is all based on intentional or unintentional consequences, but should factor in sincerity and timing so as to not be mistaken for anything but what it is- and that it not be a big Hollywood production.
quote:
Would the nature or the state of the relationship make a difference in whether you apologizing would come easily to you or not?
Is the ease of making an apology in a relationship affected by its nature or state? And then you mentioned the order of them, whether he goes first, or she.
the words that come to mind are kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species (LOL, lets categorize the apologies). It was that word nature that got me started, then who goes first added order... .
I'd like to say no, not at all to that part before who goes first. I'd think it would be easier to apologize to someone in a romantic relationship than it would be over something in a casual friendship. The friend could wait a while, but to leave one's love in a feeling of hurt for a while- that should just work on one's own heartstrings too much to do. As to the ordering of the apologies, why, that's where chivalry should get drop-kicked and the man go first.
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For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
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RE: Apologizing - 10/31/2008 12:42:51 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneJohn410
As to the ordering of the apologies, why, that's where chivalry should get drop-kicked and the man go first.
I agree. Simply because I always do go first and seldom ask for apologies from others. Our duty is to make things right. The sooner we do that the more Christ-like we are being.
So when I mess up I try to make it right as quickly as I can. For one thing it's easier and for another it's commanded.
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Apologizing - 10/31/2008 7:15:32 PM
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MaleorderBride
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I agree with all the others who state that this is not a gender issue.
I have absolutely no problem with admitting I'm wrong. It keeps reminding me that I'm human and fallible. It also maintains the integrity of all of my relationships. If I would be incapable of admitting I'm wrong, what else would I be capable of lying about? Who could or would trust me?
I have known many men who refused to admit when they were wrong. But at the same time I know as many women (my own mother and sisters among them) who are equally as incapable of admitting when they are wrong.
The women I know who display this trait will change the premise of a disagreement mid-debate for the sole reason of avoiding the admission they might be in error. My Mother and older sister in particular, to my knowledge, have never admitted to being wrong about anything. They will twist logic, lie, call others a liar, accuse others of manufacturing evidence, make gross assumptions and specious generalities all to avoid admitting they are wrong.
This is the main reason I only see them on Thanksgiving and Christmas. I finally got sick and tired of being made to appear stupid and unreasonable when all I wished was to get the truth.
Male or female...I don't trust people like that.
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Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.
Revelation 19:7
<= That ain't me by-the-way. I don't wear a handlebar mustache.
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